What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0151

7501.  People are (generally) talking to themselves when (they’re) talking to others.  Until we’re conscious, we’re human projectors.  The emotions and beliefs we’ve suppressed come out all day long. . . . It becomes difficult to be offended or take things personally when you realize interactions are reflections, reflections of our beliefs.  People speak to past versions of themselves all day long;

7502.  Situations to get past your mind: 1.  Cold showers; 2.  3 minute body scan check in; 3.  10 minute walk; 4.  Wake up 15 minutes early; 5.  Workouts; and 6.  Brave the cold purposely;

7503.  The chatter that says “tomorrow” or “I don’t want to” is the subconscious.  It always wants to keep us in the familiar . . . in the comfortable.  Comfort feels safe to the brain, but comfort blocs growth;

7504.  If you want to break through the resistance you have to intentionally set up situations where you get past your mind.  Create small situations where the mind is saying “no way” and you commit to conscious choice.  Repeat this daily and you’ll form a new relationship with your thoughts;

7505.  A dividend yield of 5% of the stock’s price signals a great stock at a great price;

7506.  A dividend yield of less than 3% of the stock price means the stock is priced too high and will probably fall in value;

7507.  Apparently, I’m high vibration;

7508.  A profound shift happens when we stop asking, “Why did they do that?” and start asking, “Why did I do that?”

7509.  90% of serotonin is made in the gut. . . . Food creates mood;

7510.  The original intent was that Social Security would account for about half of your retirement income;

7511.  If you’re collecting an ex-spousal, Social Security benefit and you remarry that benefit goes away;

7512.  If you remarry someone, who is 10 or 20 years younger than you, you might not qualify for spousal Social Security benefits for a while;

7513.  If your ex-spouse passes away, you will step up to their full benefit amount;

7514.  The stories we tell about ourselves become our reality regardless if they are true;

7515.  Behavior/emotional payoff: 1.  Complaining/gossiping about others – connection & belonging; 2.  Overcommitting – validation of “being needed;” 3.  Judging those around you – distraction from lack of self-worth; 4.  Staying in an unhealthy relationship – familiarity (e.g., repeating trauma cycles); and 5.  Blaming others for circumstances – relief from shame;

7516.  Every time you make a choice ask yourself, “How is this serving me?”  Ask it enough and you’ll start to see patterns.  When you start to see patterns, you’ll gain self-awareness;

7517.  80% of medical bills have at least one error;

7518.  Always ask for an itemized bill so you can determine whether you’ve been overcharged for a service;

7519.  You can look up the fair market price for healthcare you receive at Healthcare Bluebook (HealthcareBluebook.com);

7520.  It isn’t our accomplishments that make us happy.  Rather, it’s our happiness that fuels our accomplishments;

7521.  Until age 7, the brain is in a theta state (i.e., state of hypnosis).  This is where the subconscious mind is created;

7522.  Change is so difficult because we are running on programming we did not consciously choose;

7523.  We are on autopilot running on subconscious programming we didn’t create.  We’re in the “now,” but our minds are in the past habitually reacting as we learned during those first 7 years.  Cycles are repeated and repeated;

7524.  The theta brain state (7Hz to 8 Hz) is where “reality” is created.  As children, we are in this state for quick learning.  They have to figure out how to “be” in the world . . . language, beliefs, social norms, family structure, system, ethics, morals, etc.  All of these are chosen for us.  Almost every single belief you hold came from this time period including the belief about who “you” are;

7525.  You’re an adult.  You’ve left the theta brain state.  Every time you’re not present (i.e., about 95% of the time), you’re running on the subconscious.  You don’t like many things about your life.  You want to change.  You’re unaware of the thoughts, patterns and behaviors within your subconscious.  You start a new habit.  There’s major mental resistance.  The subconscious beliefs flood in.  The narratives are your “reality” because you’ve never separated yourself from them.  One week later your new habit is gone and so is the sense of shame that comes from self-betrayal;

7526.  The conscious mind wants change, but the subconscious mind feels change as a threat to life;

7527.  The first step in change is creating consciousness which means being present . . . observing “you,” your thoughts, your triggers and your reactions.  This is the most difficult space and why few people have self-awareness: it’s painful;

7528.  Reprogramming the mind takes commitment and patience.  The more work around this you do, the more it will feel like an inner battle.  It is an inner battle to return to the unconditioned, authentic self;

7529.  So much suffering today comes from the belief that we are responsible for the emotions of others.  We believe this because it was what we were taught.  We are raised by caregivers who don’t know how to process their own emotions so they can’t make space for our own;

7530.  We view people trying to make another person “feel better” or “be happy.”  As children, we watch someone get angry then blame another person for their anger.  The message is clear, but subtle: emotions of others are your responsibility.  This is why people cannot keep boundaries.  When someone reacts strongly against your boundaries (e.g., gets upset, makes judgments, etc.), we struggle to sit with the emotions.  We falsely believe we caused the emotional reaction and that it’s our responsibility to fix the reaction.  The only responsibility we have is our own emotional state and no one else’s;

7531.  Yes, our emotional state will affect those around us, but how they respond and react is their own;

7532.  Your emotional energy state is your own.  You’re responsible for the energy you bring to every situation.  How a person perceives you is beyond your control.  His/her filter is based on his/her own subconscious memory.  It has nothing to do with you;

7533.  Ask yourself, “Does this action help to create the person I want to become?”  Yes – repeat.  No – Good thing this means nothing and I have the next moment to make a new choice;

7534.  When we do something that doesn’t serve us, we create stories around what that means.  We say things to ourselves that make us cycle into shame.  The same thing that happened in our childhood, we do to ourselves as adults.  We qualify our behavior, create a meaning and then label it “good” or “bad.”  In this headspace we spiral into shame.  Then we miss the next opportunity in the present moment to make a decision that serves our highest self;

7535.  What healing really is: showing up, showing up, not showing up, showing up, showing up, not showing up, not showing up, showing up;

7536.  When you don’t show up, breathe: it means nothing;

7537.  When you do (show up), recognize the victory and keep moving;

7538.  The day will come when you show up for yourself more than when you don’t.  But only if you let go of your own stories around what your actions mean;

7539.  You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you.  You will only be criticized by someone doing less;

7540.  Every time you owe someone money, you become an employee of their money.  That is, if you take out a 30-year loan, you’ve instantly become a 30-year employee.  Unfortunately, they do not give you a gold watch when the debt is retired;

7541.  Good debt is debt that someone else pays off for you and bad debt is debt that you pay for with your own sweat and blood;

7542.  Regardless of whether you borrow money for a liability or an asset, to a banker, either one is an asset.  People who first borrow money to buy assets usually end up with more money to buy liabilities.  People who only buy liabilities often have no money left over to buy assets;

7543.  If you want to be rich, you must give your banker what he wants.  First, your banker wants to see your financial statements.  Second, a banker wants to lend you money to buy real estate.  Just know what your banker wants and you’ll find it easier to become rich;

7544.  If you want a (little) crunch for your chili and you don’t have any tortilla chips or Fritos, try corn flakes;

7545.  How to work through triggers: 1.  Breathe.  Feel your heart rate, shaky hands and any other change in body chemistry.  Practice observing; 2.  Ask, “What was my core feeling here (e.g., I felt abandoned.  I felt unheard.  I felt unconsidered.)?” and 3.  Choose a new response.  Rewire pathways of the brain.  Be silent.  Write down emotions.  Walk away from the situation;

7546.  A trigger is a reaction in the present to an emotional wound from the past;

7547.  Being triggered is the mind and body attempting to release and heal.  When we’re triggered, we’re in the subconscious.  If we stay here, we will react habitually and the wound will remain.  We will blame a person or a situation unaware that we’re reacting to our past;

7548.  Even the act of acknowledging a trigger and focusing inwards is a major step towards healing;

7549.  Working through triggers heals.  Use them to guide you.  The more conscious you are to your triggers, the more choice you have in reaction.  With repetition, you’ll rewire the pathways of the brain.  Eventually, you’ll reach the ability to respond rather than react;

7550.  Triggers are teachers;