What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0052

2551.  Things do not necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best out of things that happen;

2552.  The most successful people see adversity not as a stumbling block, but as a stepping-stone to greatness;

2553.  Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly;

2554.  Many venture capitalists will only hire managers who have already experienced their share of business flops.  A spotless résumé is not nearly as promising as one that showcases defeat and growth;

2555.  In his book The Pursuit of Perfect, Tal Ben-Shahar writes that “we can only learn to deal with failure by actually experiencing failure, by living through it.  The earlier we face difficulties and drawbacks, the better prepared we are to deal with the inevitable obstacles along our path;”

2556.  In one experiment where 90 people went through a software training program, half were taught to prevent errors from occurring, while the other half were guided into mistakes during training.  The group encouraged to make errors not only exhibited greater feelings of self-efficacy, but because they had learned to figure their own way out of mistakes, they were also far faster and more accurate in how they used the software later on;

2557.  When we fail, or when life delivers us a shock, we can become so hopeless that we respond by simply giving up;

2558.  Tibetan monks eat granola bars . . . and (roasted, unshelled) peanuts;

2559.  I can say I’ve had a cheesesteak in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania . . . albeit it was in the airport;

2560.  Karl Storchmann, a clinical professor of economics at New York University and the managing editor of the Journal of Wine Economics, claims that wines prominently labeled as “organic” in the U.S. are underpriced.  (He says) Europe is the opposite;

2561.  I know someone whose friends with Armin van Buuren;

2562.  Brazilians use a lot of rock salt to barbeque picanha (i.e., the rump cap of a cow);

2563.  Mission first, people always;

2564.  Lard fried (buttermilk) chicken has a distinctive (and kind of strange) taste to it;

2565.  “Patrón” in Spanish means “boss;”

2566.  The Patrón distillery in Mexico runs twenty-four hours a day seven days a week;

2567.  The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was designed by a then 20 year-old, Chinese American undergraduate (student) at Yale (University), named Maya Lin;

2568.  Honey and lemon (“tea”) is pretty tasty;

2569.  Apparently, I went to school (i.e., college) with Peyton Manning’s wife, Ashley;

2570.  On Mondays, Murphy’s Irish Pub has all you can eat (barbeque pork) ribs for $14.95 from 5 o’clock to 9 o’clock;

2571.  When you talk too much — when you give too many details, too much information — you’re lying;

2572.  Apparently, the Second Lady (i.e., Dr. Jill Biden) is a fan of Malcolm Gladwell;

2573.  Malcolm Gladwell used to write for “The Washington Post;”

2574.  Goliath (as in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible) may have been blind;

2575.  Malcolm Gladwell is a Canadian, who won’t remember your face (i.e., prosopagnosia), is a glutton for punishment (i.e., a Buffalo Bills fan), who wishes he could write like Michael Lewis and who loves his sleep (i.e., about nine hours a night);

2576.  I can say that I’ve been to a book signing with the Second Lady;

2577.  Secret Service agents are kind of dicks, but I guess you have to be if you work (in) security;

2578.  The crowd at a “Nine Inch Nails” concert is (a lot) more normal than I thought it’d be;

2579.  (The band) “Godspeed You! Black Emperor” sounds like an angrier version of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” soundtrack;

2580.  Go within, discover your invisible higher self, and know God as the love that is within you;

2581.  Seedless watermelons are allowed by the U.S. Standards for Grades of Watermelons to contain up to 10 seeds;

2582.  Apparently, you can eat as much candy as you want as long as you rinse the sugar off your teeth (afterwards) by drinking water . . . at least that’s what a dental assistant told me;

2583.  “FWB” means “friends with benefits,” not “favorite white boy” . . . duh;

2584.  Sonoma and Napa are both known for wine production, but they’re in different (although neighboring) places (i.e., valleys) in California;

2585.  The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness.  Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities that hurt us the most as children;

2586.  A man knows what he wants and goes for it.  A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really.  He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, he doesn’t exert much effort to get it.  A boy is passive.  A man is assertive;

2587.  A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life.  He has put thought into his values.  A boy has not established his moral compass or values and, consequently, is often inconsistent;

2588.  A man has integrity.  He means what he says and says what he means.  He follows through and acts on his promises.  And if he can’t (follow through and act), he has the guts to tell you why.  A boy makes promises, but doesn’t follow through on them;

2589.  A man is afraid of rejection, but will put himself out there anyway.  A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passively so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up;

2590.  Shiben Bhattacharya (i.e., Matt Nathanson’s touring bassist) likes to smoke and take pictures of the (front of the) venue before shows;

2591.  Joshua Radin gives out wristbands for meet-and-greets for buying merch(andise) so he can meet his fans and not be overwhelmed . . . not because he wants to sell more merch(andise) . . . so he says;

2592.  “Fine Champagne” cognac is made with at least 50% Grande Champagne eaux de vie and the rest Petite Champagne eaux de vie;

2593.  Cognac is like Scotch/whiskey except (it’s) made with grapes;

2594.  I’ve been told that some barrels of Rémy Martin could buy you several Mercedes-Benzes;

2595.  Cognac is brandy;

2596.  Luisa is really into Georgetown (men’s) basketball;

2597.  If you like traditional, Irish(, instrumental) music, Daniel O’Connell’s Restaurant (DanielOConnells.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria has a live band playing on Monday nights;

2598.  Think about for 5 minutes what your life will be like in 5, 10 and 20 years if you don’t change anything.  Then write it down as descriptively as possible.  Think about for another 5 minutes how you want your life to look like in 5, 10 and 20 years.  Then write down the changes you’ll need to make to get there – and how you’re going to make those changes;

2599.  You are in charge of your life.  If you don’t set a direction, you’ll drift to wherever you end up;

2600.  Most people spend more time and care planning their vacations than they spend planning their lives;

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0051

2501.  Even the way we describe seemingly straightforward tasks can make a difference in how people perform;

2502.  What we expect from people (and from ourselves) manifests itself in the words we use, and those words can have a powerful effect on end results;

2503.  The Pygmalion Effect: when our belief in another person’s potential brings that potential to life;

2504.  The expectations we have about our children, coworkers, spouses—whether or not they are ever voiced—can make that expectation a reality;

2505.  Theory X holds that people work because you pay them, and that if you don’t watch them they will stop working.  Theory Y holds the opposite: that people work for intrinsic motives, that they work harder and better when not being ordered around, and that they do it for the satisfaction they receive from good work.  Managers who believe Theory X turn out to have workers who need constant supervision, while managers who hold to Theory Y have employees who work for the love of the job.  Turns out that no matter what their motivations might have been before working for these managers, employees typically become the kind of worker their manager expects them to be;

2506.  While it’s important to shift our fulcrum to a more positive mindset, we don’t want to shift it too far—in other words, we have to be careful not to have unrealistic expectations about our potential;

2507.  We want to push the limits of possibility as far as they can go, not limit them in the way too many discouraging bosses, parents, teachers, or media stories tell us they should be limited;

2508.  As science has shown, when we believe we can do more and achieve more (or when others believe it for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more;

2509.  Stop thinking of the world as fixed when reality is, in truth, relative;

2510.  In the work world, as in our personal lives, we are often rewarded for noticing the problems that need solving, the stresses that need managing, and the injustices that need righting.  The problem is that if we get stuck in only that pattern, always looking for and picking up on the negative, even a paradise can become a hell;

2511.  The better we get at scanning for the negative, the more we miss out on the positive—those things in life that bring us greater happiness, and in turn fuel our success;

2512.  Constantly scanning the world for the negative comes with a great cost.  It undercuts our creativity, raises our stress levels, and lowers our motivation and ability to accomplish goals;

2513.  Lawyers are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from major depressive disorder than the rest of the employed population;

2514.  Trained to be on the lookout for the flaws in every argument, the holes in every case, lawyers start to overestimate the significance and permanence of the problems they encounter, the fastest route to depression and anxiety—which in turn interferes with their ability to do their job;

2515.  Scientists estimate that we remember only one of every 100 pieces of information we receive; the rest effectively gets filtered out.  If we have programmed our brain’s filter to delete the positive, that data will cease to exist for us;

2516.  “Inattentional blindness” is our frequent inability to see what is often right in front of us if we’re not focusing directly on it.  This aspect of human biology means that we can miss an astoundingly large number of things that might be considered “obvious;”

2517.  Repeated studies have shown that two people can view the same situation and actually see different things, depending on what they are expecting to see.  It’s not just that they come away with different interpretations of the same event, but that they have actually seen different things in their visual field;

2518.  When our brains constantly scan for and focus on the positive, we profit from three of the most important tools available to us: happiness, gratitude, and optimism;

2519.  The more you pick up on the positive around you, the better you’ll feel;

2520.  The more opportunities for positivity we see, the more grateful we become;

2521.  Psychologist Robert Emmons, who has spent nearly his entire career studying gratitude, has found that few things in life are as integral to our well-being;

2522.  Consistently grateful people are more energetic, emotionally intelligent, forgiving, and less likely to be depressed, anxious, or lonely;

2523.  Gratitude has proven to be a significant cause of positive outcomes.  When researchers pick random volunteers and train them to be more grateful over a period of a few weeks, they become happier and more optimistic, feel more socially connected, enjoy better quality sleep, and even experience fewer headaches than control groups;

2524.  The more your brain picks up on the positive, the more you’ll expect this trend to continue, and so the more optimistic you’ll be;

2525.  Studies have shown that optimists set more goals (and more difficult goals) than pessimists, and put more effect into attaining those goals, stay more engaged in the face of difficulty, and rise above obstacles more easily;

2526.  Optimists also cope better in high stress situations and are better able to maintain high levels of well-being during times of hardship;

2527.  It turns out that there is no such thing—in a scientific sense, at least—as luck.  The only difference (and it is a big one) is whether or not people think that they are lucky—in essence, whether they expect good or bad things to happen to them;

2528.  Sixty-nine percent of high school and college students report that their career decisions depended on chance encounters.  The difference between people who capitalize on these chances and those who watch them pass by (or miss them entirely) is all a matter of focus.  When someone is stuck in a Negative Tetris Effect, his brain is quite literally incapable of seeing these opportunities.  But armed with positivity, the brain stays open to possibility;

2529.  Priming yourself to expect a favorable outcome actually encodes your brain to recognize the outcome when it does in fact arise;

2530.  Imagine a typical paper-pushing office.  The objective reality of the physical place will always be the same: walls, carpet, stapler, computer.  But, as with everything else, how we see that space is up to us.  Some people will view the environment as constricting, confining, and depressing; others will see it as energizing and empowering.  In other words, to some, it’s an office; to others a prison cell;

2531.  Training your brain to notice more opportunities takes practice focusing on the positive.  The best way to kick-start this is to start making a daily list of the good things in your job, your career, and your life;

2532.  When you write down a list of “three good things” that happened that day, your brain will be forced to scan the last 24 hours for potential positives—things that brought small or large laughs, feelings of accomplishment at work, a strengthened connection with family, a glimmer of hope for the future.  In just five minutes a day, this trains the brain to become more skilled at noticing and focusing on possibilities for personal and professional growth, and seizing opportunities to act on them.  At the same time, because we can only focus on so much at once, our brains push out those small annoyances and frustrations that used to loom large into the background, even out of our visual field entirely;

2533.  One study found that participants who wrote down three good things each day for a week were happier and less depressed at the one-month, three-month, and six-month follow-ups.  Even after stopping the exercise, they remained significantly happier and showed higher levels of optimism;

2534.  The items you write down each day don’t need to be profound or complicated, only specific;

2535.  A variation on the Three Good Things exercise is to write a short journal entry about a positive experience;

2536.  In one experiment, researchers Chad Burton and Laura King, instructed people to write about a positive experience for 20 minutes three times a week and then compared them to a control group who wrote about neutral topics.  Not only did the first group experience larger spikes in happiness, but three months later they even had fewer symptoms of illness;

2537.  The best way to ensure follow-through on a desired activity is to make it a habit;

2538.  Looking at the world through a lens that completely filters out all negatives comes with its own problems.  That’s why I like to offer a slightly revised version of the metaphor: rose-tinted glasses.  As the name implies, rose-tinted glasses let the really major problems into our field of vision, while still keeping our focus largely on the positive;

2539.  The key is not to completely shut out all the bad, all the time, but to have a reasonable, realistic, healthy sense of optimism.  The ideal mindset isn’t heedless of risk, but it does give priority to the good.  Not just because that makes us happier but because that is precisely what creates more good;

2540.  Focusing on the good isn’t just about overcoming our inner grump to see the glass half full.  It’s about opening our minds to the ideas and opportunities that will help us be more productive, effective, and successful at work and in life;

2541.  The most successful decision come when we are thinking clearly and creatively enough to recognize all the paths available to us, and accurately predict where that path will lead.  The problem is that when we are stressed or in crisis, many people miss the most important path of all: the path up;

2542.  On every mental map after crisis or adversity, there are three mental paths.  One that keeps circling around where you currently are (i.e., the negative event creates no change; you end where you start).  Another mental path leads you toward further negative consequences (i.e., you are far worse off after the negative event; this path is why we are afraid of conflict and challenge).  And one, which I call the Third Path, that leads us from failure or setback to a place where we are even stronger and more capable than before the fall;

2543.  In a crisis, economic or otherwise, we tend to form incomplete mental maps, and ironically the path we have trouble seeing is often the most positive, productive one.  In fact, when we feel helpless and hopeless, we stop believing such a path even exits—so we don’t even bother to look for it.  But this is the very path we should be looking for;

2544.  Study after study shows that if we are able to conceive of a failure as an opportunity for growth, we are all the more likely to experience that growth.  Conversely, if we conceive of a fall as the worst thing in the world, it becomes just that;

2545.  We are not imprisoned by our circumstances, our setbacks, our history, our mistakes, or even staggering defeats along the way.  We are freed by our choices;

2546.  By scanning our mental map for positive opportunities, and by rejecting the belief that every down in life leads us only further downward, we give ourselves the greatest power possible: the ability to move up not despite the setbacks, but because of them;

2547.  Great suffering or trauma can actually lead to great positive change across a wide range of experiences.  After trauma, people also report enhanced personal strength and self-confidence, as well as a heightened appreciation for, and a greater intimacy in, their social relationships.  Of course, this isn’t true for everybody.  There are a number of mechanisms involved, but not surprisingly, mindset takes center stage;

2548.  The strategies that most often lead to Adversarial Growth include positive reinterpretation of the situation or event, optimism, acceptance, and coping mechanisms that include focusing on the problem head-on (rather than trying to avoid or deny it);

2549.  It appears that it is not the type of event per se that influences posttraumatic growth, but rather the subjective experience of the event.  In other words, the people who can most successfully get themselves up off the mat are those who define themselves not by what has happened to them, but by what they can make out of what has happened.  These are the people who actually use adversity to find the path forward;

2550.  Every setback comes some opportunity for growth that we can teach ourselves to see and take advantage of;

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0050

2451.  I think our (personal) insecurities can fuel our imaginations to come up with the worst possible outcome to a situation when the reality is nowhere nearly as bad;

2452.  I think our (own) perception of ourselves is (probably) different from how others view us.  The reality is probably somewhere in the middle.  We’re not as skilled as we fancy ourselves to be, but (at the same time) we’re also not as bad as others believe we are;

2453.  The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny;

2454.  Unaged whiskey is (just) another name for moonshine;

2455.  So you want to see the Seattle skyline, but you don’t want to pay the admission to the Sky View Observatory in the Columbia Center; then try the Starbucks on the 40^th floor.  It may have the best view of any Starbucks in the world;

2456.  Red Robin (Gourmet Burgers) (RedRobin.com) was founded in Seattle;

2457.  It’s kind of bizarre seeing an older woman (with glasses and some white hair) sitting on a stoop, drinking a beer and smoking a joint at 2:30 in the afternoon . . . right next door to a men’s shelter;

2458.  To be in the “Blue Angels,” pilots have to be carrier-qualified, active-duty in a Marine or Navy jet squadron and logged a minimum of 1,250 flight hours;

2459.  I’ve bought a homeless man food (McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets and a soda to be exact);

2460.  I’ve given a homeless man a beer;

2461.  There’s Mexican shawarma;

2462.  The Estofado con Pollo (i.e., chicken thigh stewed in tomato, chilies, olives, almonds and raisins served with rice and corn tortillas) at Mezcaleria Oaxaca (MezcaleriaOaxaca.com) in Seattle is really tasty;

2463.  Mezcaleria Oaxaca (in Seattle) has the best tortillas (corn or otherwise) I’ve ever had.  They’re each handmade and grilled fresh;

2464.  Mezcaleria Oaxaca (in Seattle) may be the best Mexican restaurant I’ve ever eaten at;

2465.  Kerry Park has a great view of the Seattle skyline;

2466.  Taco Del Mar (TacoDelMar.com) is kind of a cross between Chipotle and California Tortilla.  You order like Chipotle, but the food tastes (and looks) like California Tortilla;

2467.  (Seattle) Seahawks fans have earned their reputation as the “12^th Man.”  They’re really loud.  On game days, you can hear them a ½ mile away from the stadium;

2468.  The giant Pacific octopus is the biggest in the world. . . . It (typically) lives 3-5 years;

2469.  Sea otters have the densest fur in the animal kingdom. . . . And they’re really fast eaters;

2470.  Fur seals have the second densest fur in the animal kingdom;

2471.  I’ve eaten 108 shrimp in one sitting (during Red Lobster’s “Endless Shrimp” promotion);

2472.  The (glass) sculptures at Chihuly Garden & Glass (ChihulyGardenAndGlass.com) are incredible.  If you’re in Seattle, it’s worth a visit;

2473.  When it comes to the environment, Seattle is really progressive.  Besides recycling bins they also have compost bins at (fast food) restaurants and at Safeco Field (i.e., where the Mariners play);

2474.  You should double check your flight time the night before.  That way you won’t be silently imploring the train to go faster and you won’t have to franticly jog through (most of) the (Seattle-Tacoma Airport) parking garage and the entire concourse because (indubitably) your gate is all the way at the other end of the airport;

2475.  Just as our view of work affects our real experience of it, so too does our view of leisure.  If our mindset conceives of free time, hobby time, or family time as non-productive, then we will, in fact, make it a waste of time;

2476.  Allowing ourselves to engage in activities we enjoy can actually greatly enhance our performance at work.  But simply doing them is not enough to get results.  But if you change the fulcrum so that you conceive of such free time as a chance to learn and practice new things, to recharge your batteries and connect with others, you’ll be able to leverage the power of that rest time and return stronger than before;

2477.  The more you believe in your own ability to succeed, the more likely it is that you will;

2478.  Studies show that simply believing we can bring about positive change in our lives increases motivation and job performance; that success, in essence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy;

2479.  One study of 112 entry-level accountants found that those who believed they could accomplish what they set out to do were the ones who ten months later scored the best job performance ratings from their supervisors.  Their belief in their own ability was an even stronger predictor of job performance than the actual level of skill or training they had;

2480.  Our beliefs about our abilities are not necessarily innate, but can change, as our mindset is almost always in flux;

2481.  In a study performed by Margaret Shih and her colleagues at Harvard, a group of Asian women were given similar math tests on two separate occasions.  The first time around, they were primed to think about the fact that they were women, stereotypically worse at math than men.  The second time around, they were told to focus on their identity as Asians, generally thought to be math whizzes compared to other ethnic groups.  The result: The women performed far better in the second situation than they did in the first.  Their math IQs hadn’t changed and neither had the difficulty of the questions.  But in the second instance they believed more in their ability, and this was enough to make a substantive difference in performance;

2482.  If you’re sporting self-doubt, you’ve undercut your performance before you even begin.  So when faced with a difficult task or challenge, give yourself an immediate competitive advantage by focusing on all the reasons you will succeed, rather than fail.  Remind yourself of the relevant skills you have, rather than those you lack.  Think of a time you have been in a similar circumstance in the past and performed well.  Years of research have shown that a specific and concerted focus on your strengths during a difficult task produces the best results;

2483.  This doesn’t mean you should ignore your weaknesses or chant empty affirmations to yourself or take on tasks you can’t handle, it just means to focus on what you are actually good at;

2484.  More important still than believing in your own abilities is believing that you can improve these abilities;

2485.  Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck found that people can be split into two categories: Those with a “fixed mindset” believe that their capabilities are already set, while those with a “growth mindset” believe that they can enhance their basic qualities through effort;

2486.  A growth mindset is not dismissive of innate ability; it merely recognizes that “although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience;

2487.  People with fixed mindsets miss choice opportunities for improvement and consistently underperform, while those with a “growth mindset” watch their abilities move ever upward;

2488.  When we believe there will be a positive payoff for our effort, we work harder instead of succumbing to helplessness;

2489.  Beliefs are so powerful because they dictate our efforts and actions;

2490.  Those who simply believed in their own power to change followed a course of action that maximized their performance.  The others, given the same opportunity, squandered it;

2491.  Once we realize how much our reality depends on how we view it, it comes as less of a surprise that our external circumstances predict only about 10 percent of our total happiness;

2492.  Yale psychologist Amy Wrzesniewski found that employees have one of three “work orientations,” or mindsets about our work.  People with a “job” see work as a Job, a Career, or a Calling.  People with a “job” see work as a chore and their paycheck as the reward.  They work because they have to and constantly look forward to the time they can spend away from their job.  By contrast, people who view their work as a career work not only out of necessity, but also to advance and succeed.  They are invested in their work as an end in itself; their work is fulfilling not because of external rewards but because they feel it contributes to the greater good, draws on their personal strengths, and gives them meaning and purpose.  Unsurprisingly, people with a calling orientation not only find their work more rewarding, but work harder and longer because of it.  And as a result, these are the people who are generally more likely to get ahead;

2493.  Unhappy employees can find ways to improve their work life that don’t involve quitting, changing jobs or careers, or going off to find themselves.  Organizational psychologists call this “job crafting,” but in essence, it involves simply adjusting one’s mindset.  New possibilities open for the meaning of work simply by the way it is constructed by the individual;

2494.  If you can’t make actual changes to your daily work, ask yourself what potential meaning and pleasure already exist in what you do;

2495.  Researchers have found that even the smallest tasks can be imbued with greater meaning when they are connected to personal goals and values.  The more we can align our daily tasks with our personal vision, the more likely we are to see work as a calling;

2496.  Turn a piece of paper horizontally, and on the left hand side write down a task you’re forced to perform at work that feels devoid of meaning.  Then ask yourself: What is the purpose of this task?  What will it accomplish?  Draw an arrow to the right and write this answer down.  If what you wrote still seems unimportant, ask yourself again: What does this result lead to?  Draw another arrow and write this down.  Keep going until you get to a result that is meaningful to you.  In this way, you can connect every small thing you do to the larger picture, to a goal that keeps you motivated and energized;

2497.  Forget about your current job title.  What would our customers call your job title if they described it by the impact on their lives?  When you make these larger connections, your mundane tasks not only become more palatable, but you perform them with far greater dedication, and see greater returns in performance as a result;

2498.  This is not to say that all jobs have equal meaning, but that even a rote or routine task can be meaningful if you find a good reason to be invested.  You feel productive at the end of the day.  You showed people you were smart or efficient.  You made life easier for a client or customer.  You improved your skill set.  You learned from a mistake;

2499.  You can have the best job in the world, but if you can’t find the meaning in it, you won’t enjoy it, whether you are a movie maker or an NFL playmaker;

2500.  When a manager openly expresses his faith in an employee’s skill, he doesn’t just improve mood and motivation; he actually improves their likelihood of succeeding;

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0049

2401.  Apparently, a tangerine is an acceptable substitute for an engagement ring;

2402.  Surprisingly, “Instant Power Hair Clog Remover” works really well;

2403.  How do know someone has bad BO (i.e., body odor)?  The answer is: When you can smell him (when you’re) walking ten feet behind him;

2404.  The secret to cooling down a bottle of wine is to submerge it in ice water.  The temperature will drop faster than if you placed it in the refrigerator or even the freezer.  If you can bring the water temperature below 32 degrees, that’s even better.  The secret, long practiced by restaurants, is to salt the water and periodically spin the submerged bottle.  The wine should be cold in less than twenty minutes. . . . A gel sleeve placed around the bottle in the freezer also works;

2405.  StubHub! sales end two hours before the event;

2406.  Blue lipstick is not a good look on anyone . . . unless you’re a clown;

2407.  Pasilla is a type of (chili) pepper;

2408.  Apparently, Kristin’s idea of dinner is a beer and a doughnut;

2409.  Luisa is a klepto(maniac) for big German beer mugs (particularly the Hofbräu München ones);

2410.  Apparently, Stan (of Stan’s Restaurant in D.C.) is dead;

2411.  If you like electronic dance music, you’ll probably like iHeartEvolution.com;

2412.  Max Collins (the lead singer and bassist for “Eve 6”) is Stephen Collin’s (the actor’s) nephew;

2413.  Life’s a game made for everyone and love is the prize;

2414.  Our “mental construction” – the way we conceive of ourselves – has a direct influence upon the physical aging process;

2415.  Our external “reality” is far more malleable than many of us think, and far more dependent on the eyes through which we view it.  With the right mindset, our power to dictate this reality – and in turn the results of our actions – increases exponentially;

2416.  What feels like the blink of an eye to some can feel like an eternity to others.  Depending on their mindset, each person experiences the objective reality of time differently;

2417.  Psychology has shown that mindset doesn’t just change how we feel about an experience – it actually changes the objective results of that experience;

2418.  Placebos are about 55 percent to 60 percent as effective as most active medications like aspirin and codeine for controlling pain.  The simple change in mindset – i.e., a belief that they are taking an actual drug – is powerful enough to make the objective symptom actually disappear;

2419.  The brain is organized to act on what we predict will happen next, something psychologists call “Expectant Theory.”  Dr. Marcel Kinsbourne, a neuroscientist at the New School for Social Research in New York, explains that our expectations create brain patterns that can be just as real as those created by events in the real world;

2420.  The expectation of an event causes the same complex set of neurons to fire as though the event were actually taking place, triggering a cascade of events in the nervous system that leads to a whole host of real physical consequences;

2421.  The mental construction of our daily activities, more than the activity itself, defines our reality;

2422.  When we reconnect ourselves with the pleasure of the “means,” as opposed to only focusing on the “ends,” we adopt a mindset more conducive not only to enjoyment, but to better results;

2423.  The oxtail “vaccinara” at Palena in D.C. is really good.  Ask for some bread to sop up the leftover sauce;

2424.  There’s not a lot to see at the zoo (specifically the Smithsonian National Zoo) an hour before it closes;

2425.  Don’t be someone else, but do be the best version of yourself;

2426.  On Thursday nights during football season from 4 o’clock until close, Flat Iron Steak & Saloon (FlatIronKingStreet.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria has “mug” night.  For $6.00, you get a plastic mug (that you can keep) and a draft beer.  Refills are $3.00 after that.  At the next “mug” night, you can bring back your mug and you don’t have to buy another one;

2427.  Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy;

2428.  Luisa’s an Audrey Hepburn fan;

2429.  Hannibal (i.e., George Peppard from “The A-Team”) is in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s;”

2430.  Luisa has a (serious) sweet tooth;

2431.  Ted’s Bulletin (TedsBulletin.com) in D.C. isn’t a bad place for dessert;

2432.  Apparently, Kristin only likes sweet drinks;

2433.  If you’re a vegetarian/vegan, you might want to visit VegDC.com.  It lists vegetarian/vegan restaurants, groceries and bakeries in the D.C. area;

2434.  Elena Delle Donne (of the Chicago Sky) is rather attractive. . . . She’s also a pretty good basketball player;

2435.  Casey Phillips (the digital correspondent for the Monumental Network) is rather attractive. . . . She looks great in a dress;

2436.  The WNBA has (actually) been around sixteen years. . . . Who knew?

2437.  Karl Alzner (of the Washington Capitals) hasn’t made his wife, Mandy, paint the house yet (so he says);

2438.  Apparently, congressmen eat at Bobby Van’s Grill (BobbyVans.com/NY-Ave.html) in D.C.;

2439.  A “Pittsburgh-style” steak is a steak that’s been heated to a very high temperature very quickly, so it’s charred on the outside, but still rare (or raw) on the inside;

2440.  People will rarely remember what you tell them, but they will always remember how you made them feel;

2441.  Weak people prey on weak people;

2442.  There are times when people must stand their ground.  Pick your battles wisely, but don’t initiate any unwarranted hate;

2443.  “Success” is a voyage, not an “x” on a map;

2444.  You can’t teach happiness, per se, but you can teach perspective and let her/him see that the situation s/he is born into is unique and the things s/he is accustomed to are not everyone’s reality;

2445.  Matt(hew) Shultz (the lead singer of “Cage the Elephant”) on stage kind of reminds me of Mick Jagger;

2446.  When I’m at a Muse concert, I feel like I’m some sort of resistance fighter in a crucial attack against “Big Brother” in some not too distant Orwellian future;

2447.  Aged tequila kind of tastes like Scotch/whisky;

2448.  Change her mood, not her mind.  You will never seduce a woman with facts and logic;

2449.  Luisa “loves” sushi;

2450.  Don’t clap with a (nearly) full beer in your hand (especially if you’re sitting down);

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0048

2351.  The Washington Monument is the tallest stone structure in the world;

2352.  The tacos at Taqueria Nacional (TaqueriaNational.com) in D.C. are tasty;

2353.  The 9:30 Club’s “Friends With Benefits” program (Friends.930.com) has some nice perks . . . like access to the VIP deck at Merriweather Post Pavilion;

2354.  Tiffany nicked “I Think We’re Alone Now” from Tommy James & the Shondells;

2355.  Another name for the Norton (variety of) grape is Cynthiana;

2356.  It’s crucial to establish good habits.  Positive momentum breeds positive momentum.  Negative momentum just creates more;

2357.  You must stop saying negative things to yourself.  Every time you do, you’ll believe it a little bit more – and you will act more that way;

2358.  You can’t stop your mind from coming up with things, but you can tell your mind what is unwelcome.  As soon as you hear negative self-talk, change the conversation;

2359.  Managers at the Honi-Honi Bar (Honi-Honi.com) in Deep Creek Lake, Maryland, don’t like it when you bring your own booze onto the premises;

2360.  Deep Creek Lake is manmade;

2361.  There are no natural lakes in Maryland;

2362.  Cake slowly burns in a campfire;

2363.  It’s pretty fun peeing on a campfire. . . . It’s a lot more fun than I thought. . . . It’s like playing firefighter;

2364.  The only thing you need is a driver’s license to get a temporary boating license (at least in Maryland);

2365.  I can say I’ve piloted a motorboat;

2366.  When (you’re) piloting a boat under a bridge, go under the green light;

2367.  The “up/down” switch (i.e., trim switch) on a boat’s throttle raises and lowers the prop;

2368.  (Leftover) bacon grease burns great in a campfire;

2369.  (Raw) bacon burns pretty well in a campfire;

2370.  It takes a long time to cook bacon over a campfire . . . and it isn’t very good;

2371.  Sticks of butter burn pretty well in a campfire too;

2372.  (Greasy) pepperoni burns great in a campfire too;

2373.  You’d think that popcorn thrown into a fire would pop, it doesn’t;

2374.  A slightly damp (bath) towel works great for cleaning your laptop;

2375.  Physical activity can boost mood and enhance our work performance in a number of ways by improving motivation and feelings of mastery, reducing stress and anxiety, and helping us get into flow – that “locked in” feeling of total engagement that we usually get when we’re at our most productive;

2376.  One study proved just how powerful exercise can be: Three groups of depressed patients were assigned to different coping strategies – one group took antidepressant medication, one group exercised for 45 minutes three times a week, and one group did a combination of both.  After four months, all three groups experienced similar improvements in happiness.  The very fact that exercise proved just as helpful as antidepressants is remarkable, but the story doesn’t end there.  The groups were then tested six months later to assess their relapse rate.  Of those who had taken the medication alone, 38 percent had slipped back into depression.  Those in the combination group were doing only slightly better, with a 31 percent relapse rate.  The biggest shock, though, came from the exercise group: Their relapse rate was only 9 percent!

2377.  Contrary to the popular saying, money can buy happiness, but only if used to do things as opposed to simply have things;

2378.  In his book Luxury Fever, Robert Frank explains that while the positive feelings we get from material objects are frustratingly fleeting, spending money on experiences, especially ones with other people, produces positive emotions that are both more meaningful and more lasting;

2379.  When researchers interviewed more than 150 people about their recent purchases, they found that money spent on activities – such as concerts and group dinners out – brought far more pleasure than material purchases like shoes, televisions, or expensive watches;

2380.  Spending money on other people, called “prosocial spending,” also boosts happiness.  In one experiment, 46 students were given $20 to spend.  The ones who were told to spend the money on others (for instance, by treating a friend to lunch, buying a toy for a younger sister, or donating to charity) were happier at the end of the day than the ones who had been instructed to spend the money on themselves;

2381.  Everyone is good at something – perhaps you give excellent advice, or you’re great with little kids, or you whip up a mean batch of blueberry pancakes.  Each time we use a skill, whatever it is, we experience a burst of positivity.  If you find yourself in need of a happiness boost, revisit a talent you haven’t used in a while;

2382.  When 577 volunteers were encouraged to pick one of their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed than control groups.  And these benefits lasted: Even after the experiment was over, their levels of happiness remained heightened a full six months later;

2383.  Studies have shown that the more you use your signature strengths in daily life, the happier you become;

2384.  Even the smallest moments of positivity in the workplace can enhance efficiency, motivation, creativity, and productivity;

2385.  One study found that project teams with encouraging managers performed 31 percent better than teams whose managers were less positive and less open with praise;

2386.  When recognition is specific and deliberately delivered, it is even more motivating than money;

2387.  Just as important as what you say to employees is how you say it – the best leaders know that delivering instructions in an angry, negative tone handicaps their employees before the task is even underway;

2388.  The more you make a genuine effort to avoid slipping into an apathetic or irritable tone, the more your team’s performance will benefit;

2389.  In the U.S. Navy, researchers found, annual prizes for efficiency and preparedness are far more frequently awarded to squadrons whose commanding officers are openly encouraging.  On the other hand, the squadrons receiving the lowest marks in performance are generally led by commanders with a negative, controlling, and aloof demeanor;

2390.  Gravlax is pretty much lox;

2391.  Based on Marcial Losada’s extensive mathematical modeling, 2.9013 is the ratio of positive to negative interactions necessary to make a corporate team successful.  This means that it takes about three positive comments, experiences, or expressions to fend off the languishing effects of one negative.  Dip below this tipping point, now known as the Losada Line, and workplace performance quickly suffers.  Rise above it – ideally, the research shows, to a ratio of 6 to 1 – and teams produce their very best work;

2392.  Our brains are like single processors capable of devoting only a finite amount of resources to experiencing the world.  Because our brain’s resources are limited, we are left with a choice: to use those finite resources to see only pain, negativity, stress, and uncertainty, or to use those resources to look at things through a lens of gratitude, hope, resilience, optimism, and meaning.  In other words, while we of course can’t change reality through sheer force of will alone, we can use our brain to change how we process the world, and that in turn changes how we react to it;

2393.  Happiness is not about lying to ourselves, or turning a blind eye to the negative, but about adjusting our brain so that we see the ways to rise above our circumstances;

2394.  “Reality” is merely our brain’s relative understanding of the world based on where and how we are observing it.  Most important, we can change this perspective at any moment, and by doing so change our experience of the world around us;

2395.  Sometimes you can mistake comfort for actual compatibility with another person;

2396.  Similarities strengthen relationships – the more a couple has in common, the less they have to fight about.  And this is particularly true when it comes to shared values, since they are at the root of most of our thought patterns and decisions;

2397.  It’s funny how lightning can be so destructive, yet so beautiful;

2398.  Luisa isn’t a vegetarian during Restaurant Week;

2399.  Nicklas Backstrom (of the Washington Capitals) may’ve grown a couple of inches (since 2009);

2400.  Luisa’s no longer a “Free For All” virgin;

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0047

2301.  Happiness is even more than a good feeling – it is also an indispensable ingredient of our success;

2302.  Happiness leads to success in nearly every domain of our lives, including marriage, health, friendship, community involvement, creativity, and, in particular, our jobs, careers, and businesses;

2303.  Data abounds showing that happy workers have higher levels of productivity, produce higher sales, perform better in leadership positions, and receive higher performance ratings and higher pay.  They also enjoy more job security and are less likely to take sick days, to quit, or to become burned out;

2304.  Happy CEOs are more likely to lead teams of employees who are both happy and healthy, and who find their work climate conducive to high performance;

2305.  Study after study shows that happiness precedes important outcomes and indicators of thriving.  Happiness causes success and achievement, not the opposite;

2306.  One study measured the initial level of positive emotions in 272 employees, then followed their job performance over the next eighteen months.  And they found that even after controlling for other factors, those who were happier at the beginning ended up receiving better evaluations and higher pay later on.  Another study found that how happy individuals were as college freshmen predicted how high their income was nineteen years later, regardless of their initial level of wealth;

2307.  One of the most famous longitudinal studies on happiness comes from an unlikely place: the old diaries of Catholic nuns.  These 180 nuns from the School Sisters of Notre Dame, all born before 1917, were asked to write down their thoughts in autobiographical journal entries.  The nuns whose journal entries had more overtly joyful content lives nearly ten years longer than the nuns whose entries were more negative or neutral.  By age 85, 90 percent of the happiest quartile of nuns were still alive, compared to only 34 percent of the least happy quartile;

2308.  Happiness can improve our physical health, which in turn keeps us working faster and longer and therefore makes us more likely to succeed;

2309.  Research shows that unhappy employees take more sick days, staying home an average of 1.25 more days per month, or 15 extra sick days a year;

2310.  Studies have determined that happiness functions as the cause, not just the result, of good health.  In one study, researchers gave subjects a survey designed to measure levels of happiness – then injected them with a strain of the cold virus.  A week later, the individuals who were happier before the start of the study had fought off the virus much better than the less happy individuals.  They didn’t just feel better, either; they actually had fewer objective symptoms of illness as measured by doctors – less sneezing, coughing, inflammation, and congestion;

2311.  Extensive research has found that happiness actually has a very important evolutionary purpose, something Barbara Fredrickson has termed the “Broaden and Build Theory.”  Instead of narrowing our actions down to fight or flight as negative emotions do, positive ones broaden the amount of possibilities we process, making us more thoughtful, creative, and open to new ideas;

2312.  Individuals who are “primed” – meaning scientists help evoke a certain mindset or emotion before doing an experiment – to feel either amusement or contentment can think of a larger and wider array of thoughts and ideas than individuals who have been primed to feel either anxiety or anger.  And when positive emotions broaden our scope of cognition and behavior in this way, they not only make us more creative, they help us build more intellectual, social, and physical resources we can rely upon in the future;

2313.  Positive emotions flood our brains with dopamine and serotonin, chemicals that not only make us feel good, but dial up the learning centers of our brains to higher levels.  They help us organize new information, keep that information in the brain longer, and retrieve it faster later on.  And they enable us to think more quickly and creatively, become more skilled at complex analysis and problem solving, and see and invent new ways of doing things;

2314.  A recent University of Toronto study found that our mood can actually change how our visual cortex – the part of the brain responsible for sight – processes information.  In this experiment, people were primed for either positivity or negativity, then asked to look at a series of pictures.  Those who were put in a negative mood didn’t process all the images in the pictures – missing substantial parts of the background – while those in a good mood saw everything.  Eye-tracking experiments have shown the same thing: Positive emotions actually expand our peripheral line of vision;

2315.  Positive emotions can begin to open our eyes and minds to new solutions and ideas even at a very young age.  In one interesting study, researchers asked four-year-old children to complete a series of learning tasks, such as putting together blocks of different shapes.  The first group was given neutral instructions: Please put these blocks together as quickly as you can.  The researchers gave the second group the same set of instructions, and then asked them first to briefly think about something that makes them happy.  The children who were primed to be happy significantly outperformed the others, completing the task both more quickly and with fewer errors;

2316.  Students who were told to think about the happiest day of their lives right before taking a standardized math test outperformed their peers;

2317.  People who expressed more positive emotions while negotiating business deals did so more efficiently and successfully than those who were more neutral or negative;

2318.  Veal tongue can be very tender;

2319.  Even the smallest shots of positivity can give someone a serious competitive advantage;

2320.  In addition to broadening our intellectual and creative capacities, positive emotions also provide a swift antidote to physical stress and anxiety, what psychologists call “the undoing effect;”

2321.  A quick burst of positive emotions doesn’t just broaden our cognitive capacity; it also provides a quick and powerful antidote to stress and anxiety, which in turn improves our focus and our ability to function at our best level;

2322.  Just a short humorous video clip, a quick conversation with a friend, or even a small gift of candy can produce significant and immediate boosts in cognitive power and job performance;

2323.  Neuroscientists have found that monks who spend years meditating actually grow their left prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain most responsible for feeling happy;

2324.  You don’t have to spend years in sequestered, celibate silence to experience a boost from meditation.  Take just five minutes each day to watch your breath go in and out.  While you do so, try to remain patient.  If you find your mind drifting, just slowly bring it back to focus.  Meditation takes practice, but it’s one of the most powerful happiness interventions;

2325.  Studies show that in the minutes right after meditating, we experience feelings of calm and contentment, as well as heightened awareness and empathy;

2326.  Research even shows that regular meditation can permanently rewire the brain to raise levels of happiness, lower stress, even improve immune function;

2327.  One study found that people who just thought about watching their favorite movie actually raised their endorphin levels by 27 percent;

2328.  Often, the most enjoyable part of an activity is the anticipation;

2329.  Anticipating future rewards can actually light up the pleasure centers in your brain much as the actual reward will;

2330.  A long line of empirical research, including one study of over 2,000 people, has shown that acts of altruism – giving to friends and strangers alike – decrease stress and strongly contribute to enhanced mental health;

2331.  Sonja Lyubomirsky, a leading researcher and author of The How of Happiness, has found that individuals told to complete five acts of kindness over the course of a day report feeling much happier than control groups and that the feeling lasts for many subsequent days, far after the exercise is over.  But if you want to reap the psychological benefit, make sure you do these things deliberately and consciously – you can’t just look back over the last 24 hours and declare your acts post hoc.  And they need not be grand gestures, either;

2332.  Our physical environment can have an enormous impact on our mindset and sense of well-being;

2333.  Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage; one study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory;

2334.  Studies have shown that the less negative TV we watch, specifically violent media, the happier we are;

2335.  Psychologists have found that people who watch less TV are actually more accurate judges of life’s risks and rewards than those who subject themselves to the tales of crime, tragedy, and death that appear night after night on the ten o’clock news.  That’s because these people are less likely to see sensationalized or one-sided sources of information, and thus see reality more clearly;

2336.  Supposedly, there’s a pool of about 50 pilots that fly “Marine One” (i.e., the presidential helicopter);

2337.  The truth is that you cannot have what you want unless you do something.  It’s impossible.  Maybe it’s success, wealth, or health.  In order to accomplish any one of those goals requires that you do something.  Success requires accomplishments.  Wealth requires delivering a product or service that someone is willing to buy.  Health requires eating well and exercising;

2338.  Whatever you have is a result of what you do;

2339.  There are three types of doing that are necessary to reach a goal: aspire, acquire, and apply;

2340.  True knowledge comes from putting what you’ve learned into real-world practice;

2341.  To know and not do, is to not yet know;

2342.  What do you get for rushing up an escalator (at a Metrorail station) to try and catch a train?  The answer is: A scraped up, bloody knee and a trip to the doctor(‘s office);

2343.  If it’s been over six hours since you were cut, your wound has started to heal and you can’t get stitches anymore;

2344.  Setting your vacuum cleaner to the correct height makes a big difference in its effectiveness;

2345.  I think some people just aren’t wired to be married or in a monogamous relationship;

2346.  The most common and worst mistake job seekers make: Spending all their time answering ads, or sending out their résumé to blind contacts, instead of making meaningful connections and doing face-to-face networking.  It’s the number one, catastrophic job search mistake.  It fools people into thinking they are doing a pro-active search when in fact it’s very passive;

2347.  More than 50% of jobs are never posted;

2348.  Eighty percent of jobs are found through networking or direct contact;

2349.  Dream as if you’ll live forever.  Live as if you’ll die today;

2350.  It’s $13.00 (i.e., one-way) to take the water taxi (PotomacRiverBoatCo.com) from (Old Town) Alexandria to Georgetown;