Sunday, August 20, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0115

5701.  Depending on the people you’re around, depending on the social hierarchy and the status of all the people, you may want to be very quiet and just listen or you may want to be very up-tempo and try and create energy.  Match and follow those around you and find the zone of “just right;”
5702.  Thinking that you can get people to communicate with you without going to them first is like going to France and expecting everyone in France to speak English;
5703.  If you take five minutes before you meet someone to really think about what they value, how they communicate and how you can serve them, everything will change because you’re actually putting in thought and work into how you’re communicating rather than thinking that because you can speak you’re somehow a master communicator;
5704.  When you have a quick trigger for stress, you reduce the quality of your life and everything in it;
5705.  It doesn’t matter how good things are going externally if your emotional home is fragmented and stressed;
5706.  Every single emotion that you have in your life is a choice.  Once you’re aware of an emotion, you’re officially holding on to it;
5707.  Once you’re aware of an emotion, you are in complete control of your emotions at any given moment of your day.  You may not be in control of how they trigger, but once you are feeling an emotion and you’re aware of it.  It is in your power to change;
5708.  Meaning and events only have the significance that you ascribe to them;
5709.  Your emotions are the quality of your life and if anyone in the world can affect them in a negative way then you are not in control of your life and you are going to live a stressful experience;
5710.  You’re not getting stressed because of what’s happening in the world, at a deeper level, you’re getting stressed because you’re not in control.  All you need to do is to take ownership of your emotions and, in doing so, you can set yourself free;
5711.  Without leverage, you will remain stuck because you’re already leveraged in your current position.  You must have reasons, whether you’re aware of them or not, to continue doing your current behavior or it would have changed already.  Until you have a reason more powerful than what’s keeping you here, you’re going to stay exactly where you are;
5712.  There is no change without action and action only comes from a reason to do it;
5713.  Stop focusing on the how.  There is an unlimited amount of how and a how that works for you may not work for someone else.  Instead, focus on the why;
5714.  Leverage gives you the permission you need to keep trying all the different “hows” with everything you’ve got until you find a way through.  Commitment is building a total and ruthless focus on something that will allow you to plug the endless amount of answers that you could use into your life and actually start the experiment to find which one of them is going to work the most effective way;
5715.  Mastering leverage is about understanding that the human brain at all times is craving pleasure and avoiding pain.  Everything that you do in your life is at some level avoiding pain and about seeking pleasure;
5716.  The reason that you haven’t changed is that your brain thinks it’s more painful to change than it is to stay where you are;
5717.  Leverage is finding a reason to create change in your life where staying where you are, your current model of the world, your current reality and your current habits are more painful than changing;
5718.  A way to create leverage is to show your mind the real consequences of your actions if you fail to make a change;
5719.  Anything that you find important and care about you can tie to leverage to make change;
5720.  When I’m old and gray, what will I regret more?  Going after my dreams or settling for what I already have?
5721.  The key area for growth is recognizing that it doesn’t have to be certain.  You don’t have to have the perfect answer.  It just has to be good enough;
5722.  If you’re scared of failure or the rejection you may encounter from trying something new, acknowledge it.  Get comfortable with that fear.  We’re all truly fearful of failing at things that are important to us.  But you need to give yourself permission to feel that fear and go for it;
5723.  If you just feel the fear and run away then you’re never going to move forward;
5724.  Most of the time, it’s the expectations that we’ve set for ourselves that keep us locked down on a specific way we think we should be living our lives.  We’re afraid to make changes (that we know deep down in our hearts that we need to change) because we are looking for certainty that our changes will be the “right” ones;
5725.  You’ll never be sure about the outcomes of anything unless you actually take the actions to try and experience it for yourself;
5726.  The easiest way to get you to do anything is to create some fear or pain for you to run away from;
5727.  Respect is how to treat everyone not just those you want to impress;
5728.  It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love.  This is how the whole scheme of things works.  All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get;
5729.  It’s not in chasing happiness that we find it, but by practicing gratitude and compassion, which makes us feel deeply connected and fulfilled, which is what really makes us happy;
5730.  While empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes – to understand their situation and share their feelings – compassion is the concern and pity for their plight.  It’s the ability to feel their pain and to want to soothe it – just as you would want to soothe that pain if it were your own;
5731.  If we are compassionate towards others, it can help us to have a greater appreciation and gratitude for our own blessings in life.  For instance, when we empathize with someone who is sick, it helps us to appreciate the great blessing of our own health.  And if we have a strong sense of appreciation and gratitude in our own life, it can, in turn, help us to have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion towards others because a strong gratitude practice puts us in a mental position of resiliency that can fortify our ability to empathize;
5732.  Because of the way the brain works, the quickest way to greater happiness is not by chasing happiness itself.  Instead, it’s by cultivating and actively practicing gratitude and compassion in our lives;
5733.  In today’s world, there are many, who are willing to die for their religion, but no one is willing to live according to their religion’s principles;
5734.  It’s not in constantly chasing the things that we think we want that leads to a sense of “enoughness.”  It is rather the practice of gratitude for what we already have that makes our life feel full;
5735.  It’s not seeking love and acceptance from others that makes us feel valued (and validated).  Instead, it is instead practicing empathy and compassion for others that makes us feel truly connected;
5736.  Everything is temporary.  Your good times are temporary and your bad times are temporary.  So when you’re up, enjoy it, bask in it and be grateful for it.  And when you’re down, know you will get through it.  Know that it’s not the end and that it’s just a rough patch.  Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and surprises;
5737.  It’s about the journey not the destination.  There is a lesson in everything.  Recognizing the full worth of your hardships and your blunders is key to appreciating the journey;
5738.  More often than not, we tend to worry about what’s to come or dwell on something that’s already happened.  While it’s crucial to care and consider your future, be careful not to let it hinder your present.  Moments turn into memories.  Enjoy the moment while you have it;
5739.  Worrying isn’t productive.  Living in the past is equally unproductive;
5740.  Your work is a considerably large aspect in your life that you dedicate yourself to.  If you aren’t happy in your career, that unhappiness will seep into other aspects of your life.  And while nothing is perfect, it’s important to work on yourself and position yourself to reach the goals and satisfactions you desire;
5741.  Invest in yourself.  This goes for your non-work life too.  What habits and hobbies do you want to stop?  Which ones do you want to develop?  It’s important to be conscious of the type of people and activities you surround yourself with.  Information is like nutrients to your brain, be aware of what you are feeding yourself;
5742.  Success isn’t one triumphant moment.  Success is a series of moments (and choices) leading up to bigger moments;
5743.  You are the only person who can get in the way of living every day doing what you love;
5744.  What’s money?  A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do;
5745.  The happiest people tend to be the ones who’ve worked the most on themselves.  Being happy takes a lot of work.  It’s just as much work, if not more, to be unhappy.  So choose wisely;
5746.  Being happy means at some point you decided to take control of your life.  It means you decided to not be a victim and to put that energy back into yourself.  Sometimes it’s hard, but you have to pull yourself up and push yourself forward;
5747.  Your lifetime is a series of developments and personal growth;
5748.  One of the worst things you can do for self-development is comparing yourself to other people.  It’s easy to get caught up in jealousy and wanting what other people have.  Especially with the way we interact with social media.  You have to remember that people tend to show only the best parts of their lives on those platforms.  It’s not fair to yourself when you see that and think, “I want to do that” or “I want to look like that.”  Not only does that distract you from being appreciative of what you have in our own life, it doesn’t provide any productive input to yourself.  Most often, your perception of someone’s life is a fallacy.  And even if it isn’t, focus on yourself.  It’s your journey and your path that you should be concerned with;
5749.  Being happy takes practice.  Whether it’s you learning to let go of your ego or forming more self-loving habits, it takes practice;
5750.  You only have one life, work as hard as you can to make it your best life;

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