5801. If before
dropping off to sleep you are assailed by worry, distress or fear, do not stay
in bed. Get up, turn on the lights, take
a few deep breaths, read from a spiritual text, meditate for a few moments in
front of a white candle, say a prayer – do anything other than staying there
lying down. You cannot defend yourself
against these onslaughts while remaining snug in your bed. If distressing feelings come back when you
return to bed, get up, turn on the lights and try something else. When you finally do feel peaceful back in
bed, repeat your loving “I ams” and drift off to sleep ready to have your ears
opened and your instructions sealed;
5802. I am
peaceful. I am content. I am love.
I am writing. I am the governing
power of the universe and I attract only to myself those who are in alignment
with my highest ideals of myself;
5803. August 26th
2017 is the 20th anniversary of the release of (the album) “Vegas”
from “The Crystal Method;”
5804. Caramel
corn rice cakes are tasty;
5805. Your
thoughts usually follow your emotions;
5806. Stories
are made up;
5807. Life is
interconnected. If you win at work, but
fail in life’s other domains, you won’t be able to maintain that success. Eventually, the bill comes due, and it’ll
cost you your relationships, your health and more;
5808. In times
of crisis, we think we need leaders who are bold, confident and
self-assured. But this is completely
wrongheaded. What we really need are
leaders who are humble and willing to listen;
5809. The
answers we get are often determined by the questions that we ask. If we ask bad questions for the situation,
we’re likely to get bad answers. But if
we ask better questions – empowering questions – we might get better answers;
5810. Seven
questions you can ask yourself when things head south: 1. What does this make possible? This helps to reorient you to look for new
possibilities in the midst of troubles; 2.
What if it’s not the end, but a new beginning? This helps to drag you out of that notion
that you’re stuck. Maybe if you look at
it from a “new beginning” point of view, you can see something you missed;
3. What if the answer is just over the
next hill? This question (and the next
two) help to lengthen your time horizon.
You may not see the solution now, but how often has that been true
before in your life? Over time, you tend
to work things out; 4. What if I need
this to prepare me for the next chapter?
Troubles often lead to changes in our lives. We change jobs, shift careers and reevaluate
things. Maybe instead of asking “Why?”
you should be asking “What should come next?” 5. What will I tell my grandchildren about
this? This question adds an additional
layer and helps to really pull you out of your “stuck” mental space. It presupposes not only that you are going to
get over this, but that you’re going to learn from it and distill lessons for
future generations; 6. What if God knows
exactly what I need? This question helps
to reorient you spiritually. It can help
to consider that, even if we don’t quite get it yet, maybe God does; and
7. What if God’s speaking to me in these
troubles and blessing me? This question
helps to focus us on the blessings that can come from going through adversity;
5811. Thirteen
surefire ways to frustrate your hardworking employees: 1. Be unresponsive. Let their e-mails languish in your inbox. Don’t return their voicemails in a timely
fashion. Let them wait for weeks; 2. Cancel meetings at the last minute. This is especially effective if they had to
travel to the meeting or had to do a lot of preparation. It’s a great way to show them that their time
doesn’t matter; 3. Yell at them in front
of their peers. This is even more
dramatic if you can do it in front of their subordinates. Nothing quite says, “I don’t have any
confidence in you,” like public ridicule.
4. Change your mind
frequently. This works best if you can
get everyone excited about moving in a new direction. Get them to invest lots of time, energy and
money, and then suddenly change direction.
Bonus points if you don’t explain your rationale and leave them
guessing; 5. Don’t state your
expectations. Be vague. Go silent.
Let them wonder. When it comes
time for their annual review, hold them accountable to specific goals that they
should have guessed. This way you can
make them feel like a failure no matter how much they accomplish; 6. Ask for things you know they don’t have. If they present a summary, say, “Where’s the
backup for this? You don’t expect me to
make a decision without the details, do you?”
If they present the details, say, “Do you have a summary? You don’t expect me to wade through all these
details, do you?” Either way, keep them
off balance; 7. Focus on superficial
things, ignore substance. Log how much
time they actually spend at their desk or in the office rather than evaluating
what they actually accomplish. Pay
attention to their style and the way they dress. These are way more important than the quality
of their work. Plus, they either have it
or don’t; 8. Micromanage. Insist that they keep you informed of every
step of the way on things you assign to them.
Second-guess their decisions.
Challenge their thinking. Question
every expense. Give no slack. They should spend more time answering your
inquiries than getting any work done; 9.
Do all of the talking. You’re the
boss, right? You got that job by being
smarter, funnier and more experienced than the next guy. Your subordinates need to shut up and listen
to you – and take notes; 10. Never
praise them. Take them for granted. You are paying them to work for you. When they do a great job, brush by it and
give them a tougher assignment. Keep
raising the bar. You don’t want them
getting a “big head;” 11. Catch them
doing something wrong. Be quick to
trumpet their mistakes. If you can do it
in public, so much the better. If
they’re not perpetually discouraged, frankly, you are not trying hard enough;
12. Remind them you are the fountain of
all wisdom. The only valid ideas are
your ideas. If you want their opinion,
you’ll give it to them. Find ways to
explain why their ideas won’t work, unless you say them in your words; and
13. Be moody. A mercurial boss keeps everyone off
balance. Sometimes, you should be
charming. Other times, be angry. But never let them know why. Keep them wondering if it’s them or something
else. You want your people asking your
assistant for a “weather report” before they meet with you. “Is Bill in a good mood today or
stormy?” This will give them just enough
hope to stay in the game, but ensure that they also stay frustrated, dreading
each time they come into contact with you;
5812. If you
don’t want to frustrate and degrade your employees, all you have to do is start
by inverting these suggestions: Be
responsive. Clearly state your
expectations. Catch them doing something
right, etc.;
5813. S/he who
needs the other person the least is in control of the relationship;
5814. Put
yourself in the position where you don’t need the other person as badly as they
need you;
5815. How do
you do that? Three suggestions: 1. Be aloof at first. Never fall in love with something you are
trying to acquire – at least not at first.
Be a little aloof. Don’t get
emotionally attached. Kick the tires;
2. Don’t get too eager. In negotiations, the first person to name a
number usually loses. So let the other
person go first and pace your responses to theirs. If they take 24 hours to respond, set your
clock for tomorrow at this time; and 3.
Give yourself options. This is
important. The more options you have,
the more you will believe you don’t need any particular offer. For example, if you want to sell a car at the
best price? Get multiple offers for
it. It will change your negotiating
posture and put you in a position of strength;
5816. 4 ways to
leverage positive expectations: 1.
Believe the best about people.
This may take a leap of faith, but it’s one that usually pays off. Don’t look for every flaw in people. Look for strengths, even hidden ones, that
you can help build up;. 2. See them as
bigger than they are. People usually
think they’re less than they are. So you
have to over-dial it just to get them to see what they are capable of. They sell themselves short. You need to see them as good, long-term
investments instead; 3. Make your
thinking visible. Spell out your
expectations when necessary. Tell them
you expect them to do the best they can.
When they fall short, you can draw them back to this vision of their
best self; and 4. Assume others will do
it better than you could. You may be
very good at some things, but you’re not great at everything. Don’t let your competence in a few areas lead
to the sort of arrogance that lets you dismiss the best efforts of others. They can do amazing things with a little
positive reinforcement;
5817. We
usually get what we expect from others, whether we communicate those
expectations directly or indirectly. If
we want to bring out the best in others, we must intentionally communicate the
kind of expectations that will put them in the frame of mind to succeed;
5818. (I know
that hurt you. )I’m sorry( for. . .
). I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?
5819. “I’m
sorry.” Empathy is the ability to put
ourselves in another person’s shoes and feel what they feel. This is something we need to develop. It takes humility. Too often, we are preoccupied with our own
feelings. Empathy is the recognition
that it’s not all about us. Other people
matter. They have feelings, too, and
those feelings are important. By saying
we are sorry – sincerely and with authentic humility – we validate them as
human beings. We are essentially saying,
“I know you are hurt and I understand.
Your feelings are valid and I am sorry that I am the cause of them. I’m not sorry because I got caught or because
you called me out. I’m sorry because of
the hurt that I caused you;”
5820. “I was
wrong.” This is the most difficult
sentence of all. Perhaps we live with
the mistaken notion that we never do anything wrong. Or perhaps we just think the other person
should “give us a pass” because somehow we deserve it. The truth is we all make mistakes. If we are not guilty of sins of commission
(i.e., deliberately doing something that offends others), we are guilty of sins
of omission (i.e., failing to do what we ought and thereby offending
others). Religion can help prime the
pump here. One of the great things about
being a Christian is being released from the need to pretend you are
perfect. We are sinners and we need
forgiveness – from God and from the people we offend;
5821. “Will you
please forgive me?” This is one of the
most powerful sentences we can ever utter.
By phrasing this as a question, we acknowledge that forgiveness is not
an entitlement. We don’t deserve
forgiveness. We are asking for their
mercy and forbearance. This also
acknowledges that it is a choice on the part of the other person. They may withhold their forgiveness. Perhaps they are not ready to make up. They may need some space. Yet, almost always the other person says, “I
forgive you.” With this simple sentence
both of you are healed;
5822. Focus on
four ingredients in any job candidate (H3S): 1. Humility: A humble person has a good sense of
self, including a realistic grip on her/his strengths and weaknesses. S/he makes other people feel smart and
confident and is teachable. S/he doesn’t
gloat over her/his wins or downplays her/his mistakes. S/he sees what needs to be done, pitches in
and is excited playing her/his part on the team; 2. Honesty: An honest person does not lie,
exaggerate or misrepresent the facts.
S/he gives you “the good, the bad and the ugly” and owns her/her
part. You can bank on her/him keeping
her/his commitments, even when it’s difficult, expensive or inconvenient to
her/him; 3. Hungry: A hungry person is
driven to exceed whatever expectations are set for her/him. Emboldened by a growth mindset, s/he’s always
reaching for more and setting higher goals.
S/he relentlessly pursues the best solution and embraces change if it
can take her/him or the company to a new level; and 4. Smart: A smart person usually scores high on
traditional IQ tests, but not always.
Some people are book-smart, but street-stupid. A smart person is a quick study. S/he can “connect the dots” without a lot of
help. S/he can think laterally and apply
what s/he knows in one area to another.
S/he knows how to make complex subjects simple. S/he asks thoughtful questions and is always
eager to learn;
5823.
Meditation reduces anxiety.
Meditation tends to reduce the inner chatter that contributes to our
anxiety. Even short periods of meditation
have delivered lasting benefits for people with anxiety disorders and would
likely benefit those of us who just suffer from regular jitters;
5824.
Meditation boosts your focus and attention. Both of these things are in short supply
these days and are in danger of fragmentation from multitasking and social
media. Fortunately, researchers have
found that “mindfulness training” likely improves “attention-related behavioral
responses” by boosting our ability to focus;
5825.
Researchers had expected to find maybe a slight uptick in gray matter in
select areas of our brains among folks who regularly meditate. Instead, they are finding “significantly
larger gray matter volumes” all over the place;
5826. After
just four days of meditation, one study found the unpleasantness and intensity
of pain were reduced by 57 and 40 percent, respectively;
5827. In 1994,
a pair of researchers, named Joseph Raffiee and Jie Feng, set out to measure
the success rate of business owners who stayed at their day jobs and started a
business on the side versus those who quit their jobs to jump straight into
full-time entrepreneurship. For fourteen
years, they followed the trajectories of five thousand American entrepreneurs
and what they discovered was surprising.
The more cautious entrepreneurs, who did not quit their jobs, were 33
percent more likely to succeed, whereas the “risk-takers” were far more likely
to fail. In other words, it doesn’t pay
to bet big;
5828. It turns
out that in the real world, the tortoise beats the hare. Slow and steady really does win the
race. Whether you’re launching a dream,
writing a book or getting into shape, most significant change starts with a
step, not a leap;
5829. Success
always begins in the mind;
5830. Frequent
small steps beat occasional big leaps every time;
5831. The first
step to launching a big dream is just that, a step, not a leap. Small changes over time lead to massive
transformation. You can do extraordinary
things when you are patiently persistent;
5832. One
reason why diversification is so critical is that it protects us from a natural
human tendency to stick with whatever we feel we know. Once a person is comfortable with the idea
that a particular approach works – or that s/he understands it well – it’s
tempting to become a one-trick pony. As
a result, many people end up investing too heavily in one specific area;
5833. It’s
almost certain that whatever asset class you’re going to put your money in,
there will come a day when you will lose 50-70%;
5834.
Individual investors can diversify by owning low-cost index funds that
invest in six “really important” asset classes: 1. U.S. stocks; 2. International stocks; 3. Emerging-market stocks; 4. Real estate investment trusts (REITs);
5. Long-term U.S. Treasuries; and
6. Treasury inflation-protected
securities (TIPS);
5835. The holy
grail of investing is to have 15 or more good – they don’t have to be great –
uncorrelated bets;
5836.
Everything comes down to owning an array of attractive assets that don’t
move in tandem;
5837. According
to Ray Dalio, by owning 15 uncorrelated investments, you can reduce your
overall risk by about 80% and you’ll increase the return-to-risk ratio by a
factor of five. So your return is five
times greater by reducing that risk;
5838. Deciding
on the right balance of stocks, bonds and alternatives is the most important
investment decision you’ll ever make.
Whatever mix you choose, make sure you diversify globally across
multiple asset classes;
5839. Never bet
your future on one country or one asset class;
5840. Use index
funds for the core of your portfolio.
For maximum diversification, you want exposure to stocks of all sizes:
large-cap, midcap, small-cap and microcap;
5841. You never
want to be in a position where you’re forced to sell your stock market
investments at the worst moment. So it
makes sense to maintain a financial cushion, if at all possible. Make sure to have an appropriate amount of
income-producing investments such as bonds, REITs, MLPs and dividend-paying
stocks. Also, diversify broadly within
these asset classes: for example, invest in government, muni and corporate
bonds;
5842. The core
of your portfolio is invested in index funds that simply match the market’s
return. But at the margins, it can make
sense to explore additional strategies that offer a reasonable chance of outperformance. For example, a wealthy investor might add a
high-risk, high-return investment in a private equity fund;
5843.
Unsuccessful investors tend to buy the thing that’s gone up and sell the
thing that’s gone down. Rebalancing
makes you do the opposite, forcing you to buy assets when they’re out of favor
and undervalued;
5844. There’s
no need to fear market corrections and bear markets. They provide the best opportunity to buy the
bargains of a lifetime so you can leapfrog to a whole new level of wealth;
5845. What
counts is not reality, but rather our beliefs about it;
5846. Beliefs
are nothing but feelings of absolute certainty governing our behavior;
5847. Beliefs
can be the most powerful force for creating good, but our beliefs can also
limit our choices and hamstring our actions severely;
5848. It’s not
enough to know what to do. You also need
to do what you know;
5849.
“Confirmation bias” is the human tendency to seek out and value
information that confirms our own preconceptions and beliefs. This tendency also leads us to avoid,
undervalue or disregard any information that conflicts with our beliefs;
5850. The
“endowment effect” places greater value on something you already own regardless
of its objective value. This makes it
much harder to part ways and buy something superior;