What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0019

901.  Buckingham Palace is absolutely massive;

902.  Time has not been kind to Janice Dickinson (a former judge on “America’s Next Top Model”);

903.  Couples have no qualms about making out in public in Green Park;

904.  Don’t give directions to self-proclaimed, Italian tourists by Hyde Park Corner (i.e., by Wellington Arch);

905.  Supposedly, you can buy anything you want at Harrods (Harrods.com) . . . cars, real estate, vacations, etc. . . . and if they don’t have it, they can get if for you, that is, as long as you can afford it.  They even have a pet store and a pet grooming center . . . and the female staff is rather attractive;

906.  Australians have water restrictions even for showering;

907.  When you order a “gin and tonic” in Europe, they charge you separately for the gin and the tonic water.  They give you the tonic water in a single serving bottle, so you can pour it to your liking;

908.  The musical, “Chicago,” is about sex, murder and fame;

909.  The street names in Europe are on the buildings;

910.  In the United Kingdom, ASDA means Wal-Mart;

911.  The French countryside is very picturesque. . . . There’s also little to no trash on the sides of their motorways . . . unlike the U.S.;

912.  Be wary of where sheep graze in the French countryside.  During several wars, landmines and other explosives were buried in the ground.  Instead of clearing these areas to use as farmland, the French use them to graze sheep.  Every now and then, there are news stories reporting sheep accidentally triggering some ordnance and blowing themselves up;

913.  The French have “bumper parking” . . . what a concept!

914.  There’s only one traffic rule in the roundabout surrounding the Arc de Triomphe: You have to give right of way to incoming traffic.  Besides that, there are no actual lanes or any other rules;

915.  The French are a bunch of megalomaniacs;

916.  The French sure do like sparklers in their drinks;

917.  Apparently, there is such a thing as an American accent;

918.  Some Frenchmen (particularly from Marseilles) would rather give a cigarette to an American than to an English-sounding guy claiming to be Italian;

919.  There aren’t a lot of job prospects for gypsies.  It’s pretty much being a pickpocket, scamming naive tourists or selling junk souvenirs;

920.  Access to the Summit (i.e., top) of the Eiffel Tower is only available on weekends . . . that is, if it’s even open at all;

921.  French drivers are crazy too;

922.  It seems the French idea of sausage is a hot dog;

923.  Apparently, French couples have no qualms about making out in public either (especially in crowded restaurants);

924.  Squatting toilets are awful. . . . After a long day of walking, you definitely feel the burn (in your legs that is);

925.  Supposedly, you can make a million Euros a year as a perfumer.  However, you’ll be condemned to a life of bland food. . . . Apparently, spice affects your sense of smell;

926.  Before you travel (especially abroad), make sure your bankcard hasn’t expired;

927.  If you buy a beer from the McDonald’s in the Louvre, you’ll win a hamburger;

928.  The window seats (overlooking the courtyard) in the English paintings section of the Louvre is a wonderful place to sit, reflect and write;

929.  The craziest shot I’ve ever seen is the “Sambuca Gas Chamber.”  You light Sambuca on fire in a snifter.  You then pour the burning Sambuca into another glass and place the snifter on the bar upside down, trapping the fumes.  You blow out the Sambuca and shoot it.  You then take a straw and inhale the fumes trapped in the snifter.  Finally, if there’s any Sambuca left in the glass, you pour it onto the snifter’s base and snort it;

930.  The current revue, “Feerie,” at the Moulin Rouge is more than just can-can dancing.  It’s more like a variety show with dancers, a juggler, a strong man, a ventriloquist and singing;

931.  There’s an energy and a characteristic whine when you’re on the TGV at high speeds;

932.  Bicyclists have the right of way in Amsterdam (even over pedestrians);

933.  The Dutch are tall;

934.  Eating out in Central Amsterdam is rather expensive . . . and the food is pretty mediocre;

935.  Sex shows are overrated. . . . They’re actually kind of boring;

936.  The stairs in Amsterdam are very narrow. . . . They could be very dangerous if you’re inebriated;

937.  Marijuana is actually illegal in Amsterdam, but due to non-enforcement, the courts have ruled against the government when people are prosecuted;

938.  You have to pay for condiments in Amsterdam;

939.  Mayonnaise on French fries isn’t half bad. . . . They even make little, miniature French fry forks so you won’t get mayonnaise all over your hands;

940.  It’s out of the ordinary to smell tobacco smoke when walking along the streets of Amsterdam, . . . but it’s not unusual to smell marijuana. . . . You’d think it’d be the opposite;

941.  There is always a little truth behind, “Just kidding,” a little emotion behind, “I don’t care,” and a little pain behind, “It’s okay;”

942.  The biggest wounds in life are all self-inflicted;

943.  You can also get pretty good, food, entertainment and other discounts at Groupon (Groupon.com);

944.  Most of the time, we tend to remember the good and not the bad, so our memories are better than reality, but every once in a while we can be taken by surprise and our memories just don’t do reality enough justice;

945.  Edamame (i.e., salted, boiled, immature soybeans) is furry;

946.  You can use kiwi as a meat tenderizer;

947.  Eating “crunchy rice” (at Buddha Bar) reminds me of eating Tater Tots;

948.  A “Pink Lady” is the name of a girly drink, but not always;

949.  I know a Baghdad resident;

950.  No one is as good at making himself/herself feel isolated as him/her;