What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0176

8751.  Like physical pain our psychological pain is an indication of something out of equilibrium some limitation that has been exceeded;

8752.  Like our physical pain our psychological pain is not necessarily always bad or even undesirable;

8753.  In some cases experiencing emotional or psychological pain can be healthy or necessary;

8754.  Problems never go away they just improve;

8755.  The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one;

8756.  Don’t hope for a life without problems; hope for a life full of good problems;

8757.  Happiness comes from solving problems;

8758.  Happiness is a constant work-in-progress because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress.  The solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problems and so on;

8759.  True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving;

8760.  Some people deny that their problems exist in the first place.  And because they deny reality they must constantly delude or distract themselves from reality.  This may make them feel good in the short term, but it leads to a life of insecurity, neuroticism and emotional repression;

8761.  Some choose to believe that there is nothing they can do to solve their problems even when they in fact could.  Victims seek to blame others for their problems or blame outside circumstances.  This may make them feel better in the short term, but it leads to a life of anger, helplessness and despair;

8762.  People deny and blame others for their problems for the simple reason that it’s easy and feels good while solving problems is hard and often feels bad;

8763.  Almost anything can become addictive depending on the motivation behind using it;

8764.  Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of beneficial change;

8765.  Negative emotions are a call to action.  When you feel them it’s because you’re supposed to do something;

8766.  Positive emotions are rewards for taking the proper action;

8767.  Apparently, the Chinese symbol for crisis/danger and opportunity are the same;

8768.  Crisis can be seen as crisis . . . or it can be seen as (an) opportunity;

8769.  Substitutes for butter in baking: 1.  Applesauce: You can replace butter in baking recipes with unsweetened applesauce by using half of the amount of applesauce as the amount of butter called for in the recipe.  This works well in sugar cookies, cakes and breads like banana or zucchini bread; 2.  Vegetable oil: You can substitute ¾ cup of vegetable oil for every 1 cup of butter.  This works well in all manner of baking recipes; 3.  Buttermilk: You can substitute ½ cup of buttermilk for every 1 cup of butter.  This works well for all recipes with the exception of pie crust (i.e., it changes the consistency of the dough and makes it crumbly instead of flaky.  No buttermilk on hand?  Just add 1 tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar per cup of milk and let stand 5 minutes; 4.  Avocado: You can substitute pureed avocado in equal parts for the amount of butter called for; 5.  Greek yogurt: For a higher protein substitution, use half of the amount of Greek yogurt as the amount of butter.  This works especially well in cakes because it creates a velvety texture; 6.  Pumpkin puree: For every cup of butter called for in a recipe, use ¾ cup of pumpkin (or butternut, Hubbard or other similar squash) puree.  You can also substitute pumpkin puree in equal amount to the quantity of oil in a baking recipe; 7.  Coconut oil: If the recipe calls for a substantial amount of butter, you might notice a flavor difference in the finished product so it is not the best in savory breads, but works fine in cakes, cookies and muffins; 8.  Prune puree: Similar to pumpkin puree, substitute ¾ cup of prune puree (you can use prune baby food) for every cup of butter in a baked item.  This works best for cakes and brownies, but it will darken the color of the finished product adding a reddish-purple tone; 9.  Olive oil: Use ¾ cup of olive oil for every cup of butter called for.  Note that olive oil has a strong flavor and works best in savory items like herb breads or biscuits and would likely hurt the flavor of sweeter items such as cakes, cookies or pie crusts.  It is a tasty substitute for butter in crusts for meat or pot pies ; and 10.  Applesauce & buttermilk: If you are concerned about the integrity of the taste of the dish, use ¼ cup unsweetened applesauce and ¼ cup buttermilk for every cup of butter in a recipe.  It does not work well for pie crust; it changes the texture too much;

8770.  (Putting) peanut butter in ramen (noodles) is pretty good. . . . Who knew?  It makes (kind of) a peanut sauce;

8771.  Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Being willing is not enough; we must do;

8772.  Negative emotions are a call to action.  When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something;

8773.  Positive emotions are rewards for taking the proper action;

8774.  Emotions are part of the equation of our lives, but not the entire equation.  Just because something feels good doesn’t mean it is good.  Just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad.  Emotions are merely signpost, suggestions that our neurobiology gives us not commandments.  Therefore, we shouldn’t always trust our own emotions;

8775.  Many people are taught to repress their emotions for various personal, social or cultural reasons particularly negative emotions.  Sadly to deny one’s negative emotions is to deny many of the feedback mechanisms that help a person solve problems;

8776.  Decision-making based on emotional intuition without the aid of reason to keep it in line pretty much always sucks;

8777.  A fixation on happiness inevitably amounts to a never-ending pursuit of “something else” . . . a new house, a new relationship, another child, another pay raise.  And despite all of our sweat and strain, we end up feeling eerily similar to how we started: inadequate;

8778.  The “hedonic treadmill” is the idea that we’re always working hard to change our life situation, but we actually never feel very different;

8779.  Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice.  Whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad.  What we gain is also what we lose.  What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences;

8780.  We like the idea that there’s some form of ultimate happiness that can be attained.  We like the idea that we can alleviate all of our suffering permanently.  We like the idea that we can feel fulfilled and satisfied with our lives forever, but we cannot;

8781.  A question that most people never consider is, “What pain do you want in your life?  What are you willing to struggle for?”  Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out;

8782.  Most people want to get the corner office and make a boatload of money, but not many people want to suffer through 60-hour workweeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork and arbitrary corporate hierarchies to escape the confines of an infinite cubicle hell.  Most people want to have great sex and an awesome relationship, but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there.  And so they settle;

8783.  Happiness requires struggle.  It grows from problems.  Joy doesn’t sprout out of the ground like daisies and rainbows.  Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles;

8784.  What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?”  The relevant question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?”  The path to happiness is a path of shit heaps and shame.  You have to choose something.  You can’t have a pain-free life.  It can’t all be roses and unicorns all of the time.  Pleasure is the easy question;

8785.  Our struggles determine our successes.  Our problems birth our happiness along with slightly better, slightly upgraded problems;

8786.  Elizabeth likes Gillian Welch . . . and John Prine (i.e., singer-songwriters);

8787.  The best tasting Oreo I’ve ever had was the one I ate after coming down from LSD;

8788.  Hot, frozen pizza tastes really good after coming down from LSD;

8789.  Elizabeth likes “The xx” (i.e., English indie pop band);

8790.  Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least;

8791.  Merely feeling good about yourself doesn’t really mean anything unless you have a good reason to feel good about yourself;

8792.  Adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults;

8793.  A true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves;

8794.  A person who actually has a high self-worth is able to look at the negative parts of her/his character frankly and then acts to improve upon them;

8795.  Entitled people because they are incapable of acknowledging their own problems openly and honestly are incapable of improving their lives in any lasting or meaningful way.  They are left chasing high after high and accumulate greater and greater levels of denial;

8796.  Most people don’t correctly identify as entitlement are those people who perpetually feel as though they’re inferior and unworthy of the world.  Construing everything in life so as to make yourself out to be constantly victimized requires just as much selfishness as the opposite.  It takes just as much energy and delusional self-aggrandizement to maintain the belief that one has insurmountable problems as that one has no problems at all;

8797.  Realization that you and your problems are actually not privileged in their severity or pain is the first and most important step toward solving them;

8798.  If you’re exceptional at one thing, chances are you’re average or below average at most other things;

8799.  To become truly great at something, you have to dedicate a lot of time and energy to it.  Because we all have limited time and energy few of us ever become truly exceptional at more than one thing if anything at all;

8800.  We’re all for the most part pretty average people, but it’s the extremes that get all of the publicity;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0175

8701.  You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.  You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life;

8702.  Ever notice that sometimes when you care less about something you do better at it?

8703.  What’s interesting about the backwards law is that it’s called “backwards” for a reason: not caring works in reverse.  If pursuing the positive is a negative then pursuing the negative generates the positive;

8704.  Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others;

8705.  The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships;

8706.  Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance;

8707.  Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience;

8708.  The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering;

8709.  The avoidance of struggle is a struggle;

8710.  The denial of failure is a failure;

8711.  Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame;

8712.  Panic is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it;

8713.  Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively – how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not matter to you based on finely honed personal values;

8714.  When you care about everyone and everything, you will feel that you’re perpetually entitled to be comfortable and happy at all times that everything is supposed to be just exactly the way you want it to be.  This is a sickness.  And it will eat you alive.  You will see every adversity as an injustice, every challenge as a failure, every convenience as a personal slight and every disagreement as a betrayal;

8715.  Not caring does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different;

8716.  Indifferent people are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices.  That’s why they don’t make any meaningful choices.  They hide in a gray, emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitying, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life;

8717.  To not care about adversity, you must first care about something more important than adversity;

8718.  If you find yourself consistently caring too much about trivial things that bother you, chances are you don’t have much going on in your life to legitimately care about.  And that’s your real problem;

8719.  When a person has no problems, the mind automatically finds a way to invent some;

8720.  What most people especially educated, pampered middle-class, white people consider “life problems” are really just side effects of not having anything more important to worry about;

8721.  Finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and energy.  Because if you don’t find that meaningful something, your cares will be given to meaningless and frivolously causes;

8722.  Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to care about;

8723.  Maturity is what happens when one learns to only care about what’s truly worthy;

8724.  Because when we believe that it’s not okay for things to suck sometimes then we unconsciously starting blaming ourselves.  We start to feel as though something is inherently wrong with us, which drives us to all sorts of overcompensation;

8725.  Practical enlightenment is becoming comfortable with the idea that some suffering is always inevitable that no matter what you do life is comprised of failures, loss, regrets and even death;

8726.  Once you become comfortable with all that life throws at you, you become invincible in a sort of low-level spiritual way;

8727.  The only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it;

8728.  Apples: Apples only stay fresh a few days on the counter.  They do best in the crisping drawer of your refrigerator;

8729.  Avocados: If your avocados are still hard and green, leave them at room temperature on the counter to ripen.  If you need to speed up the ripening, stick them in a brown paper bag so they’re trapped with their ethylene gas.  But if you’re trying to keep a ripe avocado around longer, the solution is simple: stick it in the fridge.  The cool atmosphere slows the ripening process;

8730.  Broccoli: No matter how many times you’ve seen broccoli tightly wrapped in plastic at your local grocery it’s not the best way to store it.  Raw broccoli requires airflow and moisture to stay fresh.  An ideal way to keep it is to put it stem-side down in a vase with water in the refrigerator.  By making a broccoli bouquet, you’re providing water and still letting the bushy tops get the oxygen they need.  If that seems too intense, you can loosely wrap your broccoli in damp paper towels and refrigerate;

8731.  Berries: Give them a vinegar bath then store them on paper towels to help soak up moisture.  White vinegar kills the spores fresh berries accumulate before they arrive in your kitchen.  And, if you rinse them well, they won’t taste like vinegar.  This treatment might be a bit much for raspberries, just rinse before you eat them;

8732.  Carrots: Slice off the green tops, which draw moisture from the carrots, making them wither more quickly.  Place them, unpeeled, in a sealed plastic bag in your refrigerator’s crisper drawer (for up to two weeks).  If you buy pre-trimmed carrots, like baby-cut, they last longer if you submerge them in water in a tightly-covered container.  Just be sure to change the water frequently;

8733.  Citrus fruit: The vegetable drawer is the best spot.  And don’t enclose oranges in airtight bags or containers;

8734.  Cucumbers: They shouldn’t be in the refrigerator.  They’ll go soft days in advance if they’re stored below 50 degrees.  They’re sensitive to ethylene, so keep them away from other countertop dwellers like bananas and tomatoes;

8735.  Fresh herbs: Rinse herbs and dry them thoroughly in a salad spinner then transfer them to paper towel rolls or stand them upright in mason jars of water (depending on the herb);

8736.  Leafy greens: To keep leafy greens like spinach, chard and collard greens fresh longer, wash and dry them well then wrap them in paper towels.  Keep the bunches whole unless you plan on using them soon.  Place the paper towel roll into a perforated, unsealed plastic bag.  If you’re dealing with salad greens, dumping washed leaves into a paper towel-lined plastic storage container is your best bet;

8737.  Onions: Don’t store onions in direct sunlight.  Keep your onions in a cool, dark, well-ventilated and dry place;

8738.  Potatoes: Potatoes do best in a cool, dark, dry place, but not too cool.  If potatoes are stored under 50 degrees, their starches can convert to sugar, which is actually (really) bad.  Potatoes exposed to too much light may sprout.  They’re still safe to eat, but you should cut the sprouts off first.  You may notice that potatoes and onions like similar environments, but you’ll want to find two different cool, dark, dry spots in your house.  If you store them together, they’ll both go bad more quickly;

8739.  Life itself is a form of suffering.  The rich suffer because of their riches.  The poor suffer because of their poverty.  People without a family suffer because they have no family.  People with a family suffer because of their family.  People who pursue worldly pleasures suffer because of their worldly pleasures.  People who abstain from worldly pleasures suffer because of their abstention;

8740.  All suffering isn’t equal.  Some suffering is certainly more painful than other suffering, but we all must suffer nonetheless;

8741.  Pain and loss are inevitable and we should let go of trying to resist them;

8742.  A premise that underlies a lot of our assumptions and beliefs is the premise that happiness is algorithmic, that it can be worked for and earned and achieved as if it were getting accepted to law school or building a really complicated Lego set.  If I achieve X then I can be happy.  If I look like Y then I can be happy.  If I can be with a person like Z then I can be happy;

8743.  The premise that happiness is algorithmic is the problem.  Happiness is not a solvable equation;

8744.  Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature and necessary components to creating consistent happiness;

8745.  The greatest truths in life are usually the most unpleasant to hear;

8746.  We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful.  It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change.  We have evolved to always live with a certain degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity because it’s the mildly dissatisfied and insecure creature that’s going to do the most work to innovate and survive.  We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied by only what we do not have.  This constant dissatisfaction has kept our species fighting and striving, building and conquering.  So our own pain and misery aren’t a bug of human evolution; they’re a feature;

8747.  Pain in all of its forms is our body’s most effective means of spurring action;

8748.  Pain is what teaches us what to pay attention to when we’re young or careless.  It helps show us what’s good for us versus what’s bad for us.  It helps us understand and adhere to our own limitations;

8749.  It’s not always beneficial to avoid pain and seek pleasure since pain can, at times ,be life-or-death important to our well-being;

8750.  Research has found that our brains don’t register much difference between physical pain and psychological pain;