4351. I (think
I) have male “resting bitch face” (i.e., “R.B.F.”);
4352. Why do I
feel pissed (off) for being shamed (by a total stranger) into standing for the
National Anthem? (I think) it’s probably
because (of insecurity that) I want people to think I’m a good person and her
glaring disapproval made me feel otherwise.
(Deep down) I know I was wrong, I just didn’t like being called out on
it;
4353. Parents
don’t like it when you talk about (sex) orgies on cruise ships when they’re sitting
in the row in front of you with their kids at the circus;
4354. Most dogs
that behave badly have been conditioned to do so by ignorant or inconsistent
owners;
4355. In many
ways, humans aren’t much different from pets.
People often behave the way they have been trained to behave. For example, if a person gives his dog a
treat when he pees on the carpet, the dog will keep peeing on the carpet. The same is true for humans. If the “nice guy” reinforces his partner’s
undesirable behaviors, she will keep behaving in undesirable ways;
4356. In dog
obedience school, if you want an undesirable behavior to go away, you stop
paying attention to it. The same is true
in relationships;
4357. When
applying for a job, your focus should be on the person or company that you want
to start paying you. More specifically:
1. What basic qualifications is this
employer looking for? If I’m being honest
with myself, do I meet these basic qualifications?; 2. Why does this employer need someone in this
position?; 3. What problem(s) are they
trying to solve with who they hire for this role?; and 4. What specific qualities or experiences have I
had that can solve the employer’s problem in a unique and effective way? If you can answer these questions honestly,
you will stop wasting your time applying for positions that are not a good
fit. Your résumé will jump out at the
employer as someone who understands what they’re looking for;
4358. If you
can articulate someone’s problem better than they can, they will automatically
assume you have the answer;
4359. A lot of
the time, an employer is ultimately trying to solve one of two problems when
hiring: 1. How does our company make
more money?; or 2. How does our company
save more money?
4360. Dr. John
Gottman has spent decades studying interaction between couples. He’s amassed so much data that he can sit
down with any couple, and within a few minutes of watching them converse,
predict with 94 percent accuracy which couples will later divorce. He took his mathematical formulations even
further to discover a magic ratio which he uses in his predictions. He discovered that couples who maintain a
ratio of five positive interactions to each negative interaction have
relationships that last. Marriages that
fall below a five-to-one ratio usually fail;
4361. If you
were to reward your most important clients, what would you do? How much effort would you be willing to put
into it? How about spending that time,
energy and attention on your wife/marriage?
4362. If you
make sure to treat your spouse as good as or better than you treat your
customers, it will be easier to maintain a healthy five-to-one ratio of
positive and negative interactions. And
it will be easier to have a long, happy marriage;
4363. Quality
questions create a quality life.
Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better
answers;
4364. I think
it’s true that everyone is perfect (the way they are) in that everyone has the
ability (in themselves) to succeed and be an ideal version of themselves, but
that doesn’t mean that they’re there yet and that it won’t take
self-improvement, hard work and determination to get there;
4365.
Apparently, “Gigi” Hadid was born on April 23rd;
4366. The
choices we make today lead to the opportunities we have tomorrow;
4367. Multiple
new studies of consumer buying habits and behavior find that spending on
yourself alone is seldom as satisfying over the long-term as sharing with
others, and better still, giving selflessly;
4368. Elizabeth
Dunn and Michael Norton, authors of “Happy Money: The Science of Smarter
Spending,” conducted one experiment in which they handed out Starbucks gift
cards on a university campus. Some
students were instructed to buy treats for themselves. Another group was asked to pass their gift
cards on. A third group was asked to
purchase something for a stranger and to spend time with that stranger at
Starbucks. When Dunn and Norton followed
up, they found the happiest gift card recipients were those students who
treated a stranger and then shared in the experience;
4369. Perhaps
more relevant to all of us, Dunn and Norton report that consistently using
available funds to purchase experiences, such as trips, concerts and special
meals that are shared with family or friends, always produces longer-lasting
satisfaction than buying material goods for ourselves alone. An added benefit of such social spending is
that it often draws us closer to those with whom we share the special experiences;
4370. People
who are grateful are likely to be happier, hopeful and energetic, and they
possess positive emotions more frequently.
Individuals also tend to be more spiritual or religious, forgiving,
empathetic and helpful, while being less depressed, envious or neurotic;
4371. One
simple way to cultivate gratitude is to literally count your blessings. Keep a journal and regularly record whatever
you are grateful for that day. Be
specific. Listing “my friends, my
school, my dog” day after day means that “gratitude fatigue” has set in. Writing “my dog licked my face when I was
sad” keeps it fresher. The real benefit
comes in changing how you experience the world.
Look for things to be grateful for and you’ll start seeing them
everywhere;
4372. Living
wealthy can be achieved not by doing anything differently, but by simply
appreciating what we already have;
4373. Happiness
must be in the journey if there’s even a chance for it to be in the
destination;
4374. Live
deliberately and make good decisions today to unleash your happiness;
4375. A number
of traits to consciously look for when creating new romantic relationships (in
no particular order): 1. Passion;
2. Integrity; 3. Happiness; 4.
Intelligence; 5. Sexual
assertiveness; 6. Financial
responsibility; and 7. Commitment to personal
growth. “Nice guys” have a strong
tendency to try to do everything “right.”
This list isn’t meant as a magic formula. There are no perfect people and no perfect
relationships. But by consciously
looking for the traits listed above in a prospective partner, nice guys can
save themselves a lot of grief and improve their chances of actually finding
what they are looking for;
4376. Women
consistently say that even though they may be initially drawn to a “nice guy’s”
pleasing demeanor, over time they find it difficult to get excited about having
sex with him. Often the partner feels
defective, but it is really not her fault.
There is just very little about the nice guy persona to flip a switch or
arouse a prospective partner. Once
again, by doing the opposite of what works, nice guys prevent themselves from
getting the sex they want;
4377. There’s
not much nightlife in Havre de Grace, Maryland;
4378. (I can
say) I’ve met (former University of Virginia basketball player) Jason Clark (at
Jamie & Ty’s wedding);
4379. Life is
not linear. Neither should the pathways
of getting started;
4380. As
recently as the 1970s, a teenager had a number of options after graduating from
high school: get a good-paying job right away, enlist in the military, find an
apprenticeship in a trade or go to college.
A teenager today really has only two of those options still available;
the military or college. Fewer than 1
percent of Americans serve in the military, so most go to college right after
high school. Many of them are simply not
ready for college or need a break from the intensity of school;
4381. The
greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. Indeed, our natural response to being dumped
by a dating partner or getting picked last for a team is not just to lick our
wounds but to become intensely self-critical.
We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings and feel disgusted with
ourselves. In other words, just when our
self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further. Doing so is emotionally unhealthy and
psychologically self-destructive yet every single one of us has done it at one
time or another;
4382. Most
rejections, whether romantic, professional, and even social, are due to “fit”
and circumstance. Going through an exhaustive
search of your own deficiencies in an effort to understand why it didn’t “work
out” is not only unnecessarily, but misleading;
4383. When your
self-esteem takes a hit it’s important to remind yourself of what you have to
offer (as opposed to listing your shortcomings). The best way to boost feelings of self-worth
after a rejection is to affirm aspects of yourself you know are valuable. Make a list of five qualities you have that
are important or meaningful – things that make you a good relationship prospect
(e.g., you are supportive or emotionally available), a good friend (e.g., you
are loyal or a good listener) or a good employee (e.g., you are responsible or
have a strong work ethic). Then choose
one of them and write a quick paragraph or two (write, don’t just do it in your
head) about why the quality matters to others and how you would express it in
the relevant situation. Applying
emotional first aid in this way will boost your self-esteem, reduce your
emotional pain and build your confidence going forward;
4384. As social
animals, we need to feel wanted and valued by the various social groups with
which we are affiliated. Rejection
destabilizes our need to belong, leaving us feeling unsettled and
socially untethered. Therefore, we need to
remind ourselves that we’re appreciated and loved so we can feel more connected
and grounded. If your work colleagues
didn’t invite you to lunch, grab a drink with members of your softball team
instead. If your kid gets rejected by a
friend, make a plan for them to meet a different friend instead and as soon as
possible. And when a first date doesn’t
return your texts, call your grandparents and remind yourself that your voice
alone brings joy to others;
4385. Emotion
is created by motion;
4386. Who you
surround yourself with, who you associate to is who you will become;
4387. The point
in which change happens is a decision.
Every change in your life that you want will come from something simple,
a decision;
4388. Nothing
in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it;
4389. You can’t
control all events, but you can always control what things mean. When you control the meaning of something,
you control the key and the secret to life itself at least the quality of life
you want;
4390. Massive
action can be a cure-all when you know what you’re after and you know why you
want it;
4391. The
number one fear people have is failure.
The reason is that if they feel that they fail, they won’t be
loved. They’ll be rejected. They’ll be hurt. They’ll be judged. So what they’re really afraid is losing
love. And they think this failure will
lead to that rejection or loss of love;
4392. The truth
of the matter is you can’t fail unless you don’t try. If you try something and it doesn’t work, you
just learn from it and it’ll make you better the next time you go about it;
4393. Know what
you’re getting;
4394. You need
to have sensory acuity. Sensory acuity
is the idea that you want to become acutely sensitive to whether what you’re
doing is working or not;
4395. Sensory
acuity is really the measure of a person’s intelligence.
4396. If you’ve
tried everything, you’d have what you want;
4397. Whatever
you perceive, will be true for you;
4398. The first
belief you must have to have lasting change is that change is a “must” and not
a “should;”
4399. Should
never happens. “Should” you do when it’s
convenient. Should is not consistent;
4400. It must
change and I must change it. I can
change it;
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