What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0211

10501.  One of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in life is who you have children with.  Choose wisely;
10502.  When playing games with children, let them win;
10503.  You don’t have to learn everything the hard way;
10504.  One day you’ll need to be forgiven so learn to forgive others;
10505.  Instead of buying your children what you didn’t have, teach them what you didn’t know;
10506.  Never let your inner child die;
10507.  If you care too much about what other people think, you’re effectively their slave;
10508.  Be so busy improving your life that you don’t have time to criticize others;
10509.  Everyone you love will eventually die, spend your time with your loved ones; keep them close;
10510.  No one is a mind reader, voice how you feel;
10511.  Never feel bad about promoting yourself;
10512.  Hang out with people from different races, ethnicities and socio-economic classes;
10513.  Listen to understand not to respond;
10514.  You can’t pour from an empty cup.  Take care of yourself first;
10515.  Spending time alone is one of the best things you can do;
10516.  Remember that 80% of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people;
10517.  Compliment the meal when you’re the guest in someone’s home;
10518.  Show respect for everyone who works for a living regardless of how trivial their job;
10519.  The “Club 24” (Championship) Boxes at Nationals Park are nice.  The seats include food options from a high-end restaurant prepared by a chef and dedicated wait staff;
10520.  (I can say) I’ve sat in the “Club 24” (Championship) Boxes at Nationals Park;
10521.  Apparently, the “Club 24” (Championship) Boxes and the “K Street” (Championship) Boxes are the 2 most exclusive clubs at Nationals Park;
10522.  The 1924 Washington Senators won (Washington) D.C.’s first World Series championship;
10523.  The honey ham biscuits (i.e., mini, buttermilk biscuits with smoked Virginia ham) at the Lightfoot Restaurant (LightfootRestaurant.com) in Leesburg, Virginia, are tasty;
10524.  The berry salad (i.e., greens tossed with balsamic vinaigrette set with blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, spiced cashews & balsamic glaze) (with grilled shrimp) at the Lightfoot Restaurant (in Leesburg, Virginia,) is tasty too;
10525.  Strangely, life gets harder when you try to make it easy;
10526.  Exercising might be hard, but never moving makes life harder;
10527.  Uncomfortable conversations are hard, but avoiding every conflict is harder;
10528.  Mastering your craft is hard, but having no skills is harder;
10529.  Easy has a cost;
10530.  The berry Chantilly cake at Whole Foods (Market) is tasty;
10531.  Jean Louisa Kelly (the actress) (kind of) looks like Robbie;
10532.  Primus is a jam band. . . . Who knew?
10533.  Les Claypool is a self-proclaimed Rush (i.e., Canadian rock band) geek;
10534.  Les Claypool went to (high) school and is friends with Kirk Hammett (the lead guitarist of Metallica);
10535.  Les Claypool auditioned to be the bassist for Metallica;
10536.  Broccoli shrinks a lot when you roast it (in the oven);
10537.  Despite what most mainstream therapists claim, couples with “open marriages” generally rate their overall satisfaction (with both their relationship and with life in general) significantly higher than those in conventional marriages do;
10538.  Many people have sex outside their primary relationships for reasons that have nothing to do with any inadequacy in their partner or in the relationship;
10539.  Charlie (Dog) likes (roasted) peanuts . . . shocker, he loves peanut butter;
10540.  Not everyone handles grief the same way;
10541.  Many men report that they had affairs simply because opportunities arose while women, for whom opportunities are often more plentiful, tend to report a more complex confluence of motivations;
10542.  When Shirley Glass and Thomas White anonymously interviewed 300 men and women about their extramarital affairs, they found that men tended to see their affairs as more sexual while women were motivated more by emotional considerations and reported greater levels of dissatisfaction with their marriages;
10543.  I’m glad to have Rob(ert) Roebuck as a friend. . . . I should’ve seen/texted/visited him more when I had the chance;

10544.  If you want to lose weight, get Invisalign.  They’re so annoying/difficult to put in and take out and you have to brush and floss after eating that it’s just not worth snacking;

10545.  Apparently, Ajay is immune to mushrooms;

10546.  If you want to get COVID(-19), stand in line to get into a Dave Matthews Band concert (at Jiffy Lube Live in Bristow, Virginia) without wearing a mask . . . stupid;

10547.  If you’re out of milk for your cereal, coffee will work;

10548.  Post-COVID lethargy is a real thing;

10549.  Charlie (Dog) likes doughnuts (in particularly Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts);

10550.  Guac(amole) on a (ham)burger is pretty good;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0210

10451.  We can tap into the unconscious processes that help us connect with our innovative ideas and solve problems more efficiently simply by decreasing visual input;
10452.  Neuroscience researchers find that daydreamers actually score higher on creativity scales;
10453.  For best results, approach your daydreaming session with intention: You must be able to notice when you are in this state and pull yourself out at will.  This requires some practice;
10454.  Psychologists Joey Sprague and David Quadagno surveyed women from 22 to 57 years of age and found that among those under 35, 61% of the women said their primary motivation for sex was emotional rather than physical.  But among those over 35, only 38% claimed their emotional motivations were stronger than the physical hunger for contact;
10455.  At face value, such results suggest women’s motivations change with age.  Or one could also argue that this effect could simply reflect women becoming less apologetic as they mature;
10456.  Apparently, “heaven trap” (EDM music) is a thing;
10457.  EDM concerts/festivals are some of the most welcoming places.  You see all kinds of people at them;
10458.  First-time travelers to Istanbul, Bali, Gambia, Thailand or Jamaica may be surprised to see thousands of middle-aged women from Europe and the United States who flock to these places in search of no-strings sexual attention;
10459.  An estimated 80,000 women fly to Jamaica looking to “Rent a Rasta” every year;
10460.  The number of female Japanese visitors to the Thai island resort of Phuket jumped from fewer than 4,000 in 1990 to 10 times that just 4 years later outnumbering male Japanese tourists significantly;
10461.  The strongest explanation for the prevalence and intensity of the Coolidge effect among social mammals is that the male drive for sexual variety is evolution’s way of avoiding incest;
10462.  Our species evolved on a sparsely populated planet never more than a few million and probably fewer than 100,000 of us on Earth for most of our evolutionary past.  To avoid the genetic stagnation that would have dragged our ancestors into extinction long ago, males evolved a strong appetite for sexual novelty and a robust aversion to the overly familiar;
10463.  When a couple have been living together for years, when they’ve become family, this ancient anti-incest mechanism can effectively block eroticism for many men leading to confusion and hurt feelings all around;
10464.  Men’s testosterone levels recede over the years, but it’s not just the passing of time that brings these levels down: monogamy itself seems to drain away a man’s testosterone;
10465.  Married men consistently show lower levels of testosterone than single men of the same age; fathers of young children even less;
10466.  Men who are particularly responsive to infants show declines of 30% or more right after their child is born;
10467.  Married men having affairs were found to have higher testosterone levels than those who weren’t;
10468.  Most of the men having affairs have told researchers they were actually quite happy in their marriages, while only one-third of women having affairs felt that way;
10469.  Researcher, James Roney, and his colleagues found that even a brief chat with an attractive woman raised men’s testosterone levels by an average of 14%;
10470.  When these same men spent a few minutes talking with other men, their testosterone level fell by 2%;
10471.  William Master and Virginia Johnson reported that “loss of coital interest engendered by monotony in a sexual relationship is probably the most constant factor in the loss of an aging male’s interest in sexual performance with his partner;”
10472.  This loss of interest can frequently be reversed if the man has a younger lover even if the lover is not as attractive or sexually skilled as the man’s wife;
10473.  For most men and many women, sexual monogamy leads inexorably to monotony.  It’s important to understand this process has nothing to do with the attractiveness of the long-term partner or the depth and sincerity of the love felt for him or her;
10474.  As their testosterone levels decline with age, many men experience a diminishment of energy and libido, an intangible distance from the basic pleasures of life.  Most attribute this blurred distance to stress, lack of sleep or too much responsibility or they just chalk it up to the passage of time.  True enough, but some of this numbing could be due to ebbing testosterone levels;
10475.  Once the transitory thrill of an affair passes, men are left once again with the realities of what makes a relationship work over the long run: respect, admiration, convergent interests, good conversation, sense of humor and so on;
10476.  Researchers have found that men with lower levels of testosterone are more than 4 times as likely to suffer from clinical depression, fatal heart attacks and cancer when compared to other men their age with higher testosterone levels.  They are also more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia and have a far greater risk of dying prematurely from any cause (ranging from 88 to 250% higher depending on the study);
10477.  Most women’s sense of smell is significantly better than most men’s so there’s probably going to be evidence you can’t even sense, but that she’ll pick up on;
10478.  Love is an ideal thing; marriage a real thing;
10479.  A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished;
10480.  By insisting upon an ideal vision of marriage founded upon a lifetime of sexual fidelity to one person, a vision most of us eventually learn is highly unrealistic, we invite punishment upon ourselves, upon each other and upon our children;
10481.  The French are much more comfortable with the idea that their affair partner is just that an affair partner writes Pamela Druckerman in her cross-cultural look at infidelity, Lust in Translation;
10482.  Understanding that love and sex are different things, Druckerman says the French feel less need to “complain” about their marriage to legitimize the affair in the first place;”
10483.  The expectation of lifelong monogamy places an incredible strain on a marriage.  But our concept of love and marriage has as its foundation not only the expectation of monogamy, but the idea that where there’s love, monogamy should be easy and joyful;
10484.  Toe-curlingly passionate sex can be an important part of marital intimacy, but it is a grave mistake to think it’s the essence of long-term intimacy;
10485.  Thinking of marriage as an enduring romance is unrealistic: “It’s not like you want to rip your clothes off with somebody that you’re sleeping with for the thousandth time.  We should know going into it that the nature of love and sex changes from what it began is and that a great love affair doesn’t necessarily make a great marriage;
10486.  So-called polyamorous families are thought to number about ½ million in the United States, according to an article in Newsweek;
10487.  “Since Darwin,” Sarah Hrdy writes, “we have assumed that humans evolved in families where a mother relied on one male to help her rear her young in a nuclear family; yet . . . the diversity of human family arrangements . . . is better predicted by assuming that our ancestors evolved as cooperative breeders;”
10488.  It seems that the original modern American swingers were crew-cut World War II air force pilots and their wives;
10489.  Joan and Dwight explained to Gould that these warriors and their wives “shared each other as a kind of tribal bonding ritual with a tacit understanding that the two-thirds of husbands who survived would look after the widows;”
10490.  The crab cake sandwich at Café 44 (Cafe44.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria is tasty;
10491.  No one has it all figured out;
10492.  Being nice is overrated, be kind, be fair, be understanding not “nice;”
10493.  To love is to be vulnerable; let your guard down;
10494.  Good or bad, you can learn from everybody;
10495.  Embrace all of your emotions, don’t ignore them, don’t mask them, embrace them;
10496.  Traveling alone is better than with bad company;
10497.  Unlearning is just as important as learning;
10498.  Maturity is accepting you won’t get answers to the things that hurt you the most and heal anyway;
10499.  No one prepares you to watch your parents grow older;
10500.  Own up to your mistakes; do what you say you’ll do;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0209

10401.  The most effective approach to meaningful connection combines compassion with a specific type of empathy called cognitive empathy;
10402.  Compassion: The daily practice of recognizing and accepting our shared humanity so that we treat ourselves and others with loving-kindness and we take action in the face of suffering;
10403.  Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.  It’s a relationship between equals.  Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.  Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity;
10404.  Empathy is the most powerful tool of compassion.  It is an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding;
10405.  (Theresa Wiseman’s) Attributes of empathy: 1.  Perspective taking; 2.  Staying out of judgment; 3.  Recognizing emotion; 4.  Communicating our emotion; and 5.  Practicing mindfulness;
10406.  Pity is the near enemy of compassion;
10407.  The far enemy of compassion is cruelty;
10408.  On the surface, the near enemies of emotions or experiences might look and even feel like connection, but, ultimately, they drive us to be disconnected from ourselves and from each other.  Without awareness, near enemies become the practices that fuel separation rather than practices that reinforce the inextricable connection of all people;
10409.  Sympathy v. empathy: I feel sorry for you;
10410.  Discharging discomfort with blame: This feels terrible.  Who can we blame?  You?
10411.  Comparing/competing: If you think that’s bad!
10412.  Judgment: You “should” feel shame!
10413.  Advice giving/problem solving: I can fix this and I can fix you;
10414.  Empathy: You’re not alone.  I’m with you;
10415.  What does support look like right now?
10416.  Boundaries: A prerequisite for compassion and empathy;
10417.  Cultivating meaningful connection: 1.  Developing grounded confidence: Learning & improving; Near enemies: Knowing & proving; Far enemies: Protecting fragile self-worth; 2.  Practicing the courage to walk alongside; Near enemies: Controlling the path; Far enemies: Walking away; and 3.  Practicing story stewardship: Honoring story as sacred; Near enemies: Performing connection while driving disconnection; Far enemies: Not valuing story; Damaging trust & self-trust;
10418.  The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection;
10419.  What you aren’t changing, you are choosing;
10420.  Triggers are your teachers.  Let what triggers you, show you what needs healing;
10421.  Salt intensifies the sweet and sour flavors in a margarita.  It makes the sour seem brighter making the overall drink experience that much more pleasurable;
10422.  We spend far more time fixated on changing ourselves than we do on accepting ourselves;
10423.  Accountability starts with you.  It means you are responsible.  It’s not so much a way of thinking as a way of being and it starts from within;
10424.  Accountability is about being reliable.  Ask yourself, “Can people count on me to do what I say I’ll do as I said I would do it?”  You must always keep your word;
10425.  Accountability is ownership.  It’s the willingness to hold yourself to account; it means taking total ownership no matter the mess up;
10426.  Accountability is about creating clarity.  When you are accountable you clear up the gaps and voids of expectations and what you are going to be doing;
10427.  Accountability is about trustworthiness.  When you are responsible and you make a commitment, you hold yourself to a high standard where others know and can trust in you;
10428.  Accountability is a partnership.  Partnerships are about support and mutual accountability; when you are held accountable by a partner, it’s important to recognize and respect the power of their intention and respond with appreciation rather than anger;
10429.  Being accountable begins with accepting responsibility and leading from a place of action;
10430.  Choices + Behaviors + Actions = Accountability;
10431.  I am accountable means you are able to count on me: if it is to be, it’s up to me;
10432.  Great leaders who are bound by their word are liberated by their accountability;
10433.  Lead from within: You are the leader of your life.  Consider the importance of accountability and work to incorporate it in every area you influence;
10434.  Dark chocolate (flavor crème) Oreos are tasty;
10435.  Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth;
10436.  (I can say) I’ve had an oyster shooter (with Bloody Mary mix, Tabasco, Tito’s Handmade vodka & fresh lemon) at the Fish Market in (Old Town) Alexandria;
10437.  The blackberry (Arnold) Palmer at the Chart House is (really) tasty;
10438.  Remember that people: 1.  Love to their level of self-love; 2.  Communicate to their level of self-awareness; and 3.  Behave to their level of healed trauma;
10439.  Feelings are like children.  You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either;
10440.  The goals people pursue affect their long-term happiness;
10441.  People are happiest when they pursue goals that connect them to other people.  In the workplace, this is reflected in studies suggesting that when people see their work as connecting to a broader purpose and helping other people to achieve their goals, they’re more satisfied with their careers.  And satisfaction with your work generally lifts your overall sense of well-being;
10442.  You can distinguish between goals that are competitive versus cooperative.  A comparative goal is one where you want to see yourself do better and the people you compare yourself to do worse.  A cooperative goal is one where you try to lift up your family, friends or neighbors so that success means that everyone does well;
10443.  The happiest people tend to engage in a lot of cooperative goals rather than competitive ones.  This allows people to celebrate their own successes as well as the successes of the people around them;
10444.  Very few things are completely good or completely bad.  Most experiences have some positive elements and some negative ones.  A great meal at a restaurant may have started with problems finding a parking spot or a table that was a little too close to a potted plant.  Happy people tend to focus on the positives and to let the negatives of events fade into the background;
10445.  The focus on the positive elements has two benefits for well-being.  First, each event is more enjoyable in the moment because the focus is on the desirable parts of what is happening rather than the undesirable parts.  Second, the information you focus on is the information that stays in memory.  So, when you look back on the event later, you’ll remember the positive parts of it most strongly and that memory will also help to make you happy;
10446.  Over the course of your life, people will do bad things to you.  Even the people closest to you in your life will do selfish or mean things.  One thing that happy people do well is to forgive others.  The interesting thing about forgiveness is that it enables you to forget the details of what someone did that upset you in the first place.  As a result, you will not be reminded of all those negatives when you see them or think about them in the future;
10447.  The alternative to forgiveness is to hold onto the details of the bad things people have done to you in the past.  The memory of social pain does not go away as quickly as the memory of physical pain because you can regenerate feelings of anger, shame or embarrassment just from thinking through a negative interaction with someone from the past.  It’s hard to truly experience the physical pain of an injury when you think about it much later;
10448.  Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean that you will trust them completely in the future.  There are people who are mean, selfish or unreliable that you might choose not to spend time with or do business with anymore.  Still, forgiving them for what they did will help you to move past those interactions without harboring negative feelings that can drag down your mood or your satisfaction with life;
10449.  More than 50% of the surface of the brain is devoted to processing visual information;
10450.  Closing our eyes frees up the energy associated with that 50% allowing our brains much needed recovery;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0208

10351.  (As hard as it is,) sometimes you just have to let children go and fend for themselves and trust that they’ll figure it out for themselves (and don’t harm themselves or someone else in the process);
10352.  When given the chance, a 13 year-old (specifically Marlin Maughan) can surprise you and be (very) responsible even after all of the evidence to the contrary that you’ve (personally) seen;
10353.  Authentic love can be unconditional and still require reciprocity, respect and mutual willingness.  Without these things, what you’re left with is activated wounds looking to get safety, security and validation from a place it doesn’t exist;
10354.  Smoked corned beef is very tender;
10355.  Joshua Radin saw Colin Hay perform at the Birchmere in 2005 with his then girlfriend. . . . It was around that time he decided to write (and perform) music for a living;
10356.  Apparently, Joshua Radin is homeless. . . . He sold his house (in Los Angeles) and put his stuff/things in a storage unit.  And he’s now living out of a suitcase( while touring);
10357.  If you learned as a child that your silence would keep you safe, it can feel revolutionary to realize that your voice, not your silence, will keep you safe as an adult;
10358.  What if the things you shame yourself for (i.e., I’m lazy, overwhelmed, disorganized, unconfident, etc.) are actually the source of your power?
10359.  (Simply Nature) quinoa chips are (just) disappointing Sun Chips;
10360.  (Simply Nature) black bean chips aren’t very good (by themselves), but they’re great with salsa;
10361.  Corned beef prepared in a slow cooker is (also) very tender;
10362.  As we heal, we may find ourselves less able to tolerate others’ rage, neglect, sharpness or coldness.  This doesn’t mean that our healing has made use “weaker.”  It means that we’re finally allowing ourselves to recognize how painful these dynamics have always been and we’re finally giving ourselves permission not to tolerate them anymore;
10363.  The Portuguese stew (with Maine mussels, middleneck clams, market fish, smoked chorizo, peewee potatoes, fennel, cilantro & sourdough) at The Salt Line (TheSaltLine.com) is tasty;
10364.  (According to Isa Seyran, Washington,) D.C. has the second best theatre scene (in the U.S.) behind New York (City);
10365.  In order to break the people-pleasing pattern, we must learn to sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it, including: 1.  The discomfort of others being unhappy with us; 2.  The discomfort of letting others find the solutions to their own problems; 3.  The discomfort of having difficult conversations and setting tough boundaries; and 4.  The discomfort of realizing others’ happiness isn’t our responsibility, but our own happiness is;
10366.  (Simply Nature) cauliflower tortilla chips aren’t bad;
10367.  Old Ebbitt Grill (Ebbitt.com) in D.C. has oyster Happy Hour (i.e., ½ dozen for $12.00) daily from 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM and from 11:00 PM to 1:00 AM;
10368.  Fire Works Pizza (FireWorksPizza.com) in Courthouse has Happy Hour daily from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM;
10369.  Not everything needs a response.  You have the right to say “no” to people and situations that don’t serve you.  Don’t internalize other people’s behavior;
10370.  Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.  Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.  The point is to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer;
10371.  Letting things go is a daily practice;
10372.  Just a reminder that second chances without growth are just patterns;
10373.  Perhaps you are overvaluing what you don’t have and undervaluing what you do;
10374.  Make a list of everything you complain about and you will find some desires masquerading as complaints;
10375.  State your desire instead of complaining;
10376.  Shame and guilt must be released from past actions for they hold us separate from what is possible and ours as our birthright;
10377.  Whisky should avoid sunlight (at all costs) as it can effectively cook the alcohol and destroy it;
10378.  Whisky must never lay on its side because the alcohol can eat away at the seal and let air get in to oxidize the liquid;
10379.  Thinking you need to do it all alone all (of) the time is a trauma response . . . and a protection from the sheer vulnerability of inviting others in to the tenderness of your aching heart;
10380.  Don’t believe every worried thought you have.  Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate;
10381.  Caesars Sportsbook (WilliamHill.com/us/welcome) (by William Hill Sportsbook) in Capital One Arena (in D.C.) is pretty nice;
10382.  Don’t use mobile ordering at Caesars Sportsbook.  They automatically add a 20% gratuity, which is fine, but they also add an additional gratuity of 18%, which you can’t decline;
10383.  Deprivation of body pleasure throughout life, but particularly during the formative periods of infancy, childhood and adolescence, is very closely related to the amount of warfare and interpersonal violence;
10384.  Cultures that don’t interfere in the physical bonding between mother and child or prohibit the expression of adolescent sexuality show far lower levels of violence both between individuals and between societies;
10385.  The Muria of central India set up adolescent dormitories (called ghotuls), where adolescents are free to sleep together away from concerned parents.  In the ghotul, the young people are encouraged to experiment with different partners as it’s considered unwise to become too attached to a single partner at this phase of life;
10386.  Envy occurs when we want something that another person has;
10387.  Jealousy is when we fear losing a relationship or a valued part of a relationship that we already have;
10388.  Resentment: It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries, ask for what we need or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what people think, what they feel or how they’re going to react;
10389.  Schadenfreude: Pleasure or joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune;
10390.  We feel admiration when someone’s abilities, accomplishments or character inspires us or when we see something that inspires us like art or even nature;
10391.  Reverence: Sometimes called adoration, worship or veneration is a deeper form of admiration or respect and is often combined with a sense of meaningful connection with something greater than ourselves;
10392.  Irreverent: Not showing the expected respect for official, important or holy things;
10393.  If everything in your life is about your accomplishments, you eventually become a “human doing” instead of a “human being.”  Your entire sense of worth comes from what you’ve achieved (instead of who you are) and that’s a fickle place to be;
10394.  Bittersweet: A mixed feeling of happiness and sadness;
10395.  Nostalgia: A yearning for the way things used to be in our often idealized and self-protective version of the past;
10396.  Irony: A form of communication in which the literal meaning of the word is different, and often opposite, from the intended message;
10397.  Self-righteousness is the conviction that one’s beliefs and behaviors are the most correct;
10398.  Self-righteousness is closed-minded, inflexible, intolerant of ambiguity and less likely to consider other’s opinions;
10399.  The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets;
10400.  Compassion is a daily practice and empathy is a skill set that is one of the most powerful tools of compassion;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0207

10301.  The rooms at the JW Marriott Chicago are (really) nice;
10302.  It’s a 45-minute wait for deep dish pizza at Giordano’s (Giordanos.com). . . . It’s just so thick, it takes that long to cook;
10303.  Giordano’s deep dish pizza has more cheese and no tomato chunks (in their sauce) when compared to Pizzeria Uno’s/Uno Pizzeria & Grill’s deep dish pizza;
10304.  The crust on Giordano’s deep dish pizza is dry. . . . It isn’t greasy/oily;
10305.  Adolph Hitler didn’t invent the swastika;
10306.  The swastika is an ancient Hindu symbol adopted by Buddhists;
10307.  There’s a New Ireland in Papua New Guinea;
10308.  Both animal and human mummies were used at various times as fertilizer or fuel;
10309.  Mummy wrappings were used as raw material in papermaking;
10310.  Ground up human mummy was sold as medicine for its supposed ability to stop bleeding and was even used as a food seasoning;
10311.  In 1994, Frontera Grill (RickBayless.com/Restaurants/Frontera-Grill/) (in Chicago, Illinois,) was ranked the world’s third-best casual dining restaurant by the International Herald Tribune;
10312.  In 2007, Frontera Grill won the James Beard Foundation’s “Outstanding Restaurant” award as the best restaurant in the U.S.;
10313.  The (wood-grilled Florida pink) shrimp (i.e., camarones al coco) at Frontera Grill really taste like coconut . . . and so does the (white) rice;
10314.  The (grilled-roasted Gunthorp) pork loin (with Oaxacan yellow mole) at Frontera Grill is really tender;
10315.  Pecan polvorones remind me of pecan sandies;
10316.  The best (classic) flan I’ve ever had might have been at Frontera Grill. . . . It’s slightly sweet and the texture is very smooth with no lumps whatsoever;
10317.  The “Cloud Gate” (i.e., “the Bean”) (in Chicago) is cooler than I thought it’d be;
10318.  Testosterone levels correlate to the likelihood of a young man (or woman) getting into trouble;
10319.  In the U.S., adolescent males are 5 times more likely to kill themselves than females are;
10320.  Among Americans between 15 and 25, suicide is the third leading cause of death and teenage boys kill themselves at a rate double that of any other demographic group;
10321.  A government study found that homosexual youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers;
10322.  A 2005 survey of 12,000 adolescents found that those who had pledged to remain abstinent until marriage were more likely to have oral and anal sex than other teens, less likely to use condoms and just as likely to contract sexually transmitted diseases as their unapologetically non-abstinent peers;
10323.  The study’s authors found that 88% of those who pledged abstinence admitted to failing to keep their pledge;
10324.  If we had a parent, who was attuned, helped us navigate our emotions and (more often than not) met our needs, we will have safe, embodied patterns in relationships.  This means we will be able to express our needs and meet the needs of our partner.  We are able to trust and feel safe within the body;
10325.  If we had parent figures, who were not attuned to our needs, didn’t help guide us through our emotions and who were inconsistent, we develop relationship patterns to keep ourselves safe and protected.  We struggle to connect or trust and often leave our body(i.e., dissociate) to cope;
10326.  Our relationships (specifically our romantic relationships) are the greatest indicators of our emotional health;
10327.  Honey roasted pistachios are better/tastier than honey roasted peanuts;
10328.  Sometimes the reason that you’re suffering is because you won’t let go of the thing that’s biting you;
10329.  D(onald)J(oseph) Qualls (the actor) came out as gay at a Jim Jefferies show;
10330.  Jim Jefferies (the comedian) doesn’t drink anymore. . . . He just smokes (cannabis/marijuana) or takes edibles;
10331.  Jim Jefferies’s favorite TV show is The Bachelor/The Bachelorette;
10332.  “Eddie Murphy Delirious” was filmed at DAR Constitution Hall in D.C.;
10333.  The hot chicken and French toast sandwich (i.e., Nashville-style chicken sandwich, pickles & maple syrup) for brunch at Lyon Hall (LyonHallArlington.com) in Arlington is (pretty) tasty;
10334.  The band, Vertical Horizon, was formed by a couple of undergrad(uate)s (i.e., Matt Scannell & Keith Kane) at Georgetown University (in 1991);
10335.  (I can say) I was at the Seattle Kraken’s first game (ever played) in D.C.;
10336.  (I can say) I was at Mark Giordano’s 1,000^th career(, regular season) game;
10337.  Ironically, people-pleasing in order to feel a sense of belonging typically leads to the opposite outcome: feeling unseen and unknown;
10338.  A sense of belonging only arises when we feel seen and accepted for who we really are;
10339.  Fogo de Chao (FogoDeChao.com) has a pretty good Happy Hour.  It runs from 4:30 PM to 6:30 PM Monday through Friday (in the bar and patio) with $4.00 Happy Hour bites and $8.00 select cocktails;
10340.  Ronny Chieng (the comedian) has a( undergraduate) law degree from the University of Melbourne;
10341.  Apparently, Jim Jefferies was punched by an audience member when he was onstage in Manchester, England( in 2007);
10342.  Self-compassion isn’t just about being kind to your current self, it’s also about being kind to your previous self that didn’t know what you know now;
10343.  Emotional availability isn’t just about being able to give love, time and care.  It’s also about being able to receive love, time and care from others;
10344.  If you keep finding yourself in relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable, you might consider how emotionally available you really are;
10345.  Being happy doesn’t mean you have it all, it just means you’re grateful for all you have;
10346.  Life can change in an instant;
10347.  Apparently, you can die (rather) quickly after liver failure;
10348.  Chris Williams (the former University of Virginia men’s basketball player, who was nicknamed “Big Smooth”,) died of blood clots in his heart on March 15^th, 2017;
10349.  Root beer floats are good so I thought a ginger beer float could be good . . . not so much;
10350.  I can see (now) how it’s hard for parents to let go and trust their children to be responsible when a lot of what they’ve done in the past shows the opposite;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0206

10251.  Commitment is the ability to show up for something bigger than yourself;
10252.  Commitment is a value you can apply in every aspect of your life and it’s what will keep you going when times get tough;
10253.  (I can say) I’ve been to a(n) Islamic/Muslim wedding;
10254.  Imams (i.e., Islamic/Muslim priests) can be funny;
10255.  Austin(, Texas) strip clubs are terrible (specifically the Red Rose Cabaret);
10256.  Austin(, Texas) can’t handle freezing rain/snow. . . . They have no snow plows and not many salt/sand trucks;
10257.  Researchers Robin Baker and Mark Bellis found that approximately 35% of the sperm are ejected within half an hour of intercourse;
10258.  The female’s body perceives sperm as antigens (i.e., foreign bodies) that are promptly attacked by anti-sperm leucocytes, which outnumber sperm 100:1.  Only 1 in 14 million ejaculated human sperm even reach the oviduct;
10259.  There is striking evidence that the female reproductive system is capable of making subtle judgments based upon the chemical signature of different men’s sperm cells.  These assessments may go well beyond general health to the subtleties of immunological compatibility;
10260.  The genetic compatibility of different men with a given women means that sperm quality is a relative characteristic;
10261.  Not every “high quality” male would be a good match for any specific woman even on a purely biological level;
10262.  Because of the complexities of how the 2 sets of parental DNA interact in fertilization, a man who appears to be of superior mate value (i.e., square jaw, symmetrical body, good job, firm handshake & a Platinum AMEX card) may in fact be a poor genetic match for a particular woman;
10263.  A women’s orgasms provoke changes in vaginal acidity.  These changes appear to assist the sperm cells of the lucky guy who provoked the orgasm;
10264.  The environment at the cervical opening tends to be highly acidic and, thus, hostile to sperm cells.  The alkaline pH of semen protects the spermatozoa in this environment for a while, but the protection is short-lived; most of the sperm cells are viable within the vagina for only a few hours, so these changes in acidity alter the vaginal environment in ways that can favor sperm that arrive with the female’s orgasm;
10265.  Recent research suggests women who do not use condoms are less likely to suffer from depression than either women who do use condoms or who are not sexually active;
10266.  Women can develop a “chemical dependency” on the boost they get from the testosterone, estrogen, prostaglandins and other hormones contained in semen.  These chemicals center the woman’s bloodstream through the vaginal wall;
10267.  Reaching out and asking for help can be a gift.  It allows someone else to help/give back;
10268.  Jeremy thinks I don’t look my age;
10269.  The slow roasted Angus brisket (barbacoa style with red chile mayo, avocado relish & micro cilantro) and the chicken & waffle (with crisp tenders, peppered bacon, peppercorn gravy, green apple slaw, maple syrup, red chile aioli, chives on a waffle tortilla) tacos at Velvet Taco (VelvetTaco.com) are tasty;
10270.  Apparently, Kalpesh (Lakhani) thinks I’m a fun guy;
10271.  I feel/think that people don’t see me, but (some) people do see me as a good person (specifically Rob, Ian & Greg);
10272.  Spanish researchers confirmed that women experience greater feelings of attractiveness and desire around ovulation while others have reported women find classically masculine faces more attractive around ovulation opting for less chiseled-looking guys when not fertile;
10273.  Where a woman chooses her partner while she is on the pill and then comes off it to have a child, her hormone-driven preferences have changed and she may find she is married to the wrong kind of man;
10274.  The only real (love) revolution happens right inside of you;
10275.  The most important place for all of us to start is to prioritize loving and healing is the self-love that needs to happen inside ourselves and our own trauma first;
10276.  When we’re able to discover more of our own light after healing our trauma, we’ll have more light to shine out to the world;
10277.  Hurt people hurt people, but people filled with love for themselves love other people;
10278.  A lot of the restaurants/stores at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport close around 5:30/6:00 PM;
10279.  Celebrating your small wins is crucial as it reminds you that you are on the right path and your efforts will pay off;
10280.  We wrap our self-worth up in completing certain tasks or goals.  Noting that once we achieve a certain goal or standard, that it will boost our self-esteem and, therefore, our confidence and worth.  This is true to a point because achievement does feel good and is a strong motivator.  However, for those of us who struggle with perfection, it’s a dangerous internal dialogue to have.  To say that we are only worth something if we can achieve a specific thing we’ve randomly attached value to creates a rat race.  And it’s a race that, ultimately, we will never win.  We’ll always be chasing the next best thing, never satisfied, never fully confident and always hungry;
10281.  What if we shifted our perspective to be more like those who are truly confident and happy with who/where they are?  What would it take?  It would take self-acceptance;
10282.  Goal attainment and confidence are 2 separate things and, the more we can assess these separately, the better off we are;
10283.  If we blindly accepted ourselves, without attaching achievement, how differently would we look and feel?
10284.  What if we decided we were worth something not because we “earned it,” but because we know who we are and we know that’s someone worth believing in?
10285.  What if we believed we were worth something simply because we are human and know that nobody else out there is like us?
10286.  It’s okay to believe in who I am because I accept and love all of me . . . weaknesses, strengths, the whole package. . . . There’s no other package like this – like me – like you. . . . There is value in rarity;
10287.  Accept who you are and use all of what you know to propel yourself forward rather than focusing exclusively on goal attainment;
10288.  Achievement is one small portion of success; confidence, on the other hand, is a matter of perspective;
10289.  By constantly ruminating over your past, you are characterizing your present with a negative emotional experience.  Let go;
10290.  Researchers at Michigan State University have discovered that dogs often take on the same personality traits as their owner;
10291.  Dogs are like humans in that they have personalities that are shaped over time;
10292.  According to Professor Chopik, older dogs are much harder to train.  He found that the “sweet spot” for teaching a dog obedience is around the age of 6, when it outgrows its excitable puppy stage, but before it’s too set in its ways;
10293.  Forget those who hurt you yesterday, but don’t forget those who love you every day.  Forget the past that makes you cry, focus on the present that makes you smile.  Forget the pain, but never forget the lessons you gained;
10294.  It cost me $119.95 (i.e., trip charge) to find out that frost can form in your freezer if the door/drawer isn’t (fully) shut( all of the way);
10295.  With women, at least nominally straight women, the higher her sex drive, the more likely she’ll be attracted to men and women;
10296.  Lesbians showed the same pattern as men: a higher sex drive means more women-only focus;
10297.  Many women see themselves as attracted to specific people rather than to their gender;
10298.  Women, in sexologist Lisa Diamond’s view, respond so strongly to emotional intimacy that their innate gender orientation can easily be overwhelmed;
10299.  One can choose what to do, but not what to want;
10300.  Note to self: Don’t visit Chicago in February;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0205

10201.  In Mexico, they put shards of glass on top of walls. . . . I’m guessing it’s to prevent people from grabbing a hold of the top and pulling themselves over;
10202.  I can say I’ve been sailing (on a catamaran) in Mexico;
10203.  The “carpaccio di manzo” (i.e., beef carpaccio, balsamic gel & fennel-orange salad) at Bocelli Cucina Italiana at the Playacar Palace (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico) is (really) tasty;
10204.  Cancun(, Mexico) was founded in 1970;
10205.  Cancun(, Mexico and the Riviera Maya region) exist(s) solely because of tourism;
10206.  Tulum(, Mexico) was originally called Zama(, which is Mayan for “dawn”);
10207.  There are over 780 glyphs/signs in Mayan (hieroglyphic) writing;
10208.  The Mayans are known for their astronomical system, their calendar and mathematics;
10209.  About 20% of Mexicans are (part) Mayan;
10210.  Apparently, Mayans were short;
10211.  The Mayans built houses in the shape of a cross (pointing in the 4 cardinal directions of north, south, east and west);
10212.  Belize is a 3 days walk from Tulum;
10213.  Cuba is about 90 miles from Cancun;
10214.  Apparently, there’s a bike racing circuit for 7-year-olds;
10215.  Martie Haselton and her colleagues found that men shown photographs of the same 30 women – some taken around ovulation and others not – were quite good at judging when the women were “trying to look more attractive,” which in turn corresponded to the women’s menstrual status.  These authors found that women tend to dress more fetchingly when they are more likely to be fertile.  “Moreover,” writes Haselton, “the closer women were to ovulation when photographed in the fertile window, the more frequently their fertile photograph was chosen;”
10216.  Other researchers have found that men preferred women’s bodily smells near ovulation and that women tend to behave more provocatively in various ways when they’re likely to be fertile (i.e., they wear more jewelry and perfume, go out more, are more likely to hook up for casual sexual encounters and are less likely to use condoms with new lovers);
10217.  According to the head chef at the Playacar Palace (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico), you should cook onions (for) a little bit before adding (olive) oil. . . . It gives them a different flavor;
10218.  There are 60 employees preparing all of the food for the guests at the Playacar Palace (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico);
10219.  The biggest shrimp I’ve ever eaten/had were at the “chef’s dinner” at the Playacar Palace (in Mexico);
10220.  Nail buffer blocks remind me of drywall sanding sponges;
10221.  I had my first (ever) manicure and pedicure in Mexico;
10222.  There’s a Nickelodeon resort in Cancun(, Mexico);
10223.  The chipotle chicken tortas at Tortas Frontera by Rick Bayless (RickBayless.com/Restaurants/Tortas-Frontera/) is tasty;
10224.  If you want to date more, don’t focus on how many dates you go on, how many phone numbers you get or how many women you sleep with (i.e., all outcomes).  Instead just think about becoming the best version of yourself, being more social and putting yourself in situations where you’ll meet the women you’re interested in (i.e., actions);
10225.  You don’t have to know every turn on the route to get to where you want to go.  You don’t need to know how you’re going to get somewhere.  You just have to believe that you’re going to get there.  The how will take care of itself;
10226.  Faith is taking the first step when you can’t see the full staircase.  Trust is surrendering to the flow of life;
10227.  The degree to which you’re willing to be vulnerable is the degree to which you can grow in life;
10228.  Consistency is the not-so-secret secret to success;
10229.  (According to Ian Stanley, )the best habits to be consistent at are: 1.  Writing; 2.  Working out; 3.  Eating well; and 4.  Meditating;
10230.  Although Dixson classifies humans as mildly polygynous in his survey of primate sexuality, he seems to have doubts, as when he writes, “One might argue that . . . the female’s orgasm is rewarding, increases her willingness to copulate with a variety of males rather than one partner and thus promotes sperm competition;”
10231.  Apparently, Brittani (Wilson) lived next to Molly McGrath (i.e., the sportscaster) when she attended/was at Boston College;
10232.  Apologizing doesn’t make you weak.  It shows you have humility and the maturity to speak the truth and own up to your behavior;
10233.  Farmers Fishers Bakers (FarmersFishersBakers.com) in Washington Harbour in D.C. has a good weekend brunch (from 9:00 AM to 2:00 PM) for $29.99/person.  They have a good variety of breakfast (e.g., eggs Benedict, egg scramble, French toast, etc.), lunch (e.g., brisket, fried chicken, fried shrimp, ham, salads, salmon, tacos, vegetables, etc.) and dessert (e.g., cinnamon rolls, cheesecake, cookies, doughnuts, ice cream, kettle corn, Key lime pie, peanut butter mousse, etc.) items;
10234.  Don’t forget to show appreciation to those who genuinely support you;
10235.  (I can say) I’ve eaten/had wagyu beef. . . . I don’t (really) get the hype;
10236.  I never thought I’d ever know someone who was murdered . . . rest in peace Bengu Beachley;
10237.  Jehovah’s Witnesses are relentless. . . . They’ll send you (recruitment) letters in foreign languages if they think English isn’t your first language/native tongue;
10238.  Assumptions are often wrong.  Ask people about what they think rather than assuming you already know;
10239.  Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift.  That’s why it’s called the present;
10240.  Believe the hype.  Magic Spoon cereals (MagicSpoon.com) (specifically the cocoa and peanut butter) do taste like their sugary counterparts;
10241.  Overcooked gyro meat is like (lamb) bacon;
10242.  Yes, life is hard and many things cause suffering, but we also have the ability to find joy, relief and hope amidst difficulties;
10243.  Seth (Barr) thinks I don’t look my age;
10244.  The quinoa tabbouleh salad (with cucumber, roasted tomato, lettuce, radishes & olive vinaigrette) at the Sixth and Waller Global Diner (EastAustinHotel.com/food-drink/6th-and-waller/) (at the East Austin Hotel) in Austin, Texas is (really) tasty;
10245.  If you’re speaking, you’re not listening.  If you’re not listening, you’re not learning.  Listening is the key to learning and learning is the prerequisite to growth;
10246.  If you can’t hear what another person has to say, how can you learn about the motivations behind their actions?
10247.  If you don’t listen to your intuition, how can you live a life that is aligned with your gut/highest self?
10248.  If you don’t listen to that small quiet pull inside, how can you listen to others when we don’t even listen to ourselves?
10249.  If respect was the building blocks, listening would be the glue that holds them together;
10250.  What you do in the dark, puts you in the light;