What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0099

4901.  Part of Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport used to be Abingdon Plantation, the birthplace of George Washington’s step-granddaughter, Eleanor Parke Custis;

4902.  Apparently, the “holiday turkey and stuffing panini” at Starbucks makes its appearance after Halloween;

4903.  If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you won’t find it in the opinions or the beliefs that have been handed to you.  Rather than trying to be what everyone else expects you to be, live your life by your own rules to be happy and find inner peace;

4904.  The bacon maple doughnut at Sugar Shack (Donuts) (SugarShackDonuts.com) is pretty good;

4905.  Calmness does not mean lack of concern; it means the ability to separate the real from the unreal and thereby to take sensible action;

4906.  There are only two possible approaches to dealing with upsetting circumstances in the present.  One is to change the circumstance; the other is to change the mind which is experiencing the upset.  Sometimes finding the appropriate way to change the circumstances is the most sensible, but there is always another option.  S/he can realize that there is no need to give any sight or sound the power to upset her/him.  S/he can choose to see the disturbance as stemming from her/his mind and not from the event.  Then, s/he can find a solution;

4907.  There are always going to be thoughts and events that try to pull our attention away from the here and now.  Each is an opportunity to practice the all-important art of concentration;

4908.  Freedom from mental freak-outs happens as one’s peace of mind becomes more and more a function of inner resources and less and less dependent upon externals;

4909.  Letting go of attachments does not mean losing anything (i.e., a child does not risk losing his thumb when s/he stops sucking it); it does mean releasing our grip on things and our desire to control them (i.e., it is the grip on wealth which makes a miser uptight and unhappy not the wealth itself);

4910.  Letting go means allowing joy to come into your life instead of contriving to have a good time; learning to appreciate the love and beauty already happening around you rather than trying to manufacture something which you think isn’t there; letting problems be solved in the unconscious mind as well as by straining with conscious effort;

4911.  Many people carry around with them an image of the kind of person they wish they were.  When our behavior does not seem to measure up to our ideal, we grow dejected and then start trying hard to correct it (i.e., perhaps I should take a series of lessons, or a course on personality development, or read a book about how to become less self-critical, or undergo therapy, or join an encounter group).  Such steps are not necessarily foolish, but what is needed is not so much the effort to improve ourselves, as the effort to become more aware of the beauty of what we already are.  As we begin to see and appreciate our essential selves, we manifest automatically that beauty and our true capacities, simply by letting them happen;

4912.  “Abandon” is a good word to describe what happens when one feels s/he has nothing to lose.  S/he stops caring about the outcome and goes all out;

4913.  The true meaning of detachment means letting go of the concern of “self 1” and letting the natural concern of a deeper self take over.  It is caring, yet not caring; it is effortless effort.  It happens when one lets go of attachment to the results of one’s actions and allows the increased energy to come to bear on the action itself;

4914.  In the language of karma yoga, this is called action without attachment to the fruits of action, and ironically when the state is achieved the results are the best possible;

4915.  The ghosts of the past and the monsters of the future disappear when all one’s conscious energy is employed in understanding the present;

4916.  The light which dispels the shadows of our mental projections is the light of our own consciousness;

4917.  When we understand something, we may have cause to be wary of it, but there is no fear.  Understanding the present moment, the only time when any action can occur, requires concentration of mind; the ability to keep the mind focused in the here and now;

4918.  Consciousness is the energy of light which makes an experience knowable just as a light bulb in the forest illuminates its surroundings.  The brighter the light, the more that is known or understood about one’s experience.  When the light is dim because some of our energy is leaking into regrets over the past or fears of the future or is in some way wasted in resisting the flow of life, then one’s experience is filled with shadows and distortions.  But when most of our conscious energy is brought to bear on the present with a sincere desire to understand what is before us, then something called “higher consciousness” occurs.  It is called “higher” merely because more is seen and understood than before.  It is something like walking up a mountain and having an increasing view of what is going on in the valley below except that in the case of increased consciousness you are not only able to see more because of your point of view, but you can also see the subtler details with greater clarity;

4919.  The art of concentration is basically the art of experiencing ever more fully whatever is in the here and now for you;

4920.  Concentration is said to be the master art because all other arts depend on it; progress in this, as in any art, is achieved only through practice;

4921.  There is no life situation where one cannot practice focusing one’s full attention on what is happening at the moment.  Normally, we tend to concentrate only when something we consider important is happening, but all moments are important ones and worth paying attention to for each moment can increase her/his understanding of herself/himself and life;

4922.  In the final analysis it is our state of consciousness which is the determining factor in our appreciation of the beautiful, the true or the loving.  A person may own an exquisite oil painting, but if s/he can’t appreciate its beauty, how valuable really is that painting to her/him?  Another person may own nothing beautiful, but if her/his consciousness is attuned to beauty, s/he is rich because s/he will always be surrounded by beauty;

4923.  The fool is a fool because he doesn’t know how to learn from her/his experience; the wise person is wise because s/he does;

4924.  Every heightening of consciousness enables one to appreciate more fully the experiences which life offers;

4925.  Changes in consciousness alter our lives automatically because it is only through consciousness that we experience life;

4926.  Only when a person is paying attention to something s/he really loves can s/he concentrate her/his mind and find true satisfaction;

4927.  We can’t run and we can’t hide from ourselves because everywhere we go, we’re there;

4928.  Apparently, women lie about their age on dating apps (specifically Italian women from Ischia);

4929.  Anxiety is fixated being trapped in the future and depression is being trapped in the past;

4930.  Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.  All natural forces flow between two poles.  Masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of sexual feeling.  This is sexual polarity;

4931.  It is up to you: you can have a loving friendship between two similars, but you need a more masculine and a more feminine partner in the moments when you want strong sexual polarity;

4932.  The “mission” or the search for freedom is the priority of the masculine, whereas the search for love is the priority of the feminine;

4933.  Even though all people have both masculine and feminine qualities that they could use in any moment, most men and women also have a more masculine or feminine core.  And this shows up in their regularly chosen entertainments, as much as in their preferred sexual play;

4934.  So, about 90% of people have either a more masculine or a more feminine sexual essence.  They would like to be ravished by or to ravish, their intimate partner, at least some of the time, in addition to having a loving friendship.  This holds true for homosexual and heterosexual people alike;

4935.  About 10% of people, men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, have a more balanced sexual essence.  It doesn’t really matter to them whether their lover is physically stronger or more vulnerable than them.  Sexual polarity just isn’t that important to them in relationships;

4936.  Most people are forgetting that the sameness that works in the office does not work in intimacy for about 90% of couples: those couples composed of partners with masculine and feminine essences rather than balanced essences.  If sexual passion is to flow in these polarized intimacies, masculine and feminine differences should be magnified, not diminished, in moments of intimacy.  When these polarities are lessened due to family and work obligations, sexual attraction is diminished, along with spiritual depth and physical health;

4937.  When you deny your true core, you deny the possibility of true and real love.  Love is openness through and through.  And true spirituality is the practice of love, the practice of openness.  A person who denies their own essence and hides their true desires is divided and unable to relax into the full openness of love.  Their spirit becomes cramped and kinked.  Unable to feel the natural ease and unconstrained power of their own core, they feel threatened and frightened.  This fear is the texture of their inability to open fully in love.  Such a person is spiritually handicapped and obstructed at heart even though they may have achieved a safe relationship and a successful career;

4938.  As a culture, we have advanced in terms of personal freedom, sexual equality and social rights, but we have remained spiritually thwarted and afraid.  For the sake of individual autonomy and social fairness, with only good intentions in mind, we have erroneously begun to deny, smooth out and neutralize our masculine and feminine differences.  In doing so, people often end up denying their deepest core desires, which are rooted in their true sexual essence.  A lot of people today think they have a balanced sexual essence, but in most cases they are actually suppressing the natural desires which spring from their real masculine or feminine core;

4939.  Apparently, women don’t read profiles on dating apps either;

4940.  Stop waiting for the good stuff.  As of now, spend a minimum of one hour a day doing whatever you are waiting to do until your finances are more secure, or until the children have grown and left home, or until you have finished your obligations and you feel free to do what you really want to do.  Don’t wait any longer.  Don’t believe in the myth of “one day when everything will be different.”  Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you’ve been born to do, now;

4941.  Most postponements are excuses for a lack of creative discipline.  Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a person, who really wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a person, who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place.  Find out today whether you are willing to do what it takes to give your gift fully.  As a first step, spend at least an hour today giving your fullest gift, whatever that is for today, so that when you go to sleep at night you know you couldn’t have lived your day with more courage, creativity and giving;

4942.  In addition to the myth that one day your life will be fundamentally different, you may believe and hope, that one day your woman will be fundamentally different.  Don’t wait.  Assume she’s going to be however she is, forever.  If your woman’s behavior or mood is truly intolerable to you, you should leave her and don’t look back (since you cannot change her).  However, if you find her behavior or mood is merely distasteful or a hassle, realize that she will always seem this way: The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine;

4943.  The next time you notice yourself trying to fix your woman so that she will no longer (fill in the blank), relax and give her love by touching her and telling her that you love her when she is this way (whatever you filled in the blank with).  Embrace her, or wrestle with her, or scream and yell for the heck of it, but make no effort to bring an end to that which pisses you off.  Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you.  You can’t escape the tussle with the feminine.  Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.  The love that you magnify may realign her behavior, but your effort to fix her and your frustration never will;

4944.  The world and your woman/man will always present you with unforeseen challenges.  You are either living fully, giving your gift in the midst of those challenges, even today, or you are waiting for an imaginary future which will never come;

4945.  Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease or women;

4946.  Your edge is where you stop short or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears;

4947.  Perhaps you are comfortable with your life and you fear the lifestyle change that might accompany a change in career even though the new career will be closer to what you really want to do with your life.  You’ve spent 15 years developing your career, and you’re afraid to let go of it and start fresh even though you know that you spend most of your life doing things you have no real interest in doing.  You could be making money in more creative ways, but you spend too much time watching TV rather than being creative;

4948.  A fearful man, who still leans into his fear, living at his edge and putting his gift out from there, is more trustworthy and more inspirational than a fearful man, who hangs back in the comfort zone, unwilling to even experience his fear on a day to day level;

4949.  Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being.  Everything other than this process is secondary.  Your job, your children, your wife, your money, your artistic creations, your pleasures, they are all superficial and empty, if they are not floating in the deep sea of your conscious being;

4950.  You should always listen to your woman and then make your own decision.  If you choose to go with your woman’s suggestion even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is wiser, you are, in effect, saying, “I don’t trust my own wisdom.”  You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this.  You are weakening your woman’s trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don’t?