What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0216

10751.  Misery lies between your expectations and reality.  Close the gap;
10752.  The universe is very giving.  Nobody has tried 100% and never got what they wanted;
10753.  Jealousy can either be demotivating or used to beat them;
10754.  Motivation is not a real thing; discipline is;
10755.  The result of everything that happens to you either good or bad is completely and utterly your fault;
10756.  If you allow life to happen to you and you’re not going to happen life, you’re at the mercy of the wind;
10757.  Don’t make excuses.  Don’t play the victim  .You’ll end up stagnating and going around in circles;
10758.  People complain for sympathy and dopamine;
10759.  Nothing happens by accident.  Calculate, plan and reflect;
10760.  It’s very easy to become a professional at big things when you’ve mastered being a professional at small things (e.g., never be late, wake up on time, replay to calls/e-mails punctually, etc.);
10761.  Women, who mean the most truly protect my spirit, love, care and use intuition to truly want the best for me;
10762.  Respect your elders.  Confront adversity with respect.  Phrase questions or challenge ideas in a thoughtful and respectful way;
10763.  The way you perceive stress or any stimulus will affect the outcome.  Negativity breeds negativity; positivity breeds positivity.  Outlook is key;
10764.  Get off the internet, interact and put yourself in difficult scenarios;
10765.  To the older population, we are the weirdos; understand the variety of different upbringings in different eras.  Don’t be so narrowminded and arrogant;
10766.  Status signaling has been around from the dawn of time; peacocks have feathers for a reason;
10767.  Money, status and power are driven by the innate ability to (want to) find the best partner;
10768.  Men also want the respect from/of other men;
10769.  Discomfort and trauma, channeled in the right way, can birth amazing things;
10770.  The most monumental things achieved in life have been on the backs of being pissed off or sad;
10771.  For average guys, social media can be a very negative experience.  Do you use that negative experience as motivation or sulk and victim blame?
10772.  Wherever you’re at in your life, how can you add to your quality of life by subtraction?
10773.  Anger is just an emotion that covers up hurt.  Hurt is just an emotion that covers up fear.  Fear is just an emotion that covers up insecurities;
10774.  When you are angry, don’t feed into it.  Stop, pause and ask yourself what is hurting me?
10775.  Nolan Ryan never won a Cy Young( Award for best pitcher in Major League Baseball);
10776.  Gordie Howe only had 2 Gordie Howe hat tricks (i.e., a goal, an assist and a fight) in his (very long) career;
10777.  Freedom of expression does not equal the absence of consequence;
10778.  Skrewball whiskey does tastes like a peanut butter cup;
10779.  According to a real estate agent friend( of mine), a little known rule about multiunit housing with a FHA loan is that the units you aren’t living in need to cash flow the entire property;
10780.  Laura Benanti’s mom(, Linda,) is a vocal coach. . . . She lives in McLean(, Virginia);
10781.  The motions of a symphony are called “movements” because the music should “move” you;
10782.  Liz Phair had an affair (with her manager) towards the end of her marriage;
10783.  Charlie (Dog) likes pumpkin;
10784.  The bottom 80% of men are fighting over the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are fighting over the top 20% of men on Tinder/dating app(lication)s;
10785.  The male is likely to “like” the female 6.2 times more often than the female “likes” the male on Tinder/dating app(lication)s;
10786.  The United States currently has one of the higher Gini coefficients (i.e., most income inequality) of all of the world’s biggest economies at a value of 0.41.  The Tinder Gini coefficient is even higher at 0.58.  This may not seem like a big difference, but it is actually huge.  The United States Gini coefficient is higher than 62% of the world’s countries.  The Tinder economy has a higher Gini coefficient than 95.1% of the countries in the world.  The only countries that have a higher Gini coefficient than Tinder are Angola, Haiti, Botswana, Namibia, Comoros, South Africa, Equatorial Guinea and Seychelles;
10787.  A man of average attractiveness can only expect to be “liked” on Tinder/dating app(lication)s by slightly less than 1% of females (i.e., 0.87%).  This equates to 1 “like” for every 115 females;
10788.  You can be above average attractiveness and still only get liked by a few percent of women on Tinder/dating app(lication)s;
10789.  If you aren’t in the very upper echelons of Tinder wealth (i.e., attractiveness), you aren’t likely to have much success using Tinder/dating app(lication)s;
10790.  At the root of emotional immaturity is the lack of ability to regulate our emotions or to sit in emotional discomfort;
10791.  We skip from big moment to big moment and that’s the story we tell ourselves about our lives, but most of what we do is small, private and individually witnessed and experienced;
10792.  We might deepen our healing if we stop chronically dissecting our partner’s avoidance, narcissism or emotional availability and begin asking ourselves why we pursue people who cannot care for us in the ways that we need;
10793.  No one is coming to save you;
10794.  Personal accountability is the path to freedom;
10795.  Creating a different life means creating new habits;
10796.  Not everyone will want the best for you and that’s okay;
10797.  Old Ebbitt Grill is (Washington) D.C.’s oldest (bar and) restaurant;
10798.  (Remember to )check when the quarter ends;
10799.  Being negative only makes the journey more difficult. . . . You may be given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it;

10800.  My dad is a hypochondriac;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0215

10701.  According to Richard Patrick( the lead singer of “Filter”), he was rejected for a record(ing) contract at 17 because he sounded too much like U2;
10702.  Johnny Marr was the guitarist and co-songwriter for “The Smiths;”
10703.  Pizza dough and bread dough are the same( thing);
10704.  The food at The Anthem in D.C. is pretty good (in particular the chicken masala wrap and the pork bao buns);
10705.  I can say that I was at The Anthem’s 5^th anniversary concert with Johnny Marr and The Killers;
10706.  To me, short(er)-haired Brandon Flowers (the lead singer of “The Killers”) looks like a younger Dennis Quaid with a little bit of Tom Cruise( mixed in);
10707.  Apparently, olive oil solidifies/thickens when you put it in the refrigerator;
10708.  Bindaas Bowls & Rolls (BindaasBowls.com) in D.C. is good. . . . It’s the Chipotle for Indian (street) food;
10709.  Before you book your flight to a (foreign) country, check the visa requirements;
10710.  It's strange/weird to have a cidery open up 100 feet from where you went to elementary/grade school;
10711.  The ciders at Sly Clyde Ciderworks (SlyClyde.com) in Hampton, Virginia, are actually (pretty) good;
10712.  You can get a can of Narragansett (beer) and a shot of (rail/well) whiskey for $6.00 all day every day at the Deadrise (TheDeadriseVa.com) in Hampton, Virginia;
10713.  If you like flat soda, try nitro (Pepsi) soda;
10714.  Ray Dalio’s all-weather portfolio is: 1.  40% in long-term U.S. bonds (i.e., iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond, TLT); 2.  30% in U.S. equities/stocks (i.e., Vanguard Total Stock Market, VTI); 3.  15% in intermediate-term U.S. bonds (i.e., iShares 3-7 Year Treasury Bond, IEI); 4.  7.5% in gold (i.e., SPDR Gold Trust, GLD); and 5.  7.5% in broad, diversified commodities (i.e., iShares S&P GSCI Commodity Indexed Trust, GSG);
10715.  David Swensen’s Yale endowment portfolio is: 1.  30% in U.S. equities/stocks (i.e., Vanguard Total Stock Market, VTI); 2.  20% in U.S. real estate (i.e., Vanguard Real Estate, VNQ); 3.  15% in long-term U.S. bonds (i.e., iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond, TLT); 4.  15% in all-term U.S. bonds (i.e., iShares TIPS Bond, TIP); 5.  15% in international equities/stocks (i.e., Vanguard FTSE Developed Markets, VEA); and 6.  5% in emerging equities/stocks (i.e., iShares MSCI Emerging Markets, EEM);
10716.  It’s easy to self-sabotage because it enables you to predict the future and gives you an illusion of control;
10717.  Trying to do things perfectly is slowly suffocating and killing you.  Take the first step and let it be imperfect.  Do it wrong;
10718.  Paul Tudor Jones (the investor) was a welterweight boxing champion at the University of Virginia;
10719.  Anxiety is a marker for pain and pain is a marker for damage.  Therefore, you experience anxiety before you experience pain as it’s part of a defense mechanism;
10720.  Agreeableness helps us solve the problem of how much to value our own interests compared to others;
10721.  Agreeable behavior is an adaptation for maternal care while disagreeable behavior is an adaptation for predatory aggression;
10722.  Disagreeable people are unlikely to be used by others, often receive higher salaries for the same work and do not become resentful;
10723.  Conversely, agreeable people can become resentful or passive aggressive over time;
10724.  It’s not any cheaper to buy tickets for Soundcheck (in D.C.) day of at the door than it is to buy them (in advance) online;
10725.  Apparently, you can only buy additional insurance through your paid-up additions rider (of your whole life insurance policy) as long as your term insurance rider is in place;
10726.  You can tell a cat likes being petted by you, when it purrs, raises its back, rhythmically pushes its claws in and out (i.e., kneading) and/or pushes its face into your hand;
10727.  (The truth is that) when someone insults you, it usually has more to do with him/her and his/her experience than it actually is about you.  Insults usually come from a place of anger and hurt;
10728.  Various evidence has pointed out that what matters most in our lives is meaningful relationships.  They matter more than money, fame or any other external entity (including what that stranger said to you harshly on the street);
10729.  When you have a negative thought (whether that means believing what someone else said about you or finding yourself in an negative thought spiral due to life events), challenge it.  Is there an alternative to this negative thought?  Usually, there is;
10730.  It’s always a good idea to remain hopeful, but also realistic.  This can prevent you from internalizing things or facing an array of negative emotions.  For example, it’s good to hope that you get that scholarship.  But if you’re being realistic and only two out of 20 people get it, it’s important to take this into account when thinking you’ll obtain it;
10731.  Hell-Cat Maggie (Irish) whiskey is/tastes buttery;
10732.  I can say that I’ve sat ice level(, right up against the glass) at a Washington Capitals game;
10733.  Colonel T(h)om(as Andrew) Parker (i.e., Elvis Presley’s manager) was born in the Netherlands as Andreas Cornelis van Kuijk.  He illegally emigrated to the U.S. at the age of 20;
10734.  Elvis (Presley) died at (age) 42( on August 16, 1977);
10735.  Elvis (Presley) is the best-selling solo music artist of all time;
10736.  Liz Phair is afraid of spiders;
10737.  For those choosing to break generational cycles, your parents couldn’t do it.  Their parents couldn’t do it.  But for some reason you noticed the pattern and decided it ends with you.  You’re the prototype;
10738.  The goals people pursue affect their long-term happiness;
10739.  People are happiest when they pursue goals that connect them to other people;
10740.  In the workplace, this is reflected in studies suggesting that when people see their work as connecting to a broader purpose and helping other people to achieve their goals, they’re more satisfied with their careers;
10741.  The happiest people tend to engage in a lot of cooperative goals rather than competitive ones.  This allows people to celebrate their own successes as well as the successes of the people around them;
10742.  Very few things are completely good or completely bad.  Most experiences have some positive elements and some negative ones.  Happy people tend to focus on the positives and to let the negatives of events fade into the background;
10743.  Over the course of your life, people will do bad things to you.  Even the people closest to you in your life will do selfish or mean things.  One thing that happy people do well is to forgive others;
10744.  The interesting thing about forgiveness is that it enables you to forget the details of what someone did that upset you in the first place.  As a result, you will not be reminded of all those negatives when you see them or think about them in the future;
10745.  Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean that you will trust them completely in the future.  There are people who are mean, selfish or unreliable that you might choose not to spend time with or do business with anymore.  Still, forgiving them for what they did will help you to move past those interactions without harboring negative feelings that can drag down your mood or your satisfaction with life;
10746.  Don’t miss the joy of being you when you spend so much (of your) time chasing an ideal/idyllic version of you(rself);
10747.  Eggnog as a coffee creamer . . . do it;
10748.  Be careful with your words.  They can only be forgiven not forgotten;
10749.  Feel the feeling, but don’t become the emotion.  Witness it.  Allow it.  Release it;
10750.  Self-love is the most important thing.  It turns into being able to give love and share love.  What else are we doing all of this for?

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0214

10651.  Success without happiness is not success.  It’s just a well-polished turd.  It looks nice from the outside, but the successful guy knows deep down that underneath the facade is just a bunch of shit;
10652.  So what’s the lesson for you?  Celebrate your wins.  Anchor your success.  Enjoy your success;
10653.  There’s always more you can achieve.  More is not always the answer.  Contentment is the answer;
10654.  Be content with who you are, but not where you are;
10655.  Don’t suppress your good feelings.  Don’t gloss over your wins.  You deserve to be happy;
10656.  You can substitute any of the pizza crusts at California Pizza Kitchen;
10657.  The Jamaican jerk chicken (pizza) at California Pizza Kitchen is (pretty) tasty . . . and so is the spicy Milano( pizza);
10658.  Apparently, there’s such a thing as being a pet nanny. . . . And it can be (very) lucrative; paying as much as $1,500.00 for 4 days of work;
10659.  Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time;
10660.  How to address passive aggressive behavior: 1.  I notice when you give a compliment there’s also a bit of a dig, are you aware of this? 2.  It seems like something is bothering or upsetting you, can we talk about it? 3.  I feel like you’re trying to send me an indirect message here, what is on your mind? and 4.  If you had an expectation that something was to be done, I need you to communicate that;
10661.  The (limited time) Krispy Kreme “Churrdough” doughnut with dulce de leche is really tasty;
10662.  Pinot noir is the primary red wine grape grown in Burgundy, France, so if someone is referring to a “red” Burgundy, they are talking about a pinot noir;
10663.  Donovan Woods had planned to go to law school before he decided to be a singer;
10664.  Matt Nathanson (generally) hates musicals;
10665.  Matt Nathanson calls his daughter “Bubba;”
10666.  Matt Nathanson’s daughter loves musicals;
10667.  You’re the chooser.  Assume she’s going to like you, now you need to decide if you like her;
10668.  If you have a dream, work towards it daily without attachment to the outcome.  Even a teeny tiny step in the right direction is a move in the right direction;
10669.  Apparently, once you’ve had an operation with a surgeon, you have to go back to that surgeon if there are any complications or problems.  Other surgeons won’t touch you because they don’t want to be liable for something another surgeon did;
10670.  Braden Holtby still buys art at the Alexandria Old Town Art Festival;
10671.  A bottle of water can be $.50 at a supermarket, $2.00 at the gym, $3.00 at the movies and $6.00 on a plane . . . same water . . . the only thing that changed its value was the place.  So the next time you feel your worth is nothing maybe you’re at the wrong place;
10672.  Meghan (Wallen) drinks tequila (specifically Casamigos) and (club) soda;
10673.  Every choice we make has an opportunity cost.  The things that you want in your life can’t happen all at once;
10674.  According to my therapist, anxiety can be used to push down/suppress emotions.  In my case, anxiety (expressed by emotionally withdrawing) is used to push down/suppress anger;
10675.  On (Whiskey) Wednesday(s), all bourbons, ryes, Scotches and whiskeys (except flights) are half-off at Whiskey & Oyster (WhiskeyAndOyster.squarespace.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria;
10676.  He knows what he thinks, but I know what I know;
10677.  Love is not just your capacity to give, but also your courage to receive;
10678.  Posting less.  Doing more.  Comparing less.  Reflecting more.  Judging less.  Accepting more.  Complaining less.  Praying more.  Discussing less.  Accomplishing more;
10679.  Altered states can lead to altered traits;
10680.  Trust the ebbs and flows of the friendship that come with life (i.e., times when you’re closer or times when there’s distance);
10681.  Ask if your friend is in a space to listen when you want to vent or share: “Hey I know you have a lot going on, do you have space to listen to something I’m struggling with?”
10682.  Clearly communicate any expectations rather than expecting friends to be able to mind read.  This will keep resentment out of the relationship;
10683.  Ardbeg 10 Years Old (Scotch) is rather/very peaty;
10684.  If you like she-crab soup, do yourself a favor and get the (special) smoked Cajun crab soup, when they have it, at Sweet Fire Donna’s in (Old Town) Alexandria.  It’s really good.  It’s like a Cajun/spicier version of she-crab soup, but lighter and not as heavy;
10685.  Cate Blanchett is Australian( . . . not British);
10686.  According to Meghan( Wallen), the way to recover from (running) a marathon with 5,000 feet of vertical is to drink tequila, sleep 3 hours and then go to a baseball game in a hurricane;
10687.  Pike’s Peak is named after (the explorer,) Zebulon Pike(,) even though he never summited it;
10688.  Apparently, ketamine is known as the heroin of psychedelics;
10689.  4 rule of thumb to carry into the exploration of altered/ecstasis/non-ordinary states: 1.  It’s not about you; and 2.  It’s not about now; Helps us balance ego inflation and time distortion; 3.  Don’t become a bliss junkie; and 4.  Don’t dive too deep; Ensures we don’t get seduced by the sensations and information that arise in altered states;
10690.  Knob Creek smoked maple (Kentucky straight bourbon) does taste like maple syrup;
10691.  When you can, ask yourself if you want to before you do;
10692.  We have to prepare to have freedom.  We have to do the work to then do the job.  We have to prepare for the job so we can be free to do the work;
10693.  We must learn the consequence of negligence; it’s not just what we do, it’s what we don’t do that’s important as well.  We are guilty by omission;
10694.  “If only” means you wanted something, but did not get it.  For some reason, either by your own incompetence or the world’s intervention, it did not happen.  Sometimes this is just the breaks and we need to bow out gracefully.  But more often than we care to admit, we don’t get what we want because we quit early or we didn’t take the necessary risk to get it;
10695.  The more boots we put in the backside of our “if onlys” the more we will get what we want;
10696.  Don’t walk the “it’s too late it’s too soon” tightrope until you die;
10697.  We are all made for every moment we encounter.  Whether the moment makes us or we make the moment.  Whether we are helpless in it or on top of it; the predator or the prey.  We are made for that moment;
10698.  Piece Out Del Ray in Del Ray has Happy Hour on Saturdays and Sundays from 12:00 PM to 7:00 PM and Tuesdays through Friday from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM.  It’s $2.00 off draft beers, $4.00 Piece Out pilsners, $5.00 red sangrias, $5.00 glasses of house red, white and rose wines and $7.00 for a slice of pizza and a Piece Out pilsner;
10699.  Detroit-style pizza is like (a rectangular version of) the old Pizza Hut pan pizza, but less greasy;
10700.  (Taco Bell) Mexican pizzas are just nachos with fewer/less (tortilla) chips;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0213

10601.  Tim Commerford (the bassist for “Rage Against the Machine”) has a full, upper body/torso tattoo;
10602.  Tom Morello (the guitarist for “Rage Against the Machine”) is (pretty) intense too;
10603.  “Rage Against the Machine” may be the hardest (playing and aggressive) band I’ve seen live in concert;
10604.  Charlie (Dog) and Tom Cruise share the same birthday;
10605.  A salad of baby spinach, arugula, blueberries, (red) grapes and walnuts with a poppyseed dressing is (really) tasty;
10606.  Don’t torture yourself by trying to measure up to the fantasy of a perfect life.  What’s good for someone else might be a bad idea for you;
10607.  DJ Diesel (i.e., Shaquille O’Neal) is actually decent/okay( as a deejay);
10608.  I didn’t appreciate/realize how big Shaq(uille O’Neal) is until seeing him in person;
10609.  Apparently, men store emotions in their hips and lower back;
10610.  A curandero/curandera is a traditional native male/female healer/shaman;
10611.  Orangutan means “forest person” in Malay. . . . It seems that the Malaysians of the past did not see orangutans as animals, but as people;
10612.  Breathing deeply in and out through the nose resets the nervous system and eases the fight or flight response;
10613.  Breathing (deeply) in and out through the nose produces alpha waves, which can help us get into a “flow” state;
10614.  I’m the one setting such high standards for myself.  I don’t have to make it so hard on myself;
10615.  I should be patient with myself;
10616.  I can ask for help.  I don’t have to “lone wolf” it( and go it alone);
10617.  “Purging( emotions)” can be by vomiting, diarrhea, heat/sweating, cold, muscle spasms and/or crying;
10618.  A person tends to purge by vomiting if it’s difficult/hard for him/her to cry;
10619.  Most people schedule their work, life, etc. and then let the fun fill in the cracks.  Schedule your fun first and let the rest fill in the cracks;
10620.  Apparently, Jordana (Grader) likes chai lattes . . . and pumpkin spice lattes;
10621.  Apparently, afros are a lot of work to maintain;
10622.  Apparently, there are more men than women in Austin(, Texas);
10623.  Jordana (Grader) says she was cute in Chicago and not so much in Los Angeles;
10624.  Curanderos/curanderas chain smoke like crazy;
10625.  Mapacho (i.e., Aztec/strong tobacco) can contain up to 9 times the nicotine of common tobacco;
10626.  There are pigeons living in the Las Vegas desert. . . . Who knew?
10627.  There are (desert) tortoises in Las Vegas . . . and frogs;
10628.  Once heated, limestone loses its ability to hold heat;
10629.  There’s a great view of Las Vegas at the end of the Calico Tanks trail at Red Rock Canyon (RedRockCanyonLV.org);
10630.  Crumble Cookies (CrumblCookies.com) are tasty . . . especially the milk chocolate chip . . . and they deliver;
10631.  Summerlin South and Spring Valley (in Las Vegas) are (kind of) food deserts;
10632.  Apache Plaza (in Las Vegas) has a lot of Asian restaurants;
10633.  There’s no need to be crazy/outrageous in your first (text) response on Bumble.  Afterall, she messaged you first.  She’s interested;
10634.  You can sign up for guest lists at websites like FreeVegasClubPasses.com, LasVegasNightclubs.com or NoCoverNightclubs.com to get into (Las) Vegas clubs without having to pay (the) outrageous cover/entrance fees( to get in);
10635.  Life hack: If you’re at a (Las Vegas) club (specifically Zouk Nightclub at Resorts World Las Vegas) and you’re thirsty, but you’re not drinking( alcohol), order a club soda instead of a bottle of water.  It’s about half the price (i.e., it’s $13.00 for a 330 ml bottle of Fiji water);
10636.  Rachael has (very) kissable lips;
10637.  Girls (really) don’t remember meeting you in the club (in Las Vegas) when you run into them the next day/night;
10638.  Any success takes one in a row.  Do one thing well then another.  Once then once more.  Over and over until the end then it’s one in a row again;
10639.  Days of prosperity make us forget adversity;
10640.  Good times seem out of reach during the bad ones;
10641.  Both can seem like final destinations; the summation of our days.  Then the cosmic joker plays with our ways.  Yesterday’s condition no longer remains;
10642.  The sooner we become less impressed with our life, our accomplishments, our career, our relationships, the prospects in front of us, the sooner we become less impressed and more involved with these things, the sooner we get better at them.  We must be more than just happy to be here;
10643.  The cinnamon roll waffle at Belga Café (BelgaCafe.com) in D.C. does (actually) taste like a cinnamon roll;
10644.  The frames you use for the world dramatically shift your experience of it;
10645.  Want her; don’t need her.  Do this and you have a chance; don’t, you won’t.  Forever for rent, never to own; the one we all lust for, the constant unknown.  Want her; don’t need her, and she might give it up;
10646.  The road less traveled may not be a dirt road; for some, it may be the autobahn.  Robert Frost was right, taking the road less traveled can make all the difference.  But that road isn’t necessarily the road with the least traffic.  It may be the road that wee, personally, have traveled less.  The introvert may need to get out of the house, engage with the world, get public.  The extrovert may need to stay home and read a book.  Sometimes we need to get out there, sometimes we need to get in there.  Some days our road less traveled is a solitary dirt trail.  On others it’s the subway on the 7 line;
10647.  Are you looking for feedback, advice or just a space to be heard?
10648.  Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for;
10649.  If we don’t say “yes” authentically, we say “yes” resentfully and that leads to far more problems than if we’d said “no” in the first place;
10650.  Success without happiness is not success.  It’s just a well-polished turd.  It looks nice from the outside, but the successful guy knows deep down that underneath the facade is just a bunch of shit;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0212

10551.  The National Harbor is not a good place to watch the Fourth of July (Washington) D.C. fireworks;
10552.  You shouldn’t waste your life in insecure relationships.  Either trust each other 100% or leave;
10553.  If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and move on;
10554.  You won’t have a healthy relationship with someone else if you have a toxic relationship with yourself;
10555.  Stop searching for the right person and focus on becoming the right person;
10556.  Your self-love must always be stronger than your desire to be loved by others;
10557.  The people you allow into your life are contagious.  Choose wisely and cut quickly;
10558.  I can say I’ve been on a date with a TV chef;
10559.  Apparently, (Chef) Deme Vergos Kahn is friends with (Chef) José Andrés;
10560.  Arthur Kahn assisted in the representation of John Erlichman, assistant to President Nixon, in federal criminal and civil cases arising from his involvement in (the) Watergate( scandal);
10561.  I can say I’ve met someone who married 20 years her senior;
10562.  Apparently, Deme Vergos Kahn’s dating app(lication)s (specifically Bumble) are run by her 16 year-old daughter;
10563.  Ocean City, Maryland, reminds me of a bigger and cleaner Virginia Beach;
10564.  Seacrets (Seacrets.com) in Ocean City(, Maryland,) is pretty fun. . . . There’s something for everyone there;
10565.  The crab cake sandwich at “The Bar & Grill at the Inlet( Lodge)” (in Ocean City, Maryland) is (pretty) tasty;
10566.  According to our cabbie, the place to be/go on Friday nights in Ocean City(, Maryland,) is Fager’s Island (Fagers.com) and Seacrets on Saturday nights;
10567.  Apparently, walking up 3 flights of stairs is a major accomplishment for some 22 year-olds in Ocean City(, Maryland);
10568.  I can say I’ve met (and shaken hands) with the Secretary of Commerce( and the former governor of Rhode Island), Gina Raimondo. . . . I’m a little taller than she is;
10569.  The beach in Ocean City(, Maryland) has a (very) small strip of rocks/shells you have to walk over/through to get into the ocean;
10570.  Fractured Prune doughnuts (FracturedPrune.com) come out hot and fresh. . . . They’re tasty;
10571.  Kohr Bros. (KohrBros.com) has a kid size (frozen custard) that isn’t listed on the menu;
10572.  Sand (from the beach) can get caught in your intergluteal cleft/butt crack. . . . Who knew?
10573.  The Belgian chocolate soufflé cake at California Pizza Kitchen (CPK.com) is (pretty) tasty. . . . It’s better with (vanilla Haagen-Dazs) ice cream;
10574.  Denis Lawson (i.e., Wedge Antilles) is Ewan McGregor’s (i.e., Obi-Wan/Ben Kenobi) (real life) uncle;
10575.  May we stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of people that never saw us;
10576.  Everything you experience has no intrinsic meaning other than the meaning that you give to it;
10577.  We seldom admit the seductive comfort of hopelessness.  It saves us from ambiguity.  It has an answer for every question: “There’s just no point.”  Hope, on the other hand, is messy.  If it might all work out then we have things to do.  We must weather the possibility of happiness;
10578.  The longer it takes you to admit when you are wrong, the more attached you are to being perfect;
10579.  The more attached to being perfect, the more you will hate yourself;
10580.  Nobody is perfect.  We all get it wrong.  And that’s perfect;
10581.  The first step that leads to our identity in life is usually not “I know who I am,” but rather “I know who I’m not.”  Process of elimination;
10582.  Too many options can make a tyrant out of any of us so we should get rid of the excess in our lives that keep us from being more of ourselves.  When we decrease the options that don’t feed us, we, eventually, almost accidentally, have more options in front of us that do;
10583.  Knowing who we are is hard.  Eliminate who we’re not first and we’ll find ourselves where we need to be;
10584.  We cannot fully appreciate the light without the shadows.  We have to be thrown off balance to find our footing.  It’s better to jump than fall;
10585.  The future is the monster not the boogeyman under the bed.  The past is just something we’re trying to outrun tomorrow.  The monster is the future . . . the unknown . . . the boundaries not yet crossed . . . the challenge not yet met . . . the potential not yet realized . . . the dragon not yet tamed.  On a one-way collision course with no turning back, the future, the monster, is always waiting for us and always sees us coming.  We should lift our heads, look it in the eye and watch it heed;
10586.  Things can change at any minute.  And all we’ve really got are our experiences, our relationships and our beautiful, aging, ever evolving selves.  We can choose to be frustrated by that or we can choose to embrace it as our power;
10587.  Blagden Alley (in D.C.) really is an alley;
10588.  Causa/Bar Amazonia (CausaDC.com) in D.C. automatically adds a 20% gratuity/service fee to your bill/check;
10589.  Tangy lemon lime Topo Chico (hard seltzer) tastes like a Creamsicle( to me);
10590.  Calico (CalicoDC.com) in D.C. (also) automatically adds a 20% gratuity/service fee to your bill/check;
10591.  Throwing out your lower back is no joke;
10592.  Remember that once you dreamed of being where you are now;
10593.  We are not here to tolerate our differences, we are here to accept them;
10594.  We are not here to celebrate our sameness, we are here to salute our distinctions;
10595.  We are not born into equal circumstances or with equal abilities, but we should have equal opportunity;
10956.  Cool is a natural law.  If it was cool for that time then it is cool for all time.  A fad is just a branch on cool’s trunk, a fashionable fling whose 15 minutes can never abide, no matter how long s/eh trends to try.  Cool stands the test of time because cool never tries.  Cool just is;
10597.  After hurting/straining my (lower) back, I have a better appreciation for being able to get/move around;
10598.  Zach de la Rocha (the lead singer of “Rage Against the Machine”) drinks (hot) tea;
10599.  (I can say) I’ve seen “Rage Against the Machine” live( in concert);
10600.  Zach de la Rocha is intense on stage (even with a broken leg);

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0211

10501.  One of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in life is who you have children with.  Choose wisely;
10502.  When playing games with children, let them win;
10503.  You don’t have to learn everything the hard way;
10504.  One day you’ll need to be forgiven so learn to forgive others;
10505.  Instead of buying your children what you didn’t have, teach them what you didn’t know;
10506.  Never let your inner child die;
10507.  If you care too much about what other people think, you’re effectively their slave;
10508.  Be so busy improving your life that you don’t have time to criticize others;
10509.  Everyone you love will eventually die, spend your time with your loved ones; keep them close;
10510.  No one is a mind reader, voice how you feel;
10511.  Never feel bad about promoting yourself;
10512.  Hang out with people from different races, ethnicities and socio-economic classes;
10513.  Listen to understand not to respond;
10514.  You can’t pour from an empty cup.  Take care of yourself first;
10515.  Spending time alone is one of the best things you can do;
10516.  Remember that 80% of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people;
10517.  Compliment the meal when you’re the guest in someone’s home;
10518.  Show respect for everyone who works for a living regardless of how trivial their job;
10519.  The “Club 24” (Championship) Boxes at Nationals Park are nice.  The seats include food options from a high-end restaurant prepared by a chef and dedicated wait staff;
10520.  (I can say) I’ve sat in the “Club 24” (Championship) Boxes at Nationals Park;
10521.  Apparently, the “Club 24” (Championship) Boxes and the “K Street” (Championship) Boxes are the 2 most exclusive clubs at Nationals Park;
10522.  The 1924 Washington Senators won (Washington) D.C.’s first World Series championship;
10523.  The honey ham biscuits (i.e., mini, buttermilk biscuits with smoked Virginia ham) at the Lightfoot Restaurant (LightfootRestaurant.com) in Leesburg, Virginia, are tasty;
10524.  The berry salad (i.e., greens tossed with balsamic vinaigrette set with blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, spiced cashews & balsamic glaze) (with grilled shrimp) at the Lightfoot Restaurant (in Leesburg, Virginia,) is tasty too;
10525.  Strangely, life gets harder when you try to make it easy;
10526.  Exercising might be hard, but never moving makes life harder;
10527.  Uncomfortable conversations are hard, but avoiding every conflict is harder;
10528.  Mastering your craft is hard, but having no skills is harder;
10529.  Easy has a cost;
10530.  The berry Chantilly cake at Whole Foods (Market) is tasty;
10531.  Jean Louisa Kelly (the actress) (kind of) looks like Robbie;
10532.  Primus is a jam band. . . . Who knew?
10533.  Les Claypool is a self-proclaimed Rush (i.e., Canadian rock band) geek;
10534.  Les Claypool went to (high) school and is friends with Kirk Hammett (the lead guitarist of Metallica);
10535.  Les Claypool auditioned to be the bassist for Metallica;
10536.  Broccoli shrinks a lot when you roast it (in the oven);
10537.  Despite what most mainstream therapists claim, couples with “open marriages” generally rate their overall satisfaction (with both their relationship and with life in general) significantly higher than those in conventional marriages do;
10538.  Many people have sex outside their primary relationships for reasons that have nothing to do with any inadequacy in their partner or in the relationship;
10539.  Charlie (Dog) likes (roasted) peanuts . . . shocker, he loves peanut butter;
10540.  Not everyone handles grief the same way;
10541.  Many men report that they had affairs simply because opportunities arose while women, for whom opportunities are often more plentiful, tend to report a more complex confluence of motivations;
10542.  When Shirley Glass and Thomas White anonymously interviewed 300 men and women about their extramarital affairs, they found that men tended to see their affairs as more sexual while women were motivated more by emotional considerations and reported greater levels of dissatisfaction with their marriages;
10543.  I’m glad to have Rob(ert) Roebuck as a friend. . . . I should’ve seen/texted/visited him more when I had the chance;

10544.  If you want to lose weight, get Invisalign.  They’re so annoying/difficult to put in and take out and you have to brush and floss after eating that it’s just not worth snacking;

10545.  Apparently, Ajay is immune to mushrooms;

10546.  If you want to get COVID(-19), stand in line to get into a Dave Matthews Band concert (at Jiffy Lube Live in Bristow, Virginia) without wearing a mask . . . stupid;

10547.  If you’re out of milk for your cereal, coffee will work;

10548.  Post-COVID lethargy is a real thing;

10549.  Charlie (Dog) likes doughnuts (in particularly Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts);

10550.  Guac(amole) on a (ham)burger is pretty good;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0210

10451.  We can tap into the unconscious processes that help us connect with our innovative ideas and solve problems more efficiently simply by decreasing visual input;
10452.  Neuroscience researchers find that daydreamers actually score higher on creativity scales;
10453.  For best results, approach your daydreaming session with intention: You must be able to notice when you are in this state and pull yourself out at will.  This requires some practice;
10454.  Psychologists Joey Sprague and David Quadagno surveyed women from 22 to 57 years of age and found that among those under 35, 61% of the women said their primary motivation for sex was emotional rather than physical.  But among those over 35, only 38% claimed their emotional motivations were stronger than the physical hunger for contact;
10455.  At face value, such results suggest women’s motivations change with age.  Or one could also argue that this effect could simply reflect women becoming less apologetic as they mature;
10456.  Apparently, “heaven trap” (EDM music) is a thing;
10457.  EDM concerts/festivals are some of the most welcoming places.  You see all kinds of people at them;
10458.  First-time travelers to Istanbul, Bali, Gambia, Thailand or Jamaica may be surprised to see thousands of middle-aged women from Europe and the United States who flock to these places in search of no-strings sexual attention;
10459.  An estimated 80,000 women fly to Jamaica looking to “Rent a Rasta” every year;
10460.  The number of female Japanese visitors to the Thai island resort of Phuket jumped from fewer than 4,000 in 1990 to 10 times that just 4 years later outnumbering male Japanese tourists significantly;
10461.  The strongest explanation for the prevalence and intensity of the Coolidge effect among social mammals is that the male drive for sexual variety is evolution’s way of avoiding incest;
10462.  Our species evolved on a sparsely populated planet never more than a few million and probably fewer than 100,000 of us on Earth for most of our evolutionary past.  To avoid the genetic stagnation that would have dragged our ancestors into extinction long ago, males evolved a strong appetite for sexual novelty and a robust aversion to the overly familiar;
10463.  When a couple have been living together for years, when they’ve become family, this ancient anti-incest mechanism can effectively block eroticism for many men leading to confusion and hurt feelings all around;
10464.  Men’s testosterone levels recede over the years, but it’s not just the passing of time that brings these levels down: monogamy itself seems to drain away a man’s testosterone;
10465.  Married men consistently show lower levels of testosterone than single men of the same age; fathers of young children even less;
10466.  Men who are particularly responsive to infants show declines of 30% or more right after their child is born;
10467.  Married men having affairs were found to have higher testosterone levels than those who weren’t;
10468.  Most of the men having affairs have told researchers they were actually quite happy in their marriages, while only one-third of women having affairs felt that way;
10469.  Researcher, James Roney, and his colleagues found that even a brief chat with an attractive woman raised men’s testosterone levels by an average of 14%;
10470.  When these same men spent a few minutes talking with other men, their testosterone level fell by 2%;
10471.  William Master and Virginia Johnson reported that “loss of coital interest engendered by monotony in a sexual relationship is probably the most constant factor in the loss of an aging male’s interest in sexual performance with his partner;”
10472.  This loss of interest can frequently be reversed if the man has a younger lover even if the lover is not as attractive or sexually skilled as the man’s wife;
10473.  For most men and many women, sexual monogamy leads inexorably to monotony.  It’s important to understand this process has nothing to do with the attractiveness of the long-term partner or the depth and sincerity of the love felt for him or her;
10474.  As their testosterone levels decline with age, many men experience a diminishment of energy and libido, an intangible distance from the basic pleasures of life.  Most attribute this blurred distance to stress, lack of sleep or too much responsibility or they just chalk it up to the passage of time.  True enough, but some of this numbing could be due to ebbing testosterone levels;
10475.  Once the transitory thrill of an affair passes, men are left once again with the realities of what makes a relationship work over the long run: respect, admiration, convergent interests, good conversation, sense of humor and so on;
10476.  Researchers have found that men with lower levels of testosterone are more than 4 times as likely to suffer from clinical depression, fatal heart attacks and cancer when compared to other men their age with higher testosterone levels.  They are also more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia and have a far greater risk of dying prematurely from any cause (ranging from 88 to 250% higher depending on the study);
10477.  Most women’s sense of smell is significantly better than most men’s so there’s probably going to be evidence you can’t even sense, but that she’ll pick up on;
10478.  Love is an ideal thing; marriage a real thing;
10479.  A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished;
10480.  By insisting upon an ideal vision of marriage founded upon a lifetime of sexual fidelity to one person, a vision most of us eventually learn is highly unrealistic, we invite punishment upon ourselves, upon each other and upon our children;
10481.  The French are much more comfortable with the idea that their affair partner is just that an affair partner writes Pamela Druckerman in her cross-cultural look at infidelity, Lust in Translation;
10482.  Understanding that love and sex are different things, Druckerman says the French feel less need to “complain” about their marriage to legitimize the affair in the first place;”
10483.  The expectation of lifelong monogamy places an incredible strain on a marriage.  But our concept of love and marriage has as its foundation not only the expectation of monogamy, but the idea that where there’s love, monogamy should be easy and joyful;
10484.  Toe-curlingly passionate sex can be an important part of marital intimacy, but it is a grave mistake to think it’s the essence of long-term intimacy;
10485.  Thinking of marriage as an enduring romance is unrealistic: “It’s not like you want to rip your clothes off with somebody that you’re sleeping with for the thousandth time.  We should know going into it that the nature of love and sex changes from what it began is and that a great love affair doesn’t necessarily make a great marriage;
10486.  So-called polyamorous families are thought to number about ½ million in the United States, according to an article in Newsweek;
10487.  “Since Darwin,” Sarah Hrdy writes, “we have assumed that humans evolved in families where a mother relied on one male to help her rear her young in a nuclear family; yet . . . the diversity of human family arrangements . . . is better predicted by assuming that our ancestors evolved as cooperative breeders;”
10488.  It seems that the original modern American swingers were crew-cut World War II air force pilots and their wives;
10489.  Joan and Dwight explained to Gould that these warriors and their wives “shared each other as a kind of tribal bonding ritual with a tacit understanding that the two-thirds of husbands who survived would look after the widows;”
10490.  The crab cake sandwich at Café 44 (Cafe44.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria is tasty;
10491.  No one has it all figured out;
10492.  Being nice is overrated, be kind, be fair, be understanding not “nice;”
10493.  To love is to be vulnerable; let your guard down;
10494.  Good or bad, you can learn from everybody;
10495.  Embrace all of your emotions, don’t ignore them, don’t mask them, embrace them;
10496.  Traveling alone is better than with bad company;
10497.  Unlearning is just as important as learning;
10498.  Maturity is accepting you won’t get answers to the things that hurt you the most and heal anyway;
10499.  No one prepares you to watch your parents grow older;
10500.  Own up to your mistakes; do what you say you’ll do;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0209

10401.  The most effective approach to meaningful connection combines compassion with a specific type of empathy called cognitive empathy;
10402.  Compassion: The daily practice of recognizing and accepting our shared humanity so that we treat ourselves and others with loving-kindness and we take action in the face of suffering;
10403.  Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.  It’s a relationship between equals.  Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.  Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity;
10404.  Empathy is the most powerful tool of compassion.  It is an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding;
10405.  (Theresa Wiseman’s) Attributes of empathy: 1.  Perspective taking; 2.  Staying out of judgment; 3.  Recognizing emotion; 4.  Communicating our emotion; and 5.  Practicing mindfulness;
10406.  Pity is the near enemy of compassion;
10407.  The far enemy of compassion is cruelty;
10408.  On the surface, the near enemies of emotions or experiences might look and even feel like connection, but, ultimately, they drive us to be disconnected from ourselves and from each other.  Without awareness, near enemies become the practices that fuel separation rather than practices that reinforce the inextricable connection of all people;
10409.  Sympathy v. empathy: I feel sorry for you;
10410.  Discharging discomfort with blame: This feels terrible.  Who can we blame?  You?
10411.  Comparing/competing: If you think that’s bad!
10412.  Judgment: You “should” feel shame!
10413.  Advice giving/problem solving: I can fix this and I can fix you;
10414.  Empathy: You’re not alone.  I’m with you;
10415.  What does support look like right now?
10416.  Boundaries: A prerequisite for compassion and empathy;
10417.  Cultivating meaningful connection: 1.  Developing grounded confidence: Learning & improving; Near enemies: Knowing & proving; Far enemies: Protecting fragile self-worth; 2.  Practicing the courage to walk alongside; Near enemies: Controlling the path; Far enemies: Walking away; and 3.  Practicing story stewardship: Honoring story as sacred; Near enemies: Performing connection while driving disconnection; Far enemies: Not valuing story; Damaging trust & self-trust;
10418.  The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection;
10419.  What you aren’t changing, you are choosing;
10420.  Triggers are your teachers.  Let what triggers you, show you what needs healing;
10421.  Salt intensifies the sweet and sour flavors in a margarita.  It makes the sour seem brighter making the overall drink experience that much more pleasurable;
10422.  We spend far more time fixated on changing ourselves than we do on accepting ourselves;
10423.  Accountability starts with you.  It means you are responsible.  It’s not so much a way of thinking as a way of being and it starts from within;
10424.  Accountability is about being reliable.  Ask yourself, “Can people count on me to do what I say I’ll do as I said I would do it?”  You must always keep your word;
10425.  Accountability is ownership.  It’s the willingness to hold yourself to account; it means taking total ownership no matter the mess up;
10426.  Accountability is about creating clarity.  When you are accountable you clear up the gaps and voids of expectations and what you are going to be doing;
10427.  Accountability is about trustworthiness.  When you are responsible and you make a commitment, you hold yourself to a high standard where others know and can trust in you;
10428.  Accountability is a partnership.  Partnerships are about support and mutual accountability; when you are held accountable by a partner, it’s important to recognize and respect the power of their intention and respond with appreciation rather than anger;
10429.  Being accountable begins with accepting responsibility and leading from a place of action;
10430.  Choices + Behaviors + Actions = Accountability;
10431.  I am accountable means you are able to count on me: if it is to be, it’s up to me;
10432.  Great leaders who are bound by their word are liberated by their accountability;
10433.  Lead from within: You are the leader of your life.  Consider the importance of accountability and work to incorporate it in every area you influence;
10434.  Dark chocolate (flavor crème) Oreos are tasty;
10435.  Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth;
10436.  (I can say) I’ve had an oyster shooter (with Bloody Mary mix, Tabasco, Tito’s Handmade vodka & fresh lemon) at the Fish Market in (Old Town) Alexandria;
10437.  The blackberry (Arnold) Palmer at the Chart House is (really) tasty;
10438.  Remember that people: 1.  Love to their level of self-love; 2.  Communicate to their level of self-awareness; and 3.  Behave to their level of healed trauma;
10439.  Feelings are like children.  You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either;
10440.  The goals people pursue affect their long-term happiness;
10441.  People are happiest when they pursue goals that connect them to other people.  In the workplace, this is reflected in studies suggesting that when people see their work as connecting to a broader purpose and helping other people to achieve their goals, they’re more satisfied with their careers.  And satisfaction with your work generally lifts your overall sense of well-being;
10442.  You can distinguish between goals that are competitive versus cooperative.  A comparative goal is one where you want to see yourself do better and the people you compare yourself to do worse.  A cooperative goal is one where you try to lift up your family, friends or neighbors so that success means that everyone does well;
10443.  The happiest people tend to engage in a lot of cooperative goals rather than competitive ones.  This allows people to celebrate their own successes as well as the successes of the people around them;
10444.  Very few things are completely good or completely bad.  Most experiences have some positive elements and some negative ones.  A great meal at a restaurant may have started with problems finding a parking spot or a table that was a little too close to a potted plant.  Happy people tend to focus on the positives and to let the negatives of events fade into the background;
10445.  The focus on the positive elements has two benefits for well-being.  First, each event is more enjoyable in the moment because the focus is on the desirable parts of what is happening rather than the undesirable parts.  Second, the information you focus on is the information that stays in memory.  So, when you look back on the event later, you’ll remember the positive parts of it most strongly and that memory will also help to make you happy;
10446.  Over the course of your life, people will do bad things to you.  Even the people closest to you in your life will do selfish or mean things.  One thing that happy people do well is to forgive others.  The interesting thing about forgiveness is that it enables you to forget the details of what someone did that upset you in the first place.  As a result, you will not be reminded of all those negatives when you see them or think about them in the future;
10447.  The alternative to forgiveness is to hold onto the details of the bad things people have done to you in the past.  The memory of social pain does not go away as quickly as the memory of physical pain because you can regenerate feelings of anger, shame or embarrassment just from thinking through a negative interaction with someone from the past.  It’s hard to truly experience the physical pain of an injury when you think about it much later;
10448.  Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean that you will trust them completely in the future.  There are people who are mean, selfish or unreliable that you might choose not to spend time with or do business with anymore.  Still, forgiving them for what they did will help you to move past those interactions without harboring negative feelings that can drag down your mood or your satisfaction with life;
10449.  More than 50% of the surface of the brain is devoted to processing visual information;
10450.  Closing our eyes frees up the energy associated with that 50% allowing our brains much needed recovery;