Monday, March 19, 2018

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0129

6401.  I place no limits and no restrictions on all that I intend to accomplish and become from here on in;
6402.  Whenever you’re experiencing discomfort or sadness, rather than trying to change the thought behind your emotional state, instead just put it back onto the never-ending conveyor belt of thoughts and then select a different thought.  Keep doing this until you’ve selected a thought that allows you to feel good and you’re no longer condemning yourself for creating unhappy thoughts;
6403.  Mood and sleep use the same neurotransmitters.  That makes it very hard to tell if someone has sleep loss or depression.  Other nasty effects of short-term sleep deprivation include memory impairment, mood swings, dullness, fatigue and even hallucinations.  Sleep time is the time when you recover from the stresses of life.  Take that away and the brain and body suffer a little more every day;
6404.  Bigger isn’t always better.  Better is better;
6405.  You can’t have what other people have if you aren’t willing to do what they do;
6406.  You don’t always need to grow your business to get what you really want;
6407.  If you’ve felt the pressure to build something big to do what you really want to do, remember these words: you don’t have to do this.  You can create the life you want without playing somebody else’s game.  So go play your own;
6408.  Purposeful celebration brings an energy to your team and that energy will directly impact the performance they deliver.  It feels good to be acknowledged.  And it doesn’t take much.  Sometimes it’s just a pat on the back or thumbs up from the right person at the right time;
6409.  Because of the way our brains work, goal sharing often gives us the same psychological satisfaction of accomplishing the goal without having to do the hard work.  In other words, talking becomes a substitute for doing;
6410.  Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University in California, conducted her own goal-setting study with 267 participants.  She found that you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down;
6411.  There is a place for sharing our goals after all.  Participants, who sent their commitments to a friend, accomplished significantly more than those who didn’t and those who followed up with weekly progress reports to their friends did even better.  So don’t set goals and tell everyone.  Instead, tell those people who need to know and can provide the support and accountability you need to get results;
6412.  The food at the Silver Diner (SilverDiner.com) is (actually) pretty good . . . and they don’t just serve diner food;
6413.  As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know.  We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.  But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know;
6414.  Having a lot of (throw) pillows and blankets (on your couch) can come in handy;
6415.  (Bath)tub . . . check;
6416.  Social media can become like an echo chamber, where we only choose to listen to the views of people who think the same way we do, and unfriend those who don’t.  We can become a slave to that limited way of thinking with our minds slowly narrowing and closing down without us even noticing.  When our thinking becomes narrow, we don’t see as many opportunities.  And that can block our abundance;
6417.  Social media can also become an addiction, where we know that we’re frittering away time that could be spent far more productively, but somehow we can’t help ourselves.  Being unproductive can block our abundance too;
6418.  A comprehensive Harvard study by researchers Holly Shakya and Nicholas Christakis has shown that increased Facebook usage is associated with lower physical health, mental health and life satisfaction.  “Overall, our results showed that, while real-world social networks were positively associated with overall well-being, the use of Facebook was negatively associated with overall well-being.  These results were particularly strong for mental health; most measures of Facebook use in one year predicted a decrease in mental health in a later year.  We found consistently that both liking others’ content and clicking links significantly predicted a subsequent reduction in self-reported physical health, mental health and life satisfaction;”
6419.  When something bad happens to you, you can’t let your grieving period last too long.  There’s just too much great stuff out there in the world waiting for you;
6420.  You shouldn’t use oil-based lube with (latex) condoms and you shouldn’t use silicone-based lube with silicone toys;
6421.  When thinking about life, remember this: No amount of guilt can solve the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future;
6422.  You’ve got to work on yourself day by day.  You’ve got to remember that your entire life is a work in progress.  That you’re going to have bad days, but also good ones to balance everything out.  You’ve got to know that sometimes you’re going to get your heart broken, while other times, you’re the one who’s going to be breaking someone else’s.  You’ve got to accept that nothing ever goes as planned and that nothing is perfect.  You’ve got to realize that what you feel is never wrong and that you must always trust your intuition, but also accept the consequences of things.  You’ve got to know that it’s never too late to be where you want to be, to become who you want to become, to feel what you want to feel and to love the way you want to be loved: both freely and without discrimination.  You’ve got to believe in this, live by this and listen to your voice when you have to, in all shapes and forms.  You’ve got to empower every human you love and empower yourself to do good.  Be good and let everything that brings the light closer to you and everything that brings you peace in;
6423.  Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience.  Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet.  Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion.  Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back.  Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love.  Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear.  Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go;
6424.  5 things not to do in the morning: 1.  Think negative thoughts; 2.  Immediately think about what could go wrong with the things you have to do for the day; 3.  Start your morning without a purpose; 4.  Forget to be grateful; and 5.  Ignore your inspired actions;
6425.  5 things to do in the morning: 1.  Always look for a better feeling thought.  Become a vibrational match to the things you want to attract into your life; 2.  Close your eyes for a few minutes every morning and visualize your day going exactly the way you want it to go; 3.  After visualizing your day, visualize your bigger, long-term goals coming true and take a few moments to say your affirmations that describe your goals in their already completed state (e.g., “I am celebrating feeling light and alive in my perfect body weighing 135.”); 4.  Remember to be grateful.  Take a few moments to write down what you’re grateful for; and 5.  If you get an inspiration to do something, act on it immediately;
6426.  Here is a list of 18 of the most commonly used excuses and an affirmation for each.  The affirmations will assist you in making a conscious effort to encourage yourself to elevate your beliefs: 1.  It will be difficult: I have the ability to accomplish any task I set my mind to with ease and comfort; 2.  It’s going to be risky: Being myself involves no risks.  It is my ultimate truth and I live it fearlessly; 3.  It will take a long time: I have infinite patience when it comes to fulfilling my destiny; 4.  There will be family drama: I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not; 5.  I don’t deserve it: I am a Divine creation, a piece of God.  Therefore, I cannot be undeserving; 6.  It’s not my nature: My essential nature is perfect and faultless.  It is to this nature that I return; 7.  I can’t afford it: I am connected to an unlimited source of abundance; 8.  No one will help me: The right circumstances and the right people are already here and will show up on time; 9.  It has never happened before: I am willing to attract all that I desire beginning here and now; 10.  I’m not strong enough: I have access to unlimited assistance.  My strength comes from my connection to my Source of being; 11.  I’m not smart enough: I am a creation of the Divine mind; all is perfect and I am a genius in my own right; 12.  I’m too old (or not old enough): I am an infinite being.  The age of my body has no bearing on what I do or who I am; 13.  The rules won’t let me: I live my life according to Divine rules; 14.  It’s too big: I think only about what I can do now.  By thinking small, I accomplish great things; 15.  I don’t have the energy: I feel passionately about my life and this passion fills me with excitement and energy; 16.  It’s my personal family history: I live in the present moment by being grateful for all of my life experiences as a child; 17.  I’m too busy: As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul; and 18.  I’m too scared: I can accomplish anything I put my mind to because I know that I am never alone;
6427.  Clean up your messes.  When you live in a state of mental and physical clutter, it’s likely that you won’t be very productive.  Incomplete projects, unfinished business and piles of cluttered messes can weigh you down and take away from the energy you have to move forward toward your goals.  When you don’t complete tasks, you can’t be fully prepared to move into the present let alone into your new future.  What this means is that in order to be productive, you must complete any unfinished business or tasks that have been holding you back;
6428.  Focus!  The most successful people create entire days dedicated to focusing.  A “focus day” is a day in which you spend at least 80% of your time operating in your core genius or primary area of expertise, interacting with people or processes that give you the highest payoffs for the time you invest.  To be successful, you must schedule more “focus days” and hold yourself accountable for producing the results.  The more you focus on your highest payoff activities, the more productive you’ll be;
6429.  Learn how to say “no.”  If you are going to increase your results and your income as well as increase the amount of free time in your life, you are going to have to eliminate those activities, requests and other time-stealers that don’t have a high payoff.  You will have to structure your work so that you are focusing your time, effort, energies and resources only on projects, opportunities and people that give you a huge reward for your efforts.  You are going to have to create strong boundaries about what you will and won’t do;
6430.  Practice the “rule of 5.”  The “rule of 5” simply means that every day, you must do five specific things to move your most important goal toward completion.  By committing to take meaningful daily actions to achieve your goals, you will accomplish more than you thought possible in a surprisingly short amount of time;
6431.  Meditation is very important when it comes to productivity.  Through meditation, you can do many things better.  When your mind is clear, you make better decisions, you’ll be able to focus on your most pressing issues, you’re more creative, you have much greater awareness of the world around you and you ultimately get more done;
6432.  If there is something to gain by asking and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask;
6433.  “No’s” are just part of the journey on your way to finally getting a “yes.”  It only takes one “yes” to radically change your life forever;
6434.  Don’t get discouraged when you get a “no.”  Just keep asking.  You have to accept that you may get a lot of “no’s” on the way to a “yes;”
6435.  Ask as though you expect to get it.  Make your request with confidence and a full expectation that your wish will be granted;
6436.  Assume you can.  Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get what you want.  Adopt the attitude that all you need to get what you want is to speak up and say that you want it;
6437.  Ask someone who can give it to you.  If you want a “yes,” there’s no sense asking a person who is incapable of fulfilling your request.  Qualify the person you are talking to before asking;
6438.  Be specific.  Vague requests produce vague results.  Be clear about exactly what you want to ensure you get it.  Don’t ask for a raise.  Ask for $5,000.00 more a year;
6439.  Ask repeatedly.  Persistence is a key principle of success.  Some people will say “no” to your requests.  Your job is to keep asking until you get a “yes;”
6440.  (Ricard) Wagner (the German composer) was anti-Semitic;
6441.  My (paternal) grandfather was born in 1918;
6442.  The (Peking) duck at Peking Gourmet Inn (PekingGourmet.com) in Falls Church, Virginia, is (very) lean and (almost fall off the bone) tender;
6443.  Apparently, multiple erections during (one) sex (session) isn’t very common;
6444.  Apparently, size doesn’t factor into the number of erections;
6445.  I don’t get/understand toe sucking;
6446.  I like getting my inner thigh kissed;
6447.  (I can say) I’ve been slapped . . . by a guy . . . (just) weird;
6448.  “Pollo a la brasa” (in Spanish) means “grilled chicken;
6449.  “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
6450.  Success requires the drive and support to face challenges, learn from our mistakes and continue to face challenges of increasing difficulty.  As recently highlighted in How Our Partners Empower Our Personal Growth, people with supportive partners are substantially more likely to take on challenges;

Monday, March 5, 2018

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0128

6351.  There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy;
6352.  Apparently, Christmas lied about coming 4 times. . . . Christmas is a liar. . . . Christmas is a faker;
6353.  Raw dog . . . check;
6354.  Apparently, I have a nice butt;
6355.  Apparently, you can’t come on Molly . . . good to know;
6356.  A woman’s favorite spot to be kissed, other than the mouth, is the neck;
6357.  Ninety-six percent of women reported that they like neck kisses, while only about 10% of men do;
6358.  Normally two people in conversation give each other eye contact anywhere from 30-60% of the time, but couples, who are in love, look at each other 75% of the time during conversation and are slower to break their look away from each other when interrupted;
6359.  6 ways to make someone fall in love with you: 1.  Dim the lights; 2.  Wear red; 3.  Share secrets; 4.  Girls, chin down.  Guys, chin up; 5.  Lots of eye contact; and 6.  Exciting beats pleasant;
6360.  Describing his findings in an article entitled “Deviance in the Dark,” Ken and Mary Gergen noted that when the lights were on, none of the participants purposefully touched or hugged one another and that 30 percent of them felt sexually aroused.  When the group was plunged into darkness, the situation was very different.  Now, almost 90 percent of them touched one another on purpose, 50 percent hugged and 80 percent were sexually aroused.  In addition, the people, who were in the dark room, were far more likely to start talking about important events in their lives and find one another attractive.  Gergen’s footage revealed that a few of the participants even started stroking one another’s faces and kissing.  Simply by finding themselves in the sort of situation that lovers enjoy, people quickly started to behave as if they had been struck by Cupid’s arrow and so found one another more attractive;
6361.  Women perceive men to be more attractive and sexually desirable, when seen on a red background and in red clothing and that status perceptions are responsible for this effect;
6362.  Tilting female faces upwards decreased their perceived femininity and attractiveness, whereas tilting them downwards increased their perceived femininity and attractiveness.  Male faces tilted up were judged to be more masculine and tilted down judged to be less masculine;
6363.  In two studies, subjects induced to exchange a mutual unbroken gaze for 2 minutes with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other;
6364.  Couples, who spend time engaging in exciting activities (such as skiing, hiking, dancing or going to concerts), were significantly happier with their relationships than those, who had been encouraged to carry out pleasant activities (such as going to the movies, eating out or visiting friends).  The key to long-term love involves people avoiding the lure of the familiar and instead inviting excitement into their lives.  By acting as if they are out on an exhilarating date, couples can turn back the hands of time and easily recreate that loving feeling;
6365.  All work is not created equal.  Shallow work is little stuff like e-mail, meetings, moving information around, etc.  Things that are not really using your talents.  Deep work pushes your current abilities to their limits.  It produces high value results and improves your skills;
6366.  People, who are the busiest, often are getting a lot less done of significance than the people who are able to stop by 5:00 PM every day.  The whole reason they need to work at night and on the weekends is because their work life has become full of just shallows.  They’re responding to messages, moving information around and being a human network router.  These things are very time consuming and very low value;
6367.  Nobody in the history of the universe ever became CEO because they responded to more e-mail or went to more meetings;
6368.  Shallow work stops you from getting fired, but deep work is what gets you promoted;
6369.  Whenever possible, do not check e-mail for the first hour or two of the day.  You might need to get into your e-mail to finish 100% of your most important to-dos.  But can you get 80 or 90% done before you go into Gmail and have your rat brain explode with freak-out, dopamine excitement and cortisol panic;
6370.  There’s a whole new meaning to getting a foot massage.  Just ask Elizabeth;
6371.  Elizabeth likes her steaks medium-rare;
6372.  Elizabeth really likes wasabi;
6373.  “Soixante-neuf” . . . check;
6374.  Apparently, some women like to taste themselves after coming;
6375.  Super Bowl . . . check . . . internal . . . (double) check;
6376.  The most important thing to do with anyone you meet is to seek their thoughts and opinions without judging them.  Ask questions.  Listen.  But don’t judge.  Nobody (including yourself) likes to feel judged;
6377.  Studies show people get more pleasure from talking about themselves than they do from food or money;
6378.  Suspend your ego to get people to like you.  Most of us are just dying to point out how other people are wrong.  It kills rapport.  If you want to correct someone?  If you want to one-up them.  Don’t do it;
6379.  Ego suspension is putting your own needs, wants and opinions aside.  Consciously ignore your desire to be correct and to correct someone else.  It’s not allowing yourself to get emotionally hijacked by a situation where you might not agree with someone’s thoughts, opinions or actions;
6380.  When people hear things that contradict their beliefs, the logical part of their mind shuts down and their brain prepares to fight;
6381.  Be a good listener.  Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what they’re saying right now.  Be curious and ask to hear more about what interests you;
6382.  Research shows just asking people to tell you more makes you more likeable and gets them to want to help you;
6383.  The basics of active listening are: 1.  Listen to what they say.  Don’t interrupt, disagree or evaluate; 2.  Nod your head and make brief acknowledging comments like “yes” and “uh-huh;” 3.  Without being awkward, repeat back the gist of what they just said from their frame of reference; and 4.  Inquire.  Ask questions that show you’ve been paying attention and that move the discussion forward;
6384.  Research shows just asking people “If now is a good time?” makes them more likely to comply with requests;
6385.  “Netflix and chill” . . . check . . . sofa bed . . . (double) check;
6386.  Elizabeth likes chocolate cake;
6387.  Handcuffs . . . check . . . butt plug . . . (double) check . . . Valentine’s Day . . . (triple) check;
6388.  Apparently, Elizabeth’s sister is married to the drummer of (the band,) “Beirut;”
6389.  Elizabeth's favorite cookie is chocolate chip;
6390.  There are people (who are) allergic to onions . . . which is awful/horrible for them because it’s used in (almost) everything for flavor;
6391.  I like having my back kissed;
6392.  “Millennial pink” is a thing;
6393.  There is a lot of emotion around the area of our lives that we call relationships and the reason for all that emotion is because we tend to make relationships life and death.  We do that because whenever we enter into a relationship we come face-to-face with our deepest fears;
6394.  Our partners, intimate and familial, our dearest friends, our kids and our parents, those for whom we care most deeply, are the most vivid mirrors life has to offer.  Relationships reflect back to us our conditioning, driving needs and our belief systems;
6395.  You can solve anything with the ones you love if you drop the charge of blame.  Every relationship offers us the opportunity to learn something, including the things that make us angry, frustrated or afraid.  Those upsets aren’t coming from our partners, they’re coming from our conditioning, past impressions and our models of the world, including the models we don’t even like;
6396.  From those models of the world come all of the expectations we hold of ourselves and our partners.  The upsets come from our own rules and expectations and the stories of blame we tell;
6397.  If you knew today was your last day on earth, what would you communicate to your beloved ones?  How would you love?  What stories would you let go of?  If you had the luxury of knowing it was the very last time you would see them, what wouldn’t be worth the upset anymore?
6398.  Wouldn’t all the upsets you have with the ones you love disappear if you knew this was the last moment you’d ever have with them?  The hurt comes from the love we force our heart to withhold.  The pain comes from punishing our partners.  That’s not love.  A relationship is a place we go to give something, not a place we go to get our needs met;
6399.  Decide how you will show up.  Who are you willing to become for the ones you love.  What state would you be in if this was the last moment you had together?
6400.  I have a burning desire, an inner flame that will not be extinguished by outer forces, to know and live from higher regions, to be transformed so that my new concept of myself will no longer include any limitations.  I am willing to challenge and change any thoughts that impede my having a higher vision of myself;