Monday, December 23, 2019

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0169

8401.  Our brain is wired to pick up negativity faster than positivity in any situation.  This has been a direct result of evolution, where our ancestors were neurologically conditioned to look for dangers or risks around them as the result of a deep-rooted survival mentality.  Everything that our ancestors did would revolve around their fears related to food, shelter and safety.  This is exactly why we are wired to sense the threat and negativity around us faster than the positives;
8402.  Consciously commit to avoiding the negative and focusing only on the positive;
8403.  The roast lamb pie from Kiwi Kuisine (KiwiKuisine.com) (at the Old Town Alexandria Farmers Market) is tasty;
8404.  Meditation is one of the best ways of conquering your internal dialogue;
8405.  Our minds are occupied by at least 70,000-80,000 individual thoughts per day;
8406.  Think of your post-meditation mind as a highly fertile ground, where you can plant just about any seeds for cultivating positive and receptive thoughts and dialogues;
8407.  Only when we bring about a sense of mental clarity can we condition the mind to override negative feelings or train the mind to think positive thoughts through repetition;
8408.  Affirmations are powerful, positive ways to reframe the subconscious mind;
8409.  Affirmations or positive statements allow us to replace negative thoughts with more positive or constructive thoughts;
8410.  Affirmations replace old and obsolete thoughts with fresher and more inspiring thoughts that allow the subconscious to drive our actions in the same direction;
8411.  Our speech, actions and behavior are a direct result of our internal dialogue.  They support or are an extension of the conversations that take place within us;
8412.  Our actions are a result of our thoughts, but it also works the other way around;
8413.  When you are more mindful of your speech and action, you pave the way for a refined, meaningful and positive internal dialogue.  Being conscious allows you to focus on behavior that invariably results in positive afterthoughts;
8414.  Separate your inner critic from you by giving it a distinct name and persona.  It isn’t a part of who or what you are.  It is simply a perspective from another person’s point of view.  It isn’t who you are or what you think about yourself;
8415.  When you create a psychological entity by speaking and giving the inner critic a second or third person, you reduce negative feelings of stress and anxiety.  It gives you the power to manage and regulate emotions while reducing discomfort;
8416.  The first step towards dealing with internal conflict is to identify that there is a situation of internal conflict;
8417.  One of the worst ways to resolve an internal conflict is trying to pretend that there is no conflict;
8418.  Accept conflict and find ways to deal with it;
8419.  Every time you experience a clash between emotions, consider the situation for a moment and notice your feelings.  Be mindful of the physical sensations experienced while feeling the emotion;
8420.  Once you identify the physiological feelings, it is easy to associate it with an emotion or conflict.  Once you have identified the emotion, give it a name.  Think about how the emotion is interfering with your daily life;
8421.  Choose a healthy way to release the conflict until you find a solution.  This will give you a good grip on your conflict for the moment and make it subside until you have a clear solution;
8422.  Avoid feeling guilty about your emotions;
8423.  While we often think our thoughts are right, your emotions aren’t always wrong or irrational.  If anything, they are reliable indicators of how you think and feel about people and situations.  Don’t feel guilty about emotions that do not match your logical thoughts;
8424.  Feeling ashamed of emotions that are not in line with your thoughts only increases conflict;
8425.  Once you’ve made up your mind, there is no need to ruminate over every decision.  Second guessing only increases the intensity of the conflict;
8426.  (Bob) Dylan doesn’t allow photo(graph)s or videos at his concerts;
8427.  I can say (that) I’ve seen (Bob) Dylan (and His Band);
8428.  I can understand (maybe) 20% of what (Bob) Dylan says/sings;
8429.  (Bob) Dylan is very bluesy;
8430.  Stick to your values rather than being influenced by others;
8431.  Listening too much to people can create a conflict of emotions, beliefs and thoughts.  People will offer you advice or suggestions from their perspective, which may not be in agreement with your core beliefs and values;
8432.  Don’t pretend that you are not affected by these events.  You won’t be in a position to get over it if you pretend that it didn’t happen.  Try to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel everything that you felt in the past (and still free);
8433.  One of the best ways to deal with conflict is to write it down in explicit terms.  This way, you unload the unwanted conflict from the brain and dump it on paper, which can provide you with great relief.  The act of writing can give you complete self-understanding by viewing things from a different perspective, which helps in conflict resolution;
8434.  The best way to manage a painful past is to tell yourself that it can’t be changed now, accept it and change the way you perceive it;
8435.  We can either live in the past and ruin our present and future or we can choose to learn from the past and move on;
8436.  The past cannot be revisited, but perception about it can be changed;
8437.  Direct your efforts towards accepting the past and offering forgiveness to the ones who have hurt you.  You don’t do this for them; you do it for you own peace and well-being.  You give forgiveness to let go of the past and move on.  Feel the emotions you want to feel and then let go after a point;
8438.  Spend time with different people.  Spending time in the same setting with the same people where you experienced negative past emotions will only trigger more of the same reactions;
8439.  When you see other people’s vulnerabilities, you become more thankful for your blessings and learn to cope with your troubles;
8440.  Before going to bed, don’t spend valuable time reviewing anything negative that you don’t want to be reinforced in your subconscious because the subconscious is the most active when we are asleep.  Focus on positive and constructive thoughts just before going to bed rather than harboring hatred;
8441.  If you have had an argument or disagreement with someone, talk to them and clear the air before going to bed.  Focus on ending it on a positive note even if you don’t wish to associate with the person in the future;
8442.  Focus on being kind instead of being right;
8443.  Don’t actively seek occasions to be offended;
8444.  Think about how no one is perfect;
8445.  Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.  It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “the backwards law,” the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.  The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel regardless of how much money you actually make.  The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself regardless of your actual physical appearance.  The ore you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become regardless of those who surround you.  The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there;
8446.  Money is a means not a mission;
8447.  Sweet Fire Donna’s in (Old Town) Alexandria has $2.00 pulled chicken or pulled pork tacos every day after 10:00 PM;
8448.  The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them;
8449.  Just because you love someone doesn’t mean s/he’s meant for you;
8450.  Everybody has tragedy in his/her life.  Everybody has tough things to overcome.  Everybody has his/her issues.  It's how you handle your issues that distinguishes you;

Monday, December 16, 2019

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0168

8351.  The (official) age a child can open a social media account is 13.  This probably has less to do with safety and more to do with companies being able to use the data of a minor;
8352.  Tacos al pastor is derived from (Middle Eastern) shawarma;
8353.  The Portuguese ambassador lives at 2125 Kalorama Road, NW (in D.C.);
8354.  (I can say) I’ve had Portuguese wine at the Portuguese ambassador’s house/residence;
8355.  (I can say) I’ve shaken hands and spoken with the Portuguese ambassador (i.e., Domingos Teixeira de Abreu Fezas Vital);
8356.  (I can say) I’ve been to Portugal (technically);
8357.  (I can say) I gave (up) my seat to the Portuguese ambassador;
8358.  I’ve been to a concert (specifically cellist, Mafalda Santos, accompanied by a pianist) at the Portuguese ambassador’s house/residence;
8359.  I’ve had dinner at the Portuguese ambassador’s house/residence;
8360.  Dessert at the Portuguese ambassador’s house/residence (i.e., fruit) is a bit disappointing;
8361.  Rainbows can appear in the daytime or nighttime sky;
8362.  A rainbow that appears in the night sky is called a moonbow;
8363.  Optimum conditions for viewing a moonbow arise during a full moon because the moon acts as a mirror casting the most light from the sun towards the Earth.  Mix a full moon with a misty night and you have the greatest chance of seeing a moonbow;
8364.  Boba/bubble (milk) tea has more caffeine than (a cup of) coffee. . . . Who knew?
8365.  Trader Joe’s “chicken Balti pies” (i.e., tender chicken chunks & vegetable in a traditional Balti curry) are (pretty) tasty;
8366.  Just before you go to bed try to practice visualization.  When we sleep our conscious mind is at rest, but our subconscious mind is super active.  By practicing visualization just before we go to bed, we train our subconscious to be occupied by events as we want them to be.  The subconscious mind does not distinguish between imagined reality and reality;
8367.  When the subconscious mind believes something to be real, it drives our actions in sync with these thoughts and leads to the manifestation of our imagined thoughts;
8368.  Don’t think of disappointment as a catastrophe after which your world comes crashing down.  There is life beyond disappointment so think of it as a normal occurrence;
8369.  Learn to segregate situations that are within and beyond your control;
8370.  One way to get along with people for rapport building is focusing on the other person’s breathing;
8371.  Another great way to establish rapport on a subconscious level is to mirror the person’s body language including gestures, posture, expressions and words;
8372.  When you mirror someone’s actions, at a subconscious level you are revealing to them that you are similar;
8373.  To alter a limiting belief, gather all positive evidence in support of the situation or circumstances;
8374.  No one who achieves success does so without the help of others.  The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude;
8375.  The southwestern, grilled, chicken (breast) sandwich at Laporta’s Restaurant in (Old Town) Alexandria is (pretty) tasty;
8376.  Thanksgiving (Day) . . . check;
8377.  Things pretty much are what they are dealing with the world on that level is enlightenment;
8378.  Apparently, Shelli’s cousin (i.e., Robert Newton) was (an infielder) on the University of Virginia baseball team (in 2001 and 2002);
8379.  It sounds like my (late) uncle might have been schizophrenic;
8380.  Everything just is.  It’s our interpretation of it that creates pain or joy . . . fear or passion;
8381.  We label things as good or bad and then we create feelings based on those labels;
8382.  For the most part, we live with expectations and preferences.  When those expectations aren’t met, we’re angry.  When life around us unfolds in a way that doesn’t match our preferences, we create the darker emotions;
8383.  We hope that the external world will conveniently align and unfold in the way we desire.  Yet that’s rarely the case.  The world is a chaotic place.  You can’t control it;
8384.  Any control you think you do have over the world is generally an illusion.  It’s a construct.  It’s something you use in order to feel safe;
8385.  So many people are unhappy because they try to control everything around them . . . people . . . businesses . . . political beliefs . . . weather, etc.  Then when things don’t unfold in a way that matches their preferences, they’re angry.  The response is to try even harder to control things.  It’s to hold on tighter.  Develop a stronger grip.  Yet that’ll never work;
8386.  Good luck and bad luck are in the eye of the beholder.  It’s a subjective opinion;
8387.  Things are going to happen.  It’s up to you to decide whether or not they happened for a reason;
8388.  Surrender and trust.  Those words are the keys to actual happiness and not just the type of happiness you experience when things are “going well.”  So let go;
8389.  Apparently, Panama Geisha coffee is (currently) the most expensive coffee in the world;
8390.  Grits are made from ground corn;
8391.  Chicken tastes better when you cook/reheat it with the skin on;
8392.  If you like gingerbread, (you might want to) try Trader Joe’s “mini gingerbread men” (i.e., gingerbread cookies with white fudge icing). . . . They have a very sharp ginger flavor;
8393.  (According to Martine Rothblatt,) 10% of the (250,000) lung cancer cases a year are from radon (exposure);
8394.  Reality is nothing but attention or interpretation of an act.  The way you interpret a certain act becomes your reality;
8395.  Perception is more often than not derived through internal dialogues;
8396.  The internal dialogue is actually our ego conversing with itself.  It is the voice that combines reasons and feelings with people, situations and life events.  Internal dialogue is often the filter through which we extract meaning from our everyday life;
8397.  When your internal dialogue is full of negativity, frustration and gloominess, your reality or perception becomes equally gloomy.  Similarly, when your internal filter is filled with positivity, optimism and uplifting internal dialogue that becomes the frame of your life and, consequently, your reality;
8398.  Think of your internal dialogue as a blank canvas that can be painted with just about anything that you want to;
8399.  Gratitude is a potent mental state that leads to a complete transformation of our internal framework.  It shifts that focus for what we need or don’t have in our lives to our blessings, which places us in a more positive frame of mind.  All you need to do is affirm all the things you are grateful for by saying something like, “I am truly grateful for . . . .”  Recount all the things you are thankful for including things you take for granted such as your eyesight, the limbs you walk on, the clothes you wear and the roof above your head;
8400.  By counting your blessings, you are creating a positive momentum for a powerful internal dialogue;

Monday, December 2, 2019

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0167

8301.  Get into the habit of intentionally doing things that induce a sense of happiness and joy within you;
8302.  Several ways to bring more joy into your spirit including performing random acts of kindness, practicing gratitude, being in the midst of nature, exercising, engaging in productive hobbies, creative visualization and reminiscing about past experiences that have brought you happiness;
8303.  Celebrating positive emotions helps you attract more of this positive mindset and it helps create positive experiences;
8304.  Try to establish a link between your emotions and the actions or behavior resulting from those emotions;
8305.  Ask people whom you’ve known for a long time to give you honest, genuine and constructive feedback about your strengths and areas of development;
8306.  You may agree or disagree with them, but you’ll get a good idea about the effect your emotions and actions have on others, thus, shielding you from blind spots.  You will recognize the effect your behavior has on others whether you intend to create that effect or not.  Sometimes even we are unaware of the effect we have on others;
8307.  Effort is sometimes the answer.  Other times it means you’re doing the wrong thing.  The things that are effortless are sometimes the most useful and important;
8308.  Don’t mistake yourself for the wave.  If you’re riding high and things are going well, don’t get cocky.  You’re not the wave, you’re on the wave.  Gratitude is the answer;
8309.  (I can say) I’ve been to a World Series game (with 43,910 other people);
8310.  (I can say) I’ve been to a (World Series) baseball game with a U.S. president (specifically Donald Trump);
8311.  Elizabeth likes Whoppers (malted milk balls);
8312.  The (2019) Washington Nationals survived 5 straight elimination games in October;
8313.  The 2019 World Series is the first (World Series) where the road team won every game;
8314.  (Apparently,) the Texas Rangers (also) used to be the Washington Senators;
8315.  The 2019 Washington Nationals are the 2nd team in MLB history to win the World Series after being at least 12 games under .500 during the regular season (the other team is the 1914 Braves);
8316.  The 2019 Washington Nationals are the 1st team in MLB history to win 3 winner-take-all games in a single postseason;
8317.  The 2019 Washington Nationals are the 1st team ever to knock off 2 postseason opponents who each won at least 105 games.  They beat a 106-win Dodgers club that, by Baseball Prospectus’ (“BP”) third-order records, was the 3rd-most talented in at least 70 years.  They beat the 107-win Astros who, according to BP, were the very best;
8318.  Releasing negative emotions from the mind is facilitated when you perform a physically demanding task such as exercising, kickboxing, running, working out at the gym, swimming and other similar activities.  When you get active and exercise, the body releases feel-good hormones and chemicals that help elevate your mood.  The feel-good endorphins promote a positive state of mind and act as a channel for venting out negative emotions;
8319.  You can use art or other forms of creativity for restructuring your negative feelings and emotions into something constructive and positive, thus, taking the focus away from these destructive feelings;
8320.  It is extremely therapeutic to sometimes give in and vent your negative feelings or emotions (towards yourself or others) through a specific symbolic ritual.  This is a tangible or physical way to release negative motional experiences;
8321.  Understanding, encouraging and supportive family members and friends can quickly change your mood and help you deal with painful emotions;
8322.  Talking to another person may help you gain a different perspective on your situation.  You may begin to see things in a manner you hadn’t considered earlier.  Sometimes it is important to get a different and fresher perspective on your issues to resolve them;
8323.  Reaching out to others is not a sign of weakness.  Rather it shows you are strong enough to ask for help to reduce your pain;
8324.  Ruminating about problems only worsens them.  Just try to understand it in a more objective manner.  Don’t make mountains out of molehills by focusing on negative emotions;
8325.  When finding yourself tempted to ruminate about an issue, schedule a worry period for a few minutes each;
8326.  French maid costume/outfit . . . check;
8327.  I can say I’ve been to a World Series championship parade (for the Washington Nationals);
8328.  Sweet vermouth tastes like condensed Riesling or ice wine (to me);
8329.  (And) dry vermouth tastes like “turned” white wine (to me);
8330.  A rocks/neat pour is 1 ½ shots (i.e., 2.75 oz. pour);
8331.  Apparently, famous musicians (will) answer the/their phone(s);
8332.  “The Weepies” live in Iowa City(, Iowa);
8333.  Apparently, Rachael Yamagata calls “The Weepies” “The Sleepies;”
8334.  The Milk Bar (crack) pie is tasty. . . . It tastes like a sugar cookie crossed with an oatmeal cookie (to me);
8335.  Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive.  Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike;
8336.  You practice forgiveness for two reasons: 1.  To let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with that person; and 2.  To free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment;
8337.  Resentment is like venom that continues to pour through your system doing its poisonous damage long after being bitten by the snake.  It’s not the bite that kills you; it’s the venom.  You can remove venom by making a decision to let go of resentments;
8338.  Try to think about the issue for no longer than 25-30 minutes each day;
8339.  Try to recognize the triggers that lead to rumination;
8340.  Identify the worst that can happen in the given scenario and determine different ways to handle the issue.  Having a plan of action ready for dealing with the worst will put you in a more confident state of mind about niggling issues;
8341.  Don’t automatically assume the worst until you have clear evidence of it;
8342.  When you change your self-talk, you alter your mood.  Positive self-talk can completely transform the way you feel.  Whenever you find the negative self-talk rambling in your head, replace it;
8343.  If you have been thinking negatively for long, you won’t be able to switch to positive thoughts easily.  In such a scenario, you’ll find greater success with neutral or realistic thoughts;
8344.  Changing or altering the meaning leads to a change in our state of mind.  A change in the state of mind leads to changes in responses, which eventually reflects in our behavior.  Doing things differently can help us change our reality as well as our perception of the world or reality;
8345.  The thing about goals is that living without them is a lot more fun in the short term; however, it seems that the people who get things done, who lead, who grow and who make an impact, those people have goals;
8346.  It’s all about mindset.  From the moment you wake up to the moment you rest your head at night.  Everything is up to you . . . your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions and your reactions;
8347.  Content reframe refers to offering a different meaning to a thought or statement by obtaining more content that completely changes or reframes the focus of your though;
8348.  Writing a journal can help your thoughts flow freely or unhindered.  Attempt to identify your problem in a single sentence.  Think of every possible solution that you can.  Allow your imaginative problem-solving skills to freely come up with different possibilities;
8349.  Every time you rise each morning and even before you move out of your bed, start visualizing your day.  How do you want the day to unfold?
8350.  (In 1963,) Ford tried to buy Ferrari;

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0166

8251.  It’s okay to stretch a little, but don’t stretch beyond what you can actually pay.  If you make a poor financial decision up front, you’ll end up struggling and it can compound and become a bigger problem throughout the life of your loan.  It can undo all the hard work you’ve put into the other areas of your financial life;
8252.  To make a sound decision about buying a house: 1.  Check your credit score. – The higher your score, the better the interest rate on your mortgage will be.  If your credit score is low, it might be a better decision to delay buying until you can improve your score.  Good credit translates into not only a lower total cost, but lower monthly payments; 2.  Save as much (money) as possible for a down payment. – If you can’t save enough to put 20% down, you’ll have to get Private Mortgage Insurance (“PMI”), which serves as insurance against you defaulting.  PMI typically costs between .5-1% of the mortgage plus an annual charge.  The more you put down, the less PMI you’ll have to pay.  If you haven’t been able to save at least 10% to put down, stop thinking about buying a house; 3.  Calculate the total amount of buying a new house. – Even small surprises will end up costing you a lot of money.  Ideally the total price shouldn’t be much more than 3 times your gross annual income.  You should ask your parents and other homeowners for surprise costs or just research “surprise costs of owning a house;” 4.  Get the most conservative, boring loan possible. – Get a 30-year fixed-rate loan.  You’ll pay more in interest compared to a 15-year loan, but a 30-year loan is more flexible to repay; 5.  Don’t forget to check for perks. – Many state and local governments offer benefits for first-time home buyers.  Don’t forget to check with any associations you belong to including local credit unions, alumni associations and teacher’s associations.  You may get access to special lower mortgage rates.  Even check your Costco membership.  They offer special rates for members too; and 6.  Use online services to comparison shop. – Check Zillow.com, Redfin.com and Trulia.com for home prices and information about buying a house including tax records and neighborhood reviews.  Check Insure.com for homeowner’s insurance.  And don’t forget to call your auto insurance company and ask them for a discounted rate if you give them your homeowner’s insurance business;
8253.  Myths about owning a home: 1.  Prices in real estate always go up. – Net house prices haven’t increased when you factor in inflation, taxes and other homeowner fees.  They appear to be higher because the sticker price is higher; 2.  You can use leverage to increase your money. – True, but leverage can work against you if the price goes down; 3.  I can deduct my mortgage interest from my taxes and save a lot of money. – Tax savings are great, but people forget they’re saving money they ordinarily would never have spent.  The amount you pay out owning a house is much higher than you would for any rental when you include maintenance, renovations, higher insurance costs, etc.;
8254.  Set up an automatic savings plan.  Assume you’ll spend $35,000.00 on your wedding, $20,000.00 on a care, $20,000.00 for the first 2 years of your first-born child and however much you’ll need for a typical down payment for a house in your city and then figure out how much you need to save;
8255.  You can’t have the best of everything so prioritize;
8256.  (I can say) I’ve been to a (National) League Championship Series game (with 43,975 other people);
8257.  (I can say) I’ve seen a (National) League Championship Series clinching-win;
8258.  The 2019 Washington Nationals became the 4th team in baseball history – after the 1914 Boston Braves, the 1973 New York Mets and the 2005 Houston Astros – to go from 12 games below .500 in the summer to the World Series in the fall;
8259.  The 2019 Washington Nationals held a lead in 31 of 36 innings against the St. Louis Cardinals and became (just) the 7th team to never trail in a best-of-seven playoff series;
8260.  The Minnesota Twins used to be the Washington Senators;
8261.  The “patatas bravas” (i.e., fried potatoes with spicy tomato sauce & aioli) at Jaleo are (pretty) tasty . . . and so is the “espinacas a la Catalana” (i.e., sautéed spinach with pine nuts, raisins & apples);
8262.  Wow, I actually do like cauliflower (specifically the “coliflor salteada con aceitunas y datiles” (i.e., sautéed cauliflower with dates & olives) at Jaleo);
8263.  Apparently, giving someone the “cold shoulder”/”silent treatment” is considered psychological abuse . . . and it’s passive-aggressive;
8264.  You don’t have to be rich to be a philanthropist just as you don’t have to be rich to invest;
8265.  Top leaders of 200 of the nation’s biggest companies were carefully studied.  Corporate leaders were exceptionally good at academic knowledge, technical skills and the ability to manage their own emotions;
8266.  Emotional intelligence contributed twice as much to their success than all other 3 factors put together;
8267.  Intelligence alone doesn’t take us too far in life unless it is backed by the ability to understand and manage our (and other people’s) emotions;
8268.  While intelligence and technical ability can ascertain if you will be a good fit for a particular industry or role, it is your ability to manage emotions that will determine how good you are at performing the role;
8269.  A study conducted on students by the Yale University Center for emotional intelligence concluded that adolescents who possess high emotional intelligence are less anxious, are seldom bogged down by depression and are less likely to resort to addictions (i.e., alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, etc.).  They are also less aggressive and less likely to display signs of becoming a bully.  Their attention span is higher; they tend to be less hyper and are known to display leadership skills.  These students also excel at academics and the ability to cope with challenges related to it;
8270.  Intellectual prowess without the ability to manage emotions won’t lead us on a path to success because at the end of the day we have to deal with people all the time;
8271.  Emotional intelligence without technical skills and IQ will not lead us in the right direction;
8272.  Emotional quotient and intelligence quotient both complement each other to ensure overall success in different spheres of an individual’s life;
8273.  No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care;
8274.  According to a study conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership, 75% of all careers go astray owing to emotional incompetency, the inability to deal with interpersonal issues, unsatisfactory leadership skills during crisis or conflicts, the inability to inspire people’s trust and failure to adapt;
8275.  Your emotional quotient is not etched in stone.  It isn’t something that can never be altered;
8276.  You don’t need to give natural childbirth to a good idea.  You can adopt!
8277.  A huge component of emotional and social intelligence is being open, agreeable and flexible;
8278.  Social intelligence is about accepting and respecting other people’s perspectives even if it is different from your own.  It is about being flexible enough to identify and incorporate the good in other people’s suggestions;
8279.  People who lack social intelligence often become increasingly anxious in a social situation which hinders their ability to connect with people;
8280.  Signs that you lack social and emotional intelligence: 1.  You often think people are being too sensitive to your humor or jokes and are overreacting; 2.  You jump into any conversation with absolute assertiveness and refuse to budge most of the time.  You are also quick to defend your stand with gusto should anyone even question it reasonably; 3.  You think social popularity and being liked in your workplace is grossly overrated.  As long as you do your work and deliver results, it shouldn’t matter whether people like you or not; 4.  You have extremely high expectations of yourself and others many times bordering on unreasonable and impractical; 5.  You get irritated and frustrated when others expect you to understand how they feel.  Your thought process is, “How am I supposed to know or understand someone else’s feelings without them talking to me about it?”; 6.  Most of the time you feel like people don’t understand your point or know where you are coming from which makes you annoyed and upset; and 7.  You always find yourself blaming other people and circumstances for your shortcomings and failures.  You seldom accept responsibility and accountability for your acts and you pass the buck elsewhere;
8281.  Self-awareness is the ability to identify or understand one’s own emotions;
8282.  Self-awareness is also being able to manage your emotions and understand their impact on other people.  It is about knowing how your mood, behavior, attitude and feelings can affect others around you and, therefore, managing your emotions to create the desired effect on others;
8283.  Self-aware people have a wonderful sense of humor, can view the positives in any situation, are self-assured about their abilities and are fully aware of the impact they have on others or how others see them;
8284.  Emotionally intelligent people can regulate, control and manage their emotions.  They seldom react on impulse or give in to involuntary responses.  Their responses are more well-thought and considered;
8285.  Emotionally intelligent people are smart enough to understand the right place and time to express those emotions in an appropriate manner;
8286.  People who are high in self-regulation are more flexible, agreeable and have the ability to adapt effectively to change.  They are wonderful at conflict management and diffusing potentially volatile situations.  The increased self-regulation also leads to a greater sense of conscientiousness.  These folks have a good grip on the impact they have on others and accept responsibility for their behavior;
8287.  Emotionally intelligent people are intrinsically motivated by elements that go beyond recognition, rewards, money, fame and other similar things.  They are driven by an inner desire to fulfill their objectives and passions.  They crave internal rewards and gain their high from doing things they love;
8288.  People who are intrinsically motivated are more action-oriented when it comes to setting and fulfilling goals.  They have a high need for accomplishment and are constantly looking for ways to improve their performance;
8289.  Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes to understand things from her/his perspective;
8290.  Empathy is about recognizing and understanding the other person’s emotional state as well as knowing how best to respond to the person’s emotions based on the available emotional information;
8291.  Being empathetic allows you to be a good leader and understand the feelings of your team or followers without much effort;
8292.  Practice observing and identifying your feelings all day.  How do certain experiences at various points in time during the day make you feel?
8293.  Labeling emotions makes it easier to identify specific emotions because even emotions like anger can have several different forms.  It can be anger out of humiliation, anger induced by a feeling of jealousy or anger owing to expectations that are not met;
8294.  Naming your emotions makes it easier to identify and manage them.  This practice also lets you take a step back from reacting impulsively and focusing on the cognitive parts of the brain for resolving issues.  It will help you understand and make sense of your feelings more effectively;
8295.  Consciously pay more attention to your emotions and link them to everyday experiences;
8296.  When you kill physical stress, the mental stress naturally melts away;
8297.  Each time you find yourself feeling stressed or tensed, take a slow, deep breath.  Focus completely on your breath and practice deep breathing.  Pay attention to how it feels to have oxygen enter your lungs.  Notice how your mouth, throat, lungs and abdomen feel when you breathe in and out.  Concentrate on the flow of air in and out of the abdominal cavity.  Taking even a few deep breaths will make you feel better and you will be in a positive frame of mind while interacting with other people;
8298.  Each time you find yourself diverting focus away from your breath, gently acknowledge the feeling without judging it and move the focus back to your breath.  Stay in the present moment in a purposeful manner.  Avoid thinking about the past or future and focus only on the breath;
8299.  Practice mindfulness (i.e., focus your attention on the present moment in a purposeful and nonjudgmental manner) in all spheres of life to calm down your spirit (especially if you happen to be hot-tempered or easily irritable);
8300.  Even though you may completely believe that your perspective or way of looking at things is right, get into the habit of considering it from different angles rather than giving in to knee-jerk responses;