What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0166

8251.  It’s okay to stretch a little, but don’t stretch beyond what you can actually pay.  If you make a poor financial decision up front, you’ll end up struggling and it can compound and become a bigger problem throughout the life of your loan.  It can undo all the hard work you’ve put into the other areas of your financial life;

8252.  To make a sound decision about buying a house: 1.  Check your credit score. – The higher your score, the better the interest rate on your mortgage will be.  If your credit score is low, it might be a better decision to delay buying until you can improve your score.  Good credit translates into not only a lower total cost, but lower monthly payments; 2.  Save as much (money) as possible for a down payment. – If you can’t save enough to put 20% down, you’ll have to get Private Mortgage Insurance (“PMI”), which serves as insurance against you defaulting.  PMI typically costs between .5-1% of the mortgage plus an annual charge.  The more you put down, the less PMI you’ll have to pay.  If you haven’t been able to save at least 10% to put down, stop thinking about buying a house; 3.  Calculate the total amount of buying a new house. – Even small surprises will end up costing you a lot of money.  Ideally the total price shouldn’t be much more than 3 times your gross annual income.  You should ask your parents and other homeowners for surprise costs or just research “surprise costs of owning a house;” 4.  Get the most conservative, boring loan possible. – Get a 30-year fixed-rate loan.  You’ll pay more in interest compared to a 15-year loan, but a 30-year loan is more flexible to repay; 5.  Don’t forget to check for perks. – Many state and local governments offer benefits for first-time home buyers.  Don’t forget to check with any associations you belong to including local credit unions, alumni associations and teacher’s associations.  You may get access to special lower mortgage rates.  Even check your Costco membership.  They offer special rates for members too; and 6.  Use online services to comparison shop. – Check Zillow.com, Redfin.com and Trulia.com for home prices and information about buying a house including tax records and neighborhood reviews.  Check Insure.com for homeowner’s insurance.  And don’t forget to call your auto insurance company and ask them for a discounted rate if you give them your homeowner’s insurance business;

8253.  Myths about owning a home: 1.  Prices in real estate always go up. – Net house prices haven’t increased when you factor in inflation, taxes and other homeowner fees.  They appear to be higher because the sticker price is higher; 2.  You can use leverage to increase your money. – True, but leverage can work against you if the price goes down; 3.  I can deduct my mortgage interest from my taxes and save a lot of money. – Tax savings are great, but people forget they’re saving money they ordinarily would never have spent.  The amount you pay out owning a house is much higher than you would for any rental when you include maintenance, renovations, higher insurance costs, etc.;

8254.  Set up an automatic savings plan.  Assume you’ll spend $35,000.00 on your wedding, $20,000.00 on a care, $20,000.00 for the first 2 years of your first-born child and however much you’ll need for a typical down payment for a house in your city and then figure out how much you need to save;

8255.  You can’t have the best of everything so prioritize;

8256.  (I can say) I’ve been to a (National) League Championship Series game (with 43,975 other people);

8257.  (I can say) I’ve seen a (National) League Championship Series clinching-win;

8258.  The 2019 Washington Nationals became the 4^th team in baseball history – after the 1914 Boston Braves, the 1973 New York Mets and the 2005 Houston Astros – to go from 12 games below .500 in the summer to the World Series in the fall;

8259.  The 2019 Washington Nationals held a lead in 31 of 36 innings against the St. Louis Cardinals and became (just) the 7^th team to never trail in a best-of-seven playoff series;

8260.  The Minnesota Twins used to be the Washington Senators;

8261.  The “patatas bravas” (i.e., fried potatoes with spicy tomato sauce & aioli) at Jaleo are (pretty) tasty . . . and so is the “espinacas a la Catalana” (i.e., sautéed spinach with pine nuts, raisins & apples);

8262.  Wow, I actually do like cauliflower (specifically the “coliflor salteada con aceitunas y datiles” (i.e., sautéed cauliflower with dates & olives) at Jaleo);

8263.  Apparently, giving someone the “cold shoulder”/”silent treatment” is considered psychological abuse . . . and it’s passive-aggressive;

8264.  You don’t have to be rich to be a philanthropist just as you don’t have to be rich to invest;

8265.  Top leaders of 200 of the nation’s biggest companies were carefully studied.  Corporate leaders were exceptionally good at academic knowledge, technical skills and the ability to manage their own emotions;

8266.  Emotional intelligence contributed twice as much to their success than all other 3 factors put together;

8267.  Intelligence alone doesn’t take us too far in life unless it is backed by the ability to understand and manage our (and other people’s) emotions;

8268.  While intelligence and technical ability can ascertain if you will be a good fit for a particular industry or role, it is your ability to manage emotions that will determine how good you are at performing the role;

8269.  A study conducted on students by the Yale University Center for emotional intelligence concluded that adolescents who possess high emotional intelligence are less anxious, are seldom bogged down by depression and are less likely to resort to addictions (i.e., alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, etc.).  They are also less aggressive and less likely to display signs of becoming a bully.  Their attention span is higher; they tend to be less hyper and are known to display leadership skills.  These students also excel at academics and the ability to cope with challenges related to it;

8270.  Intellectual prowess without the ability to manage emotions won’t lead us on a path to success because at the end of the day we have to deal with people all the time;

8271.  Emotional intelligence without technical skills and IQ will not lead us in the right direction;

8272.  Emotional quotient and intelligence quotient both complement each other to ensure overall success in different spheres of an individual’s life;

8273.  No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care;

8274.  According to a study conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership, 75% of all careers go astray owing to emotional incompetency, the inability to deal with interpersonal issues, unsatisfactory leadership skills during crisis or conflicts, the inability to inspire people’s trust and failure to adapt;

8275.  Your emotional quotient is not etched in stone.  It isn’t something that can never be altered;

8276.  You don’t need to give natural childbirth to a good idea.  You can adopt!

8277.  A huge component of emotional and social intelligence is being open, agreeable and flexible;

8278.  Social intelligence is about accepting and respecting other people’s perspectives even if it is different from your own.  It is about being flexible enough to identify and incorporate the good in other people’s suggestions;

8279.  People who lack social intelligence often become increasingly anxious in a social situation which hinders their ability to connect with people;

8280.  Signs that you lack social and emotional intelligence: 1.  You often think people are being too sensitive to your humor or jokes and are overreacting; 2.  You jump into any conversation with absolute assertiveness and refuse to budge most of the time.  You are also quick to defend your stand with gusto should anyone even question it reasonably; 3.  You think social popularity and being liked in your workplace is grossly overrated.  As long as you do your work and deliver results, it shouldn’t matter whether people like you or not; 4.  You have extremely high expectations of yourself and others many times bordering on unreasonable and impractical; 5.  You get irritated and frustrated when others expect you to understand how they feel.  Your thought process is, “How am I supposed to know or understand someone else’s feelings without them talking to me about it?”; 6.  Most of the time you feel like people don’t understand your point or know where you are coming from which makes you annoyed and upset; and 7.  You always find yourself blaming other people and circumstances for your shortcomings and failures.  You seldom accept responsibility and accountability for your acts and you pass the buck elsewhere;

8281.  Self-awareness is the ability to identify or understand one’s own emotions;

8282.  Self-awareness is also being able to manage your emotions and understand their impact on other people.  It is about knowing how your mood, behavior, attitude and feelings can affect others around you and, therefore, managing your emotions to create the desired effect on others;

8283.  Self-aware people have a wonderful sense of humor, can view the positives in any situation, are self-assured about their abilities and are fully aware of the impact they have on others or how others see them;

8284.  Emotionally intelligent people can regulate, control and manage their emotions.  They seldom react on impulse or give in to involuntary responses.  Their responses are more well-thought and considered;

8285.  Emotionally intelligent people are smart enough to understand the right place and time to express those emotions in an appropriate manner;

8286.  People who are high in self-regulation are more flexible, agreeable and have the ability to adapt effectively to change.  They are wonderful at conflict management and diffusing potentially volatile situations.  The increased self-regulation also leads to a greater sense of conscientiousness.  These folks have a good grip on the impact they have on others and accept responsibility for their behavior;

8287.  Emotionally intelligent people are intrinsically motivated by elements that go beyond recognition, rewards, money, fame and other similar things.  They are driven by an inner desire to fulfill their objectives and passions.  They crave internal rewards and gain their high from doing things they love;

8288.  People who are intrinsically motivated are more action-oriented when it comes to setting and fulfilling goals.  They have a high need for accomplishment and are constantly looking for ways to improve their performance;

8289.  Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes to understand things from her/his perspective;

8290.  Empathy is about recognizing and understanding the other person’s emotional state as well as knowing how best to respond to the person’s emotions based on the available emotional information;

8291.  Being empathetic allows you to be a good leader and understand the feelings of your team or followers without much effort;

8292.  Practice observing and identifying your feelings all day.  How do certain experiences at various points in time during the day make you feel?

8293.  Labeling emotions makes it easier to identify specific emotions because even emotions like anger can have several different forms.  It can be anger out of humiliation, anger induced by a feeling of jealousy or anger owing to expectations that are not met;

8294.  Naming your emotions makes it easier to identify and manage them.  This practice also lets you take a step back from reacting impulsively and focusing on the cognitive parts of the brain for resolving issues.  It will help you understand and make sense of your feelings more effectively;

8295.  Consciously pay more attention to your emotions and link them to everyday experiences;

8296.  When you kill physical stress, the mental stress naturally melts away;

8297.  Each time you find yourself feeling stressed or tensed, take a slow, deep breath.  Focus completely on your breath and practice deep breathing.  Pay attention to how it feels to have oxygen enter your lungs.  Notice how your mouth, throat, lungs and abdomen feel when you breathe in and out.  Concentrate on the flow of air in and out of the abdominal cavity.  Taking even a few deep breaths will make you feel better and you will be in a positive frame of mind while interacting with other people;

8298.  Each time you find yourself diverting focus away from your breath, gently acknowledge the feeling without judging it and move the focus back to your breath.  Stay in the present moment in a purposeful manner.  Avoid thinking about the past or future and focus only on the breath;

8299.  Practice mindfulness (i.e., focus your attention on the present moment in a purposeful and nonjudgmental manner) in all spheres of life to calm down your spirit (especially if you happen to be hot-tempered or easily irritable);

8300.  Even though you may completely believe that your perspective or way of looking at things is right, get into the habit of considering it from different angles rather than giving in to knee-jerk responses;

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8201.  Signs of a collectible bubble: 1.  Prices rise too fast – As a general rule, if an overall asset class is jumping by over 20-50% for an extended time, you’re probably looking at a bubble, but there are exceptions; 2.  New, oddly matched buyers are entering the market – When you’re looking at baseball cards, baseball fans are the natural audience.  For art, you expect art lovers.  Wine should attract oenophiles and so on.  If a market is suddenly attracting buyers that don’t logically fit, odds are good you’re seeing speculators pouring into a bubble; and 3.  Collectors are more interested in returns than collections – We love rare, tangible assets because they have built-in value escalators, an inherent advantage you just don’t see in other sectors.  Nearly all collectibles have dwindling supplies.  As long as demand remains stable or, even better, increases, prices will go up.  Most value is driven by collectors interested in the underlying asset, the happy byproduct of mass appeal and obsession.  If, suddenly, all anyone is talking about is the financial aspect of a collectibles market, watch out.  This is the equivalent of your taxi driver recommending stocks, a sure sign that we’re entering the manic part of a bubble.  One that will likely burst soon.  Baseball cards have been collectible for decades.  The market has been ignored for years after the bubble burst.  The crazy valuations have all worked their way through the system.  You won’t see prices double overnight, but you will see a slow, steady appreciation of value;

8202.  Know that progress is progress no matter how small;

8203.  If you have to doubt something doubt your limits;

8204.  If you want to get an idea of the cost of living in another country before you travel (there), try/use Numbeo (Numbeo.com);

8205.  Basics of negotiating: 1.  Remember that nobody cares about you. – When it comes to you, your manager cares about 2 things: A) how you’re going to make her/him look better; and B) how you’re going to help the company do well; 2.  Have another job offer and use it. – When you have another job offer, your potential employers will have a newfound respect for your skills.  People like others who are in demand; 3.  Come prepared (99% of people don’t). – Don’t pick a salary out of thin air.  Visit Salary.com and PayScale.com to get a median amount for the position.  If you can, talk to people currently at the company (and if you know someone who has recently left, even better, they’ll be more willing to give you the real information) and ask what the salary range really is for the job.  And, this is important, bring a plan of how you’ll hit your goals to the negotiating session; 4.  Have a toolbox of negotiating tricks up your sleeve. – Just as in a job interview, you’ll want to have a list of things in your head that you can use to strengthen your negotiation.  Think about your strong points and figure out ways you might be able to bring them to the hiring manager’s attention.  For example, ask, “What qualities make someone do an extraordinary job?”  If they say, “The person should be very focused on metrics,” say, “That’s great that you said that we’re really on the same page.  In fact, when I was at my last company, I launched a product that used an analytical package to . . . .”; 5.  Negotiate for more than money. – Don’t forget to discuss whether or not the company offers a bonus, stock options, flexible commuting or further education.  You can also negotiate vacation and even job title.  Note: Startups don’t look very fondly on people negotiating vacations because it sets a bad tone.  But they love negotiating stock options because top performers always want more as it aligns them with company’s goals; 6.  Be cooperative not adversarial. – If you’ve gotten to the point of negotiating salary the company wants you and you want them.  Now you just need to figure out how to make it work.  Negotiation is about find a cooperative solution to creating a fair package that will work for both of you.  You should be confident not cocky and eager to find a deal that benefits you both; 7.  Smile – It’s a disarming technique to break up the tension and demonstrates that you’re a real person; 8.  Practice negotiating with multiple friends. – If you practice out loud, you’ll be amazed at how fast you improve.  Yet nobody ever does it because it feels “weird;” and 9.  If it doesn’t work, save face. – Sometimes the hiring manager won’t budge.  In that case, you need to be prepared to either walk away or take the job with a lower salary than you wanted.  If you do take the job, always give yourself an option to renegotiate down the line and get it in writing;

8206.  Always frame your negotiation requests in a way that shows how the company will benefit.  Don’t focus on the amount you’ll cost the company.  Instead, illustrate how much value you can provide the company.  If your work will help them drive an initiative that will make $1,000,000.00 for the company, point that out.  Tie your work to the company’s strategic goals and show the boss how you’ll make her/him look good.  Highlight the ways you’ll make your boss’s life easier by being the go-to person s/he can hand anything to.  And remember that your company will make much more off your work than they pay you so highlight the ways you’ll help your company hit its goals.  Your key phrase here is: “Let’s find a way to arrive at a fair number that works for both of us;”

8207.  Interview with multiple companies at once.  Be sure to let each company know when you get another job offer, but don’t reveal the exact amount of the offer.  You’re under no obligation to.  In the best case, the companies will get into a bidding war over you;

8208.  Most of the negotiation happens outside the room.  Call your contacts.  Figure out the salary amount you’d love, what you can realistically get and what you’ll settle for.  And don’t just ask for money.  Bring a strategic plan of what you want to do in the position and hand it to your hiring manager.  This alone could win you $2,000.00 to $5,000.00.  And it allows you to negotiate on the value you’re going to bring to the company not just the amount they’ll pay you;

8209.  (I can say) I’ve had a beer at (a) Taco Bell (Cantina);

8210.  Have a repertoire of your accomplishments and aptitudes at your fingertips you can include in your responses to commonly asked questions.  These should include: 1.  Stories about successes you’ve had at previous jobs that illustrate your key strengths; and 2.  Questions to ask the negotiator if the conversation gets off track (i.e., “What do you like most about this job? . . . Oh really?  That’s interesting because, when I was at my last job, I found . . . .”);

8211.  “Let’s talk about total comp” refers to your total compensation and not just salary.  Treat them each as levers: If you pull one up, you can afford to let another fall.  Use the levers strategically by conceding something you don’t really care about so you can both come to a happy agreement;

8212.  “I understand you can’t offer me what I’m looking for right now, but let’s assume I do an excellent job over the next 6 months.  Assuming my performance is just extraordinary, I’d like to talk about renegotiating then.  I think that’s fair right?”  (Get the hiring manager to agree.)  “Great.  Let’s put that in writing and we’ll be good to go;”

8213.  5 things you should never do in a negotiation: 1.  Don’t tell them your current salary. – If you’re asked, say “I’m sure we can find a number that’s fair for both of us.”  If they press you, push back: “I’m not comfortable revealing my salary so let’s move on.  What else can I answer for you?”  Note: Typically first-line recruiters will ask for this.  If they don’t budge, ask to speak to the hiring manager.  If the gatekeeper insists on knowing, tell them realizing you can negotiate later; 2.  Don’t make the first offer. – If they ask you to suggest a number, smile and say, “Now come on, that’s your job.  What’s a fair number that we can both work from?”  3.  If you’ve got another offer from a company that’s generally regarded to be mediocre, don’t reveal the company’s name. – When asked for the name, just say something general, but true like “It’s another tech company that focuses on online consumer applications.”  If you say the name of the company, the negotiator knows s/he’s got you.  S/he’ll tear down the other company and it will all be true.  S/he won’t focus on negotiating, s/he’ll just tell you how much better it will be at her/his company.  So withhold this information; 4.  Don’t ask “yes” or “no” questions. – Instead of “You offered me $50,000.00.  Can you do $55,000.00?” say, “$50,000.00 is a great number to work from.  We’re in the same ballpark, but how can we get to $55,000.00?” and 5.  Never lie. – Don’t say you have another offer when you don’t.  Don’t inflate your current salary.  Don’t promise things you can’t deliver.  You should always be truthful in negotiations;

8214.  It’s strange how many people make an effort to save on things like clothes and eating out, but when it comes to large purchases like cars make poor decisions and erase any savings they’ve accumulated along the way;

8215.  From a financial perspective, the most important factor when buying a car is how long you keep the care before you sell it;

8216.  You could get the best deal in the world, but if you sell the car after 4 years, you’ve lost money.  Instead, understand how much you can afford, pick a reliable car, maintain it well and drive it for as long as humanly possible.  That means you need to drive it for more than 10 years because it’s only once you finish the payments that the real savings start;

8217.  Knowing that there will be other expenses involved in the total expense of having a car, you want to decide how much you want to spend on the car itself.  For example, if you can afford a total monthly payment of $500.00 toward your car, you can probably afford a car that costs $200.00 to $250.00 per month (when factoring in insurance, gas, maintenance and parking);

8218.  What makes a good car: 1.  Reliability – If it’s a high priority, be willing to pay slightly more for it; 2.  A car you love – If you’ll be driving the car for a long time, pick one that you’ll enjoy driving; 3.  Resale value – To check out how your potential cars will fare, visit Kelley Blue Book (KBB.com) and calculate resale prices in 5, 7 and 10 years; 4.  Insurance – The insurance rates for a new and used car can be pretty different; 5.  Fuel efficiency – This could be an important factor in determining the value of a car over the long term; 6.  Down payment – If you don’t have much cash to put down, a used car is more attractive because the down payment is typically lower; 7.  Interest rate – The interest rate on your car loan will depend on your credit.  If you have multiple sources of good credit, your interest rate will be lower;

8219.  Don’t be afraid to walk out if the car dealer tries to change the finance terms on you at the last minute.  This is a common trick;

8220.  (Do) calculate the total cost of ownership of a car including maintenance, gas, insurance and (the) resale value;

8221.  Buy a car that will last you at least 10 years and not one that looks cool;

8222.  Don’t lease.  Leasing nearly always benefits the dealer and not you;

8223.  Don’t sell your car in less than 7 years.  The real savings come once you’ve paid off your car loan and have driven it for as long as possible.  Most people sell their cars far too early.  It’s much cheaper to maintain your car well and drive it into the ground;

8224.  Don’t assume you have to buy a used car.  Run the numbers.  Over the long term, a new car may end up saving you money if you pick the right new car, pay the right price and drive it for a long time;

8225.  Don’t stretch your budget for a car.  Set a realistic budget for your car and don’t go over it.  Be honest with yourself.  Other expenses will come up, maybe car related and maybe not, and you don’t want to end up struggling because you can’t afford your monthly car payment;

8226.  Apparently, hounds are smelly dogs;

8227.  Apparently, there are purple bell peppers;

8228.  She may say otherwise, but a Brazilian wax is really for her;

8229.  Elizabeth likes bacon-wrapped dates . . . and (egg) custard/flan;

8230.  Hiking (the Appalachian Trail) . . . check . . . in the mountains . . . (double) check . . . in the woods . . . (triple) check;

8231.  (Putting) apple on pizza works (specifically the “Our Famous Bratwurst” pizza with bratwurst, grilled onions, apples, mozzarella, fresh marinara & balsamic reduction at Blue Mountain Brewery (BlueMountainBrewery.com) in Afton, Virginia) . . . Who knew?

8232.  You must negotiate mercilessly with car dealers.  If you’re not a hardball negotiator, take someone with you who is;

8233.  If possible, buy a car at the end of the year when dealers are salivating to beat their quotas and are far more willing to negotiate;

8234.  You can order a customized report of the exact car you’re looking for from Fighting Chance (FightingChance.com).  It’ll tell you exactly how much car dealers are paying for your car including details about little-known “dealer withholdings.”  The service also provides specific tips for how to negotiate from the comfort of your own sofa;

8235.  You should buy a house only if it makes financial sense;

8236.  If you can’t afford to put at least 20% down (for a house), set a savings goal and don’t even think about buying until you reach it;

8237.  Even if you’ve got a down payment, you still need to be sure you make enough (money) to cover the monthly payments;

8238.  Chances are you’ll want to buy a nicer house than you’re currently renting, which means the monthly payment will likely be higher;

8239.  When you buy a house, you’ll owe property taxes, insurance and maintenance fees that will add hundreds a month;

8240.  Even if your mortgage payment is the same as your monthly rental, your real cost will be about 40-50% higher when you factor everything in;

8241.  Unless you’re already loaded, you need to readjust your expectations and begin with a starter house.  Your first house probably won’t have as many bedrooms as you want.  It won’t be in the most amazing location, but it will let you get started making consistent monthly payments and building equity;

8242.  When you go through a traditional real estate agent, there are large transaction fees usually 6% of the selling price.  Divide that by just a few years and it hits you a lot harder than if you had held the house for 10 or 20 years.  There are also the costs associated with moving.  And depending on how you structure your sale, you may pay a significant amount in taxes;

8243.  Buy only if you’re planning to live in the same place for 10 years or more;

8244.  Buying a house is not just a natural step that everyone has to take at some point;

8245.  You need to save for a 6-month emergency plan in case you lose your job and can’t pay your mortgage;

8246.  If your house is your biggest investment, how diversified is your portfolio?

8247.  The facts show that real estate offers a very poor return for individual investors;

8248.  Yale economist Robert Shiller found from 1915 through 2015, home prices have increased on average only .6% per year. . . . Most people forget to factor in important costs like property taxes, maintenance and the opportunity cost of not having that money in the stock market;

8249.  You should think of your house as a purchase rather than as an investment.  And, just as with any other purchase, you should buy a house and keep it for as long as possible;

8250.  Buy a house only when: 1.  You can put 20% down; 2.  Get a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage; and 3.  Your total monthly payment represents no more than 30% of your gross income;