What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0114

5651.  We accept the love we think we deserve;

5652.  We can’t choose where we come from, but we can choose where we go from there;

5653.  Your goal should not be to be better than anyone else, your goal should be to be better than you used to be;

5654.  Even religious girls like sex;

5655.  What’s so amazing about being right?  Is it really the greatest feeling in the world?  Would you really rather be right than be connected and loving with the people around you?  Would you rather be right than have someone in tears thanking you for how much you changed their life?  Would you really rather be right than do something for someone else that lights them up?  You wouldn’t;

5656.  If you’re focusing on being right, you’re not learning and you’re not connecting.  So come from the heart and not from the head, commit to letting this go and all will change in a matter of weeks;

5657.  If we risk nothing, we risk everything;

5658.  People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.  You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.  Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?  You’d distance yourself and you should do the same with complainers.  A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem.  They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction;

5659.  When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness;

5660.  When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.

5661.  While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt.  That way, no matter what (toxic) people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within;

5662.  Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain, you’re never as good or bad as they say you are;

5663.  Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state.  When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress.  When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress;

5664.  Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget.  Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on.  It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance;

5665.  There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (i.e., the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it.  Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating.  It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of.  You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs;

5666.  Drinking apple cider vinegar (i.e., one capful in a glass of water) will whiten your teeth;

5667.  Drinking apple cider vinegar will (also) get rid of bad breath;

5568.  “Treacle” is the British term for molasses;

5669.  Regardless of how challenging something is, it’s always our reaction to it that will dictate how much it is going to impact our lives.  You decide how much and for how long, getting cut off on the highway is going to piss you off and you decide how much someone’s poor opinion of you is going to make you shell up in insecurity.  Let your natural reactions happen, but then consciously choose how long you want to let them impact everything else;

5670.  You should always have enough money for what matters;

5671.  People are going to hate you no matter what you do.  You can try and people please your entire life, but no matter what, some people are always going to dislike you.  So rather than wasting your time trying to match what you think is the most acceptable, spend that time accepting who you are;

5672.  To unjustly direct blame towards a circumstance or other person may seem relieving, but in the long term it takes its toll.  The less you take responsibility for your actions and decision making, the weaker you become mentally.  Taking responsibility may come with some immediate repercussions, but, over time, it builds a life founded on honesty and it strengthens your ability to tackle challenges when they arise;

5673.  People don’t think of you as much as you think they do.  People are too concerned with themselves to give you as much as attention as you think they are;

5674.  Not even the perfect relationship is going to complete you.  True happiness comes from within and can never be filled in by another.  Relationships are an extension of our happiness and not the basis of it, so focus on strengthening the one with yourself and all of the others will follow;

5675.  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel;

5676.  Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right;

5677.  Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence;

5678.  If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.  If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough;

5679.  Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent;

5680.  To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart;

5681.  Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears;

5682.  Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value;

5683.  You’re not a product of your circumstances.  You’re a product of your decisions;

5684.  The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any;

5685.  A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new;

5686.  When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us;

5687.  The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be;

5688.  The ideal work-to-break ratio is 52 minutes of work, followed by 17 minutes of rest.  People who maintained this schedule had a unique level of focus in their work.  For roughly an hour at a time, they were 100% dedicated to the task they needed to accomplish.  They didn’t check Facebook “real quick” or get distracted by e-mails.  When they felt fatigue (again, after about an hour), they took short breaks, during which they completely separated themselves from their work.  This helped them to dive back in refreshed for another productive hour of work;

5689.  The brain naturally functions in spurts of high energy (i.e., roughly an hour) followed by spurts of low energy (i.e., 15-20 minutes);

5690.  The breaks we take aren’t real breaks (i.e., checking your e-mail and watching YouTube doesn’t recharge you the same way as taking a walk does);

5691.  Breaks such as walking, reading and chatting are the most effective forms of recharging because they take you away from your work;

5692.  It’s far more productive to rest for short periods than it is to keep on working when you’re tired and distracted;

5693.  The next time painful or stressful feelings threaten to overwhelm you, here is what you do: Get something to write with.  Get something to write on.  Write down a word that describes the emotion you’re experiencing.  It doesn’t have to be comprehensive.  Just a word or two will do.  Affect labeling, the act of naming one’s emotional state, helps to blunt the immediate impact of negative feelings and start the process of climbing back down from stress;

5694.  Yes, it’s a risk to switch careers with a mortgage and debt and two kids heading into college.  But which is worse: To take the risk for greatness or to stay in the same job where you know you’re miserable and in a few years you’ll still be miserable and now older to boot?  The first situation risks failure, but what so many people don’t realize is that the second situation guarantees it;

5695.  The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation;

5696.  Discovering what adds meaning to your life will very often add meaning to others’ lives as well.  And the money will follow;

5697.  Traits to embrace to live a fuller and more deeply passionate life include: 1.  An appreciation for beauty; 2.  Sense of purpose; 3.  Resistance to enculturation; 4.  Welcoming the unknown; 5.  High enthusiasm; 6.  Inner-directedness; 7.  Detachment from outcome; 8.  Independence of the good opinion of others; and 9.  An absence of a compelling need to exert control over others;

5698.  Every single person you meet your entire life has a particular window through which you need to communicate with them if you want to communicate with them.  Every single person you meet will have a different sized window that will be constantly changing.  Some people’s window is the size of a postage stamp.  You must communicate with them following their rules, their language and their words or you’re not going to have any real level of communication with them.  Other people’s windows are so big, they’re basically the size of the known universe.  You can communicate with them in any way you want and they will do their absolute best to understand you, respect you, be open to you and generally be a delight to speak to;

5699.  All great communicators have one thing in common.  They are obsessed with finding the boundaries of the other person’s window so they can communicate with the person.  They do not waste time moaning that people are not meeting their window;

5700.  It’s critical to understand that each and every person you meet needs a different language set from you for them to see you as part of the same tribe.  And considering we are all humans, we are all part of the same tribe.  Everyone on the planet has many different sides to their personality and we should aim to create the safest place that we can for communication with other people.  That means making sure that we show people the side of our personality that they can connect with, that they can understand and that they can appreciate;