What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0150

7451.  Unconsciously repeating cycles is at the root of all human behavior;

7452.  Signs of emotional addiction: 1.  Retelling a story of tragedy over and over again for years and feeling like you’re living the moment in the present; 2.  Enjoying emotions even if they are negative because you feel “alive;” 3.  Being drawn to relationships that revolve around the emotion you’re addicted to; 4.  Feeling dull and apathetic until you experience the addictive emotion; and 5.  Finding yourself in repetitive emotional cycles even if you desperately want to get out of them;

7453.  Apparently, Amazon has a 30-day price guarantee, but not for digital download/software sales;

7454.  Apparently, Morrissey was in “The Smiths;”

7455.  Matt Nathanson is a Morrissey fan;

7456.  Emotional maturity: 1.  Receptive to feedback and open to other perspectives; 2.  Can step outside of oneself to see another perspective; 3.  Has a developed sense of self and is authentic; 4.  Takes time to process emotions before reacting; 5.  Feels a sense of peace and stability; and 6.  Encourages others and believes in their capability;

7457.  Emotional immaturity: 1.  Defensive and shut down to conflicting ideas; 2.  Rigid: Sees everything from their own point of view; 3.  Lacks a sense of self and projects an image; 4.  Habitual knee jerk emotional reactions; 5.  Feels attacked and like the world is against him/her; and 6.  Mocks or criticizes others from a place of insecurity;

7458.  Being an adult does not mean (that) you’re emotionally mature;

7459.  It’s actually rare to be emotionally mature.  If developmental needs were not met as children, we can stay at an “emotional age” that’s different from our physical age.  This manifests as screaming, yelling, defensiveness and an inability to see things from another perspective;

7460.  Emotionally immature people have an overactive ego that attempts to protect them from the lack of self.  They struggle in interpersonal relationships because they’re fragile and insecure;

7461.  Ways to overcome self-sabotage: 1.  Understand that falling into old patterns shows the power of the subconscious and not who “you” are as a person; 2.  Practice breath work every morning to calm the nervous system (which claims the mind); 3.  Journal about your future-self and read it when negative thought loops come up; 4.  Keep new rituals very small and something you can commit to every single day; and 5.  Have compassion towards the beliefs you have about yourself.  Most of them were not created by you;

7462.  The subconscious drives 95% of our behavior.  When we are not present, we run on subconscious programming that was all created from birth until age 7.  Our subconscious holds beliefs about what we deserve, who we are and what our place is in the world.  As we attempt to consciously change this programming the brain races into overdrive desperate to stay in the familiar.  Thoughts come up to bring us back to the “known self” and we abandon our attempts.  This will happen over and over again;

7463.  Everyone has the power to heal, but it is 98% mental and 2% action.  Be patient.  Sit with what comes up and start again in each new moment;

7464.  Steps to rewire the brain: 1.  Visualization; 2.  Future-self journaling; 3.  Limit exposure to people who doubt or question your shifts; 4.  Filter what you consume; and 5.  Stay curious and open to universal guidance, but committed to daily practice;

7465.  Emotional internalizer: 1.  Responsible for their emotional energy in every situation; 2.  Places emphasis on personal development; 3.  Responds; 4.  Works through triggers to learn their meaning(s); 5.  Can spend time alone, practices mediation or journaling; and 6.  Can hear other viewpoints calmly and rationally;

7466.  Emotional externalizer: 1.  Emotional state is created by the environment; 2.  Focused on the external behavior of others; 3.  Reacts; 4.  Expects others to understand and avoid triggers; 5.  Avoids being alone and always connected to others; and 6.  See beliefs as identity and pushes his/her own;

7467.  5 truths about mental wellness: 1.  Inflammation has been linked to anxiety, depression, mood disorders and schizophrenia; 2.  The gut and the brain are in constant (two-way) communication with each other through the gut-brain axis; 3.  The microbiome and its balance of bacteria influences behavior; 4.  Psychiatric disorders are symptoms with root causes; and 5.  Research shows nutritional deficiency (especially b12, vitamin d & omega fatty acids) are present in psychiatric disorders and neurodegenerative disease;

7468.  The emotions of others are not your responsibility;

7469.  People don’t have bad intentions.  They have unhealed, emotional wounds;

7470.  “Personality” is the culmination of habitual, thought patterns and behavior, not who “you” are;

7471.  What people don’t understand, they will dismiss.  Let them;

7472.  Family is typically the most resistant to change/evolution;

7473.  The matrix is your own mind;

7474.  No matter how negative your self-image is right now, you need to remember that your mind is playing tricks on you.  You made a choice to buy into this image;

7475.  The biggest risk of all is not taking one;

7476.  Celebrate every season of your life for the particular blessings that it brings.  Regret steals your joy, comparison steals your joy and yearning for things to be other than the way they are steals your joy.  When you accept what is (even challenges) and you lean into working with them instead of against them, you can make the most of what is showing up.  And, in the process, you truly show up to life and to yourself;

7477.  Growth is mostly about letting go of the things that no longer serve you . . . letting go of other people’s ideas that you took on about how you should be and what being “abundant” means;

7478.  Plenty of procedures and protocols are more about reducing a medical establishment’s liability than they are about patient outcomes;

7479.  When unhappy couples say, “We’re incompatible,” they truly mean, “We don’t get along very well;”

7480.  Everyone, who is unhappy, naturally blames it on the facade of compatibility.  They fail to realize and comprehend that a successful relationship does not hinge its posterity on how alike you are instead it hangs on by the sheer willpower and want to stay in a relationship;

7481.  Dr. John Gottman, the founder of The Gottman Institute in Seattle, said that measures of personality are incapable of truly predicting the length or success of a relationship;

7482.  Gottman discovered that couples, who focus their energy on building something meaningful together in their lives (.e.g., starting a business together) tend to last the longest;

7483.  How a couple interacts is the single, most fundamental aspect to creating a successful relationship.  Meaning it’s not who you are or what you do that will prolong or help you find the perfect mate.  It’s how you speak to each other, how well you get along and how you move through time together;

7484.  Gottman says that your partner should support your life dreams.  They should look up to you, admire you and respect you;

7485.  When you truly reflect on how you’ve always wanted to be treated, having someone who genuinely believes in your greatness is paramount;

7486.  A lot of the connection you feel with another person is emotional.  You must be capable of responding to each other when you need something.  As Gottman says, “Does your partner turn toward you with equal enthusiasm?”  You need to ask questions and constantly update your knowledge of one another;

7487.  If you truly are looking for love and want to find that person that you can spend the rest of your life with remember that it is you who creates compatibility;

7488.  There is no magic formula or perfect algorithm for making a fruitful relationship with another human being.  Yes, you need to find the other person attractive, look up to them and feel a strong sense of familiarity, but those are but a small slice of the pie that constitutes a healthy and lasting relationship;

7489.  The next time you spot someone who catches your attention and makes your pupils dilate with interest and enthusiasm, pay attention to whether or not s/he can see the dream you envisioned for your life.  If s/he can share in your delight and can accept you for who you are today not for who you can be tomorrow then you have found your “soulmate;”

7490.  A human being’s role is not to complete another;

7491.  Demands and expectations lead to resentment;

7492.  Your emotional, physical and spiritual health reflects daily on your partner;

7493.  Communication problems are often unhealed trauma;

7494.  A partner, who keeps promises to himself/herself, keeps promises to another.  A partner, who betrays himself/herself, betrays another;

7495.  The happiest partnerships are two people living as their authentic selves even if that means temporary discomfort for the other;

7496.  The foundation of love is commitment to the highest self;

7497.  The path to intuition is the path that people have the most resistance to: silence with self.  In silence, we face our thoughts.  We feel the physical sensations emotions bring: itchiness, numbness and tingling.  The monkey mind goes and goes.  The greatest fear of human beings is not public speaking or death.  It’s facing our emotions;

7498.  We have a conditioned belief that having a lot of friends means something about who we are.  We feel it makes us perceived as likeable and accepted.  We’ll “break-up” with partners, but not with friends.  Friendship seems to be forever even if the relationship has run its course.  Relationships shift as we shift.  People enter our lives during certain periods and exit at others.  It’s okay to let go;

7499.  Elizabeth likes veal Marsala . . . and fresh mozzarella . . . and tiramisu;

7500.  The 3 C’s in life: 1.  Choice; 2.  Chance; and 3.  Change – You must make the choice to take the chance if you want anything in life to change;