11101. The Peruvian (rotisserie) chicken at “Chicken
+ Whiskey” is good, but I still like the chicken at Nando’s Peri-Peri more;
11102. The Trader Joe’s raisin
rosemary crisps are so good. I ate the
whole box in a day;
11103. Apparently, you can make
oat flour by putting whole oats in a blender or a food processor;
11104. Emily Haines (the lead
singer of “Metric”) has nice legs;
11105. (Surprisingly, )Emily
Haines is 49. . . . She was born on January 25th, 1974;
11106. A conversation without
reactions from the other party is like a movie without background music. At first, things seem fine, but you quickly
notice that it feels empty and something is missing. You feel as if you’re speaking to a wall you
can’t read and one that you’re not even sure is listening to what you are
saying. You’re not sure what to feel and
how to proceed because there are no cues given;
11107. Reactions show people
that you are more than just physically present; you are emotionally and
intellectually present;
11108. If you match the energy
of the person you’re talking to, you’ll also make them feel like you understand
them better than you actually do;
11109. As with many things,
reactions have a cumulative effect. If
during a 5-minute conversation, the other person does not react to 1 or 2
statements you make, you might not notice.
But suppose that person doesn’t respond 10 times in a row to something
you’ve said? Wouldn’t you start to feel
anxious, as if you’ve said the wrong thing and they are punishing you with their
complete lack of reaction?
11110. There are a few different
levels to reactions that make it clear you are listening and present. You don’t have to be an expert at reacting or
make a big show of it; you just need to let the other person know you’re
engaged;
11111. The first element is to
make sure you react with the appropriate emotion;
11112. The easiest way to make
sure you react appropriately to a story, statement or question is to take a
step back and ask yourself, “What is the primary emotion being shared here?”
and then give that back to them;
11113. Keep in mind that the
intensity of your emotion matters as well;
11114. As such, once you
recognize the emotion they’re looking for, take care to also return it in equal
measure as they expressed it to you;
11115. Here’s a tip: the vast
majority of emotions people share and want reciprocal, congruent reactions to
are: joy, annoyance, anger, sadness and humor.
Note that 3 out of 5 are negative;
11116. When your responses
accurately fit what the other person is saying (and feeling), it tells them you
understand them – that you can walk a mile in their shoes. You create a lot of subconscious comfort when
you react in a way that accurately corresponds to their feelings;
11117. To reinforce such expression
of understanding to the person you’re talking with, take it up a notch by also
mimicking their facial expression and gestures;
11118. The second way to make
your reactions great is to react just a little slower than you think you
should;
11119. If you are stone-faced
and unreactive, people fell as if they are speaking to a wall. But reacting too quickly can impart a similar
frustration;
11120. If you react too quickly,
no matter your reasons for doing so, it make you look dismissive;
11121. When you react too
quickly, it also makes people feel rushed;
11122. If you have a problem
with reacting too quickly or overreacting, try the 2-second rule. Wait 2 seconds after the person is done
speaking before you say anything. It
makes it look as if you are processing and considering what they’ve just
said. Moreover, people are likely to
perceive you as smarter if you take a few moments to respond;
11123. Noel Gallagher (from the
band, “Oasis”,) is crotchety;
11124. When you’re ordering food
at “Jimmy John’s,” get your sandwich with French bread. You get more food than if you ordered it with
thick-sliced wheat;
11125. Always have these double
explanations prepared (i.e., 1. a short,
witty, layman’s response; and 2. a more
detailed, expert’s response). Lead with
a layman’s explanation because these make you look interesting and prevent you
from missing a chance to make an impression.
They make you appear witty and they open the conversation to deeper
levels of engagement. However, ensure
that your responses do not seem rehearsed.
It can be fairly easy to spot someone who is mechanically repeating
lines they’re rote learned so pause for a moment or 2 before replying;
11126. Once you know the
conversation won’t remain superficial, you can unleash your expert explanation
on people to create engagement and immediately capitalize on a common
interest);
11127. Compliments can help your
conversations last longer and make you the object of someone’s attention and
affection. The trick is you need to know
how to use them properly;
11128. I can say I’ve been to an
MLS All-Star Skills Challenge;
11129. I can say I’ve seen
Arsenal F.C. (from the Premier League) play/practice;
11130. Compliments from someone
who gives them out easily and frequently have little value. However, if you’re perceived as the kind of
person who compliments or appreciates things only when s/he genuinely sees
value in them, your words will carry much more meaning;
11131. People like to feel
validated and appreciated. Paying
compliments can go a long way in producing these feelings;
11132. In conversations,
compliments create an air of positivity, which can boost the overall level of
comfort people have with you;
11133. When somebody says
something positive to you, your brain produces neurotransmitters that are
associated with a sense of well-being and happiness;
11134. If one of your friends
constantly compliments you and never fails to make you feel better about
yourself, you probably start looking forward to seeing that person;
11135. What has actually
happened is that your brain has paired this friend with the positive feeling of
being complimented, thus creating an automatic reaction of feeling good every
time you’re with that person.
Eventually, this positive conditioning becomes somewhat addictive;
11136. If you come across people
that are predictably negative and put you in a bad place mentally and
emotionally, your tendency is to run away from them;
11137. You don’t get what you
want by wanting it. You get it by
becoming it in your mind before you become it in reality. Reality follows energy;
11138. Accept what is. Let go of what was. Believe in what will be;
11139. I can say I’ve taken a
road trip to Montreal;
11140. Most of the buildings in
Montreal are brick;
11141. Most of the apartments in
Montreal have balconies;
11142. There are Wal-Marts in
Montreal;
11143. There are not a lot of
Starbucks in Montreal;
11144. They have very steep
(entrance) staircases in Montreal;
11145. Montreal has a lot of
public parks;
11146. You may want to have a
deeper relationship with someone, for example, your father, but, at this point,
he’s set in his ways and probably won’t change. . . . And that’s okay;
11147. Apparently, I had a lot
of repressed/suppressed anger/hatred against/towards God;
11148. Apparently, I had a lot
of repressed/suppressed anger/hatred against/towards an old girlfriend;
11149. The left side of the body
is regarded as the feminine side and represents(, among other things,) the
mother. It’s also the channel of our
past emotions and memories;
11150. According to Igor, I have
a calming energy about me;
