What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0116

5751.  To get to a true sense of wonder, we have to let go of expectation;

5752.  To get to peace, we have to let go of control;

5753.  To receive the gifts our heart and soul truly desire, we have to let go of what we “think” we want;

5754.  In order to ascend to the next level of knowledge, we have to let go of what we already know;

5755.  As we ascend to greater levels of mastery, our humility and awe with respect to the power of the universe also grows.  More and more, it is revealed to us how little we actually “know” and how little our preconceived ideas really serve us;

5756.  July 21^st is Michael Fitzgerald’s (the lead singer of “Fitz and The Tantrums”) birthday;

5757.  Apparently, Ryan Tedder (the lead singer of “OneRepublic”) has a lot of relatives (living) in Virginia (i.e., Roanoke, Hopewell, Richmond, etc.);

5758.  The past is just a story we tell ourselves;

5759.  Everyone has problems.  The only people, who don’t have problems, are in cemeteries;

5760.  Problems are a sign of life;

5761.  Tolerance of intolerance is cowardice;

5762.  “The Chainsmokers” aren’t very good live;

5763.  Even the most accomplished and successful people have problems. . . . They get their hearts broken (too). . . . At the end of the day, we’re all human;

5764.  “Tritonal” is pretty good;

5765.  Apparently, if you have a TAM (i.e., Techniques of Alcohol Management) card, you can get into (Las) Vegas clubs for free Sunday through Wednesday;

5766.  Apparently, I have a loving energy;

5767.  The person who takes a job in order to live – that is to say, for the money and not for purpose or passion, has turned himself into a slave;

5768.  Don’t make out for more than three seconds at the club and, at most, only two make outs.  (You) don’t (want to) release all of the sexual tension;

5769.  The best lap dance I’ve ever had (by far) was from a redhead, named Blaze (stage name, “Chili”) (from Boise, Idaho) at Sapphire (SapphireLasVegas.com) in (Las) Vegas;

5770.  Apparently, you’re supposed to tip 25% for lap dances;

5771.  Sapphire charges $6.00 for a credit card payment;

5772.  Irish girls expect you to buy them drinks when you talk to them.  I’m guessing it’s their drinking culture;

5773.  It’s (a lot) cheaper to get club tickets in advance (in Vegas) than (it is) at the door;

5774.  Robin Schulz is pretty good (too);

5775.  Owen Cook (i.e., Tyler Durden) is (a lot more) stockier than I thought;

5776.  A woman farting in bed is not attractive/sexy;

5777.  Apparently, Jeremy Long (i.e., the porn actor) lives in (Las) Vegas;

5778.  Some girls like to be bitten on the neck;

5779.  Some girls like anal;

5780.  You must be 21 to serve alcohol in a restaurant, bar or casino in Nevada;

5781.  Nevada puts no time restrictions on serving alcohol.  It’s typically sold all day (long);

5782.  Where do you find tall, slim, swimsuit model looking blondes in (Las) Vegas?  The answer is: Working the TAM training center (front) desk on Saturday mornings;

5783.  A key fact to understand about the mind is that whatever story you decide to pick, your mind will make you believe that it’s true.  It’s how the mind works that’s making you feel that way, not what’s actually happening.  We all have this thing called confirmation bias which dictates that however we want to look at the world our brain will make us believe that we are seeing the truth.  Our mind will actively filter out information that disagrees with our beliefs and our story;

5784.  Whatever story you told yourself about the event is going to dictate your emotions;

5785.  Emotions are designed to evoke motion.  They move us and motivate us and your mind uses them as rapid response fuel to do things;

5786.  Shamans can be attractive.  Who knew?

5787.  Jordana is rather attractive;

5788.  “Breathe, feel, heal;”

5789.  “Show me what I’m too afraid to see;”

5790.  Ayahuasca is ten times as potent as LSD;

5791.  Ayahuasca can change your life;

5792.  André and Jordana are really good, loving people;

5793.  Eating a frozen grape has a similar feel to eating a Popsicle;

5794.  Ayahuasca won’t work if your mind won’t let go;

5795.  Jordana has soft hands;

5796.  Ayahuasca ceremonies can be a shit show . . . literally;

5797.  Thai (yoga) massage is amazing.  I can’t remember the last time I felt so loose/relaxed;

5798.  Old people have (verbal) fights too;

5799.  Don’t confuse fashion with style and sex with love;
5800.  As you lie in bed preparing for your nightly sleep, remember that the last thought you have in your mind can last up to four hours in your subconscious mind.  That’s four hours of programming from just one moment of contemplation prior to going into your unconscious state.  Create a reminder like a prayer or mantra to place by your bed.  Write these words and read them as you get comfortable: I am going to use these moments to review what I intend to manifest into my life.  Keep that sign there to remind you how to spend your pre-sleep moments nightly;

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5701.  Depending on the people you’re around, depending on the social hierarchy and the status of all the people, you may want to be very quiet and just listen or you may want to be very up-tempo and try and create energy.  Match and follow those around you and find the zone of “just right;”

5702.  Thinking that you can get people to communicate with you without going to them first is like going to France and expecting everyone in France to speak English;

5703.  If you take five minutes before you meet someone to really think about what they value, how they communicate and how you can serve them, everything will change because you’re actually putting in thought and work into how you’re communicating rather than thinking that because you can speak you’re somehow a master communicator;

5704.  When you have a quick trigger for stress, you reduce the quality of your life and everything in it;

5705.  It doesn’t matter how good things are going externally if your emotional home is fragmented and stressed;

5706.  Every single emotion that you have in your life is a choice.  Once you’re aware of an emotion, you’re officially holding on to it;

5707.  Once you’re aware of an emotion, you are in complete control of your emotions at any given moment of your day.  You may not be in control of how they trigger, but once you are feeling an emotion and you’re aware of it.  It is in your power to change;

5708.  Meaning and events only have the significance that you ascribe to them;

5709.  Your emotions are the quality of your life and if anyone in the world can affect them in a negative way then you are not in control of your life and you are going to live a stressful experience;

5710.  You’re not getting stressed because of what’s happening in the world, at a deeper level, you’re getting stressed because you’re not in control.  All you need to do is to take ownership of your emotions and, in doing so, you can set yourself free;

5711.  Without leverage, you will remain stuck because you’re already leveraged in your current position.  You must have reasons, whether you’re aware of them or not, to continue doing your current behavior or it would have changed already.  Until you have a reason more powerful than what’s keeping you here, you’re going to stay exactly where you are;

5712.  There is no change without action and action only comes from a reason to do it;

5713.  Stop focusing on the how.  There is an unlimited amount of how and a how that works for you may not work for someone else.  Instead, focus on the why;

5714.  Leverage gives you the permission you need to keep trying all the different “hows” with everything you’ve got until you find a way through.  Commitment is building a total and ruthless focus on something that will allow you to plug the endless amount of answers that you could use into your life and actually start the experiment to find which one of them is going to work the most effective way;

5715.  Mastering leverage is about understanding that the human brain at all times is craving pleasure and avoiding pain.  Everything that you do in your life is at some level avoiding pain and about seeking pleasure;

5716.  The reason that you haven’t changed is that your brain thinks it’s more painful to change than it is to stay where you are;

5717.  Leverage is finding a reason to create change in your life where staying where you are, your current model of the world, your current reality and your current habits are more painful than changing;

5718.  A way to create leverage is to show your mind the real consequences of your actions if you fail to make a change;

5719.  Anything that you find important and care about you can tie to leverage to make change;

5720.  When I’m old and gray, what will I regret more?  Going after my dreams or settling for what I already have?

5721.  The key area for growth is recognizing that it doesn’t have to be certain.  You don’t have to have the perfect answer.  It just has to be good enough;

5722.  If you’re scared of failure or the rejection you may encounter from trying something new, acknowledge it.  Get comfortable with that fear.  We’re all truly fearful of failing at things that are important to us.  But you need to give yourself permission to feel that fear and go for it;

5723.  If you just feel the fear and run away then you’re never going to move forward;

5724.  Most of the time, it’s the expectations that we’ve set for ourselves that keep us locked down on a specific way we think we should be living our lives.  We’re afraid to make changes (that we know deep down in our hearts that we need to change) because we are looking for certainty that our changes will be the “right” ones;

5725.  You’ll never be sure about the outcomes of anything unless you actually take the actions to try and experience it for yourself;

5726.  The easiest way to get you to do anything is to create some fear or pain for you to run away from;

5727.  Respect is how to treat everyone not just those you want to impress;

5728.  It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love.  This is how the whole scheme of things works.  All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get;

5729.  It’s not in chasing happiness that we find it, but by practicing gratitude and compassion, which makes us feel deeply connected and fulfilled, which is what really makes us happy;

5730.  While empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes – to understand their situation and share their feelings – compassion is the concern and pity for their plight.  It’s the ability to feel their pain and to want to soothe it – just as you would want to soothe that pain if it were your own;

5731.  If we are compassionate towards others, it can help us to have a greater appreciation and gratitude for our own blessings in life.  For instance, when we empathize with someone who is sick, it helps us to appreciate the great blessing of our own health.  And if we have a strong sense of appreciation and gratitude in our own life, it can, in turn, help us to have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion towards others because a strong gratitude practice puts us in a mental position of resiliency that can fortify our ability to empathize;

5732.  Because of the way the brain works, the quickest way to greater happiness is not by chasing happiness itself.  Instead, it’s by cultivating and actively practicing gratitude and compassion in our lives;

5733.  In today’s world, there are many, who are willing to die for their religion, but no one is willing to live according to their religion’s principles;

5734.  It’s not in constantly chasing the things that we think we want that leads to a sense of “enoughness.”  It is rather the practice of gratitude for what we already have that makes our life feel full;

5735.  It’s not seeking love and acceptance from others that makes us feel valued (and validated).  Instead, it is instead practicing empathy and compassion for others that makes us feel truly connected;

5736.  Everything is temporary.  Your good times are temporary and your bad times are temporary.  So when you’re up, enjoy it, bask in it and be grateful for it.  And when you’re down, know you will get through it.  Know that it’s not the end and that it’s just a rough patch.  Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and surprises;

5737.  It’s about the journey not the destination.  There is a lesson in everything.  Recognizing the full worth of your hardships and your blunders is key to appreciating the journey;

5738.  More often than not, we tend to worry about what’s to come or dwell on something that’s already happened.  While it’s crucial to care and consider your future, be careful not to let it hinder your present.  Moments turn into memories.  Enjoy the moment while you have it;

5739.  Worrying isn’t productive.  Living in the past is equally unproductive;

5740.  Your work is a considerably large aspect in your life that you dedicate yourself to.  If you aren’t happy in your career, that unhappiness will seep into other aspects of your life.  And while nothing is perfect, it’s important to work on yourself and position yourself to reach the goals and satisfactions you desire;

5741.  Invest in yourself.  This goes for your non-work life too.  What habits and hobbies do you want to stop?  Which ones do you want to develop?  It’s important to be conscious of the type of people and activities you surround yourself with.  Information is like nutrients to your brain, be aware of what you are feeding yourself;

5742.  Success isn’t one triumphant moment.  Success is a series of moments (and choices) leading up to bigger moments;

5743.  You are the only person who can get in the way of living every day doing what you love;

5744.  What’s money?  A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do;

5745.  The happiest people tend to be the ones who’ve worked the most on themselves.  Being happy takes a lot of work.  It’s just as much work, if not more, to be unhappy.  So choose wisely;

5746.  Being happy means at some point you decided to take control of your life.  It means you decided to not be a victim and to put that energy back into yourself.  Sometimes it’s hard, but you have to pull yourself up and push yourself forward;

5747.  Your lifetime is a series of developments and personal growth;

5748.  One of the worst things you can do for self-development is comparing yourself to other people.  It’s easy to get caught up in jealousy and wanting what other people have.  Especially with the way we interact with social media.  You have to remember that people tend to show only the best parts of their lives on those platforms.  It’s not fair to yourself when you see that and think, “I want to do that” or “I want to look like that.”  Not only does that distract you from being appreciative of what you have in our own life, it doesn’t provide any productive input to yourself.  Most often, your perception of someone’s life is a fallacy.  And even if it isn’t, focus on yourself.  It’s your journey and your path that you should be concerned with;

5749.  Being happy takes practice.  Whether it’s you learning to let go of your ego or forming more self-loving habits, it takes practice;

5750.  You only have one life, work as hard as you can to make it your best life;

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5651.  We accept the love we think we deserve;

5652.  We can’t choose where we come from, but we can choose where we go from there;

5653.  Your goal should not be to be better than anyone else, your goal should be to be better than you used to be;

5654.  Even religious girls like sex;

5655.  What’s so amazing about being right?  Is it really the greatest feeling in the world?  Would you really rather be right than be connected and loving with the people around you?  Would you rather be right than have someone in tears thanking you for how much you changed their life?  Would you really rather be right than do something for someone else that lights them up?  You wouldn’t;

5656.  If you’re focusing on being right, you’re not learning and you’re not connecting.  So come from the heart and not from the head, commit to letting this go and all will change in a matter of weeks;

5657.  If we risk nothing, we risk everything;

5658.  People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.  You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.  Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?  You’d distance yourself and you should do the same with complainers.  A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem.  They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction;

5659.  When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness;

5660.  When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.

5661.  While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt.  That way, no matter what (toxic) people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within;

5662.  Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain, you’re never as good or bad as they say you are;

5663.  Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state.  When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress.  When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress;

5664.  Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget.  Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on.  It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance;

5665.  There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (i.e., the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it.  Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating.  It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of.  You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs;

5666.  Drinking apple cider vinegar (i.e., one capful in a glass of water) will whiten your teeth;

5667.  Drinking apple cider vinegar will (also) get rid of bad breath;

5568.  “Treacle” is the British term for molasses;

5669.  Regardless of how challenging something is, it’s always our reaction to it that will dictate how much it is going to impact our lives.  You decide how much and for how long, getting cut off on the highway is going to piss you off and you decide how much someone’s poor opinion of you is going to make you shell up in insecurity.  Let your natural reactions happen, but then consciously choose how long you want to let them impact everything else;

5670.  You should always have enough money for what matters;

5671.  People are going to hate you no matter what you do.  You can try and people please your entire life, but no matter what, some people are always going to dislike you.  So rather than wasting your time trying to match what you think is the most acceptable, spend that time accepting who you are;

5672.  To unjustly direct blame towards a circumstance or other person may seem relieving, but in the long term it takes its toll.  The less you take responsibility for your actions and decision making, the weaker you become mentally.  Taking responsibility may come with some immediate repercussions, but, over time, it builds a life founded on honesty and it strengthens your ability to tackle challenges when they arise;

5673.  People don’t think of you as much as you think they do.  People are too concerned with themselves to give you as much as attention as you think they are;

5674.  Not even the perfect relationship is going to complete you.  True happiness comes from within and can never be filled in by another.  Relationships are an extension of our happiness and not the basis of it, so focus on strengthening the one with yourself and all of the others will follow;

5675.  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel;

5676.  Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right;

5677.  Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence;

5678.  If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.  If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough;

5679.  Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent;

5680.  To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart;

5681.  Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears;

5682.  Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value;

5683.  You’re not a product of your circumstances.  You’re a product of your decisions;

5684.  The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any;

5685.  A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new;

5686.  When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us;

5687.  The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be;

5688.  The ideal work-to-break ratio is 52 minutes of work, followed by 17 minutes of rest.  People who maintained this schedule had a unique level of focus in their work.  For roughly an hour at a time, they were 100% dedicated to the task they needed to accomplish.  They didn’t check Facebook “real quick” or get distracted by e-mails.  When they felt fatigue (again, after about an hour), they took short breaks, during which they completely separated themselves from their work.  This helped them to dive back in refreshed for another productive hour of work;

5689.  The brain naturally functions in spurts of high energy (i.e., roughly an hour) followed by spurts of low energy (i.e., 15-20 minutes);

5690.  The breaks we take aren’t real breaks (i.e., checking your e-mail and watching YouTube doesn’t recharge you the same way as taking a walk does);

5691.  Breaks such as walking, reading and chatting are the most effective forms of recharging because they take you away from your work;

5692.  It’s far more productive to rest for short periods than it is to keep on working when you’re tired and distracted;

5693.  The next time painful or stressful feelings threaten to overwhelm you, here is what you do: Get something to write with.  Get something to write on.  Write down a word that describes the emotion you’re experiencing.  It doesn’t have to be comprehensive.  Just a word or two will do.  Affect labeling, the act of naming one’s emotional state, helps to blunt the immediate impact of negative feelings and start the process of climbing back down from stress;

5694.  Yes, it’s a risk to switch careers with a mortgage and debt and two kids heading into college.  But which is worse: To take the risk for greatness or to stay in the same job where you know you’re miserable and in a few years you’ll still be miserable and now older to boot?  The first situation risks failure, but what so many people don’t realize is that the second situation guarantees it;

5695.  The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation;

5696.  Discovering what adds meaning to your life will very often add meaning to others’ lives as well.  And the money will follow;

5697.  Traits to embrace to live a fuller and more deeply passionate life include: 1.  An appreciation for beauty; 2.  Sense of purpose; 3.  Resistance to enculturation; 4.  Welcoming the unknown; 5.  High enthusiasm; 6.  Inner-directedness; 7.  Detachment from outcome; 8.  Independence of the good opinion of others; and 9.  An absence of a compelling need to exert control over others;

5698.  Every single person you meet your entire life has a particular window through which you need to communicate with them if you want to communicate with them.  Every single person you meet will have a different sized window that will be constantly changing.  Some people’s window is the size of a postage stamp.  You must communicate with them following their rules, their language and their words or you’re not going to have any real level of communication with them.  Other people’s windows are so big, they’re basically the size of the known universe.  You can communicate with them in any way you want and they will do their absolute best to understand you, respect you, be open to you and generally be a delight to speak to;

5699.  All great communicators have one thing in common.  They are obsessed with finding the boundaries of the other person’s window so they can communicate with the person.  They do not waste time moaning that people are not meeting their window;

5700.  It’s critical to understand that each and every person you meet needs a different language set from you for them to see you as part of the same tribe.  And considering we are all humans, we are all part of the same tribe.  Everyone on the planet has many different sides to their personality and we should aim to create the safest place that we can for communication with other people.  That means making sure that we show people the side of our personality that they can connect with, that they can understand and that they can appreciate;