Monday, February 20, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

5051.  Job satisfaction requires three components: 1.  Passion – This is where it begins.  What do you care about?  What moves you?  What problems do you want to solve or issues you want to address?  If your heart is not in your work, you have a job but not a calling; 2.  Proficiency – Passion alone is not enough.  You have to be good at what you do.  Being good enough will not give you the satisfaction you desire.  You have to excel at your craft and be awesome.  Mastery is the goal; and 3.  Profitability – To enjoy a successful career, people must be willing to pay you for what you do.  You don’t have to get rich, but there must be a market for your product or service.  Otherwise, your career is not sustainable;
5052.  If you have passion and proficiency without profitability, you have a hobby;
5053.  If you have passion and profitability without proficiency, you have failure;
5054.  If you have proficiency and profitability without passion, you have boredom;
5055.  If you want to win with people, they not only have to know you; they also have to trust you.  Likability is the bridge between the two.  It’s a prerequisite to trust.  Why?  You’re not going to trust someone you don’t like;
5056.  Seven easy ways you can improve your likability quotient and up your trust with the people you meet and work with: 1.  Smile more.  Smiling is ground zero for likability.  It puts people at ease and draws them in.  It’s also contagious, so it lifts everyone’s mood.  Of course, the reverse is also true; 2.  Remember people’s names.  This isn’t easy for most of us.  And that’s all the more reason to try to improve. It sets you apart and gives you an edge.  Why?  People love being remembered and acknowledged by name; 3.  Look in people’s eyes.  Looking into people’s eyes communicates interest and worth.  When we connect eye-to-eye we demonstrate how much we value and appreciate the other person; 4.  Ask questions.  People love talking about themselves.  That’s important to know for two reasons.  First, it’s easy for leaders to monopolize conversations and alienate people.  Second, if you want to help people feel happy and engaged, giving them the freedom to talk about their own interests and projects is one of the easiest ways to do it.  That starts by asking great questions; 5.  Listen carefully.  It’s not enough to ask questions, you need to really listen.  We crave empathy and tend to like those who offer it to us; 6.  Be grateful.  If you want to make people feel as if their contribution really matters, take note and show gratitude.  When a teammate does something positive or helpful, recognize it.  When people feel valued by others, they usually respond in kind; and 7.  Celebrate milestones.  High achievers sometimes struggle with this last one.  Writing in Harvard Business Review, Teresa Amabile and Steven J. Kramer say this, “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.”  Leaders, they say, “have more influence than you may realize over employees’ well-being, motivation and creative output.”  When we celebrate our progress, we not only validate our work, we also improve the mood.  All seven of these ways share one thing in common.  They demonstrate value and appreciation and that’s the key to likability;
5057.  Even if you don’t consider yourself a good listener, anybody can develop this skill.  Try these five practices: 1.  Be fully present; 2.  See it from their perspective; 3.  Clarify and echo key points; 4.  Focus on them, not your response; and 5.  Develop genuine curiosity;
5058.  Whatever the game, it usually takes more than skill to prevail.  Believe it’s possible, believe you are uniquely equipped to succeed and stay focused on bringing home the win;
5059.  We cannot always control our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond.  The hard thing is that sometimes we forget we have a choice.  We feel like the choice has already been made for us and we’re stuck with it;
5060.  No one runs your life unless you let them.  And you have far more power than you think;
5061.  Until you take responsibility, you are a victim;
5062.  The great thing about responsibility is, once you own it, you can begin fixing it.  This eliminates a lot of wasted effort in playing the victim and blaming others;
5063.  It is also important for leaders to take responsibility for the good results they produce;
5064.  Acknowledge what happened.  You can’t move past a setback if you don’t;
5065.  Failure is not the end unless you quit;
5066.  Tickets on the (Washington) Capitals Ticket Exchange (TicketExchangeByTicketmaster.com/Washington-Capitals-Tickets) may be cheaper than (tickets on) StubHub!;
5067.  Debbie Matenopoulos is rather attractive;
5068.  (I can say) I’ve been to the National Christmas Tree Lighting;
5069.  The Hallmark Channel has some serious directing issues (at least for the National Christmas Tree Lighting);
5070.  (I can say) I’ve sang Christmas carols (specifically “Feliz Navidad” and “Jingle Bells”) with President Obama(, Marc Anthony, Garth Brooks, James Taylor, Trisha Yearwood, Kelly Clarkson, The Lumineers, Yolanda Adams, Chance the Rapper and Eva Longoria);
5071.  Braden Holtby (of the Washington Capitals) orders carryout at Virtue (Feed & Grain) (VirtueFeedAndGrain.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria;
5072.  Kristy has cold hands;
5073.  Apparently, 1 in 10 babies in Europe is conceived in a bed made by IKEA;
5074.  Who would’ve thought that bacon and chocolate actually work (well) together?
5075.  Hot chocolate with rye whiskey is actually pretty good;
5076.  According to Luisa, I give good back massages;
5077.  The amount of (acting) talent in “Love Actually” is (rather) staggering;
5078.  Apparently, Tove Lo’s idea of a bra is pink tape covering her nipples;
5079.  Tove Lo can sing;
5080.  Daya can sing too;
5081.  It’s (kind of) strange when your date won’t look you in the eye when she’s talking to you;
5082.  The single most important tool to being in balance is knowing that you and you alone are responsible for the imbalance between what you dream your life is meant to be and the daily habits that drain life from that dream.  You can create a new alignment with your mental energy and instruct the universe to send opportunities to correct this imbalance;
5083.  However absurd it may seem to others, if you want to restore the balance between your dreams and your habits, you need to make a shift in the energy that you’re contributing to your dreams.  If you’re out of balance, it’s primarily because you’ve energetically allowed your habits to define your life.  Those habits, and the consequences thereof, are the result of the energy you’ve given them;
5084.  You get what you think about, whether you want it or not.  Commit to thinking about what you want, rather than how impossible or difficult that dream may seem.  Give your personal dreams a place to hang out on the balance scale so that you can see them in your imagination and they can soak up the energy they deserve.  Thoughts are mental energy; they’re the currency that you have to attract what you desire.  You must learn to stop spending that currency on thoughts you don’t want, even though you may feel compelled to continue your habitual behavior.  Your body might continue, for a while, to stay where it’s been trained to be, but meanwhile, thoughts are being aligned with your dreams;
5085.  Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations.  I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead;
5086.  Your intention to feel successful and experience prosperity and abundance depends on what view you have of yourself, the universe and, most importantly, the field of intention from which success and abundance will come.  The way you look at life is essentially a barometer of your expectations, based on what you’ve been taught you’re worthy of and capable of achieving.  These expectations are largely imposed by external influences such as family, community and institutions, but they’re also influenced by that ever-present inner companion: your ego;
5087.  Your expectations are largely based on the beliefs of limitation, scarcity and pessimism about what’s possible for you.  If these beliefs are the basis for how you look at life then this perception of the world is what you expect for yourself.  Attracting abundance, prosperity and success from these limiting viewpoints is an impossibility;
5088.  Kristy is an I.N.T.J.;
5089.  Georgia is north of Turkey;
5090.  Apparently, they serve turkey in Georgia, but not in Turkey;
5091.  Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in determining your mood, energy level and sleep quality.  In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this blue light.  When your eyes are exposed to it directly, it halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel alert.  In the afternoon, the sun’s rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and this starts making you sleepy.  By the evening, your brain doesn’t expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it.  Most of our favorite evening devices – laptops, tablets and mobile phones – emit short-wavelength blue light brightly and right in our faces.  This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off;
5092.  If you can’t appreciate what you have now, you won’t be able to appreciate the “good life” if you ever get it;
5093.  You can edit a bad page, but you can’t edit a blank page;
5094.  I really like the Shepherd’s Pie at Ireland’s Four Courts (IrelandsFourCourts.com) in Arlington.  I think it’s (because of) the gravy;
5095.  Chicken has more flavor if you cook it with the skin on;
5096.  Reflection: 1.  What was awesome about this year?  List 3 awesome things that happened in each month of the year; 2.  Next questions are: A) What are you grateful for this year?  B) How did you feel about your life this year?  C) How do you want to feel in your life next year?  List as many things as you can in the gratitude department.  Reflect on how you felt about your life in 2016 without judgement.  Allow yourself those feelings.  No matter what they were, acknowledge and honor them.  Do a little meditation on how you want to feel in your life next year; 3.  Think about how you can apply the lessons you learned this year: A) What did you learn?  B) What could you have done to make this year better?  C) How can you build upon the lessons of this year to make next year rock?  Take your time with this process.  Reflection is not meant to be rushed.  Allow yourself to steep in the reflections for the last few weeks of this year.  Do some journaling on it.  Keep a notebook with you and jot things down as they come to mind; 4.  Finally, when you’ve done all that, say a little prayer of sorts.  Thank the universe for guiding you and helping your true potential to unfold.  Express your trust that everything is happening for your highest good and your belief that the universe has your back always and in all ways;
5097.  You won’t learn anything new if you think you know everything;
5098.  There are free performances every day at 6 o’clock (in the evening) at the Millennium Stage inside the Kennedy Center (Kennedy-Center.org/Video/Upcoming);
5099.  (George Frideric) Handel repeats a lot of lyrics in the “Messiah;”
5100.  The duck jerky at Left Door (LeftDoorDC.com) in D.C. is pretty tasty;

Monday, February 6, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

5001.  Don’t pester your friends with your problems.  That’s not productive advice-seeking; it’s pointless whining;
5002.  The plain truth is that most people don’t want workable advice from certified mentors, who will propel them to the next level.  They want commiseration, comfort, understanding and justification for why they’re stuck;
5003.  What many people really want when they solicit advice is not advice at all, but rather validation that they’re right;
5004.  We say we need help getting outside of our box, but what we really want is for people to crawl into our box, relate to us and share our pain.  The only people qualified and able to get you out of your box are those who refuse to crawl inside with you.  Friends will cozy up with you inside your box.  True mentors won’t;
5005.  People will solicit advice.  They won’t like what they hear because it clashes with their preconceived notions.  So they’ll justify not following it by labeling it “negative;”
5006.  Legitimate mentors will tell you things you don’t want to hear.  It will feel like they’re insensitive to your pain while they tear your dream apart.  But all they’re doing is revealing the same pitfalls they fell into along your same path;
5007.  Within minutes, the right mentor can analyze your situation and tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong and how to fix it.  They’re not being negative or insensitive; they’re being realistic from hard-earned experience;
5008.  Sometimes change isn’t comfortable and sometimes neither is growth, but you can’t get anywhere in life without taking action;
5009.  Financial risk is in the investor, not the investment.  Mitigate risk by increasing your knowledge;
5010.  A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose.  She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable.  Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way.  A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier.  Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity and openness.  Her desire is for his deepest truth and love.  As he grows, so will her testing;
5011.  Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.  The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so.  Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge;
5012.  It never ends.  This is the secret.  Finding a different woman won’t get you out of it.  Therapy won’t get you out of it.  Financial or sexual mastery won’t get you out of it.  Your woman is testing you because she loves you.  She wants to feel your truth.  She wants to feel your love.  And she wants to feel that your truth and love are stronger than the barbs she can throw at you.  Then she can relax and surrender into the polarity of man and woman.  Then she can trust you;
5013.  The most loving women are the women who will test you the most.  They want you to be your fullest, most magnificent self;
5014.  “Keeping your word” is a masculine trait in men or women.  A person with a feminine essence may not keep his/her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.”  In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship.  When she says, “I hate you,” “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well-considered stance with respect to events and experience.  On the other hand, the masculine means what it says.  A man’s word is his honor.  The feminine says what it feels.  A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment;
5015.  When you listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the ocean or the wind in the leaves.  The sounds you hear from her are sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy.  Of course, there are times when she speaks in the masculine style of meaning exactly what she says, but, more often and almost always in emotional moments, what she says is the sound of her feelings.  Her feminine speech is far more like poetry than like a clear cut agenda for action.  In an emotional moment, what she says she is going to do is actually an expression of what she feels like doing in the moment.  Her feelings and, therefore, what she is actually going to do, could change in five minutes.  It could change every five minutes;
5016.  The basic rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it.  And even then, know that she is probably talking about her current feelings not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talking about.  Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it.  And then expect her to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change.  Remember that a woman’s feelings may be more sensitive to an unseen realm of nature than are yours.  Try to differentiate between your woman’s shifting moods and her sensitive wisdom;
5017.  Women are not liars although they often seem that way to men.  This is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own decisions based on the deepest truth he can fathom.  Otherwise, if he bends his course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing expressions, he will probably end up blaming her;
5018.  You should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth carefully.  Then, after you have fully considered her input, make your best possible decision from your own deep core.  This way, if your woman subsequently changes her mind, you won’t resent her for compromising your path;
5019.  When you get a letter from the I.R.S., first notice the color of the envelope.  If it’s brown, fear not, the I.R.S. has sent you a check, but if it’s white, you may be the subject of an audit;
5020.  How to handle an audit: 1.  Never talk to the I.R.S. yourself, let your C.P.A. do it; 2.  Don’t give any more information than the I.R.S. requires; and 3.  Be nice to your I.R.S. auditor;
5021.  There are two perceptive realities: one based on fear and one based on love.  They are both real, in a way, because they shape how we experience the world, but we get to choose;
5022.  Nothing’s going to happen for you if you just sit around waiting for something to happen.  Action has to be taken.  But not all actions are created equal.  Not all actions are the right actions.  It’s a matter of taking action that’s in alignment with your core values and beliefs;
5023.  Dark times are not always a bad thing.  They might suck at the time and they sure are painful to go through, but they can lead us to face uncomfortable truths about our lives that we often are unwilling to look at when things are just chugging along.  The truth remains unconscious until the pain of denial becomes stronger than the pain of facing up to it;
5024.  We tend to think of our lives as dull or small when we don’t love our lives the way they are and we feel like there’s something more exciting we could be doing with them, but often what we’re doing, when we feel like this, is we’re comparing our current reality to our dream reality;
5025.  No matter how much craziness is going on in your life, in society, on social media, in the news, you can choose peace instead of that.  It doesn’t mean that you can necessarily change what’s happening, but you can accept what is.  It doesn’t mean that you necessarily like it, but you can accept that it is what it is right now.  That’s the fact of the matter.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that you will do nothing about it moving forward, but you have to acknowledge, understand and accept what is, accept the fact that things are the way they are, before you can move forward in a meaningful way;
5026.  Do not be discouraged by your inability to dispel darkness from the world.  Light your little candle and step forward;
5027.  Remember that chemistry is inherently personal.  Even if you think she is the hottest thing since Adam and Eve that doesn’t mean that she has a crazy dating life or even gets hit on a lot.  In fact, if you’re talking to her and you actually have real chemistry, she probably feels exactly the same way about you;
5028.  Recognize that the desire to do something “special” comes from the belief that you are not enough by yourself(, but you are enough);
5029.  The most successful entrepreneurs put no time or energy into stressing about their failures as they see failure as a small and necessary step in the process of reaching their goals;
5030.  My (maternal) grandfather was editor-in-chief of the second largest newspaper in Kowloon and (in) Hong Kong;
5031.  My (maternal) grandfather died in a(n America) bombing raid three months before the end of World War II.  My mom was two and a half (years old) at the time;
5032.  My (maternal) grandmother was born in 1918;
5033.  My (maternal) grandmother was under 18 when she married my grandfather;
5034.  Positive emotions like gratitude help us become more resilient;
5035.  Gratitude keeps us hopeful;
5036.  Gratitude expands our possible responses.  Gratitude moves us into a place of abundance, a place where we’re more resourceful, creative, generous, optimistic and kind.  When we’re operating from a place of scarcity, it tends to make us reactionary, close-minded, tight-fisted, gloomy and even mean;
5037.  Positive emotions, say researchers, “broaden one’s thought-action repertoire, expanding the range of cognitions and behaviors that come to mind.  These broadened mindsets, in turn, build an individual’s physical, intellectual and social resources.”  In other words, they make us more resilient;
5038.  One of the challenges in reaching our long-term goals is getting derailed by short-term gains.  These are decisions that look good in the moment; instant gratification usually does.  But they actually prevent us from making progress or even set us back;
5039.  Gratitude keeps you going.  In one study researchers, Robert A. Emmons and Anjali Mishra, had students list goals they hoped to reach over a two month period.  Ten weeks later they checked back and found the grateful students were closer than others in the study to reaching their goals;
5040.  Gratitude improves your patience.  A lot of times we take the easy out because we’re impatient.  Achieving big goals takes time and effort.  Thankfully, gratitude can keep you in the game;
5041.  Gratitude lowers your stress;
5042.  The seven steps to thinking big: 1.  Imagine the possibilities.  Give yourself permission to dream; 2.  Write down your dream.  This is the act that transforms a dream into a goal.  Amazing things happen when you commit something to writing.  Writing down your goals forces you to clarify what you want, motivates you to take action, helps you overcome resistance and gives you a way to objectively measure your success; 3.  Connect with what is at stake.  This is your rationale.  Unfortunately, it is a crucial step that people often omit.  Before you can find your way, you must discover your why.  Why is this goal important to you?  What will achieving it make possible?  What is at stake if you don’t?  What will you lose?  Your rationale provides the intellectual and emotional power to keep going when the path becomes difficult (which it will); 4.  Outline what would have to be true.  Rather than merely asking how to get from where you are to where you want to go, ask what would have to be true for your dream to become a reality.  Start with the dream and work backwards.  It’s the same for any goal; 5.  Decide what you can do to affect the outcome.  This is where you transition from the big picture to daily actions.  This is where people often get derailed.  They can’t see all the steps that will take them to their goal.  So rather than doing something, they do nothing.  You will never see the full path.  The important thing is to do the next right thing.  What can you do today to move you toward your dream? 6.  Determine when this will happen.  Someone once said that a goal is simply a dream with a deadline.  A deadline is one way to make the dream more concrete, which is exactly what thinking big is about.  A deadline also creates a sense of urgency that will motivate you to take action.  Force yourself to assign a “by when” date to every goal.  (If you get stuck, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t hit this?”); and 7.  Review your goals daily;
5043.  You ought to be glad for the troubles on your job because they provide about half your income.  If it were not for the things that go wrong, the difficult people with whom you deal and the problems of your working day, someone could be found to handle your job for half of what you are being paid.  So start looking for more troubles.  Learn to handle them cheerfully and with good judgment, as opportunities rather than irritations, and you will find yourself getting ahead at a surprising rate.  There are plenty of big jobs waiting for people who are not afraid of troubles;
5044.  Problems can signal existing success.  Most of us accept the fact that failure brings problems, but sometimes we are surprised that success does too.  Achieving success doesn’t mean our problems disappear.  It means we get different challenges that correlate to our achievements.  There’s usually a link between the complexity of our challenges and the level of our responsibility.  Chances are good the bigger your problems, the greater success you have and are already experiencing;
5045.  Problems spur greater success.  Solving problems stretches us personally and professionally.  Without problems, there aren’t opportunities.  And without opportunities, we can’t grow, be given more responsibility or make more money.  In fact, if you ever find yourself in a job without problems, you should immediately start looking for another one.  It’s a sure sign you’re stuck;
5046.  Problems engender confidence.  This is one of the key reasons Navy SEALs endure the most grueling training imaginable.  “You can’t learn the confidence adversity teaches you in a classroom or from a book,” SEAL Alden Mills says, “You learn it from experience.”  Only when we see ourselves overcoming problems do we gain the confidence to know we can do it again;
5047.  Problems expand our understanding.  When we’ve faced challenges, we know what it’s like.  And we can apply that knowledge to others, a critical skill for leaders to develop.  A leader who’s overcome significant problems will know what s/he can expect from her/his team.  And s/he’ll know how to help them reach their goals;
5048.  Fears are almost always based on unknowns, when we become familiar with our fears, it often kills them;
5049.  Apparently, (unopened) cans of “Red Bull” will explode after 12 years or so;
5050.  Anger can be healthy, if it’s directed in the right way.  The most helpful way to direct your anger is to use it as motivation to find a solution.  This is the most peaceful, helpful, productive way to use your anger.  The least helpful way to use your anger is to direct it into an unproductive loop of blame, complain and demean;

Monday, January 23, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

4951.  When you deny your deep truth to please your woman, everyone will feel your lack of authenticity.  They will sense that your false smile hides an inner division.  Your friends, children and business colleagues may love you, but they won’t trust you since you don’t trust your own core intent.  And, more importantly, your own sense of inauthenticity will burden your capacity to act with clarity.  Your actions won’t jibe with your core;
4952.  If you listen to your woman, taking everything she says into account and making your own best decision then you are acting in accordance with your core.  You are saying, in effect, “My deepest wisdom is leading me to this decision.  If I am wrong, I will learn from it and my wisdom will have deepened.  I’m willing to be wrong and grow from it;
4953.  The attitude of self-trust engenders others’ trust in you.  You may be wrong, but you are willing to find out and, thus, grow from the experience.  You are open to listening to others, but in the end, you will take the responsibility for making your own decision.  There is nobody else to blame;
4954.  If you give up your real decision to follow your woman’s then you will blame her for being wrong, if she is wrong, and you will feel disempowered if she is right, having denied yourself the opportunity to act from your core and grow from your mistakes;
4955.  Be open to changing your feeling based on whatever your woman might reveal to you – through her words or her body language – and then make your own decision based on your deepest intuitive wisdom and knowledge.  You may make the right decision or the wrong one, but whatever happens, it is your best shot and you will strengthen your capacity for future action;
4956.  Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship.  If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe and cheats his woman of an authentic man, who can offer her full, undivided presence;
4957.  Once you are honest with yourself about your real edge, it is best to lean just beyond it.  Very few men have the guts for this practice.  Most men either settle for the easy path or self-aggrandize themselves by taking the extreme hard path.  Your insecurity may cause you to doubt yourself and so you take the easy way not even approaching your real edge.  Alternatively, your insecurity may lead you to push, push, push, seeking to become victorious over your own sense of lack;
4958.  Your fear is the sharpest definition of yourself;
4959.  Primary fear shows you that you are at your edge;
4960.  Staying with the fear, staying at your edge, allows real transformation to occur;
4961.  Playing your edge allows you to perceive the moment with the least amount of distortion;
4962.  Fear of fear may lead you to hang back, living a lesser life than you are capable.  Fear of fear may lead you to push ahead, living a false life, off center, tense and missing the moment.  But the capacity to feel this moment, including your fear, without trying to escape it, creates a state of alive and humble spontaneity.  You are ready for the unknown as it unfolds since you are not pulled back or pushed forward from the horizon of the moment.  You are hanging right over the edge;
4963.  Own your fear and lean just beyond it in every aspect of your life;
4964.  A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy.  If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father) then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism;
4965.  Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another.  If you are at your edge, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook.  They should honor your fears and, in love, continue to goad you beyond them without pushing you;
4966.  If you merely want support from your men friends without challenge, it bespeaks an unresolved issue you may have with your father, whether he is alive or dead;
4967.  Choose men friends, who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them.  Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves.  You should be able to trust that these friends will tell you about your life as they see it, offer you a specific action, which will shed light on your own position, and give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge, which is not always or even usually, comfortable;
4968.  The core of your life is your purpose.  Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose, if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world.  If you know your purpose, your deepest desire then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours;
4969.  If you don’t know your deepest desire then you can’t align your life to it.  Everything in your life is dissociated from your core.  You go to work, but since it’s not connected to your deepest purpose, it is just a job, a way to earn money.  You go through your daily round with your family and friends, but each moment is just another in a long string of moments, going nowhere, not inherently profound;
4970.  When you know your true purpose, which is your core desire in life, each moment can become a full expression of your core desire.  Every instant of career, every instant of intimacy is filled with the power of your purpose.  You are no longer just going through the motions at work and with your woman, but you are living the truth of your life and giving the gifts of your love moment by moment;
4971.  The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman because he is already full;
4972.  As you open yourself to living at your edge, your deepest purpose will slowly begin to make itself known.  In the meantime, you will experience layer after layer of purposes, each one getting closer and closer to the fullness of your deepest purpose.  It is as if your deepest purpose is at the center of your being and it is surrounded by layers of concentric circles, each circle being a lesser purpose.  Your life consists of penetrating each circle, from the outside toward the center;
4973.  The outer purposes are often the purposes you have inherited or learned from your parents and your childhood experiences.  The outer circles, the purposes you often apply yourself too early in life, are most likely only distant approximations of your deepest purpose;
4974.  As you dissolve each layer and move toward the center, you will more and more be living from your deeper purposes and then your deepest heart purpose, whatever that is, in every moment.  However, you probably are not living your deepest purpose yet.  You probably need to burn off the karma or fulfill the need, of the present purpose by which you are fascinated and distracted;
4975.  It’s easy to feel disappointed by life; success is never as fulfilling as you think it is going to be.  But there is a reason for this.  Successfully completing a lesser purpose doesn’t feel very good for very long because it is simply preparation for advancing toward a greater embodiment of your deeper purpose.  Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring and useless.  Then it should be discarded.  This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure;
4976.  You may take on a business project, work at it for several years and then suddenly find yourself totally disinterested.  You know that if you stayed with it for another few years you would reap much greater financial reward than if you left the project now, but the project no longer calls you.  You no longer feel interested in the project.  You have developed skills over the last few years working on the project, but it hasn’t yet come to fruition.  You may wonder, now that you have the skills, should you stick with it and bring the project to fruition, even though the work feels empty to you?  Maybe you should stick with it.  Maybe you are bailing out too soon, afraid of success or failure or just too lazy to persevere.  This is one possibility.  Ask your close men friends if they feel you are simply losing steam, wimping out or afraid to bring your project to completion.  If they feel you are bailing out too soon, stick with it;
4977.  The signs of fulfilling or completing a layer of purpose are these: 1.  You suddenly have no interest whatsoever in a project or mission that, just previously, motivated you highly; 2.  You feel surprisingly free of any regrets whatsoever for starting the project or for ending it; 3.  Even though you may not have the slightest idea of what you are going to do next, you feel clear, unconfused and, especially, unburdened; 4.  You feel an increase in energy at the prospect of ceasing your involvement with the project; 5.  The project seems almost silly, like collecting shoelaces or wallpapering your house with gas station receipts.  Sure, you could do it, but why would you want to?  If you experience these signs, it is probably time to stop working on this project.  You must end your involvement impeccably, however, making sure there are no loose ends and that you do not burden anybody’s life by stopping your involvement.  This might take some time, but it is important that this layer of your purpose ends cleanly and does not create any new karma or obligation that will burden you or others in the future;
4978.  The next layer of your unfolding purpose may make itself clear immediately.  More often, however, it does not.  After completing one layer of purpose, you might not know what to do with your life.  You know that the old project is over for you, but you are not sure of what is next.  At this point, you must wait for a vision;
4979.  Parenting children, as well as any responsible commitment in love, requires that you transcend your own personal preferences for the sake of the larger commitment, for the sake of service in love.  This is a natural part of being a householder.  However, you cannot abnegate your deepest purpose to do so or else you will feel frustrated, eventually resigning yourself to a lesser life than you know you are capable of living;
4980.  Self-resignation will communicate itself to your woman and your children.  They will feel your weakness.  Your woman will begin to take charge more than she really wants, since you are clearly not capable of taking charge yourself, and someone has to do it.  Your children will challenge your capacity to discipline them, since they can feel your own lack of authentic self-discipline.  Try as you might, once you have negated your own deep purpose, your household will become a place where everybody tests your capacity to stand your ground and you will lose;
4981.  A short period of time with a father, who is absolutely present, full in love, undivided inside and sure of his mission in life, will affect your children much more positively than if they spend lots of time with a father who is ambiguous in his intent and has lost touch with his deepest purpose, no matter how much he loves his children;
4982.  Children learn most from their parents by osmosis.  If their father is subtly weakened and compromised, this will flavor their experience of his love;
4983.  It is not the amount of time, but the quality of the interaction that most influences a child’s growth.  Children are exquisitely sensitive to emotional tone.  If you are not full in your core, aligned with your deepest purpose and living a life of authentic commitment, your children will feel it;
4984.  Don’t cheat your family of your fullest core and don’t use them as an excuse to avoid the work it will take to manifest your highest vision.  You can give love to your family and engage your life’s work, if you discipline yourself to act on your deepest desires with priority.  Then, when you are with your family, you are with them totally, since there is no chronically unfinished business in your life to distract you, and no inner ambiguity about where you want to be or what you really want to be doing;
4985.  If you forget your larger purpose, while pursuing the small and endless tasks of daily life, then you have reduced yourself to a machine of picayune;
4986.  To help you remember the triviality of your daily tasks, interrupt your schedule with refreshers.  These refreshers should cut to your core and strip the fat off the moment.  Consider your own death.  Behold an image of the most enlightened being you know.  Contemplate the mystery of existence.  Relax into the deepest and most profound loving of which you are capable.  In your own way, remember the infinite, and then return to the task at hand.  This way, you will never lose perspective and begin to think that life is a matter of tasks.  You are not a drone.  You are the unbounded mystery of love.  Be so, without forgetting your tasks;
4987.  Too many professionals, by focusing on maximizing control, become mediocre at a lot of things instead of becoming amazing at one or two things.  This leads to exhaustion and, in many cases, even becoming resentful of their profession;
4988.  The caveat here is that it’s a huge mistake to hand off too much control too fast.  Don’t get so eager to let go that you create chaos.  You need a good transition process.  You need to adapt and adjust to challenges that arise;
4989.  The reason that most people struggle to change habits is they forget to give themselves a reward.  Without the reward, the brain doesn’t get the chemical payoff from the new activity and, thus, never fills the hole left by the old reward.  Eventually, if no reward is encountered, the new attempt at a habit will fail;
4990.  Make a list of the habits in your life that aren’t serving you.  Write out a new habit for each of the habits identified.  Determine if and how you can utilize the trigger of an old habit to spark a new habit.  Write down a trigger, action and reward for each of the new habits.  Prioritize the importance of each habit and begin implementing them one at a time;
4991.  This is the only life you have and the only body you have so cherish them both and treat them right;
4992.  Never sacrifice what you want now for what you want most;
4993.  Be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become;
4994.  More people fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent;
4995.  Character is a commitment and can never be less than 100 percent commitment, otherwise, it is merely an interest;
4996.  Integrity is gained by doing what I say I am going to do, when I am going to do it or at a minimum honoring my word by communicating and making a request to the party I am working or communicating with to invent a new possibility;
4997.  The most powerful times to have integrity is when it is difficult or if it stretches you or if you don’t feel like handling it;
4998.  The fastest way to get to where you want to go is to pick the brain of someone who’s already been there;
4999.  Do not ever ask advice of a trusted mentor unless you’re one hundred percent willing to do exactly what they advise even and, especially if, you disagree;
5000.  If you’re offended by advice you solicited, that’s a sure sign your heart wasn’t right when you asked.  If you’re not willing to hear it and follow it, don’t ask for it;

Monday, January 9, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

4901.  Part of Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport used to be Abingdon Plantation, the birthplace of George Washington’s step-granddaughter, Eleanor Parke Custis;
4902.  Apparently, the “holiday turkey and stuffing panini” at Starbucks makes its appearance after Halloween;
4903.  If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you won’t find it in the opinions or the beliefs that have been handed to you.  Rather than trying to be what everyone else expects you to be, live your life by your own rules to be happy and find inner peace;
4904.  The bacon maple doughnut at Sugar Shack (Donuts) (SugarShackDonuts.com) is pretty good;
4905.  Calmness does not mean lack of concern; it means the ability to separate the real from the unreal and thereby to take sensible action;
4906.  There are only two possible approaches to dealing with upsetting circumstances in the present.  One is to change the circumstance; the other is to change the mind which is experiencing the upset.  Sometimes finding the appropriate way to change the circumstances is the most sensible, but there is always another option.  S/he can realize that there is no need to give any sight or sound the power to upset her/him.  S/he can choose to see the disturbance as stemming from her/his mind and not from the event.  Then, s/he can find a solution;
4907.  There are always going to be thoughts and events that try to pull our attention away from the here and now.  Each is an opportunity to practice the all-important art of concentration;
4908.  Freedom from mental freak-outs happens as one’s peace of mind becomes more and more a function of inner resources and less and less dependent upon externals;
4909.  Letting go of attachments does not mean losing anything (i.e., a child does not risk losing his thumb when s/he stops sucking it); it does mean releasing our grip on things and our desire to control them (i.e., it is the grip on wealth which makes a miser uptight and unhappy not the wealth itself);
4910.  Letting go means allowing joy to come into your life instead of contriving to have a good time; learning to appreciate the love and beauty already happening around you rather than trying to manufacture something which you think isn’t there; letting problems be solved in the unconscious mind as well as by straining with conscious effort;
4911.  Many people carry around with them an image of the kind of person they wish they were.  When our behavior does not seem to measure up to our ideal, we grow dejected and then start trying hard to correct it (i.e., perhaps I should take a series of lessons, or a course on personality development, or read a book about how to become less self-critical, or undergo therapy, or join an encounter group).  Such steps are not necessarily foolish, but what is needed is not so much the effort to improve ourselves, as the effort to become more aware of the beauty of what we already are.  As we begin to see and appreciate our essential selves, we manifest automatically that beauty and our true capacities, simply by letting them happen;
4912.  “Abandon” is a good word to describe what happens when one feels s/he has nothing to lose.  S/he stops caring about the outcome and goes all out;
4913.  The true meaning of detachment means letting go of the concern of “self 1” and letting the natural concern of a deeper self take over.  It is caring, yet not caring; it is effortless effort.  It happens when one lets go of attachment to the results of one’s actions and allows the increased energy to come to bear on the action itself;
4914.  In the language of karma yoga, this is called action without attachment to the fruits of action, and ironically when the state is achieved the results are the best possible;
4915.  The ghosts of the past and the monsters of the future disappear when all one’s conscious energy is employed in understanding the present;
4916.  The light which dispels the shadows of our mental projections is the light of our own consciousness;
4917.  When we understand something, we may have cause to be wary of it, but there is no fear.  Understanding the present moment, the only time when any action can occur, requires concentration of mind; the ability to keep the mind focused in the here and now;
4918.  Consciousness is the energy of light which makes an experience knowable just as a light bulb in the forest illuminates its surroundings.  The brighter the light, the more that is known or understood about one’s experience.  When the light is dim because some of our energy is leaking into regrets over the past or fears of the future or is in some way wasted in resisting the flow of life, then one’s experience is filled with shadows and distortions.  But when most of our conscious energy is brought to bear on the present with a sincere desire to understand what is before us, then something called “higher consciousness” occurs.  It is called “higher” merely because more is seen and understood than before.  It is something like walking up a mountain and having an increasing view of what is going on in the valley below except that in the case of increased consciousness you are not only able to see more because of your point of view, but you can also see the subtler details with greater clarity;
4919.  The art of concentration is basically the art of experiencing ever more fully whatever is in the here and now for you;
4920.  Concentration is said to be the master art because all other arts depend on it; progress in this, as in any art, is achieved only through practice;
4921.  There is no life situation where one cannot practice focusing one’s full attention on what is happening at the moment.  Normally, we tend to concentrate only when something we consider important is happening, but all moments are important ones and worth paying attention to for each moment can increase her/his understanding of herself/himself and life;
4922.  In the final analysis it is our state of consciousness which is the determining factor in our appreciation of the beautiful, the true or the loving.  A person may own an exquisite oil painting, but if s/he can’t appreciate its beauty, how valuable really is that painting to her/him?  Another person may own nothing beautiful, but if her/his consciousness is attuned to beauty, s/he is rich because s/he will always be surrounded by beauty;
4923.  The fool is a fool because he doesn’t know how to learn from her/his experience; the wise person is wise because s/he does;
4924.  Every heightening of consciousness enables one to appreciate more fully the experiences which life offers;
4925.  Changes in consciousness alter our lives automatically because it is only through consciousness that we experience life;
4926.  Only when a person is paying attention to something s/he really loves can s/he concentrate her/his mind and find true satisfaction;
4927.  We can’t run and we can’t hide from ourselves because everywhere we go, we’re there;
4928.  Apparently, women lie about their age on dating apps (specifically Italian women from Ischia);
4929.  Anxiety is fixated being trapped in the future and depression is being trapped in the past;
4930.  Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.  All natural forces flow between two poles.  Masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of sexual feeling.  This is sexual polarity;
4931.  It is up to you: you can have a loving friendship between two similars, but you need a more masculine and a more feminine partner in the moments when you want strong sexual polarity;
4932.  The “mission” or the search for freedom is the priority of the masculine, whereas the search for love is the priority of the feminine;
4933.  Even though all people have both masculine and feminine qualities that they could use in any moment, most men and women also have a more masculine or feminine core.  And this shows up in their regularly chosen entertainments, as much as in their preferred sexual play;
4934.  So, about 90% of people have either a more masculine or a more feminine sexual essence.  They would like to be ravished by or to ravish, their intimate partner, at least some of the time, in addition to having a loving friendship.  This holds true for homosexual and heterosexual people alike;
4935.  About 10% of people, men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, have a more balanced sexual essence.  It doesn’t really matter to them whether their lover is physically stronger or more vulnerable than them.  Sexual polarity just isn’t that important to them in relationships;
4936.  Most people are forgetting that the sameness that works in the office does not work in intimacy for about 90% of couples: those couples composed of partners with masculine and feminine essences rather than balanced essences.  If sexual passion is to flow in these polarized intimacies, masculine and feminine differences should be magnified, not diminished, in moments of intimacy.  When these polarities are lessened due to family and work obligations, sexual attraction is diminished, along with spiritual depth and physical health;
4937.  When you deny your true core, you deny the possibility of true and real love.  Love is openness through and through.  And true spirituality is the practice of love, the practice of openness.  A person who denies their own essence and hides their true desires is divided and unable to relax into the full openness of love.  Their spirit becomes cramped and kinked.  Unable to feel the natural ease and unconstrained power of their own core, they feel threatened and frightened.  This fear is the texture of their inability to open fully in love.  Such a person is spiritually handicapped and obstructed at heart even though they may have achieved a safe relationship and a successful career;
4938.  As a culture, we have advanced in terms of personal freedom, sexual equality and social rights, but we have remained spiritually thwarted and afraid.  For the sake of individual autonomy and social fairness, with only good intentions in mind, we have erroneously begun to deny, smooth out and neutralize our masculine and feminine differences.  In doing so, people often end up denying their deepest core desires, which are rooted in their true sexual essence.  A lot of people today think they have a balanced sexual essence, but in most cases they are actually suppressing the natural desires which spring from their real masculine or feminine core;
4939.  Apparently, women don’t read profiles on dating apps either;
4940.  Stop waiting for the good stuff.  As of now, spend a minimum of one hour a day doing whatever you are waiting to do until your finances are more secure, or until the children have grown and left home, or until you have finished your obligations and you feel free to do what you really want to do.  Don’t wait any longer.  Don’t believe in the myth of “one day when everything will be different.”  Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you’ve been born to do, now;
4941.  Most postponements are excuses for a lack of creative discipline.  Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a person, who really wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a person, who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place.  Find out today whether you are willing to do what it takes to give your gift fully.  As a first step, spend at least an hour today giving your fullest gift, whatever that is for today, so that when you go to sleep at night you know you couldn’t have lived your day with more courage, creativity and giving;
4942.  In addition to the myth that one day your life will be fundamentally different, you may believe and hope, that one day your woman will be fundamentally different.  Don’t wait.  Assume she’s going to be however she is, forever.  If your woman’s behavior or mood is truly intolerable to you, you should leave her and don’t look back (since you cannot change her).  However, if you find her behavior or mood is merely distasteful or a hassle, realize that she will always seem this way: The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine;
4943.  The next time you notice yourself trying to fix your woman so that she will no longer (fill in the blank), relax and give her love by touching her and telling her that you love her when she is this way (whatever you filled in the blank with).  Embrace her, or wrestle with her, or scream and yell for the heck of it, but make no effort to bring an end to that which pisses you off.  Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you.  You can’t escape the tussle with the feminine.  Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.  The love that you magnify may realign her behavior, but your effort to fix her and your frustration never will;
4944.  The world and your woman/man will always present you with unforeseen challenges.  You are either living fully, giving your gift in the midst of those challenges, even today, or you are waiting for an imaginary future which will never come;
4945.  Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease or women;
4946.  Your edge is where you stop short or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears;
4947.  Perhaps you are comfortable with your life and you fear the lifestyle change that might accompany a change in career even though the new career will be closer to what you really want to do with your life.  You’ve spent 15 years developing your career, and you’re afraid to let go of it and start fresh even though you know that you spend most of your life doing things you have no real interest in doing.  You could be making money in more creative ways, but you spend too much time watching TV rather than being creative;
4948.  A fearful man, who still leans into his fear, living at his edge and putting his gift out from there, is more trustworthy and more inspirational than a fearful man, who hangs back in the comfort zone, unwilling to even experience his fear on a day to day level;
4949.  Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being.  Everything other than this process is secondary.  Your job, your children, your wife, your money, your artistic creations, your pleasures, they are all superficial and empty, if they are not floating in the deep sea of your conscious being;
4950.  You should always listen to your woman and then make your own decision.  If you choose to go with your woman’s suggestion even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is wiser, you are, in effect, saying, “I don’t trust my own wisdom.”  You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this.  You are weakening your woman’s trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don’t?

Monday, December 19, 2016

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

4851.  There is always something more that you can do . . . always.  There is always a way to get better.  You will never, ever, rest if you want to be the very best at what you do;
4852.  If you’re not doing what you should be doing, you’re literally wasting your life at this very moment;
4853.  Think of one thing you want to do tomorrow that you don’t have the courage to do.  You know what it is.  Go out and do it.  Just know that every moment that you don’t, a piece of life passes you forever and you will never get it back;
4854.  What “settling” really boils down to is fear.  Fear that you won’t find anyone better, fear that you’ll never find another girl like her;
4855.  If you want the best in life, you have to feel that you deserve the best in life;
4856.  It’s a lot easier to hear phone calls outside when you use earphones (especially when it’s windy);
4857.  In the White House garden, there’s a plant bed named after Thomas Jefferson with lettuce, Brussel sprouts, beets, kale and artichoke plants grown from seeds that have been passed down from plants Jefferson planted at Monticello;
4858.  Logic will take you from A to Z.  Imagination will get you everywhere;
4859.  If love and joy are what you want to give and receive then remember that you can’t give away what you don’t have, but you can change your life by changing what’s inside if you’re willing to go that extra mile;
4860.  Your thoughts create your reality because your thoughts determine how you respond to situations in your daily life.  Those responses are the energy you have inside of you to give away.  If you feel anger, it’s because you have anger energy in your body.  Like everything in our universe, your thoughts are a form of energy.  Everything that you feel and experience is the result of “attractor” energies.  This means that you get back what you put out into the world.  Thus, what you’ve attracted to you is what you have to give away to others;
4861.  Low energy attracts low energy.  Some of the low energy thoughts are anger, hate, shame, guilt and fear.  Not only do they weaken you, but they attract more of the same.  By changing your inner thoughts to the higher frequencies of love, harmony, kindness, peace and joy, you’ll attract more of the same and you’ll have those higher energies to give away.  These higher and faster frequencies that empower you will automatically nullify and dissipate the lower energies in the same way that the presence of light makes darkness disappear;
4862.  By becoming more loving toward yourself, you will attract more of the higher, faster energies and begin to change what’s inside of you.  In your thoughts, cultivate an inner voice and attitude that’s 100 percent of the time for you.  Imagine an aspect of yourself that only supports and loves you.  You might schedule a certain time of the day when that’s the only thought that you allow yourself to pay attention to.  Gradually, this attitude will extend to other people even if you can only do it for a minute or two.  You’ll begin to receive this energy back and ultimately be able to send thoughts of love and joy to everyone and everything in your world.  Notice when your thoughts drift into the lower energy of ridicule, hate or guilt, and change the thought at that very moment if at all possible.  If you’re unable to change the thought, then at least love yourself for what you did do – that is, for noticing;
4863.  Make a pact to remind yourself often of this secret of not being able to give away anything you don’t have.  Then work on your personal program of self-love, self-respect and self-empowerment, and create a huge inventory of what you wish to give away;
4864.  The universe responds with the same energy that we send out.  If you attract a lot of people who wish to take advantage of you, you need to consider what you’re doing to attract victimizers into your life.  If you run into anger a lot, explore the angry thoughts you have inside of you.  If your consciousness is a “Gimme!  Gimme!  Gimme!” energy, you’ll attract all manner of demanding energies into your life.  You know if this is true by the number of deadlines not being met, demanding bosses or customers you encounter, and the feeling of being a victim.  Send out “Gimme!  Gimme!  Gimme!” energy to the universe and it will do the same in return;
4865.  If what you give is self-respect and self-love, the universe will return the love and respect you’ve been radiating.  You can’t give away what you don’t have;
4866.  Not failing is the only way to really fail in life.  You don’t become successful without having a slew of failures in your tracks;
4867.  You aren’t going to magically become successful without trying . . . without taking action . . . and especially without failing a few times.  Because failure goes hand in hand with success.  So if you want something, don’t think about.  Don’t dream about it.  And don’t fantasize about it.  That won’t get you anywhere.  And neither will avoiding failure like the plague.  Instead, get out there right now and do something;
4868.  Write down what your motivation in life is.  Why do you want a girlfriend or want confidence, etc.?  Open up a blank page, or a note on your phone, or anything that you have next to you and just write as much as you can down.  Now(, this is the hard part), look at what you wrote.  Then distill it down to one word or one sentence.  Your phrase can be anything, but just think of one.  Then, take an index card or anything that is thicker than a regular piece of paper and write it down.  Then put it in your wallet, right next to one of your credit cards, preferably, the one you use the most.  The hope is that you’ll see it every so often and remind yourself to get off your ass and do something;
4869.  It is impossible to be successful while secretly planning on failure;
4870.  If you want different outcomes, ask yourself different questions;
4871.  If you want something – and I mean really want something – then you need to do whatever it takes to make it happen.  No matter how impossible it seems.  No matter how much time it takes.  No matter how hard it is.  Block out the voices in the back of your head telling you it’s “too insane” and go for it anyway;
4872.  If effectiveness is doing the right things, efficiency is doing things right;
4873.  It doesn’t really make sense to measure ourselves in comparison with other immeasurable beings.  In fact, we are what we are; we are not how well we happen to perform at a given moment.  The grade on a report card may measure an ability in arithmetic, but it doesn’t measure the person’s value;
4874.  It is true that competition for many is merely an arena for venting aggression; it is taken as a proving ground for establishing who is stronger, tougher or smarter.  Each imagines that by beating the other s/he has in some way established her/his superiority over her/him, not just in a game, but as a woman/man.  What is seldom recognized is that the need to prove that you are better than someone else is based on insecurity and self-doubt.  Only to the extent that one is unsure about who and what s/he is does s/he need to prove herself/himself to herself/himself or to others;
4875.  The more challenging the obstacle s/he faces, the greater the opportunity for the surfer to discover and extend her/his true potential.  The potential may have always been within her/him, but until it is manifested in action, it remains a secret hidden from herself/himself.  The obstacles are a very necessary ingredient to this process of self-discovery;
4876.  Winning is overcoming obstacles to reach a goal, but the value in winning is only as great as the value of the goal reached.  Reaching the goal itself may not be as valuable as the experience that can come in making a supreme effort to overcome the obstacles involved.  The process can be more rewarding than the victory itself;
4877.  True competition is identical with true cooperation.  Each player tries her/his hardest to defeat the other, but in this use of competition it isn’t the other person we are defeating; it is simply a matter of overcoming the obstacles s/he presents.  In true competition, no person is defeated.  Both players benefit by their efforts to overcome the obstacles presented by the other;
4878.  When I’m concerned only about winning, I’m caring about something that I can’t wholly control.  Whether I win or lose the external game is a result of my opponent’s skill and effort as well as my own.  When one is emotionally attached to results that s/he can’t control, s/he tends to become anxious and then try too hard.  But one can control the effort s/he puts into winning.  One can always do the best s/he can at any given moment.  Since it is impossible to feel anxiety about an event that one can control, the mere awareness that you are using maximum effort to win each point will carry you past the problem of anxiety.  As a result, the energy which would otherwise have gone into the anxiety and its consequences can then be utilized in one’s effort to win the point.  In this way one’s chances of winning the outer game are maximized;
4879.  Learning to welcome obstacles in competition automatically increases one’s ability to find advantage in all the difficulties one meets in the course of one’s life.  Hence, every inner gain applies immediately and automatically to the full range of one’s activities;
4880.  One U.S. dollar is worth 1.34 Canadian dollars (in October of 2016);
4881.  Apparently, Canadians don’t differentiate condominiums from apartments;
4882.  If you’re a (Wayne) Gretzky fan or a(n ice) hockey fan in general, go to “Wayne Gretzky’s” (Gretzkys.com) in (downtown) Toronto(, Ontario), it’s like a museum (in there);
4883.  Appropriately, “Wayne Gretzky’s” is (located) at “99” Blue Jays Way;
4884.  Tim Hortons (TimHortons.com) is like a cross between Burger King and Dunkin’ Donuts;
4885.  Tim Hortons chili is pretty good.  It’s better than Wendy’s (chili).  It might be my favorite fast food chili;
4886.  Tim Hortons is everywhere in Canada (. . . at least in London, Ontario);
4887.  With a few exceptions, you can only buy alcohol at L.C.B.O. in Ontario;
4888.  I can say I’ve ridden a mechanical bull;
4889.  Riding a mechanical bull (really) hurts your hands;
4890.  Apparently, riding a mechanical bull is all about grip strength;
4891.  I met Dale Hunter (the former captain and head coach of the Washington Capitals) at “The Bull & Barrel Urban Saloon” (London.BullAndBarrel.com) in London(, Ontario);
4892.  Apparently, you can be too drunk to ride a mechanical bull( . . . just ask Matilda);
4893.  Sara (Worth) has an Austrian background;
4894.  (You should) take your belt off when she’s not looking;
4895.  They provide complimentary refreshments (i.e., beverages & snacks) at Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport (i.e., Toronto Island Airport);
4896.  Porter Airlines (FlyPorter.com) provides complimentary beer, wine and snacks on their flights;
4897.  I (still) need to work on keeping my head up;
4898.  A high triglyceride count and low H.D.L. (i.e., high-density lipoprotein) is a sign of an increased risk of heart disease;
4899.  Don’t compare your backstage to everyone else’s front stage;
4900.  The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel;