What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0126

6251.  There are far more activities and opportunities in the world than we have time and resources to invest in.  Although many of them may be good or even very good, the fact is that most are trivial and few are vital.  That’s the crucial difference between blessing and burden.  We can fill our time with very good things and end up saddled, straddled and stressed.  That’s because good things might still be trivial;

6252.  Essentialism is a lifestyle focused on discerning the difference between the “many trivial” and the “vital few.”  Essentialists are committed to the vital few in every circumstance they can manage.  The benefits include not only lower stress, but the satisfaction of developing real excellence and making a vital contribution through your callings;

6253.  When we forget we have the power of choice, we allow others to determine what fills our time instead of ourselves.  Essentialists remain empowered by choice to determine what they do and don’t do with their time;

6254.  For every ten things nonessentialists do, essentialists do one.  Instead of diffusing their energy, they focus it and gain momentum to make more impact than they otherwise could.  When we complain about being “spread too thin” at work, this is a sure sign we need to shed tasks and train our focus;

6255.  To do one thing is to miss out on others and maybe even essential things.  The more we commit to doing, the more strained our schedules are for the things that are truly important including family, rest and play.  Essentialists weigh every opportunity against the potential tradeoffs;

6256.  Essentialists don’t consider the minimum requirements for a “yes.”  They use extreme criteria: Is this exactly what I want?  Am I ideal for this opportunity?  If it isn’t a clear “yes” then it’s a clear “no;”

6257.  The role of a journalist is not to regurgitate facts, but to explain the meaning of those facts.  Essentialists act as journalists of their own experience.  Instead of allowing others to determine what matters and why, essentialists make that determination for themselves;

6258.  Essentialists pass on about 90% of opportunities.  If we are clear on what we do, we can filter out a thousand things we shouldn’t.  To gain this clarity requires asking hard questions, making difficult tradeoffs and exercising self-discipline.  Essentialists know it’s totally worth investing in the 10% of opportunities that make sense for them;

6259.  Saying “no” to the many trivial requests, essentialists are really saying “yes” to what matters most in their lives: their faith, their family, their health and their calling;

6260.  To be successful, satisfied, fulfilled people, we need to save our energy and creativity for just a few essential opportunities and pass on all the rest.  That will mean some hard choices, but we’re tricking ourselves to think burdening ourselves with superfluous “yeses” will make our life more comfortable.  We’ll just shortchange the important activities and people in our lives;

6261.  Apparently, I can have deep conversations;

6262.  Elizabeth thinks I’m smarter than she is;

6263.  (It’s good, but) Roti Modern Mediterranean (Roti.com) is really just Mediterranean Chipotle;

6264.  The Anthem (TheAnthemDC.com) in D.C. has Happy Hour (drink) prices upstairs before the music starts;

6265.  Elizabeth doesn’t like vinegar;

6266.  Women are self-conscious about their bodies (just) as much as men are (if not more);

6267.  Apparently, I don’t have an ounce of fat on me (. . . not really);

6268.  Apparently, the G(räfenberg)-spot is a small, spongy impression/indentation just inside the front of the vagina;

6269.  Apparently, Elizabeth is a 32 double “D;”

6270.  Christmas doesn’t come only once.  Christmas came at least 4 times.  After that, Christmas lost count/track;

6271.  I can say I’ve been to “Walk the Moon’s” first concert on their “Press Restart” tour (at “The Anthem” in D.C.);

6272.  Let’s remember that our goals are just tools we are using to serve us.  And if they’re not serving us, we get to change them;

6273.  When you follow your “why,” you feel like your life is meaningful.  When you make progress on fulfilling your “why,” it makes you feel like your precious time on this earth is worth trading for what you’re doing;

6274.  When you do work in line with your “why,” you tap into an energy and passion that makes achieving your goals feel effortless.  Even when you’re working hard, you just love it.  When you’re not really following your “why,” you don’t feel like that;

6275.  I don’t love every task, but I love my “why,” so if the task serves my “why,” I will have the motivation to do it.  Even if it’s hard.  If it doesn’t, then I probably won’t;

6276.  If you find that you set goals for yourself that you don’t fulfill or you constantly find it challenging to stick to the plan, maybe you’re just not working on stuff that serves your “why;”

6277.  No matter how much you want a goal, no matter how carefully you plan for it and no matter how diligently you execute on that plan, if you don’t really believe you can have it on a subconscious level or if you have a conflicting subconscious desire that will be violated if you do achieve your goal, then you will not achieve it.  Your subconscious will find a way to sabotage the outcome;

6278.  A lot of people fail in their goal setting because they set their expectations too high or they come from a place of feeling like they’re not good enough so they set goals that actually feel more like punishments.  They prioritize things that they think they “should” do, but, if they did some digging, they’d find those goals are not actually that important to them;

6279.  Clarity about your goals is super important;

6280.  Clarity means: 1.  Clearly defined outcomes of what and how much.  Specifics.  How do you define “success” on this goal?  2.  Clearly defined milestones.  For example, how will you know if you’re making progress on your goal?  How will you measure that?  And how will you know when you’ve been blown off course? and 3.  Clearly defined deadlines.  By when do you want to have milestones completed and by when do you want to have achieved your definition of “success” on this goal?

6281.  Desire + Knowledge + Belief = Success;

6282.  Desire + Knowledge – Belief = Frustration;

6283.  Without the vital ingredient of subconscious belief alignment, where you have a core belief in your ability to attain the goal, no amount of desire or knowledge (or even effort) is going to get you there.  It’s one thing to want a goal, it’s often another thing entirely to believe you can have it;

6284.  If your subconscious mind doesn’t believe you can have it, then you won’t get it.  You’ll fall prey to “subconscious sabotage” and you’ll find that you either spin your wheels, things fall apart at the last minute or you encounter so many obstacles that you just can’t seem to make any progress on your goal;

6285.  When your subconscious beliefs are in alignment with your goals, then your subconscious is working for you 24/7 to achieve your goals.  It never rests.  And when you have that happening, then you need to listen to the prompts and instructions coming back out from your subconscious mind;

6286.  The subconscious doesn’t communicate in words.  It communicates in feelings and pictures. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a feeling is worth even more.  So the subconscious mind processes a ton of information and then it gives you a feeling.  Or it draws your attention to a sign.  Something visual.  Or maybe it will latch onto something someone says.  Or it just gives you a sense of knowing, a clarity.  Call it gut feeling, intuition, instinct, a revelation or a moment of clarity.  Call it whatever you want.  Just learn how to listen to it and act upon it;

6287.  You manifest what you are, not what you want;

6288.  Neuroscience shows us that the pursuit of gratitude plus compassion creates more happiness in our lives than the pursuit of happiness itself;

6289.  If you manifest what you are, then the place to start is by cultivating the key character traits and attitudes of an abundant person;

6290.  5 key attitudes of an abundantly minded person: 1.  Gratitude; 2.  Compassion; 3.  Generosity; 4.  Accountability; and 5.  Forgiveness;

6291.  Gratitude is listed as #1 for a reason because it’s the most powerful place to start.  If you actively cultivate an attitude of gratitude in your life, you’ll very soon access an inner experience of abundance.  Recognizing and celebrating the value of what you’ve already got in your life, on a daily basis, is the fast-track technique to attracting more gratitude-inducing relationships, experiences and stuff into your life;

6292.  Compassion is when you have an awareness and a deep emotional connection with the plight of others (also called empathy) and that awareness is combined with a desire to do something to help.  When compassion is combined with gratitude, it’s even more powerful.  Neuroscience shows us that the pursuit of gratitude plus compassion creates more happiness in our lives than the pursuit of happiness itself.  It’s kind of counterintuitive that pursuing happiness directly is not actually the way to achieve it;

6293.  Once you have the desire to do something to help others (i.e., compassion), then you can put that into practice by cultivating an attitude and habit of generosity.  This is known in Buddhism as “maitri” or “loving kindness.”  Loving kindness can take many forms.  Praying for the well-being and peace of others is one form of loving kindness.  Performing random acts of kindness, where you anonymously do kind things for others is another example.  Why do anonymous acts of kindness?  It’s a way to avoid creating an expectation of reciprocity on the part of your ego (i.e., I was nice to you so you should be nice to me).  It’s also a way of avoiding a subtle inflation of your ego around identifying as a “kind person.”  I’m not saying you shouldn’t be kind when the other person knows it’s coming from you (i.e., like buying flowers for someone who’s sad or cooking a meal for a sick friend) definitely do those things because they’re nice and they build good connections in your relationships.  What I am saying is that if you only do kind acts when you get credit for them, then you might develop a kind of “spiritual ego” around this trait.  Giving generously and anonymously as well as giving when you get the credit can help you to cultivate this inner character trait in a way that the ego can’t latch onto and use it for its own self-aggrandizement;

6294.  Accountability is about how we approach the story of our lives.  We’re all born, a bunch of stuff happens during our time here and then we die.  However, how we interpret the stuff that happens and whether or not we learn from it, makes all the difference.  Do we have an attitude of personal accountability and responsibility?  Or do we have an attitude of victimhood and blame?  Are we willing to take the hand we’ve been dealt by our birth, upbringing, nature and nurture, which is different for every single one of us, and make the most of it in this life?  Are we willing to play the game of life full tilt and to the best of our abilities?  Or are we going to spend our life lamenting the hand we were dealt, being angry about it and blaming our family, fate or traumas on the way things are in our lives, giving up on making things better and resigning ourselves to the idea that this is how it will always be?  Everyone gets dealt a different hand.  Some are harder than others.  People who gloss over this fact usually do so because they don’t want to acknowledge their own privilege;

6295.  Forgiveness is the greatest healing attitude of all and, sometimes, the hardest thing to do.  The flip side of forgiveness, its antithesis, is judgment.  So long as we judge, we’ll find it impossible to forgive.  The best way to let go of judgment is to acknowledge that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so until you’ve walked in their shoes, you probably shouldn’t judge.  And because each one of us has a unique set of gifts, challenges, opportunities and trials that we face, you can never truly walk in another’s shoes;

6296.  If you think it’s your job to judge and punish, that job is never done.  It’s an endless cycle of negativity.  It will suck the life force right out of you and it does not lead to an abundance of good things.  It leads to an abundance of things like disgust, hate, retribution and revenge;

6297.  Consider it your job to be kind to yourself and others, to be compassionate to yourself and others, to be grateful for all you have, to be accountable for your actions (and only your actions) and to forgive yourself and others;

6298.  It seems to help (a lot) if you put a map on your Craigslist posting;

6299.  Whiskey (and) cranberry . . . not so good;

6300.  Some people are truly clueless (i.e., “I don’t want to pay for parking.  Can you just bring the bed down?” . . . “Do you think it’ll (i.e., a bed frame and headboard for a full bed) fit in the backseat/trunk of my car?”);

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0125

6201.  Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success;

6202.  Most people would choose entertainment and distraction instead of learning and growing;

6203.  Repetition can be boring or tedious, which is why so few people ever master anything;

6204.  For every day you read a book, millions of others didn’t;

6205.  For every morning you woke up early to create and produce, millions of others slept in;

6206.  For every day you kept going, millions of others quit;

6207.  Ordinary people seek entertainment.  Extraordinary people seek education and learning;

6208.  Deep down, most people don’t think they have what it takes to be extraordinary.  It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you don’t believe you can, you surely won’t;

6209.  If you want to live an exceptional and extraordinary life, you have to give up many of the things that are part of a normal one;

6210.  Forget about titles and impressing others.  Focus on becoming a person you are incredibly proud to be;

6211.  Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development because success is something you attract by the person you become;

6212.  Being jealous and resentful is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die;

6213.  Choose what you want not what anyone else wants;

6214.  Alexander Graham Bell made his primary residence in D.C. (because of his numerous court cases involving patent disputes);

6215.  Most people doubt their beliefs and believe their doubts.  Do the opposite;

6216.  Researchers are finding that the pursuit of happiness falls short and real contentment and well-being comes from living a life of meaning;

6217.  Goals live in your discomfort zone.  Projects live in your comfort zone.  If it’s not a bit risky, if it doesn’t demand your full engagement and breakthrough creativity then it’s not a goal.  It’s a project;

6218.  If you can find nothing intrinsically motivating about a certain project, you should probably strike it from your goals list and find a way to automate or delegate it;

6219.  It’s not a true goal unless it has a transformative effect on your life or business in some way.  Projects are about maintenance or at best incremental improvement.  By contrast, goals are about leapfrog innovation and dramatic improvements that require us to step outside our day-to-day tasks;

6220.  Projects are composed of daily tasks we do to stay afloat.  If the alternative to treading water is drowning, I’m all for treading water!  But goals are all about swimming to new and desirable destinations;

6221.  Just because something is important, doesn’t mean you should make it a goal.  If it leaves you feeling drained or demotivated just thinking about it, you should (definitely) not make it a goal.  Instead, you should look for a way to automate or delegate it;

6222.  You want to dedicate as much of your energy as you can to the tasks only you can do to move your work and life in a new and better direction;

6223.  Flexible boundaries don’t make us more productive.  They force us to negotiate our priorities in the moment, which then invites us to make compromises.  And those compromises kill our productivity;

6224.  Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about;

6225.  The energy of abundance flows in a circle.  When we refuse to receive, we block the flow of abundance into our lives.  When we refuse to give, we do the same;
6226.  If we can’t practice self-compassion then it’s going to be very hard for us to have compassion for others;
6227.  Be thankful you are employed.  This may sound trite, but gratitude is the antidote to frustration.  You might not like your job, but being unemployed would likely be worse.  Besides, research shows that gratitude reduces stress and makes us more resilient;
6228.  Put your work in context.  The concept of “job satisfaction” is relatively new.  The truth is that work is hard.  Even at its best, there are going to be difficult days.  Frustrations, setbacks and even failure are part of life.  Don’t be surprised; accept the bad with the good;
6229.  Determine the source of your dissatisfaction.  Is your problem the work itself?  Or do you feel overwhelmed because you just have too many tasks in your drudgery or disinterest zones?  Maybe you work for a difficult boss?  Or perhaps you don’t like your commute or the working environment?  It’s important to identify the source of your frustration, so you can work on a plan to change it;
6230.  Fix what you can fix.  Unless you simply enjoy being miserable, you need to put together an action plan to change things for the better.  You might not be able to change everything, but you can, no doubt, improve some things.  Maybe you can transfer to another department, reduce your workload, establish better boundaries or do something that will make a tangible difference;
6231.  Use your job to polish your character.  Traits like kindness, peace, joy and patience don’t just happen.  They are forged in the crucible of difficult circumstances.  Very little happens when everything is going your way.  The important stuff happens when it’s not;
6232.  Encourage a coworker.  Sometimes it helps to get the focus off of yourself.  It’s not all about you.  If you’re discouraged, chances are someone else is too.  Treat them as you want to be treated.  Engage in a random act of kindness.  Provide a listening ear.  Remind them of what is ultimately true about them.  You might just find yourself encouraged in the process;
6233.  Winners are not afraid of losing, but losers are.  Failure is part of the process of success.  People who avoid failure also avoid success;
6234.  I never see failure as failure, but only as a learning experience;
6235.  What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?
6236.  Elizabeth likes anal;
6237.  . . . check;
6238.  (According to Christina,) I’m very tactile;
6239.  When your environment is cluttered, the chaos restricts your ability to focus;
6240.  Clutter limits your brain’s ability to process information.  Clutter makes you distracted and unable to process information as well as you would in an uncluttered, organized and serene environment;
6241.  If you’re looking for a good, late night place (to eat) by Dupont Circle, try Annie’s Paramount Steakhouse on 17th Street;
6242.  About six hours after you wake up, your body’s circadian rhythm starts to dip and you’re likely to feel drowsy, especially if you’ve had a busy morning and lunch.  A twenty-minute power nap at this point (say at 1:00 PM) is enough to give you a mental recharge without leaving you groggy: if you keep it short, you’ll wake up fairly alert and can quickly get back to work.  If you stretch it out to an hour, the balance between your circadian rhythm and sleep pressure will produce a nap that balances R.E.M. and short-wave sleep;
6243.  If you take a nap five hours after waking, the balance will be different: more R.E.M. sleep, and less slow-wave sleep.  This kind of nap will deliver a little creative nudge: you’re likely to dream and more likely to enroll your subconscious in whatever you were recently working on;
6244.  If you take a nap seven hours after waking, your body needs more rest and an hour-long nap will be richer in slow-wave sleep and more physically restorative than creatively stimulating;
6245.  Compal, Quanta, Inventec, Asustek and Wistron (in Shenzhen, China) make 90% of all brand name laptops and notebook computers;
6246.  Teens, who spend 5+ hours a day on their phones, are 51% more likely to suffer from sleep deprivation;
6247.  Teens in 8th grade, who use social media excessively, are 27% more likely to be depressed;
6248.  Teens who go “iPhone free” for five days at camp perform better on empathy tests;
6249.  True productivity isn’t about getting more things done.  It’s about getting the right things done;
6250.  It’s easy to confuse abundance with blessing especially in our work life.  But sometimes abundance is just another word for burden.  And it’s crucial for our success and satisfaction that we learn to spot the difference;