What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0228

11351.  Getting older is automatic, getting better is not.  Growth is intentional;

11352.  Fail your way to success;

11353.  Self-doubt is the biggest killer of dreams;

11354.  Act as if your success is for certain;

11355.  If you must doubt something, doubt your limits;

11356.  Your doubts are not the product of accurate thinking, but habitual thinking;

11357.  You get to choose how you behave.  Your thinking is what it is and it’s riddled with doubt, it’s ravaged with doubt, you still get to choose how you behave;

11358.  You are the most powerful person in your life.  You have the power of choice;

11359.  You have an amazing capacity for change;

11360.  You are the solution to your future;

11361.  Sweet potatoes are (a lot) harder to cut than Russet potatoes;

11362.  Don’t make French toast in a microwave.  The egg doesn’t brown and crisp and the bread dries out and gets hard;

11363.  The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do;

11364.  Some things are worth spending money on . . . like a warm, winter jacket (i.e., Marmot, The North Face or Patagonia);

11365.  The D(ow)J(ones)I(ndustrial)A(verage) is made up of (only) 30 stocks;

11366.  I can say I saw John Carlson’s 500^th (career, regular season) assist;

11367.  Vir Das (the Indian comedian) lived in Chicago;

11368.  Vir Das (the Indian comedian) likes the song, Yellow, by Coldplay;

11369.  Lillet Blanc tastes like a syrupy Chardonnay;

11370.  Panama used to be a part of Colombia;

11371.  Don’t dip your tater tot into your bourbon/whiskey . . . just don’t do it.  It’s not good;

11372.  Don’t bother drinking your Starbucks latte after taking a bite of your stroopwafel.  The sweetness of the stroopwafel drowns out the flavor/taste of the latte;

11373.  Although it was officially founded in 1896, Newport News, Virginia, had been a city long before then.  It first showed up in print as “Newportes Newes” – with eight alternate spellings – in the Virginia Company’s 1619 records.  Newport News is named after Captain Christopher Newport, who led settlers to Jamestown in 1607.  When the colonists left Jamestown in 1610 after a period of intense starvation, they reunited with Captain Newport on the James River.  He told them supplies and reinforcements had arrived so they returned to Jamestown to await them.  From then on, the point at which they met Captain Newport, at the junction of the James River and the Chesapeake Bay, was referred to as Newport’s News.  It was eventually shortened to just Newport News;

11374.  Kecoughtan, Virginia, was settled in 1610 by the same English colonists who founded Jamestown.  It was originally home to the Kikotan Algonquin tribe and was the place where English settlers first made contact with Virginia’s Indigenous population.  While initial meetings were relatively peaceful, the English settlers soon drove away or tragically killed the Indigenous population.  By 1690, Kecoughtan was absorbed by the larger city of Hampton, Virginia, and remains a part of its municipality today;

11375.  Hampton, Virginia, found in 1610 is the oldest continuously inhabited English-speaking settlement in the United States.  It is significant because of its military history.  After the United States became an independent country, Hampton became a major military outpost due to its strategic location and abundant natural resources.  Hampton had easy access to both the Chesapeake Bay and the James River, making it a great port for shipping weapons and other supplies.  This also made it an ideal defensive location.  During the Civil War, Virginia itself was the capital of the Confederate States; however, Hampton maintained its status as a part of the Union during the entire war;

11376.  Dogs can eat potatoes as long as they are plainly cooked and offered in moderation.  While potatoes won’t kill them, they are not healthy for dogs.  Potatoes have too many carbohydrates and will lead to obesity and diabetes in dogs;

11377.  Ice cream isn’t toxic or seriously harmful to dogs; however, they’ve lost the enzyme (needed) to digest the lactose in milk.  It could lead to diarrhea or vomiting;

11378.  You may generally view the other person as someone to joke around with, as opposed to making a professional first impression on.  You don’t need to give people straight, exact answers.  People are usually far more attracted to interesting and noteworthy answers.  Unless you are giving an oral report, it’s not a stretch to say that they would always prefer something to catch their attention versus being dry and accurate;

11379.  Word of caution: be sure to actually answer someone’s question.  You can be both humorous and informative.  Make sure to occasionally check in with the other person to make sure that you aren’t going overboard with the lack of substantive content if they’re seeking it;

11380.  Remind yourself that being witty is not necessarily about entertaining other people.  If you think, “Quick, they’ve asked you a question.  Think of something funny to say about the weather or something,” then you’re anxious and that’s the furthest thing from a playful mindset.  You don’t have to impress or amuse anyone.  Instead, think about being that 5 year-old again and just amuse yourself first;

11381.  If it’s a bad situation, a witty comeback can diffuse the tension and bring emotional levels back to normal.  If it’s a good situation then a witty comeback can make it even better;

11382.  If you don’t want money to create resentment in your relationships, ask yourself, “How will I feel about this person if s/he doesn’t pay me back?”  Let that answer guide you;

11383.  Cheapest day to buy groceries: Wednesday – According to Instacart, Wednesday is the most common day for grocery stores to start their weekly specials.  New items will be on sale and in stock.  If you wait a few days, you risk missing out on sale items.  Retailers also tend to mark down perishables on Wednesday evenings – you might get a great bakery or deli deal on this day.  The store will also be less crowded as only 19% of consumers shop for groceries on Wednesdays.  Avoid grocery shopping on Saturdays when stores are busiest and more items are out of stock;

11384.  Cheapest day to buy gas: Monday – According to GasBuddy, an app that tracks gas prices, the best day to buy gas is Monday.  This comes with exceptions, but, historically, Monday gas price averages are the lowest in 17 states and Tuesday is the second-cheapest day.  Consumer demand tends to be lower at the beginning of the week so to stay competitive, gas stations lower their prices to draw people in.  However, avoid getting gas on Thursday as it is the most expensive day to purchase gas across the U.S.;

11385.  Cheapest day to go to a restaurant: Monday – According to Nasdaq, Mondays are generally the slowest days at restaurants.  They often offer significant discounts such as complimentary appetizers, drink specials and discounted entrées to draw customers in.  Restaurants likely have unsold inventory from the weekend, especially appetizers and desserts, so asking about these might score you some discounted grub.  Tuesdays and Wednesdays are also good options for dining out, while Fridays and Saturdays are the most expensive;

11386.  Cheapest day to book a flight: Sunday – Tuesday used to be when airlines released their new weekly deals making it the cheapest day to book a flight.  However, there is no set schedule when airlines release deals and they don’t usually match their competitors’ prices either.  According to experts, Sunday is generally the cheapest day to book a flight saving you around 6% on domestic and 13% on international flights;

11387.  Cheapest day to buy a car: Monday or Tuesday – Heading to the car dealership when the crowds are low gives you more inventory and less competition resulting in lower prices.  Mondays and Tuesdays are the best time to purchase a new car.  Go during the morning for even better luck.  As Investopedia points out, you’ll likely be one of the only customers in the dealership because almost everyone else will be at work.  This gives you more time to test drive, ask questions and negotiate the price.  It shouldn’t be a surprise that Saturday is the worst day to go car shopping.  Many people have the day off so car dealerships are at their busiest, which could drive higher prices;

11388.  Cheapest day to see a movie: Tuesday – The average movie theater ticket price in the U.S. is around $10.50, but on Tuesdays, Cinemark and AMC, the largest movie theater chains in the country, offer ticket discounts at around 50% along with other deals such as popcorn and drink combos.  Downloading a free rewards program app can earn you even more discounts on Tuesdays and points toward tickets and snacks;

11389.  Cheapest day to go shopping: Thursday – Head to the mall on Thursday evenings for early access to weekend specials and take advantage of recently marked down inventory that will soon leave the store.  According to Investopedia, most retailers prepare for the weekend on Thursdays so the stock will be replenished giving you the most options without fighting the weekend crowds;

11390.  Cheapest day to book a hotel: Friday – Like airfare, hotel prices fluctuate dramatically based on consumer demand and each brand follows its own discount schedule.  However, according to data collected by Skyscanner, booking a domestic hotel is about 2% cheaper on Fridays, which might sound like pennies, but it adds up for long trips.  As for international hotels, try to book on a Thursday when prices are about 6% cheaper;

11391.  Casa Tequila Bar & Grill (CasaTequilaRestaurant.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria has (a) $11.99 fajitas (special) on Thursdays;

11392.  Apparently, Rod Langway, the Washington Capitals’ “Secretary of Defense,” hangs out/has a beer at Clyde’s (of Gallery Place) before (Washington) Capitals games;

11393.  The Cubano (i.e., roasted mojo pork, Virginia ham, Swiss cheese, fried pickles & dijonnaise on toasted Vienna bread) at Clyde’s (of Gallery Place) is (pretty) tasty;

11394.  The space you create for others can often be the very thing that draws them closer;

11395.  Love; it’s our essence, the very core of what it means to be human.  It’s not a “you have it or you don’t.”  The capacity to love is already there inside of you.  It’s not something you do; it’s simply who you are;

11396.  Love is already there, waiting to be a balm to a weary world . . . waiting to heal, bless, renew and restore;

11397.  Family love, romantic love, the love of an old friendship – it’s not only in our nature to love, it’s our evolutionary advantage.  It’s also our highest calling as human beings to love another person fully and completely;

11398.  Relationships are our biggest opportunity for spiritual growth.  We all come to relationships with different wiring, conditioning, cultures, belief systems, biochemistry and a blueprints for what love looks like.  People think relationships are about selecting the right person, when they are actually about the part of yourself you select to bring to the relationship every single day;

11399.  The state of any relationship is the state you bring to it.  We all have a choice in the state we bring to our relationships.  While playing with your kids, picking up the phone for a friend in need, collaborating with colleagues at work or lying next to your partner in bed at night, there is a choice in what part of yourself you bring to the table;

11400.  There are many different parts of ourselves to offer.  Are you selecting the critical one?  The complainer?  The playful one?  The sensual one?  The problem solver?

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0227

11301.  Judah Akers (the lead singer of “Judah & the Lion”) is (pretty) ripped;

11302.  Apparently, Judah Akers (the lead singer of “Judah & the Lion”) likes to go into the crowd( and sing);

11303.  Apparently, Bear Rinehart (the lead singer of NEEDTOBREATHE) also likes to go into the crowd( and sing);

11304.  Why do you have to justify any prosperity that may flow into your life by limiting it to the kind that comes from “hard work?”  If you want freedom, choice and abundance in your life, does it really serve you to believe that the path to that has to be one of struggle, hard work and sacrifice?  If your belief about the attributes of the path is at odds with the attributes of the destination then the destination will always remain just out of reach for you.  Here’s a little-known truth: the path and the destination are one and the same.  And the fastest way to get to a life of freedom, choice and abundance is to believe that those things are available to you now and always.  If you have a deeply held feeling that you are undeserving of money or if you’re not convinced that it can come easily to you, this will be reflected in your outer circumstances now and always.  On the flip side, if you truly believe at a deep, internal level in your own deservingness of wealth then money has permission to flow into your life easily now and always.  The subconscious mind always prevails in the end.  It also prevails at every stage along the way;

11305.  Sometimes we label frustration and blockage with respect to attaining our conscious goals as “failure,” but you can come to see this kind of frustration as a friend.  Why?  Because it’s a key indicator that shows you you have a subconscious belief, which is out of alignment with a conscious goal.  It shows you where your blocks are;

11306.  We can only change when we admit reality;

11307.  It’s (pretty) easy to make a pecan pie.  The hardest part is the crust;

11308.  Just because you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain from his/her actions in the future;

11309.  Apparently, “The Machine” (i.e., Bert Kreischer) is friends with Snoop Dogg;

11310.  Apparently, Snoop Dogg gave Bert (Kreischer) parenting advice when his daughter, Ila, smoked his marijuana/weed, when she was 15;

11311.  Bert Kreischer said he’s been in a shower with Snoop Dogg;

11312.  When arguing/fighting, Lucy Rowett, a certified sex and relationships coach, says that it’s always best to stay with “I” statements, rather than “You” statements.  This means avoiding statements like “You always/You never” and instead saying, “I feel like you don’t do X;”

11313.  Constructive fighting is taking responsibility for your opinions and feelings and not blaming the other person, but making more of a statement for yourself: “When you don’t wash the dishes, I feel hurt because I enjoy a clean kitchen.  It is important for me to share tasks in order to feel respected.  If I cook, I would like you to wash the dishes.”  Compared to: “You haven’t done the dishes yet again, you’re useless.”  Basically, the blame game just makes us defensive and that is not productive;

11314.  When having an argument, it comes down to priorities.  Constructive fighting is about problem solving and sharing feelings, not making the other person feel like shit about themselves.  Real intimacy isn’t the absence of conflict; it’s the recognition of conflict and the willingness to address it as a team when it arises.  It is important to address the ongoing issues in the relationship, but focus on resolving the problem instead of proving your partner wrong;

11315.  Even in the midst of a heated fight, you need to remind yourself that this is a person you love and respect and work to find the grain of truth (there is always one) in what s/he is saying;

11316.  Once you’re finished with the blowout, it’s important to then find a post-combat, neutral place.  You should take some time, regroup and calm down before you attempt to reconnect.  Next, both parties need to take responsibility for their actions and be willing to apologize.  Apologize properly if you raised your voice and said something hurtful and then start the conversation again in a calmer state.  This is a great time for physical affection – in whatever form works for you.  Hugs, kisses, cuddles, etc. all help to get the oxytocin flowing and recreate intimate connection with those we love.  Then, you can choose what’s next together – a walk, a movie, time alone, sex.  There is no right or wrong – whatever works for the both of you, individually and as a couple;

11317.  The best way to safeguard for future conflicts is to first set “absolute limits.”  You make an agreement with each other when you’re both connected of what is absolutely off-limits when you are fighting, such as hurling anything at your partner that you know will hurt them or hit a pain point, because this can cause real damage to your relationship and you may not be able to rebuild trust;

11318.  4 unhealthy fight red flags: 1.  Criticism – It’s perfectly fine to tell your partner if something they did upset you, but don’t point the finger (of blame) and try to tear them down.  Instead, focus on the impact their behaviors or thoughts have on you instead; 2.  Defensiveness – If you’re on the opposite side of this and you’re receiving feedback, don’t jump on the defense straight away as it encourages more conflicts.  Instead, take a deep breath, try to understand her/his point of view and invite her/him for brainstorming to resolve the issue together; 3.  Contempt – Contempt arises when you genuinely believe that you are superior to your partner.  You might be better at some things than your partner, but s/he has her/his strengths too.  If you have contempt for your partner, this builds resentment over time and this is very toxic for a relationship; and 4.  Stonewalling – If your partner does something that pisses you off, don’t shut down or blow her/him off.  These kinds of counterproductive reactions only fuel anger and resentment.  If it is not the right time for you to have an argument, just tell your partner that you’re not ready for it and that you commit to address the issues later, when it’s more convenient;

11319.  At the end of the day, everyone fights.  We just need to have the emotional maturity to understand why we’re fighting and to be able to apologize and take responsibility where it’s needed.  We all want beautiful, healthy and happy relationships and they start with taking steps to engage in conflict in a positive way;

11320.  Emotion isn’t changed by logic; it’s changed by action;

11321.  I can say I was at Matt Duchene’s 1,000^th (career, regular season) game and Evgeny Kuznetsov’s 700^th (career, regular season) game;

11322.  I can say I saw Dylan Strome’s 100^th (career, regular season) goal and Alexander Ovechkin’s 1,500^th (career, regular season) point;

11323.  Alexander Ovechkin is the 16^th player in NHL history to score 1,500 (regular season) points;

11324.  You can do anything you want; you just might not be able to do it on the timeline you want.  It may happen faster than expected and it may take longer than expected;

11325.  The number 1 rule in likeability is to make people feel that you are like them.  Regardless of skin color, religious, ethnic and other differences, we prefer people who are similar to us at some level;

11326.  There are 4 components to fallback stories: 1.  The bridging sentence; 2.  The story itself; 3.  Your opinion of the story; and 4.  Asking for the other person’s opinion in a few different ways;

11327.  The first component is the bridging sentence and while it is short, it provides a simple, plausible transition from whatever the previous topic was into your fallback story;

11328.  “You know what I heard recently?” is a fairly flexible option, while others you can use include “Want to know something interesting that happened recently?” and “You won’t believe what happened the other day.”  All 3 of these evoke some curiosity, giving you the perfect segue into your story;

11329.  The second component is the actual story itself.  Now, notice that it’s not long and the story details don’t even matter that much here;

11330.  Introduce the premise, try to focus on the 1 or 2 primary emotions that you want to evoke and move on from there;

11331.  If you tell the story right, the reaction isn’t about the story itself, it’s about the questions it poses (and that you pose);

11332.  “What is the primary emotion and point of the story you are trying to tell?” and distill that into 1 sentence.  If you can’t, your stories are probably rambling messes that make people scream internally;

11333.  The third component is your opinion (as the speaker) on the matter.  For most of these fallback stories, you want to provide a positive opinion; otherwise people may not feel comfortable opening up and sharing if they happen to disagree with you;

11334.  Just share how you feel about it and try to place yourself in the context.  This component is key to opening the other person up because you’ve shared first and made yourself vulnerable.  The other person will feel safer after you’ve disclosed your position first; that’s just a facet of human psychology;

11335.  The fourth and final component seems like a series of inane questions, but there is logic to the chaos.  When you ask someone to generally comment on a situation, most people have a tough time with this request because it is so open-ended and broad;

11336.  Fallback stories are best when concluded with a series of questions;

11337.  When you are thinking of what fallback stories to put up your sleeve, interpersonal situations tend to work for that reason.  Other prompts that make good fallback stories include asking people what they would do in certain hypothetical situations and asking for opinions on moral dilemmas (as long as they aren’t dark and depressing);

11338.  One of the best ways to break out of interview mode is to engage in role play.  Taking on a character, leaving yourself behind and engaging in the ultimate type of conversational play;

11339.  “Archer Oh” reminds me of The Smiths/Morrissey;

11340.  Dogstar is (actually) decent;

11341.  John Wick/Keanu Reeves/Neo is a decent bass player;

11342.  Apparently, Robert Mailhouse (the drummer for Dogstar) grew up in the (Washington,) D.C. area;

11343.  Apparently, John Wick/Keanu Reeves/Neo grew up in Toronto(, Canada);

11344.  John Wick/Keanu Reeves/Neo seems to be enjoying himself playing bass for Dogstar;

11345.  Whitlow’s DC (Whitlows.com) automatically adds a gratuity to your bill;

11346.  Role playing: 1.  Make a “judgement” statement about someone; 2.  Give them a label based on the statement that you made; and 3.  Start playing the roles;

11347.  All of conversation is an opportunity for playful interaction.  It just takes a shift in mindset to see that and the world will open up;

11348.  Breaking the 4^th wall is a simple, yet effective move to make any conversation more interesting.  Often used in movies, this technique essentially involves commenting about the conversation you’re having in some positive way.  This is generally something that both parties are thinking, but has gone unacknowledged;

11349.  The “Us Against the World” technique entails forming an in-group with the person you’re talking to based on some common experience or emotion that both of you share;

11350.  If a conversation seems to be dying out or droning along, you might want to have some fallback stories to reinvigorate your interaction;