What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0191

9501.  (Wayne) Gretzky led the league in assists in each of his first 13 seasons and 16 times overall (i.e., 80% of his seasons);
9502.  If you only counted (Wayne) Gretzky’s seasons after turning 30, he’d still rank 4^th all-time in points per game;
9503.  (Wayne) Gretzky could’ve ended his career with a 1,370-game pointless streak and still would’ve been a point-per-game player (i.e., he could go more than 16 years without a point and still average a point per game in his career);
9504.  Don’t store your fresh carrots, mushrooms and potatoes in the freezer. . . . The freezing (and thawing) make(s) them mushy;
9505.  For every obstacle there is a solution.  Persistence is the key.  The greatest mistake is giving up;
9506.  Charlie (Dog) loves (the) snow (especially eating it);
9507.  Apparently, (raw) pineapple (in small amounts) is an excellent dog snack;
9508.  If you’ve ordered a dessert for carryout/takeout, check to see if there’s ice cream with it . . . so it isn’t all melted by the time you (actually) eat it;
9509.  Sam Calagione (the founder of Dogfish Head Craft Brewery) sounds like a hippie stoner (to me);
9510.  The honey chipotle (chicken) wings at Whole Foods (Market) are tasty;
9511.  The “Johnny Seafood” oven-ready, breaded shrimp are the closest to restaurant quality fried shrimp I’ve ever had/made at home;
9512.  Charlie (Dog) likes white chocolate;
9513.  Charlie (Dog) (really) likes beer (in particularly Dogfish Head’s 60 Minute IPA);
9514.  Greatness exists on the other side of pain and fear.  It exists on the other side of failure;
9515.  It’s okay to get beaten, but it’s not okay to beat yourself;
9516.  The way we act determines how we feel way more often than the way we feel determines how we act;
9517.  Do what you love is for amateurs.  Love what you do is the mantra for professionals;
9518.  Anxiety is experiencing failure in advance;
9519.  Reassurance is futile because you never have enough of it;
9520.  Forgiving does not mean condoning or making it okay that something happens.  It means that you are for giving up trying to change the past and that you are for giving up experiencing the pain of the memory over and over again;
9521.  All dates can change and so can you;
9522.  Most social stress is really anxiety about the future held in the body as tension;
9523.  Would you rather have a bad day doing something you love than a good day doing something you don’t love?
9524.  The jerk chicken sandwich at the Executive Diner (TheExecutiveDiner.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria is (pretty) tasty. . . . Their (French) fries are good too. . . . They have a nice flavor/seasoning;
9525.  Alaska was bought from Russia for about $.02/acre;
9526.  Don’t compare your actual self to a hypothetical self.  Don’t drown in a sea of “what if’s.”  Don’t clutter you mind by imagining other versions of you, in parallel universes, where you made different decisions;
9527.  The internet age encourages choice and comparison, but don’t do this to yourself.  Comparison is the thief of joy;
9528.  You are you.  The past is the past.  The only way to make a better life is from inside the present.  To focus on regret does nothing, but turn that very present into another thing you will wish you did differently;
9529.  Accept your own reality.  Be human enough not to dread the future.  Be human enough to be enough;
9530.  Accepting where you are in life makes it so much easier to be happy for other people without feeling terrible about yourself;
9531.  The Fuji apple salad with chicken at Panera Bread is tasty . . . and so is the toasted steak sandwich;
9532.  (Adding) basil on a sandwich is pretty good;
9533.  Everyone is playing the game of life according to an internal set of rules.  Just like a board game, those rules determine the game play and they determine whether the game is easy or hard, fun or frustrating;
9534.  For most people, their internal set of rules says things like: 1.  I have to work hard for my money; 2.  I have to do something to “deserve” success.  But what?  Often that is not clear; 3.  Money is easy come, easy go; 4.  More money, more problems; 5.  If I have more than I need that means I’m selfish or greedy; 6.  Money won’t make me happy; and 7.  In fact, money might even corrupt my soul;
9535.  A lot of people are playing the game of life by rules very similar to these.  And they’re not “winning.”  It’s really hard and frustrating for them.  They feel like losers.  So they have this experience of feeling like they’re failing at the game and they say to themselves: “I’m the problem.  I’m no good at this game of life.  I suck at it.  I should either try a lot harder even though I’m already so tired or I should give up and accept that I will never succeed at this game;”
9536.  They make the mistake of looking at other people who have wealth, success, freedom and ease in their lives and they say to themselves: “See, they’ve worked out how to win this game, so it must be possible.  It’s just me who sucks.”  That comparison makes them judge themselves as less than and a failure;
9537.  That’s not the problem at all.  No one could win at the game using the rules they’ve been playing by.  They don’t suck.  It’s the rules that suck;
9538.  The people, who they’re comparing themselves to, the ones who are “successful,” those people are not playing by the same set of rules;
9539.  The “winners” have an internal set of rules that are more like this: 1.  Success and wealth comes easily to me; 2.  My wealth grows and grows; 3.  Wealth and success help me to have freedom, choice, fun and ease in my life; 4.  Wealth and success facilitates my happiness; 5.  My money makes me more money without me having to do much more effort; and 6.  I’m okay and I’m worthy of love and happiness, no matter what my wealth and success status because my worth is not determined by that;
9540.  If you ever feel like the game of life is just too hard, too tiring or so frustrating that you want to scream then listen to me when I tell you: You do not suck at the game.  You are not the problem.  You have a unique gift inside of you, one that the world is waiting for and that only you can give.  You are amazing;
9541.  It’s time to change the rulebook you’re playing by so that the game can become easier, much more fun, you can stop feeling frustrated and constrained and you can finally shine to your full potential;
9542.  Apparently, a woman’s tears can reduce a man’s testosterone levels;
9543.  The toughest pill to swallow is accepting that people’s effort with you is a reflection of their interest;
9544.  The food on Qatar Airways is pretty good. . . . It’s the best airline food I’ve ever had;
9545.  Hamad International Airport (in Doha, Qatar) is the nicest airport I’ve (ever) been in;
9546.  Apparently, Hamad International Airport is (rated) the 3^rd best airport in the world;
9547.  Kombucha is (really) expensive (i.e., 30.00 QAR/$8.25 USD) in Doha, Qatar (at least in the Hamad International Airport);
9548.  They have Starbucks in Qatar;
9549.  I can say I’ve had a drink (specifically a “Million Dollar Baby” made with gin, rum, vodka, Cointreau, pineapple juice, rose syrup & lemon) in Doha, Qatar;
9550.  The boneless Buffalo chicken (wings) at Soprafino (Italian Fine Dining) in Doha, Qatar are really tasty;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0190

9451.  Try to set a goal that you can reasonably achieve within one year.  If it’s something that will be difficult to achieve in that timeframe, you might become overwhelmed and give up.  If your goal is something that will take more than one year to achieve, try to set a benchmark for what you’d like to accomplish in this first year and then build from there;
9452.  Focus on what you want not what you don’t want;
9453.  People often identify what they don’t want instead of what they do want because of fear.  Try to reframe your mindset so you’re not being guided by fear, but rather facing it head on;
9454.  Most achievers are afraid of living a life falling short of who they are, what they stand for and what they want to give to their kids or their wife or the universe.  Because of that, they’ll overcome their fears.  You can turn fear on itself;
9455.  Don’t stop after you’ve achieved your goal;
9456.  You should never stop setting goals;
9457.  You’ll feel a burst of pride and an uptick in energy right when you hit your goal.  But then what?  Without another goal to pursue and a daily sense of meaning, you will feel lost;
9458.  Without something to pursue or to look forward to, you run the risk of your life feeling stagnant;
9459.  We all need a compelling future.  We all need something that we’re going for that makes us feel alive.  If you don’t, you’re going to feel frustrated, bored and pissed off and you’re going to start looking at other things to blame;
9460.  Don’t worry about not achieving your goals;
9461.  What matters isn’t that the goal is achieved, but rather that you grow as a person on the path to achieving it;
9462.  What makes us feel alive is progress.  It’s growth.  It’s aliveness.  We grow or we die.  That’s what life is;
9463.  Remember: Growth takes different forms for different people.  Try to figure out what form of growth is most valuable to you and go from there;
9464.  You don’t just want to grow.  You want to grow so you can have an extraordinary life on your terms, a life that’s fulfilling to you;
9465.  If you have intense moments of pain in your life, look out for the window of opportunity that gets created (too) . . . and use it to your full advantage;
9466.  I (kind of) like the “beef, bean and green chile” burrito at 7-Eleven. . . . It’s not bad for a microwave burrito;
9467.  Our brains can move a million miles per hour and we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that they become our reality, but the truth is our thoughts are not facts;
9468.  Be gentle with yourself;
9469.  You don’t need to carry all of the burdens.  You’re not responsible for other people’s emotions; you don’t need to carry all that with you;
9470.  We cannot control other people’s thoughts.  You cannot control what others think and you shouldn’t stress yourself so much about doing so;
9471.  Sit with grief and allow yourself to feel it.  Grief isn’t relegated to the loss of a loved one.  The loss of life as we knew it also brings on the grieving process.  Sit with the discomfort; face it.  Stop trying to be fine; and start being real;
9472.  Take care of yourself first.  You’re the battery to the car; if you’re not taken care of, the care won’t work;
9473.  There’s never a perfect moment to have hard conversations.  You won’t always be prepared; you don’t need to stress yourself over waiting for the perfect time to initiate thoughtful discussions about important topics;
9474.  It’s healthy to set boundaries with others.  It’s okay to say “no.”  It’s okay to speak up for yourself.  It’s okay to ask for help;
9475.  It can be instinctive to approach potentially heated conversations from a place of anger or frustration, but, instead, be calm and helpful with your words;
9476.  Even if you don’t think you’re the smartest person in the room, your voice still matters;
9477.  Listen to yourself; connect with your body.  You are your best and most intuitive healer.  Your body holds great wisdom; take time to listen and get to know him/her better.  You are the expert of you;
9478.  Give yourself the empathy you freely give to others;
9479.  Don’t get so lost dwelling on past “should’ve” and “could’ve” moments that you forget about your current choices;
9480.  We may not always like our options, but they do exist;
9481.  Every day we have the choice to either be our best friend or our worst enemy.  Choose to be your best friend not your enemy;
9482.  The time is always right to do what is right;
9483.  Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that;
9484.  Apparently, Dave Matthew’s former manager’s (i.e., Ross Hoffman) daughter (i.e., Lauren) stole Elizabeth’s (high school) boyfriend;
9485.  We are doomed to blindness if we look to find ourselves in the eyes of others;
9486.  Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter;
9487.  You have power over your mind not outside events.  Realize this and you will find strength;
9488.  Wayne Gretzky was born on January 26, 1961;
9489.  (Wayne) Gretzky won the scoring title by more than 70 points 6 times. . . . The past 6 NHL scoring races were decided by a combined 60 points;
9490.  Only 1 non-Gretzky player has even won the scoring race by more than 30 points. . . . That was Mario Lemieux by 31 points in 1988-89;
9491.  If (Wayne) Gretzky never scored a goal, he still would’ve recorded 11 straight 100-point seasons and won 4 scoring titles;
9492.  A no-goal (Wayne) Gretzky would still have the most 100-point seasons of all-time and he’d be tied for the fifth-most scoring titles;
9493.  (Wayne) Gretzky won 8 consecutive MVPs at one point.  In the NHL, NBA, NFL and MLB, no other player has won more than 4 consecutive MVPs;
9494.  If you chopped (Wayne) Gretzky’s entire career numbers in half, he’d still be 17^th all-time in points;
9495.  If you halved (Wayne) Gretzky’s stats, he’d still be a first-ballot Hall of Famer;
9496.  Only 5 players have recorded 150 or more points in a season.  (Wayne) Gretzky did it 9 times (i.e., in 45% of his seasons);
9497.  Only (Wayne) Gretzky and (Mario) Lemieux have even topped 155 points in a season;
9498.  (Wayne) Gretzky is the only player to record a 200-point season and he did it 4 times;
9499.  In a 2-season stretch from 1983-84 to 1984-85, (Wayne) Gretzky scored 23 shorthanded goals;
9500.  Only 52 players have more than 23 career shorthanded goals and (Wayne) Gretzky has 73 in total, the most all-time;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0189

9401.  Everybody ends up someplace in life.  A few people end up somewhere on purpose;
9402.  The traits we don’t want to acknowledge in ourselves, we project onto others;
9403.  Notice what you see in others and how you speak about them.  The things you see the most in others are parts of you waiting to be witnessed waiting to be integrated;
9404.  When you see something “positive” in someone that you “wish” you had, you already do.  That’s why you can see it.  Say to yourself, “That’s in me too;”
9405.  When you see something “negative” in someone you attempt to judge, see this part of yourself too that’s waiting to be loved.  Say to yourself, “That’s in me too.”  The ego will put up a fight.  The soul will take a deep breath as you release self-judgment;
9406.  Money won’t solve all of your problems.  Money will solve your money problems;
9407.  All self-improvement (in 1 post): 1.  Breathe and be in the moment; 2.  Always respond with love and compassion; 3.  When you fail at 1 or 2, reflect on what pulled you off course; 4.  If it’s about someone or something else and not about you, repeat step 3; and 5.  Work on that part of you;
9408.  If hard work is the answer to wealth, we’d have a lot more rich people in the world;
9409.  You may not be responsible for your past, but you are responsible for your future;
9410.  You don’t get paid for hard work.  You get paid for the value you provide;
9411.  Easy money and hard money are worth the exact same amount;
9412.  Time and money are not related;
9413.  Hard work is not sustainable (long-term).  Even if it works for a while, it will likely stop working because you’ll burn out;
9414.  Hard work is one way to make good money, but it’s not the only way;
9415.  Become efficient in the effective;
9416.  I am not my past.  I am not my mistakes.  I am not my failures.  I am who I decide to become.  I am who I commit to become.  I commit to become the best I can be.  I forgive.  I move on.  I look forward to the new me.  My best is yet to come;
9417.  Don’t let dogs eat any of the salt or the snow (especially the slushy snow) that has been treated with an ice melt.  It can upset their stomachs causing vomiting, diarrhea and dehydration;
9418.  Check your carryout order before you leave;
9419.  I think the lobster rolls at Hank’s Oyster Bar are better than the ones at Vola’s Dockside Grill (VolasDockside.com).  I still think they have the best lobster rolls in the D.C. (metropolitan) area;
9420.  Self-sabotage looks like: 1.  Rejecting praise and compliments; 2.  Not asking for help; 3.  Pushing people away when they start to get close; 4.  Opening up and attaching others prematurely; 5.  Refusing to do something unless you can do it perfectly; 6.  Procrastinating on important projects; 7.  Putting everyone else’s needs before your own; 8.  Constantly criticizing yourself; and 9.  Isolating when you are hurting;
9421.  Perfection is the death of all progress;
9422.  Perfection doesn’t exist . . . not in writing . . . not in business . . . not even in nature;
9423.  Understand that good enough is good enough.  Put your work into the world and make it better later.  Let the world tell you what needs to be improved instead of trying to get it all right on the first try;
9424.  My parents are people too.  They aren’t perfect.  They have their own problems/traumas that they’re dealing with (too);
9425.  Armin van Buuren is a Christmas baby;
9426.  Stop waiting for Friday . . . for summer . . . for someone to do something for you . . . for life.  Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now;
9427.  You need to wait a month before testing for post-traumatic stress disorder (“PTSD”);
9428.  There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving.  And that’s your own self;
9429.  When someone tells you you’re making a terrible mistake, a lot of times what they really mean is, “That’s not what I’d choose for my life;”
9430.  It’s not a good sign when the baggage scanner takes your backpack and/or carryon out of the conveyor belt line. . . . You (probably) forgot something at the bottom of your bag and/or pocket;
9431.  Before packing for a flight, check your backpack and/or carryon for corkscrews and/or pocket knives.  You’ll either have to toss it/them or (pay to) check your backpack and/or carryon;
9432.  Apparently, airlines will stop checking bags before a flight . . . for American (Airlines) it’s about a ½ hour before (the flight);
9433.  If it’s mentionable then it’s manageable;
9434.  Cock squatting . . . check;
9435.  Elizabeth likes getting spanked with a (leather) belt;
9436.  Getting a blowjob after blowing your load in her . . . check;
9437.  Havana 1957 (Havana1957.com) has a (pretty) good Cubano/Cuban sandwich. . . . It’s huge;
9438.  Whoever invented the Cubano/Cuban sandwich was a genius;
9439.  The best Cubano/Cuban sandwich I’ve had in Miami is at the Colada Cuban Café & Grill (ColadaCubanCafe.com) (in the lobby of YVE Hotel Miami). . . . The (roasted) pork is succulent . . . and the sandwich is huge;
9440.  Elizabeth likes her clit sucked;
9441.  I can say I’ve had (Florida) stone crab. . . . It’s all right . . . , but I (still) like (Chesapeake) blue crab better/more.  (I think) it has better flavor;
9442.  Some women Facetune the shit out of their photos;
9443.  (According to Richard Biegel,) the deepest, most meaningful and long-lasting happiness comes from relationships.  These relationships are almost universally from family and based on empathy and compassion;
9444.  (According to Richard Biegel,) comparison is the thief of happiness;
9445.  (According to Richard Biegel,) fulfillment comes from following your bliss not the almighty dollar;
9446.  The pursuit matters just as much as the goal;
9447.  The purpose of a goal is not to get it.  The purpose of a goal is who you become in pursuit of it;
9448.  If you grow in the process of achieving your goal then that is success;
9449.  Set a goal with the right scope in mind;
9450.  Most people overestimate what they’re going to do in a year and they underestimate what they can do in a decade or two or three or four;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0188

9351.  Helpful criticism is about making the world a better place.  Unhelpful criticism is about making yourself feel better;
9352.  From a young age, many of us learn unconsciously that being critical of other people is an effective strategy for feeling better about ourselves;
9353.  Criticism of others is often a distraction, a form of procrastination that lets you focus on other people’s problems instead of doing the hard work of looking at your own issues;
9354.  When you ignore your own insecurities by pointing out other people’s flaws, it temporarily feels good, but that only allows your insecurities to grow.  As they grow, they become more and more painful, which means you need to use criticism more and more in order to temporarily feel better;
9355.  When you ignore your own insecurities, you get addicted to criticism as a shallow strategy for feeling better;
9356.  Ignoring your feelings often leads to relief in the moment, but, in the long run, it’s a setup for emotional insecurity and poor resilience;
9357.  Just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad;
9358.  Many of the most important things in life require feeling bad initially in order to feel much better later;
9359.  If you habitually avoid things that feel bad, you miss out on the opportunity to feel much better in the future.  This is true of finances, health, relationships and your own emotions;
9360.  If you habitually avoid anxiety and nervousness, you miss out on the opportunity to grow and take advantage of new opportunities;
9361.  If you habitually avoid sadness, it’s very hard to connect empathetically with important people in your life;
9362.  If you habitually avoid anger and frustration, it’s very hard to become assertive and decisive;
9363.  Dwelling on past mistakes or losses gives us the illusion of control(, which is why we get addicted to it);
9364.  Even though dwelling on past mistakes makes us feel excessively guilty or sad or ashamed, it also makes us feel in control.  If, deep down, the bigger fear is lack of control and helplessness then accepting a lot of sadness and chronic guilt might be a worthwhile tradeoff if it lets you avoid an even more painful feeling like helplessness;
9365.  If you want to let go of past mistakes and failures and get on with your life, you must be willing to confront and accept your helplessness and lack of control;
9366.  The last thing you want (to see) is a puppy/dog leaping at your penis/cock after getting out of the shower (naked);
9367.  A puppy/dog has hit my bare/naked penis/cock with its nose and face;
9368.  Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there;
9369.  Charlie (Dog) likes sand;
9370.  Dreams don’t work unless you do;
9371.  The butter chicken pizza at Chicago’s Pizza With-A-Twist (ChicagosPizzaTwist.com) in Arlington is pretty tasty. . . . So is the chicken curry (pizza);
9372.  Don’t try 7 stouts in a row (specifically The Virginia Beer Company’s Evil Santa spiced milk stout, Three Notch’d Brewing’s Biggie S’mores imperial stout, Angry Chair Brewing’s Loaded French Toast imperial stout, Hardywood Park Craft Brewery’s gingerbread stout & Christmas Pancakes imperial mild stout, Old Bust Head Brewing Company’s Peppermint Caramel Macchiato stout & Hi-Wire Brewing’s 10W-40 imperial stout) . . . just don’t . . . it’s too much;
9373.  Treat others the way they want to be treated;
9374.  In a recent study published in the journal The Cochrane Library, researchers from the United Kingdom conducted an elaborate review of data from nearly 100 studies and they found that people consistently consume more food and drink (i.e., more calories) when offered larger-sized portions, packages and tableware compared to when smaller-sized portions are offered;
9375.  The researchers found that adults, on average, consume about 15% more or about 250 calories, when offered larger serving sizes.  An excess of that magnitude could equate to upwards of a 10-pound weight gain over the course of a year;
9376.  (In 1838, 272) slaves were sold by the (Maryland) Jesuits to help pay for the debts of Georgetown University (then Georgetown College);
9377.  Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy and change ordinary opportunities into blessings;
9378.  The filet mignon at Bobby Van’s Steakhouse is big . . . and so good. . . . The sautéed mushrooms are pretty tasty too;
9379.  The Capital Wheel in National Harbor is (kind of) a disappointment. . . . There’s (really) not much to see;
9380.  The Winery at Bull Run (WineryAtBullRun.com) is (literally) next door to the (Bull Run) battlefield;
9381.  Dogs shouldn’t eat almonds.  They aren’t as toxic as some nuts, but it’s one of the food’s dogs can’t digest as easily as humans;
9382.  Apparently, pecans, walnuts and macadamia nuts are toxic to dogs;
9383.  Cinnamon toast tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch (cereal) . . . shocker;
9384.  It’s usually not the criticism from outsiders that holds you back.  More often, it’s your own mind worrying about what other people are going to think;
9385.  We often procrastinate not because of hurtful comments from others, but rather from our own fears about what others are going to think;
9386.  Internal fears and (internal) criticism/dialogue often hold us back from achieving our goals and many times they stop us from even getting started;
9387.  It can take a lifetime to learn that just because people criticize you it doesn’t mean they actually care about your choice to do something different;
9388.  Haters often criticize and move on so that means you can safely ignore them and continue doing your thing;
9389.  Criticism is almost always in your head;
9390.  The tendency to hold onto negative criticism is natural for most people;
9391.  According to researchers at Florida State University, we remember negative emotions (much) more strongly and in more vivid detail;
9392.  Even happy people remember more negative events than positive ones;
9393.  Scientists say that it takes about five positive events to make up for one negative one;
9394.  “Don’t look at the wall.  Your car goes where your eyes go;”
9395.  Criticism and negativity from difficult people are like a wall.  If you focus on them then you’ll run right into them.  You’ll get blocked by negative emotions, anger and self-doubt.  Your mind will go where your attention is fixed.  Criticism and negativity don’t prevent you from reaching the finish line, but they certainly can distract you from it;
9396.  If you focus on the road in front of you and on moving forward then you can safely speed past the walls and barriers that are nearby.  If you’re dealing with criticism then don’t let the wall keep you from seeing the road.  Focus on the path ahead.  Ignore the boos (they usually come from the cheap seats);
9397.  Don’t be the hater.  Don’t be the person who tears down someone else’s hard work.  The world needs more people who contribute their gifts and share their work and ideas.  Working up the courage to do that can be tough.  Support the people who display that courage;
9398.  Arkansas is the biggest producer of rice in the U.S.;
9399.  Sake is (Japanese) rice wine;
9400.  Charlie (Dog) likes to play with onions;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0187

9301.  Others know they can’t prevent bad things from happening, but they wonder and worry about them anyway.  Their worries ultimately waste their time and energy because worrying doesn’t do any good;
9302.  Focus on your influence.  You can influence people and circumstances, but you can’t force things to go your way.  In other words, you have control over your actions and behaviors, but you can’t control the outcome; concentrate on what counts;
9303.  Identify your fears.  Ask yourself what you are afraid will happen.  Usually, the worst-case scenario isn’t as tragic as you might envision.  There’s a good chance you’re stronger than you think;
9304.  Differentiate between ruminating and problem solving.  Ask yourself whether your thinking is productive.  If you are actively solving a problem, keep working on solutions.  If you’re wasting your time ruminating, change the channel in your brain;
9305.  In seeking truth, you have to get both sides of a story;
9306.  Grapes/raisins/wine are poisonous to French bulldogs;
9307.  Apparently, French bulldogs love cantaloupe;
9308.  You shouldn’t feed lemons or limes to French bulldogs.  The psoralen compounds and aromatic oils can upset their stomachs;
9309.  French bulldogs should not eat tomatoes.  Tomato plants (i.e., their stems and leaves) contain a substance called solanine that can be dangerous if dogs eat it in large quantities.  As tomatoes ripen, the solanine metabolizes meaning the toxicity is removed;
9310.  The brick oven pizza (specifically the primavera with grilled corn and sun gold tomatoes) at Palette 22 (Palette22.com) in Shirlington is pretty tasty;
9311.  Apparently, Elizabeth is friends with Dan Humphrey’s (i.e., Penn Badgley) wife/baby mama (i.e., Domino Kirke);
9312.  The person who starts out simply with the idea of getting rich won’t succeed.  You must have a larger ambition;
9313.  Our DNA differs from that of chimps and bonobos by roughly 1.6%, making us closer to them than a dog is to a fox, a white-handed gibbon to a white-cheeked crested gibbon, an Indian elephant to an African elephant or a red-eyed vireo to a white-eyed vireo;
9314.  DNA evidence indicates that the last common ancestor for apes and monkeys lived about 30 million years ago;
9315.  Anthropologist Marvin Harris argues that bonobos get a “reproductive payoff that compensates theme for their wasteful approach to hitting the ovulatory target.”  The payoff is “a more intense form of social cooperating between males and females” leading to “a more intensely cooperative social group, a more secure milieu for rearing infants and hence a higher degree of reproductive success for sexier males and females.”  The bonobo’s promiscuity confers significant evolutionary benefits on the apes;
9316.  Monogamy is not found in any social, group-living primate except us;
9317.  I am not my thoughts.  My thoughts are not a prison that I can’t escape.  Once I notice them, I can either let them go or change them.  The same goes for my beliefs.  They don’t define me;
9318.  Blaming other people is a futile exercise that doesn’t solve anything.  It creates anger and resentment and it does nothing to push you forward;
9319.  If someone wronged you, work on letting go of those bitter feelings.  Forgive.  Move on.  Focus on your actions instead;
9320.  When you start taking action, you take more responsibility for what happens in your life;
9321.  While there’s an infinite number of things you can worry about, there are only a handful of things you can control starting with your attitude, actions and behaviors
9322.  You can’t change what others say or think and you can’t decide the actions other people take.  What you can do is decide what your next step is;
9323.  There are few things more disappointing than when someone makes a promise and never delivers.  Eventually, the person’s words lose their meaning and the person herself/himself becomes devoid of trust;
9324.  If you want to help someone, think carefully about what that entails before offering to do so;
9325.  The people that speak the loudest often end up doing the least;
9326.  The next time you want to do something, take initiative and help out.  Let the results speak for themselves;
9327.  Chimps are reported to be power-mad, jealous, quick to violence, devious and aggressive.  Murder, organized warfare between groups, rape and infanticide are prominent in accounts of their behavior;
9328.  Many scientists have assumed chimpanzees are what humans would be like with just a bit less self-discipline;
9329.  Bonobo: Egalitarian and peaceful, bonobo communities are maintained primarily through social bonding between females although females bond with males as well.  Male status derives from the mother.  Bonds between son and mother are lifelong.  Multi-male-multi-female mating
9330.  Chimpanzee: The bonds between males are strongest and lead to constantly shifting male coalitions.  Females move through overlapping ranges within territory patrolled by males, but don’t form strong bonds with other females or any particular male.  Multi-male-multi-female mating;
9331.  Human: By far the most diverse social species among the primates, there is plentiful evidence of all types of socio-sexual bonding, cooperation and competition among contemporary humans.  Multi-male-multi-female mating;
9332.  Gorilla: Generally a single dominant male (the so-called “Silverback”) occupies a range for his family unit composed of several females and young.  Adolescent males are forced out of the group as they reach sexual maturity.  Strongest social bonds are between the male and adult females.  Polygynous mating;
9333.  Orangutan: Orangutans are solitary and show little bonding of any kind.  Male orangutans do not tolerate each other’s presence.  An adult male establishes a large territory where several females live.  Each has her own range.  Mating is dispersed, infrequent and often violent;
9334.  Gibbon: Gibbons establish nuclear family units; each couple maintains a territory from which other pairs are excluded.  Mating is monogamous;
9335.  Primatologist Craig Stanford found that while the chimps at Gombe are “utterly nepotistic and Machiavellian” about meat distribution, the chimps at Tai share the meat among every individual in the hunting group, whether friend or foe, close relative or relative stranger;
9336.  While data from the chimps studied by Jane Goodall and others at Gombe appear to support the idea that a ruthless and calculating selfishness is typical of chimpanzee behavior, information from other study sites may contradict or undermine this finding;
9337.  Cultural historian Morris Berman explains that if we “change things such as food supplies, population densities and the possibilities for spontaneous group formation and dissolution, . . . all hell breaks loose – no less for apes than for humans;”
9338.  Recent findings in comparative primate intelligence have led researchers Vanessa Woods and Brian Hare to wonder whether an impulse toward cooperation might actually be the key to our species-defining intelligence.  They write, “Instead of getting a jump start with the most intelligent hominids surviving to produce the next generation, as is often suggested, it may have been the more social hominids (because they were better at solving problems together) who achieved a higher level of fitness and allowed selection to favor more sophisticated problem-solving over time.”  Humans got smart, they hypothesize, because our ancestors learned to cooperate;
9339.  Though bonobos surpass even chimps in the frequency of their sexual behavior, females of both species engage in multiple mating sessions in quick succession with different males;
9340.  Among chimpanzees, ovulating females mate, on average, from 6-8 times per day and they are often eager to respond to the mating invitations of any and all males in the group;
9341.  Describing the behavior of female chimps she monitored, primatologist Anne Pusey notes, “Each, after mating within her natal community, visited the other community while sexually receptive.  They eagerly approached and mated with males from the new community;”
9342.  I was disappointed with Safeway’s “Signature Café” firecracker chicken sandwich;
9343.  The brick oven pan pizza at Mia’s Italian Kitchen (MiasItalian.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria is pretty tasty. . . . I think it’s the same crust at Palette 22. . . . They’re both owned by the same restaurant group (i.e., Alexandria Restaurant Partners);
9344.  For bonobos, female status is more important than male hierarchy, but even female rank is flexible and not binding;
9345.  Bonobos have no formalized rituals of dominance and submission like the status displays common to chimps, gorillas and other primates;
9346.  Although status is not completely absent, primatologist Takayoshi Kano, who has collected the most detailed information on bonobo behavior in the wild, prefers to use the term, “influential,” rather than “high-ranking,” when describing female bonobos.  He believes that females are respected out of affection rather than because of rank;
9347.  Joe Biden is (a Roman) Catholic;
9348.  Time offers opportunity but demands a sense of urgency;
9349.  You only struggle because you’re ready to grow, but aren’t willing to let go;
9350.  You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending;

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9251.  Dating is like gambling.  You’re expected to lose way more than you win;
9252.  Try not to become a man of success; rather a man of value;
9253.  Acting out of love (or for the right reason) doesn’t (necessarily) mean it’ll be easy or fun;
9254.  Karl Popper wrote, “In order to maintain a tolerant society, the society must be intolerant of intolerance. . . . I do not imply for instance, that we should always suppress the utterance of intolerant philosophies; as long as we can counter them by rational argument and keep them in check by public opinion, suppression would be most unwise.  But we should claim the right to suppress them if necessary even by force;”
9255.  It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed;
9256.  According to U.S. News & World Report, “Americans spend more money at strip clubs than at Broadway, off-Broadway, regional and nonprofit theaters, the opera, the ballet and jazz and classical music performances combined;”
9257.  Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves and spend without fear of bankruptcy;
9258.  When porkstrami gets a little caramelized, it tastes like bacon;
9259.  Using a (glass) cigar tube as a sex toy . . . check;
9260.  We have a tendency to focus on the negative.  Instead of reflecting on all our successes and the countless votes of support and encouragement, we tend to think about that one negative voice.  Block that out and instead highlight the bright spots;
9261.  When we view everyone with a different viewpoint as a naysayer, we’re selling ourselves (and them) short.  Constructive criticism is tremendously important for personal and professional growth and, sometimes, the people who tell us what we need to hear(, but don’t want to hear) are the folks who care about us most;
9262.  You may think that haters will go away if you apologize, but that’s like adding fuel to a fire.  To them, apologizing means they win and, not only they don’t deserve that, it also means they’re likely to heat up even more;
9263.  Judge people by their questions rather than by their answers;
9264.  What trips up the scientists is the same cognitive failing we all share: it’s hard to be certain about what we think we know, but don’t really;
9265.  Having misread the map, we’re sure we know where we are;
9266.  In the face of evidence to the contrary most of us tend to go with our gut, but the gut can be an unreliable guide;
9267.  The Food and Drug Administration tells its inspectors to ignore insect parts in black pepper unless they find more than 475 of them per 50 grams on average;
9268.  Some estimates suggest that Americans unknowingly eat anywhere from 1 to 2 pounds of insects per year;
9269.  Something feels natural or unnatural doesn’t mean it is;
9270.  Hendrick’s (gin) is really smooth;
9271.  Charlie (Dog) likes limes;
9272.  If you’re trying to get better at anything it’s almost never going to be a straight shot.  You’ll have to deal with the mess and b(ull)s(hit) that comes with it.  But once you start to expect the messiness and realize pretty much every journey has its ups and downs and that perfection doesn’t exist, you’ll have a much better chance of getting where you’re trying to go. . . . And you’ll feel a lot better about yourself along the way;
9273.  Go faster by using a successful person’s hindsight as your foresight;
9274.  Orange wine is a thing. . . . It has nothing to do with (actual) oranges;
9275.  How something “feels” is far from a reliable guide to distinguishing biological truth from cultural influence;
9276.  It’s important to understand that evolution is not a process of improvement.  Natural selection simply asserts that species change as they adapt to ever-changing environments;
9277.  One of the chronic mistakes made by would-be social Darwinists is to assume that evolution is a process by which human beings or societies become better.  It is not;
9278.  Those organisms best able to survive in a challenging, shifting environment live to reproduce.  As survivors, their genetic code likely contains information advantageous to their offspring in that particular environment.  But the environment can change at any moment, thus, neutralizing the advantage;
9279.  Despite repeated assurances that women aren’t’ particularly sexual creatures, in cultures around the world men have gone to extraordinary lengths to control female libido: female genital mutilation, head-to-toe chadors, medieval witch burnings, chastity belts, suffocating corsets, muttered insults about “insatiable” whores, pathologizing, paternalistic medical diagnoses of nymphomania or hysteria, the debilitating scorn heaped on any female who chooses to be generous with her sexuality are all parts of a worldwide campaign to keep the supposedly low-key female libido under control;
9280.  The central premise of sexual selection is that in most mammals, the female has a much higher investment in offspring than does the male.  She’s stuck with gestation, lactation and extended nurturing of the young;
9281.  Mating is rarely indiscriminate in multimale-multifemale primate groups.  A variety of factors including kinship ties, social rank, sexual attractiveness and individual sexual preferences might influence mate choice in both sexes.  It is, therefore, incorrect to label such mating systems as promiscuous;
9282.  If promiscuity suggests a number of ongoing, nonexclusive sexual relationships, then yes, our ancestors were far more promiscuous than all but the randiest among us.  On the other hand, if we understand promiscuity to refer to a lack of discrimination in choosing partners or having sex with random strangers then our ancestors were likely far less promiscuous than many modern humans;
9283.  The standard model posits that sexual exclusivity is crucial because in evolutionary times this was a man’s only way of ensuring his paternity;
9284.  Helen Fisher’s “sex contract:” men offer goods and services (in prehistoric environments, primarily meat, shelter, protection and status) in exchange for exclusive, relatively consistent sexual access;
9285.  Cucumbers on (in particular turkey) sandwiches are (pretty) tasty. . . . They also give a nice crunch (to your sandwich);
9286.  We can’t selectively numb (ourselves).  When we choose to numb our painful feelings, we’re unconsciously choosing to numb our good feelings too;
9287.  Evolutionary psychologist, David Buss, writes “Women’s reproductive resources are precious and finite and ancestral women did not squander them on just any random man.  Obviously, women don’t consciously think that sperm are cheap and eggs are expensive, but women in the past who failed to exercise acumen before consenting to sex were left in the evolutionary dust; our ancestral mothers used emotional wisdom to screen out losers.”  Buss doesn’t explain why there are still so many “losers” in the gene pool today if their ancestors were subject to such careful screening for thousands of generations;
9288.  Apparently, dogs can get (yeast) infections in their ears. . . . Who knew?
9289.  Various studies have demonstrated that women are more likely to cheat on their husbands (i.e., to have extra-pair copulations or “EPCs”) when they are ovulating and less likely to use birth control than they are when not fertile;
9290.  Women are likely to wear more perfume and jewelry when ovulating than at other points in their menstrual cycle and to be attracted to more macho-looking men (i.e., those with physical markers of more vigorous genes);
9291.  The vast majority of other female mammals advertise when they are fertile and are decidedly not interested in sex at other times;
9292.  Among primates, the female capacity and willingness to have sex any time and any place is characteristic only of bonobos and humans;
9293.  “Extended receptivity” is just a scientific way of saying that women can be sexually active throughout their menstrual cycle whereas most mammals have sex only when it “matters” when pregnancy can occur;
9294.  What anthropologist Helen Fisher has called “the classic explanation” goes like this: both concealed ovulation and extended (or, more accurately, constant) sexual receptivity evolved among early human females as a way of developing and cementing the pair bond by holding the attention of a constantly horny male mate.  This capacity supposedly worked in two ways.  First, because she was always available for sex, even when not ovulating, there was no reason for him to seek other females for sexual pleasure.  Second, because her fertility was hidden, he would be motivated to stick around all the time to maximize his own probability of impregnating her and to ensure that no other males mated with her at any time and not just during a brief estrus phase;
9295.  Anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy suggests that concealed ovulation and extended receptivity in early hominids may have evolved not to reassure males, but to confuse them.  Having noted the tendency of newly enthroned, alpha male baboons to kill all the babies of the previous patriarch, Hrdy hypothesized that this aspect of female sexuality may have developed as a way of confusing paternity among various males.  The female would have sex with several males so that none of them could be certain of paternity and, thus, reducing the likelihood that the next alpha male would kill offspring who could be his;
9296.  Control what you can (i.e., your attitude, actions and effort).  Cope with what you can’t.  Concentrate on what counts;
9297.  As humans, we tend not to consider change until not changing feels too painful to endure.  When the pain of not changing exceeds the pain of changing;
9298.  Focusing on those things that you can control can help you feel calmer and more capable of carrying on;
9299.  Even though there’s a lot you can control, there’s a brutal truth in life that can be very difficult for some people to accept: You have no control over many of the things that happen in your life;
9300.  If you resist this truth, you risk becoming a control freak, micromanaging, refusing to delegate and trying to force others to change.  This type of person thinks that if s/he gains enough control over people and situations, they can prevent bad things from happening;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0185

9201.  We’re all driven by fear to care about something because caring about something is the only thing that distracts us from the reality and inevitability of our own death.  To truly not care is to achieve a quasi-spiritual state of embracing the impermanence of one’s own existence.  In that state, one is far less likely to get caught up in various forms of entitlement;
9202.  People’s immortality projects are actually the problem not the solution; rather than attempting to implement, often through lethal force, their conceptual self across the world, people should question their conceptual self and become more comfortable with the reality of their own death;
9203.  While death is bad it is inevitable.  We should not avoid this realization, but rather come to terms with it as best we can.  Because once we become comfortable with the fact of our own death, the root terror, the underlying anxiety motivating all of life’s frivolous ambitions, we can then choose our values more freely, unrestrained by the illogical quest for immortality and freed from dangerous dogmatic views;
9204.  The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A wo/man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time;
9205.  The only way to be comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself as something bigger than yourself; to choose values that stretch beyond serving yourself, that are simple, immediate, controllable and tolerant of the chaotic world around you.  This is the basic root of all happiness;
9206.  Happiness comes from the same thing: caring about something greater than yourself, believing that you are a contributing component in some much larger entity and that your life is but a mere side process of some great unintelligible production; this fleeting sense of being part of something greater and more unknowable than themselves;
9207.  The gravity of entitlement sucks all attention inward, toward ourselves, causing us to feel as though we are at the center of all of the problems in the universe, we are the one suffering all of the injustices and we are the ones who deserve greatness over all others;
9208.  Entitle isolates us.  Our curiosity and excitement for the world turns in upon itself and reflects our own biases and projections onto every person we meet and every event we experience;
9209.  We are so materially well off yet so psychologically tormented in so many low-level and shallow ways;
9210.  People relinquish all responsibility demanding that society cater to their feelings and sensibilities;
9211.  People hold on to arbitrary certainties and try to enforce them on others often violently in the name of some made-up righteous cause;
9212.  People high on a sense of false superiority fall into inaction and lethargy for fear of trying something worthwhile and failing at it;
9213.  The pampering of the modern mind has resulted in a population that feels deserving of something without earning that something, a population that feels they have a right to something without sacrificing for it;
9214.  People declare themselves experts, entrepreneurs, inventors, innovators, mavericks and coaches without any real-life experience.  They do this not because they actually think they are greater than everybody else; they do it because they feel that they need to be great to be accepted in a world that broadcasts only the extraordinary;
9215.  Our culture today confuses great attention and great success assuming them to be the same thing, but they are not;
9216.  You are already great.  Whether you realize it or not.  Whether anybody realizes it or not.  It’s not because you launched an iPhone app, finished school early or bought yourself a sweet boat.  These things do not define greatness.  You are already great because in the face of endless confusion and certain death, you continue to choose what to care about and what not to.  This mere fact, this simple optioning for your own values in life, already makes you beautiful, already makes you successful and already makes you loved;
9217.  The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides never decides;
9218.  If we believe that we are “not enough” just the way that we are then we will constantly be trying to fill that hole or compensate for that sense of inadequacy.  Maybe with material things.  Maybe with achievements.  Maybe by pleasing others . . . there are lots of ways we do this all of which are doomed to failure because unless we heal that fundamental wound no matter what strategies we use to compensate for it, they will never be enough;
9219.  The belief in “not enough” just begets more not enough;
9220.  Some ways feeling “not enough” can show up: 1.  You feel like no matter what you do, it’s never quite good enough; 2.  You’re on a constant treadmill of working or striving to improve yourself without stopping to smell the roses; 3.  You bend over backwards to please people; 4.  You give and give, but find it hard to receive; 5.  You feel less than okay about your body or find it hard to accept the way you look; 6.  You say sorry a lot or, conversely, maybe you feel irritable a lot of the time; and 7.  You get some relief from these feelings by shopping, drinking, eating, working, watching television, sleeping or maybe even exercising, but the relief doesn’t last;
9221.  Peace isn’t something that you ultimately receive when you slow down the pace of your life.  Peace is what you’re capable of being and bringing to every encounter and event in the waking moments of your life.  Most of us are waging a nonstop internal mental skirmish with everyone we encounter.  Being peaceful is an inner attitude that you can enjoy when you’ve learned to silence your incessant, inner dialogue.  Being peaceful isn’t dependent on what your surroundings look like.  It seldom has anything to do with what the people around you think, say or do.  A noiseless environment isn’t a requirement;
9222.  Apparently, there are salivary/spit glands under your tongue;
9223.  The opposite of happiness is hopelessness and endless grey horizon of resignation and indifference;
9224.  Chronic anxiety is a crisis of hope.  It is the fear of a failed future;
9225.  Depression is a crisis of hope.  It is the belief in a meaningless future;
9226.  When people prattle about needing to find their “life’s purpose” what they really mean is that it’s no longer clear to them what matters, what is a worthy use of their limited time here on earth, in short, what to hope for;
9227.  The most tender fried (chicken) wings I’ve ever had are the confit wings at Bastille (Restaurant & Wine Bar) in (Old Town) Alexandria . . . and the espelette (dipping) sauce is great;
9228.  I can still say I’ve never had a bad dessert at Bastille (Restaurant & Wine Bar);
9229.  I’m not afraid of storms for I’m learning how to sail my ship;
9230.  Getting a blowjob for (buying )a(n expensive )purse . . . check (. . . yes, it’s very cliché ). . . coming in her mouth . . . (double) check;
9231.  You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want;
9232.  There may be some things in life you can’t control, but you are in control of what you choose to believe;
9233.  John Thompson, Jr. was the first African-American/black head coach to win a NCAA men’s basketball national championship;
9234.  Making out and “traumatizing” an 11-year old . . . check;
9235.  Apparently, I know John Thompson III’s cousin (i.e., his mom’s sister’s daughter);
9236.  Cheerwine . . . a sweeter version of Cherry Coke;
9237.  “Poppas pork belly B.L.T.” (i.e., crispy tender pork belly with bacon, Airlie fresh tomatoes, lettuce & fried onion straws) from PoppaDukes BBQ (PoppaDukesBBQ.com) is pretty tasty . . . bacon topped with bacon . . . yum;
9238.  There are 2 ½ glasses (of wine) in one (375 mL) can of wine;
9239.  (Attempted) “munching” in a hotel pool . . . check;
9240.  The “Berkshire pulled pork Sammy” (with “Sweet & Sassy BBQ” sauce) from PoppaDukes BBQ is great. . . . The partially caramelized sauce on the pulled pork adds so much flavor;
9241.  (I can say) I’ve gone to a wedding during COVID-19.  It’s (definitely) different.  There were separate RSVPs for the (wedding) ceremony, cocktail hour and the reception.  Tables were spread out (both) at cocktail and the reception and people wore masks;
9242.  Going to a wedding with the girlfriend . . . check;
9243.  The Italian cream wedding cake (i.e., almond coconut cake, almond cream & caramel buttercream filling & vanilla buttercream frosting) at Becky & Kevin’s wedding maybe the best wedding cake I’ve ever had;
9244.  Apparently, there are girls’ bikes;
9245.  Elizabeth likes riding bikes;
9246.  Work-life balance is a cultural myth.  It’s a fundamentally flawed and unachievable concept.  The notion of a work-life balance suggests that we should have this perfect balance between our personal and professional responsibilities at any given time.  Life is seasonal.  There may be seasons when the scales tip in favor of our professional responsibilities and aspirations and there may be seasons when our personal lives take priority.  It’s not all or nothing; it’s just not necessarily 50-50.  What works for one person, may not work for you.  And what works for you today, may not work for you down the road.  The seasons of life can also extend to your spirituality, relationships, health, fitness and other aspects of life;
9247.  It’s not about how much time; it’s about being intentional with your time;
9248.  We all get the same 365 days.  The only difference is what we do with them;
9249.  We all get the same 24 hours.  Are you living intentionally with yours?  Are you present when you’re with your family?  Are you zeroed in on the opportunity at hand?  Or are you distracted by everything else you could be doing?
9250.  Quit aiming for someone else’s idea of balance and focus your target on living intentionally;