Monday, February 27, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0103

5101.  The spicy oxtail stew (i.e., oxtail, habanero, tomato, thyme, scallion & basmati rice) at Compass Rose (CompassRoseDC.com) in D.C. is pretty tasty too;
5102.  (Grilled) duck hearts remind me of sausage;
5103.  Massachusetts was the first colony to legalize slavery in 1641;
5104.  At least 700 black soldiers served at Valley Forge (during the Revolutionary War);
5105.  The Bank of the United States sold bonds in slaves that helped finance roads, levees, canals and railroads;
5106.  Insurance companies sold policies to guarantee the “soundness” of slaves’ bodies;
5107.  Abraham Lincoln won the 1860 election with less than 40 percent of the popular vote and without winning a single southern state;
5108.  If you’re craving a (Turkish) simit, try Simit + Smith (SimitAndSmith.com) in Georgetown;
5109.  Happiness doesn’t happen to you.  It’s something you create;
5110.  Action will always bring results.  Sometimes they are results we don’t like and sometimes things still go wrong, but you learn from that;
5111.  The only sure way to change your situation from what it is now to where you want it to be is to take action;
5112.  Doing nothing will always result in nothing happening;
5113.  It’s your life.  If you don’t like something, change it.  No one else will change it for you;
5114.  It’s easier to accept that something is impossible than it is to accept that you need to improve something about yourself;
5115.  Clarity comes in degrees.  And you only need enough light for the next step;
5116.  Waiting feels safe, but waiting kills dreams;
5117.  Watch out for the knockoff ad(vertisement)s on Instagram;
5118.  Apparently, you can depreciate residential real estate (i.e., the house, not the land, which is usually 80% of the purchase price) over 27 ½ years;
5119.  I don’t like mint tea;
5120.  The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise.  A man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman.  Praise her freely;
5121.  Only the masculine side of your woman will grow through challenge.  The feminine side thrives on support and praise;
5122.  Praise always magnifies the quality of your woman that you praise;
5123.  When speaking to your woman, it is always better to call the glass half full than half empty;
5124.  Praise is literal food for feminine qualities.  If you want your woman to grow in her radiance, health, happiness, love, beauty, power and depth, praise these qualities.  Praise them daily, a number of times;
5125.  It is a difficult practice for most men to learn, but you must learn to praise the very qualities you feel are not yet praiseworthy in order for them to become so;
5126.  Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourself through the art of mutual gifting;
5127.  Just remember that any woman you are with, if she has a feminine sexual essence, will cycle through moods of closure every day which seem to have no “reason” to them.  You cannot avoid this by changing women or waiting for the moods to stop.  You can only develop your skill in serving your woman into openness.  It never ends though, even if you are passionate, fearless, loving and humorous with her;
5128.  90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved;
5129.  Give her your love.  Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate.  She may still have some situation to deal with and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love;
5130.  It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it.  Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more;
5131.  Give her love through your eyes, touch, movement and tone of voice.  Then and only then, after the connection of love has been made, find out what remains to be talked about;
5132.  As a man, you can learn a lot about yourself by clearly analyzing your problems.  One of the best ways for you to grow is to use your discrimination, feeling what is causing unnecessary pain in your life and then changing whatever you need to change;
5133.  One of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy (though not in business or simple friendship) is to be able to relax and surrender knowing that her man is taking care of everything.  Then, she can simply enjoy without having to plan it all herself and tell her man what to do.  She can be pure energy, pure motion and pure love without having to analyze all the options and decide which ones are best.  She can enjoy her man taking responsibility for the direction so she can be what the feminine is: pure energy;
5134.  The masculine chooses a single goal and moves in that direction.  Like a ship cutting through a vast ocean, the masculine decides on a course and navigates the direction: the feminine energy itself is undirected, but immense, like the wind and deep currents of the ocean, ever changing, beautiful, destructive and the source of life;
5135.  (I can say) I was at Karl Alzner’s 500th consecutive(, regular-season) NHL game;
5136.  Apples, blackberries, celery and carrots (all) act as natural toothbrushes.  They are fibrous enough to clean teeth, but also can kill bacteria that cause bad breath;
5137.  Any time you try to force your woman to be more like a ship than an ocean, you are negating her feminine energy.  Any time you talk to her and expect her to analyze her mood and situation to the point of being able to fix it, you are talking “masculine” with her.  She can do it, she might even be better at it than you, but it won’t make her a happy woman;
5138.  A happy woman is a woman relaxed in her body and heart: powerful, unpredictable, deep, potentially wild and destructive or calm and serene, but always full of life, surrendered to and moved by the great force of her oceanic heart;
5139.  Women do not become free by analyzing themselves.  They become free by surrendering into love, not your love, their love.  They become free by surrendering to the immense flow of love that is native to their core and allowing their lives to be moved by this force in their heart.  It may involve moments of analysis, but primarily it involves deep trust;
5140.  One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms.  When he stays present with her and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trust ability and she can relax;
5141.  The way you relate to your woman’s chaos reflects the way you react to the chaos of the world.  If you are the kind of man who needs everything placed neatly in its nice little box, then you will also try to box your woman’s emotions.  If you are the kind of man who would rather hire other people to take care of the chaos in your attic or the chaos of your finances, you would probably also rather leave it to someone else to take care of the chaos of your woman;
5142.  A man abandons responsibility by expecting that his woman will always make her own decisions and then be accountable for the results.  This expectation is a withholding of his masculine gift.  It puts a woman in the position of magnifying her own masculine;
5143.  Your woman asks you for your input and you say, “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.”  This is the statement of a friend not a lover.  As friends, you want to treat each other fairly and give each other space and independence.  As lovers, you and your woman are more than just friends.  You are playing the full dynamic of masculine and feminine polarity.  Wouldn’t you like your woman to be a goddess and offer you her feminine gifts?  To evoke them, you must offer her your masculine gifts.  One of your most valuable masculine gifts is the ability to see all the options and make a decision based on this view of all the potential outcomes;
5144.  Feminine decisions are based on what feels right and often this is the best way to make a decision.  However, the point in intimacy is not simply to make the best decision, but to make the best decision while maintaining the force of masculine/feminine polarity that attracted you together to begin with.  If that polarity begins to diminish, conflicts will begin to increase.  When that polarity disappears, attraction disappears and the life of the intimacy disappears with it;
5145.  You need to play the masculine pole if you want your woman to play the feminine.  Offering your perspective on decisions is one way to give your masculine gift.  Even on the most trivial decisions, never say, “Do whatever you want.”  If she asks you which shoes you think look better on her, make a decision and tell her.  Don’t just say, “They’re both nice.”  Say something like, “I like the red shoes, but what’s most important to me is that you’re happy.”  She is, of course, free to wear whatever shoes she wants, but she is also the recipient of your masculine gift of decisiveness;
5146.  If you refuse to offer your masculine gift by saying things like, “I don’t really care.  It’s up to you,” then she will have to learn to depend on her own masculine capacity.  Another way to say this is that she will begin to trust her own masculine more than yours.  Then, you will find that she trusts you less and less across the board.  She will refuse to surrender to you even sexually because she hasn’t been able to relax and trust you all day; you haven’t offered her your masculine clarity and perspective, so she has to be her own man and give it to herself;
5147.  As a practice, always help your woman make decisions by giving her your perspective and telling her your choices, while letting her know that you love her regardless of the decision she makes;
5148.  If you feel uncomfortable with your attraction to women, you are probably uncomfortable with your own masculine essence.  If you feel it is demeaning for a woman to be the “object” of your polar attraction, then you have probably disowned your masculine core.  You have energetically emasculated yourself by condemning and suppressing your native desires.  You are negating your sexual essence, rather than being at home with it;
5149.  Any negative attitude you have about your attraction to women is a sign of fear; somewhere along the line you learned that such attraction was “bad” or “evil.”  Your attraction to women, all kinds of women, is natural, normal and beautiful;
5150.  Sexual attraction is very different from having sex.  There is a big difference between choosing to be intimate with a woman and simply being attracted to her energy and radiance.  Intimacy is a choice between people who want to commit to loving and serving one another.  Whereas the zing of attraction is a choiceless natural flow of energy between your masculine core and feminine energy, wherever it is found.  When a woman is relaxed in her feminine radiance, she is like beautiful music or a warm ocean breeze.  You don’t need to have sex with her to savor inexpressible joy;

Monday, February 20, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0102

5051.  Job satisfaction requires three components: 1.  Passion – This is where it begins.  What do you care about?  What moves you?  What problems do you want to solve or issues you want to address?  If your heart is not in your work, you have a job but not a calling; 2.  Proficiency – Passion alone is not enough.  You have to be good at what you do.  Being good enough will not give you the satisfaction you desire.  You have to excel at your craft and be awesome.  Mastery is the goal; and 3.  Profitability – To enjoy a successful career, people must be willing to pay you for what you do.  You don’t have to get rich, but there must be a market for your product or service.  Otherwise, your career is not sustainable;
5052.  If you have passion and proficiency without profitability, you have a hobby;
5053.  If you have passion and profitability without proficiency, you have failure;
5054.  If you have proficiency and profitability without passion, you have boredom;
5055.  If you want to win with people, they not only have to know you; they also have to trust you.  Likability is the bridge between the two.  It’s a prerequisite to trust.  Why?  You’re not going to trust someone you don’t like;
5056.  Seven easy ways you can improve your likability quotient and up your trust with the people you meet and work with: 1.  Smile more.  Smiling is ground zero for likability.  It puts people at ease and draws them in.  It’s also contagious, so it lifts everyone’s mood.  Of course, the reverse is also true; 2.  Remember people’s names.  This isn’t easy for most of us.  And that’s all the more reason to try to improve. It sets you apart and gives you an edge.  Why?  People love being remembered and acknowledged by name; 3.  Look in people’s eyes.  Looking into people’s eyes communicates interest and worth.  When we connect eye-to-eye we demonstrate how much we value and appreciate the other person; 4.  Ask questions.  People love talking about themselves.  That’s important to know for two reasons.  First, it’s easy for leaders to monopolize conversations and alienate people.  Second, if you want to help people feel happy and engaged, giving them the freedom to talk about their own interests and projects is one of the easiest ways to do it.  That starts by asking great questions; 5.  Listen carefully.  It’s not enough to ask questions, you need to really listen.  We crave empathy and tend to like those who offer it to us; 6.  Be grateful.  If you want to make people feel as if their contribution really matters, take note and show gratitude.  When a teammate does something positive or helpful, recognize it.  When people feel valued by others, they usually respond in kind; and 7.  Celebrate milestones.  High achievers sometimes struggle with this last one.  Writing in Harvard Business Review, Teresa Amabile and Steven J. Kramer say this, “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.”  Leaders, they say, “have more influence than you may realize over employees’ well-being, motivation and creative output.”  When we celebrate our progress, we not only validate our work, we also improve the mood.  All seven of these ways share one thing in common.  They demonstrate value and appreciation and that’s the key to likability;
5057.  Even if you don’t consider yourself a good listener, anybody can develop this skill.  Try these five practices: 1.  Be fully present; 2.  See it from their perspective; 3.  Clarify and echo key points; 4.  Focus on them, not your response; and 5.  Develop genuine curiosity;
5058.  Whatever the game, it usually takes more than skill to prevail.  Believe it’s possible, believe you are uniquely equipped to succeed and stay focused on bringing home the win;
5059.  We cannot always control our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond.  The hard thing is that sometimes we forget we have a choice.  We feel like the choice has already been made for us and we’re stuck with it;
5060.  No one runs your life unless you let them.  And you have far more power than you think;
5061.  Until you take responsibility, you are a victim;
5062.  The great thing about responsibility is, once you own it, you can begin fixing it.  This eliminates a lot of wasted effort in playing the victim and blaming others;
5063.  It is also important for leaders to take responsibility for the good results they produce;
5064.  Acknowledge what happened.  You can’t move past a setback if you don’t;
5065.  Failure is not the end unless you quit;
5066.  Tickets on the (Washington) Capitals Ticket Exchange (TicketExchangeByTicketmaster.com/Washington-Capitals-Tickets) may be cheaper than (tickets on) StubHub!;
5067.  Debbie Matenopoulos is rather attractive;
5068.  (I can say) I’ve been to the National Christmas Tree Lighting;
5069.  The Hallmark Channel has some serious directing issues (at least for the National Christmas Tree Lighting);
5070.  (I can say) I’ve sang Christmas carols (specifically “Feliz Navidad” and “Jingle Bells”) with President Obama(, Marc Anthony, Garth Brooks, James Taylor, Trisha Yearwood, Kelly Clarkson, The Lumineers, Yolanda Adams, Chance the Rapper and Eva Longoria);
5071.  Braden Holtby (of the Washington Capitals) orders carryout at Virtue (Feed & Grain) (VirtueFeedAndGrain.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria;
5072.  Kristy has cold hands;
5073.  Apparently, 1 in 10 babies in Europe is conceived in a bed made by IKEA;
5074.  Who would’ve thought that bacon and chocolate actually work (well) together?
5075.  Hot chocolate with rye whiskey is actually pretty good;
5076.  According to Luisa, I give good back massages;
5077.  The amount of (acting) talent in “Love Actually” is (rather) staggering;
5078.  Apparently, Tove Lo’s idea of a bra is pink tape covering her nipples;
5079.  Tove Lo can sing;
5080.  Daya can sing too;
5081.  It’s (kind of) strange when your date won’t look you in the eye when she’s talking to you;
5082.  The single most important tool to being in balance is knowing that you and you alone are responsible for the imbalance between what you dream your life is meant to be and the daily habits that drain life from that dream.  You can create a new alignment with your mental energy and instruct the universe to send opportunities to correct this imbalance;
5083.  However absurd it may seem to others, if you want to restore the balance between your dreams and your habits, you need to make a shift in the energy that you’re contributing to your dreams.  If you’re out of balance, it’s primarily because you’ve energetically allowed your habits to define your life.  Those habits, and the consequences thereof, are the result of the energy you’ve given them;
5084.  You get what you think about, whether you want it or not.  Commit to thinking about what you want, rather than how impossible or difficult that dream may seem.  Give your personal dreams a place to hang out on the balance scale so that you can see them in your imagination and they can soak up the energy they deserve.  Thoughts are mental energy; they’re the currency that you have to attract what you desire.  You must learn to stop spending that currency on thoughts you don’t want, even though you may feel compelled to continue your habitual behavior.  Your body might continue, for a while, to stay where it’s been trained to be, but meanwhile, thoughts are being aligned with your dreams;
5085.  Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations.  I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead;
5086.  Your intention to feel successful and experience prosperity and abundance depends on what view you have of yourself, the universe and, most importantly, the field of intention from which success and abundance will come.  The way you look at life is essentially a barometer of your expectations, based on what you’ve been taught you’re worthy of and capable of achieving.  These expectations are largely imposed by external influences such as family, community and institutions, but they’re also influenced by that ever-present inner companion: your ego;
5087.  Your expectations are largely based on the beliefs of limitation, scarcity and pessimism about what’s possible for you.  If these beliefs are the basis for how you look at life then this perception of the world is what you expect for yourself.  Attracting abundance, prosperity and success from these limiting viewpoints is an impossibility;
5088.  Kristy is an I.N.T.J.;
5089.  Georgia is north of Turkey;
5090.  Apparently, they serve turkey in Georgia, but not in Turkey;
5091.  Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in determining your mood, energy level and sleep quality.  In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this blue light.  When your eyes are exposed to it directly, it halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel alert.  In the afternoon, the sun’s rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and this starts making you sleepy.  By the evening, your brain doesn’t expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it.  Most of our favorite evening devices – laptops, tablets and mobile phones – emit short-wavelength blue light brightly and right in our faces.  This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off;
5092.  If you can’t appreciate what you have now, you won’t be able to appreciate the “good life” if you ever get it;
5093.  You can edit a bad page, but you can’t edit a blank page;
5094.  I really like the Shepherd’s Pie at Ireland’s Four Courts (IrelandsFourCourts.com) in Arlington.  I think it’s (because of) the gravy;
5095.  Chicken has more flavor if you cook it with the skin on;
5096.  Reflection: 1.  What was awesome about this year?  List 3 awesome things that happened in each month of the year; 2.  Next questions are: A) What are you grateful for this year?  B) How did you feel about your life this year?  C) How do you want to feel in your life next year?  List as many things as you can in the gratitude department.  Reflect on how you felt about your life in 2016 without judgment.  Allow yourself those feelings.  No matter what they were, acknowledge and honor them.  Do a little meditation on how you want to feel in your life next year; 3.  Think about how you can apply the lessons you learned this year: A) What did you learn?  B) What could you have done to make this year better?  C) How can you build upon the lessons of this year to make next year rock?  Take your time with this process.  Reflection is not meant to be rushed.  Allow yourself to steep in the reflections for the last few weeks of this year.  Do some journaling on it.  Keep a notebook with you and jot things down as they come to mind; 4.  Finally, when you’ve done all that, say a little prayer of sorts.  Thank the universe for guiding you and helping your true potential to unfold.  Express your trust that everything is happening for your highest good and your belief that the universe has your back always and in all ways;
5097.  You won’t learn anything new if you think you know everything;
5098.  There are free performances every day at 6 o’clock (in the evening) at the Millennium Stage inside the Kennedy Center (Kennedy-Center.org/Video/Upcoming);
5099.  (George Frideric) Handel repeats a lot of lyrics in the “Messiah;”
5100.  The duck jerky at Left Door (LeftDoorDC.com) in D.C. is pretty tasty;

Monday, February 6, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0101

5001.  Don’t pester your friends with your problems.  That’s not productive advice-seeking; it’s pointless whining;
5002.  The plain truth is that most people don’t want workable advice from certified mentors, who will propel them to the next level.  They want commiseration, comfort, understanding and justification for why they’re stuck;
5003.  What many people really want when they solicit advice is not advice at all, but rather validation that they’re right;
5004.  We say we need help getting outside of our box, but what we really want is for people to crawl into our box, relate to us and share our pain.  The only people qualified and able to get you out of your box are those who refuse to crawl inside with you.  Friends will cozy up with you inside your box.  True mentors won’t;
5005.  People will solicit advice.  They won’t like what they hear because it clashes with their preconceived notions.  So they’ll justify not following it by labeling it “negative;”
5006.  Legitimate mentors will tell you things you don’t want to hear.  It will feel like they’re insensitive to your pain while they tear your dream apart.  But all they’re doing is revealing the same pitfalls they fell into along your same path;
5007.  Within minutes, the right mentor can analyze your situation and tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong and how to fix it.  They’re not being negative or insensitive; they’re being realistic from hard-earned experience;
5008.  Sometimes change isn’t comfortable and sometimes neither is growth, but you can’t get anywhere in life without taking action;
5009.  Financial risk is in the investor, not the investment.  Mitigate risk by increasing your knowledge;
5010.  A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose.  She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable.  Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way.  A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier.  Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity and openness.  Her desire is for his deepest truth and love.  As he grows, so will her testing;
5011.  Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.  The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so.  Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge;
5012.  It never ends.  This is the secret.  Finding a different woman won’t get you out of it.  Therapy won’t get you out of it.  Financial or sexual mastery won’t get you out of it.  Your woman is testing you because she loves you.  She wants to feel your truth.  She wants to feel your love.  And she wants to feel that your truth and love are stronger than the barbs she can throw at you.  Then she can relax and surrender into the polarity of man and woman.  Then she can trust you;
5013.  The most loving women are the women who will test you the most.  They want you to be your fullest, most magnificent self;
5014.  “Keeping your word” is a masculine trait in men or women.  A person with a feminine essence may not keep his/her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.”  In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship.  When she says, “I hate you,” “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well-considered stance with respect to events and experience.  On the other hand, the masculine means what it says.  A man’s word is his honor.  The feminine says what it feels.  A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment;
5015.  When you listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the ocean or the wind in the leaves.  The sounds you hear from her are sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy.  Of course, there are times when she speaks in the masculine style of meaning exactly what she says, but, more often and almost always in emotional moments, what she says is the sound of her feelings.  Her feminine speech is far more like poetry than like a clear cut agenda for action.  In an emotional moment, what she says she is going to do is actually an expression of what she feels like doing in the moment.  Her feelings and, therefore, what she is actually going to do, could change in five minutes.  It could change every five minutes;
5016.  The basic rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it.  And even then, know that she is probably talking about her current feelings not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talking about.  Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it.  And then expect her to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change.  Remember that a woman’s feelings may be more sensitive to an unseen realm of nature than are yours.  Try to differentiate between your woman’s shifting moods and her sensitive wisdom;
5017.  Women are not liars although they often seem that way to men.  This is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own decisions based on the deepest truth he can fathom.  Otherwise, if he bends his course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing expressions, he will probably end up blaming her;
5018.  You should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth carefully.  Then, after you have fully considered her input, make your best possible decision from your own deep core.  This way, if your woman subsequently changes her mind, you won’t resent her for compromising your path;
5019.  When you get a letter from the I.R.S., first notice the color of the envelope.  If it’s brown, fear not, the I.R.S. has sent you a check, but if it’s white, you may be the subject of an audit;
5020.  How to handle an audit: 1.  Never talk to the I.R.S. yourself, let your C.P.A. do it; 2.  Don’t give any more information than the I.R.S. requires; and 3.  Be nice to your I.R.S. auditor;
5021.  There are two perceptive realities: one based on fear and one based on love.  They are both real, in a way, because they shape how we experience the world, but we get to choose;
5022.  Nothing’s going to happen for you if you just sit around waiting for something to happen.  Action has to be taken.  But not all actions are created equal.  Not all actions are the right actions.  It’s a matter of taking action that’s in alignment with your core values and beliefs;
5023.  Dark times are not always a bad thing.  They might suck at the time and they sure are painful to go through, but they can lead us to face uncomfortable truths about our lives that we often are unwilling to look at when things are just chugging along.  The truth remains unconscious until the pain of denial becomes stronger than the pain of facing up to it;
5024.  We tend to think of our lives as dull or small when we don’t love our lives the way they are and we feel like there’s something more exciting we could be doing with them, but often what we’re doing, when we feel like this, is we’re comparing our current reality to our dream reality;
5025.  No matter how much craziness is going on in your life, in society, on social media, in the news, you can choose peace instead of that.  It doesn’t mean that you can necessarily change what’s happening, but you can accept what is.  It doesn’t mean that you necessarily like it, but you can accept that it is what it is right now.  That’s the fact of the matter.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that you will do nothing about it moving forward, but you have to acknowledge, understand and accept what is, accept the fact that things are the way they are, before you can move forward in a meaningful way;
5026.  Do not be discouraged by your inability to dispel darkness from the world.  Light your little candle and step forward;
5027.  Remember that chemistry is inherently personal.  Even if you think she is the hottest thing since Adam and Eve that doesn’t mean that she has a crazy dating life or even gets hit on a lot.  In fact, if you’re talking to her and you actually have real chemistry, she probably feels exactly the same way about you;
5028.  Recognize that the desire to do something “special” comes from the belief that you are not enough by yourself(, but you are enough);
5029.  The most successful entrepreneurs put no time or energy into stressing about their failures as they see failure as a small and necessary step in the process of reaching their goals;
5030.  My (maternal) grandfather was editor-in-chief of the second largest newspaper in Kowloon and (in) Hong Kong;
5031.  My (maternal) grandfather died in a(n America) bombing raid three months before the end of World War II.  My mom was two and a half (years old) at the time;
5032.  My (maternal) grandmother was born in 1918;
5033.  My (maternal) grandmother was under 18 when she married my grandfather;
5034.  Positive emotions like gratitude help us become more resilient;
5035.  Gratitude keeps us hopeful;
5036.  Gratitude expands our possible responses.  Gratitude moves us into a place of abundance, a place where we’re more resourceful, creative, generous, optimistic and kind.  When we’re operating from a place of scarcity, it tends to make us reactionary, close-minded, tight-fisted, gloomy and even mean;
5037.  Positive emotions, say researchers, “broaden one’s thought-action repertoire, expanding the range of cognitions and behaviors that come to mind.  These broadened mindsets, in turn, build an individual’s physical, intellectual and social resources.”  In other words, they make us more resilient;
5038.  One of the challenges in reaching our long-term goals is getting derailed by short-term gains.  These are decisions that look good in the moment; instant gratification usually does.  But they actually prevent us from making progress or even set us back;
5039.  Gratitude keeps you going.  In one study researchers, Robert A. Emmons and Anjali Mishra, had students list goals they hoped to reach over a two month period.  Ten weeks later they checked back and found the grateful students were closer than others in the study to reaching their goals;
5040.  Gratitude improves your patience.  A lot of times we take the easy out because we’re impatient.  Achieving big goals takes time and effort.  Thankfully, gratitude can keep you in the game;
5041.  Gratitude lowers your stress;
5042.  The seven steps to thinking big: 1.  Imagine the possibilities.  Give yourself permission to dream; 2.  Write down your dream.  This is the act that transforms a dream into a goal.  Amazing things happen when you commit something to writing.  Writing down your goals forces you to clarify what you want, motivates you to take action, helps you overcome resistance and gives you a way to objectively measure your success; 3.  Connect with what is at stake.  This is your rationale.  Unfortunately, it is a crucial step that people often omit.  Before you can find your way, you must discover your why.  Why is this goal important to you?  What will achieving it make possible?  What is at stake if you don’t?  What will you lose?  Your rationale provides the intellectual and emotional power to keep going when the path becomes difficult (which it will); 4.  Outline what would have to be true.  Rather than merely asking how to get from where you are to where you want to go, ask what would have to be true for your dream to become a reality.  Start with the dream and work backwards.  It’s the same for any goal; 5.  Decide what you can do to affect the outcome.  This is where you transition from the big picture to daily actions.  This is where people often get derailed.  They can’t see all the steps that will take them to their goal.  So rather than doing something, they do nothing.  You will never see the full path.  The important thing is to do the next right thing.  What can you do today to move you toward your dream? 6.  Determine when this will happen.  Someone once said that a goal is simply a dream with a deadline.  A deadline is one way to make the dream more concrete, which is exactly what thinking big is about.  A deadline also creates a sense of urgency that will motivate you to take action.  Force yourself to assign a “by when” date to every goal.  (If you get stuck, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t hit this?”); and 7.  Review your goals daily;
5043.  You ought to be glad for the troubles on your job because they provide about half your income.  If it were not for the things that go wrong, the difficult people with whom you deal and the problems of your working day, someone could be found to handle your job for half of what you are being paid.  So start looking for more troubles.  Learn to handle them cheerfully and with good judgment, as opportunities rather than irritations, and you will find yourself getting ahead at a surprising rate.  There are plenty of big jobs waiting for people who are not afraid of troubles;
5044.  Problems can signal existing success.  Most of us accept the fact that failure brings problems, but sometimes we are surprised that success does too.  Achieving success doesn’t mean our problems disappear.  It means we get different challenges that correlate to our achievements.  There’s usually a link between the complexity of our challenges and the level of our responsibility.  Chances are good the bigger your problems, the greater success you have and are already experiencing;
5045.  Problems spur greater success.  Solving problems stretches us personally and professionally.  Without problems, there aren’t opportunities.  And without opportunities, we can’t grow, be given more responsibility or make more money.  In fact, if you ever find yourself in a job without problems, you should immediately start looking for another one.  It’s a sure sign you’re stuck;
5046.  Problems engender confidence.  This is one of the key reasons Navy SEALs endure the most grueling training imaginable.  “You can’t learn the confidence adversity teaches you in a classroom or from a book,” SEAL Alden Mills says, “You learn it from experience.”  Only when we see ourselves overcoming problems do we gain the confidence to know we can do it again;
5047.  Problems expand our understanding.  When we’ve faced challenges, we know what it’s like.  And we can apply that knowledge to others, a critical skill for leaders to develop.  A leader who’s overcome significant problems will know what s/he can expect from her/his team.  And s/he’ll know how to help them reach their goals;
5048.  Fears are almost always based on unknowns, when we become familiar with our fears, it often kills them;
5049.  Apparently, (unopened) cans of “Red Bull” will explode after 12 years or so;
5050.  Anger can be healthy, if it’s directed in the right way.  The most helpful way to direct your anger is to use it as motivation to find a solution.  This is the most peaceful, helpful, productive way to use your anger.  The least helpful way to use your anger is to direct it into an unproductive loop of blame, complain and demean;