Thursday, September 14, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

5801.  If before dropping off to sleep you are assailed by worry, distress or fear, do not stay in bed.  Get up, turn on the lights, take a few deep breaths, read from a spiritual text, meditate for a few moments in front of a white candle, say a prayer – do anything other than staying there lying down.  You cannot defend yourself against these onslaughts while remaining snug in your bed.  If distressing feelings come back when you return to bed, get up, turn on the lights and try something else.  When you finally do feel peaceful back in bed, repeat your loving “I ams” and drift off to sleep ready to have your ears opened and your instructions sealed;
5802.  I am peaceful.  I am content.  I am love.  I am writing.  I am the governing power of the universe and I attract only to myself those who are in alignment with my highest ideals of myself;
5803.  August 26th 2017 is the 20th anniversary of the release of (the album) “Vegas” from “The Crystal Method;”
5804.  Caramel corn rice cakes are tasty;
5805.  Your thoughts usually follow your emotions;
5806.  Stories are made up;
5807.  Life is interconnected.  If you win at work, but fail in life’s other domains, you won’t be able to maintain that success.  Eventually, the bill comes due, and it’ll cost you your relationships, your health and more;
5808.  In times of crisis, we think we need leaders who are bold, confident and self-assured.  But this is completely wrongheaded.  What we really need are leaders who are humble and willing to listen;
5809.  The answers we get are often determined by the questions that we ask.  If we ask bad questions for the situation, we’re likely to get bad answers.  But if we ask better questions – empowering questions – we might get better answers;
5810.  Seven questions you can ask yourself when things head south: 1.  What does this make possible?  This helps to reorient you to look for new possibilities in the midst of troubles; 2.  What if it’s not the end, but a new beginning?  This helps to drag you out of that notion that you’re stuck.  Maybe if you look at it from a “new beginning” point of view, you can see something you missed; 3.  What if the answer is just over the next hill?  This question (and the next two) help to lengthen your time horizon.  You may not see the solution now, but how often has that been true before in your life?  Over time, you tend to work things out; 4.  What if I need this to prepare me for the next chapter?  Troubles often lead to changes in our lives.  We change jobs, shift careers and reevaluate things.  Maybe instead of asking “Why?” you should be asking “What should come next?” 5.  What will I tell my grandchildren about this?  This question adds an additional layer and helps to really pull you out of your “stuck” mental space.  It presupposes not only that you are going to get over this, but that you’re going to learn from it and distill lessons for future generations; 6.  What if God knows exactly what I need?  This question helps to reorient you spiritually.  It can help to consider that, even if we don’t quite get it yet, maybe God does; and 7.  What if God’s speaking to me in these troubles and blessing me?  This question helps to focus us on the blessings that can come from going through adversity;
5811.  Thirteen surefire ways to frustrate your hardworking employees: 1.  Be unresponsive.  Let their e-mails languish in your inbox.  Don’t return their voicemails in a timely fashion.  Let them wait for weeks; 2.  Cancel meetings at the last minute.  This is especially effective if they had to travel to the meeting or had to do a lot of preparation.  It’s a great way to show them that their time doesn’t matter; 3.  Yell at them in front of their peers.  This is even more dramatic if you can do it in front of their subordinates.  Nothing quite says, “I don’t have any confidence in you,” like public ridicule.  4.  Change your mind frequently.  This works best if you can get everyone excited about moving in a new direction.  Get them to invest lots of time, energy and money, and then suddenly change direction.  Bonus points if you don’t explain your rationale and leave them guessing; 5.  Don’t state your expectations.  Be vague.  Go silent.  Let them wonder.  When it comes time for their annual review, hold them accountable to specific goals that they should have guessed.  This way you can make them feel like a failure no matter how much they accomplish; 6.  Ask for things you know they don’t have.  If they present a summary, say, “Where’s the backup for this?  You don’t expect me to make a decision without the details, do you?”  If they present the details, say, “Do you have a summary?  You don’t expect me to wade through all these details, do you?”  Either way, keep them off balance; 7.  Focus on superficial things, ignore substance.  Log how much time they actually spend at their desk or in the office rather than evaluating what they actually accomplish.  Pay attention to their style and the way they dress.  These are way more important than the quality of their work.  Plus, they either have it or don’t; 8.  Micromanage.  Insist that they keep you informed of every step of the way on things you assign to them.  Second-guess their decisions.  Challenge their thinking.  Question every expense.  Give no slack.  They should spend more time answering your inquiries than getting any work done; 9.  Do all of the talking.  You’re the boss, right?  You got that job by being smarter, funnier and more experienced than the next guy.  Your subordinates need to shut up and listen to you – and take notes; 10.  Never praise them.  Take them for granted.  You are paying them to work for you.  When they do a great job, brush by it and give them a tougher assignment.  Keep raising the bar.  You don’t want them getting a “big head;” 11.  Catch them doing something wrong.  Be quick to trumpet their mistakes.  If you can do it in public, so much the better.  If they’re not perpetually discouraged, frankly, you are not trying hard enough; 12.  Remind them you are the fountain of all wisdom.  The only valid ideas are your ideas.  If you want their opinion, you’ll give it to them.  Find ways to explain why their ideas won’t work, unless you say them in your words; and 13.  Be moody.  A mercurial boss keeps everyone off balance.  Sometimes, you should be charming.  Other times, be angry.  But never let them know why.  Keep them wondering if it’s them or something else.  You want your people asking your assistant for a “weather report” before they meet with you.  “Is Bill in a good mood today or stormy?”  This will give them just enough hope to stay in the game, but ensure that they also stay frustrated, dreading each time they come into contact with you;
5812.  If you don’t want to frustrate and degrade your employees, all you have to do is start by inverting these suggestions:  Be responsive.  Clearly state your expectations.  Catch them doing something right, etc.;
5813.  S/he who needs the other person the least is in control of the relationship;
5814.  Put yourself in the position where you don’t need the other person as badly as they need you;
5815.  How do you do that?  Three suggestions: 1.  Be aloof at first.  Never fall in love with something you are trying to acquire – at least not at first.  Be a little aloof.  Don’t get emotionally attached.  Kick the tires; 2.  Don’t get too eager.  In negotiations, the first person to name a number usually loses.  So let the other person go first and pace your responses to theirs.  If they take 24 hours to respond, set your clock for tomorrow at this time; and 3.  Give yourself options.  This is important.  The more options you have, the more you will believe you don’t need any particular offer.  For example, if you want to sell a car at the best price?  Get multiple offers for it.  It will change your negotiating posture and put you in a position of strength;
5816.  4 ways to leverage positive expectations: 1.  Believe the best about people.  This may take a leap of faith, but it’s one that usually pays off.  Don’t look for every flaw in people.  Look for strengths, even hidden ones, that you can help build up;. 2.  See them as bigger than they are.  People usually think they’re less than they are.  So you have to over-dial it just to get them to see what they are capable of.  They sell themselves short.  You need to see them as good, long-term investments instead; 3.  Make your thinking visible.  Spell out your expectations when necessary.  Tell them you expect them to do the best they can.  When they fall short, you can draw them back to this vision of their best self; and 4.  Assume others will do it better than you could.  You may be very good at some things, but you’re not great at everything.  Don’t let your competence in a few areas lead to the sort of arrogance that lets you dismiss the best efforts of others.  They can do amazing things with a little positive reinforcement;
5817.  We usually get what we expect from others, whether we communicate those expectations directly or indirectly.  If we want to bring out the best in others, we must intentionally communicate the kind of expectations that will put them in the frame of mind to succeed;
5818.  (I know that hurt you.  )I’m sorry( for. . . ).  I was wrong.  Will you please forgive me?
5819.  “I’m sorry.”  Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes and feel what they feel.  This is something we need to develop.  It takes humility.  Too often, we are preoccupied with our own feelings.  Empathy is the recognition that it’s not all about us.  Other people matter.  They have feelings, too, and those feelings are important.  By saying we are sorry – sincerely and with authentic humility – we validate them as human beings.  We are essentially saying, “I know you are hurt and I understand.  Your feelings are valid and I am sorry that I am the cause of them.  I’m not sorry because I got caught or because you called me out.  I’m sorry because of the hurt that I caused you;”
5820.  “I was wrong.”  This is the most difficult sentence of all.  Perhaps we live with the mistaken notion that we never do anything wrong.  Or perhaps we just think the other person should “give us a pass” because somehow we deserve it.  The truth is we all make mistakes.  If we are not guilty of sins of commission (i.e., deliberately doing something that offends others), we are guilty of sins of omission (i.e., failing to do what we ought and thereby offending others).  Religion can help prime the pump here.  One of the great things about being a Christian is being released from the need to pretend you are perfect.  We are sinners and we need forgiveness – from God and from the people we offend;
5821.  “Will you please forgive me?”  This is one of the most powerful sentences we can ever utter.  By phrasing this as a question, we acknowledge that forgiveness is not an entitlement.  We don’t deserve forgiveness.  We are asking for their mercy and forbearance.  This also acknowledges that it is a choice on the part of the other person.  They may withhold their forgiveness.  Perhaps they are not ready to make up.  They may need some space.  Yet, almost always the other person says, “I forgive you.”  With this simple sentence both of you are healed;
5822.  Focus on four ingredients in any job candidate (H3S): 1.  Humility: A humble person has a good sense of self, including a realistic grip on her/his strengths and weaknesses.  S/he makes other people feel smart and confident and is teachable.  S/he doesn’t gloat over her/his wins or downplays her/his mistakes.  S/he sees what needs to be done, pitches in and is excited playing her/his part on the team; 2.  Honesty: An honest person does not lie, exaggerate or misrepresent the facts.  S/he gives you “the good, the bad and the ugly” and owns her/her part.  You can bank on her/him keeping her/his commitments, even when it’s difficult, expensive or inconvenient to her/him; 3.  Hungry: A hungry person is driven to exceed whatever expectations are set for her/him.  Emboldened by a growth mindset, s/he’s always reaching for more and setting higher goals.  S/he relentlessly pursues the best solution and embraces change if it can take her/him or the company to a new level; and 4.  Smart: A smart person usually scores high on traditional IQ tests, but not always.  Some people are book-smart, but street-stupid.  A smart person is a quick study.  S/he can “connect the dots” without a lot of help.  S/he can think laterally and apply what s/he knows in one area to another.  S/he knows how to make complex subjects simple.  S/he asks thoughtful questions and is always eager to learn;
5823.  Meditation reduces anxiety.  Meditation tends to reduce the inner chatter that contributes to our anxiety.  Even short periods of meditation have delivered lasting benefits for people with anxiety disorders and would likely benefit those of us who just suffer from regular jitters;
5824.  Meditation boosts your focus and attention.  Both of these things are in short supply these days and are in danger of fragmentation from multitasking and social media.  Fortunately, researchers have found that “mindfulness training” likely improves “attention-related behavioral responses” by boosting our ability to focus;
5825.  Researchers had expected to find maybe a slight uptick in gray matter in select areas of our brains among folks who regularly meditate.  Instead, they are finding “significantly larger gray matter volumes” all over the place;
5826.  After just four days of meditation, one study found the unpleasantness and intensity of pain were reduced by 57 and 40 percent, respectively;
5827.  In 1994, a pair of researchers, named Joseph Raffiee and Jie Feng, set out to measure the success rate of business owners who stayed at their day jobs and started a business on the side versus those who quit their jobs to jump straight into full-time entrepreneurship.  For fourteen years, they followed the trajectories of five thousand American entrepreneurs and what they discovered was surprising.  The more cautious entrepreneurs, who did not quit their jobs, were 33 percent more likely to succeed, whereas the “risk-takers” were far more likely to fail.  In other words, it doesn’t pay to bet big;
5828.  It turns out that in the real world, the tortoise beats the hare.  Slow and steady really does win the race.  Whether you’re launching a dream, writing a book or getting into shape, most significant change starts with a step, not a leap;
5829.  Success always begins in the mind;
5830.  Frequent small steps beat occasional big leaps every time;
5831.  The first step to launching a big dream is just that, a step, not a leap.  Small changes over time lead to massive transformation.  You can do extraordinary things when you are patiently persistent;
5832.  One reason why diversification is so critical is that it protects us from a natural human tendency to stick with whatever we feel we know.  Once a person is comfortable with the idea that a particular approach works – or that s/he understands it well – it’s tempting to become a one-trick pony.  As a result, many people end up investing too heavily in one specific area;
5833.  It’s almost certain that whatever asset class you’re going to put your money in, there will come a day when you will lose 50-70%;
5834.  Individual investors can diversify by owning low-cost index funds that invest in six “really important” asset classes: 1.  U.S. stocks; 2.  International stocks; 3.  Emerging-market stocks; 4.  Real estate investment trusts (REITs); 5.  Long-term U.S. Treasuries; and 6.  Treasury inflation-protected securities (TIPS);
5835.  The holy grail of investing is to have 15 or more good – they don’t have to be great – uncorrelated bets;
5836.  Everything comes down to owning an array of attractive assets that don’t move in tandem;
5837.  According to Ray Dalio, by owning 15 uncorrelated investments, you can reduce your overall risk by about 80% and you’ll increase the return-to-risk ratio by a factor of five.  So your return is five times greater by reducing that risk;
5838.  Deciding on the right balance of stocks, bonds and alternatives is the most important investment decision you’ll ever make.  Whatever mix you choose, make sure you diversify globally across multiple asset classes;
5839.  Never bet your future on one country or one asset class;
5840.  Use index funds for the core of your portfolio.  For maximum diversification, you want exposure to stocks of all sizes: large-cap, midcap, small-cap and microcap;
5841.  You never want to be in a position where you’re forced to sell your stock market investments at the worst moment.  So it makes sense to maintain a financial cushion, if at all possible.  Make sure to have an appropriate amount of income-producing investments such as bonds, REITs, MLPs and dividend-paying stocks.  Also, diversify broadly within these asset classes: for example, invest in government, muni and corporate bonds;
5842.  The core of your portfolio is invested in index funds that simply match the market’s return.  But at the margins, it can make sense to explore additional strategies that offer a reasonable chance of outperformance.  For example, a wealthy investor might add a high-risk, high-return investment in a private equity fund;
5843.  Unsuccessful investors tend to buy the thing that’s gone up and sell the thing that’s gone down.  Rebalancing makes you do the opposite, forcing you to buy assets when they’re out of favor and undervalued;
5844.  There’s no need to fear market corrections and bear markets.  They provide the best opportunity to buy the bargains of a lifetime so you can leapfrog to a whole new level of wealth;
5845.  What counts is not reality, but rather our beliefs about it;
5846.  Beliefs are nothing but feelings of absolute certainty governing our behavior;
5847.  Beliefs can be the most powerful force for creating good, but our beliefs can also limit our choices and hamstring our actions severely;
5848.  It’s not enough to know what to do.  You also need to do what you know;
5849.  “Confirmation bias” is the human tendency to seek out and value information that confirms our own preconceptions and beliefs.  This tendency also leads us to avoid, undervalue or disregard any information that conflicts with our beliefs;
5850.  The “endowment effect” places greater value on something you already own regardless of its objective value.  This makes it much harder to part ways and buy something superior;

Monday, August 28, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

5751.  To get to a true sense of wonder, we have to let go of expectation;
5752.  To get to peace, we have to let go of control;
5753.  To receive the gifts our heart and soul truly desire, we have to let go of what we “think” we want;
5754.  In order to ascend to the next level of knowledge, we have to let go of what we already know;
5755.  As we ascend to greater levels of mastery, our humility and awe with respect to the power of the universe also grows.  More and more, it is revealed to us how little we actually “know” and how little our preconceived ideas really serve us;
5756.  July 21st is Michael Fitzgerald’s (the lead singer of “Fitz and The Tantrums”) birthday;
5757.  Apparently, Ryan Tedder (the lead singer of “OneRepublic”) has a lot of relatives (living) in Virginia (i.e., Roanoke, Hopewell, Richmond, etc.);
5758.  The past is just a story we tell ourselves;
5759.  Everyone has problems.  The only people, who don’t have problems, are in cemeteries;
5760.  Problems are a sign of life;
5761.  Tolerance of intolerance is cowardice;
5762.  “The Chainsmokers” aren’t very good live;
5763.  Even the most accomplished and successful people have problems. . . . They get their hearts broken (too). . . . At the end of the day, we’re all human;
5764.  “Tritonal” is pretty good;
5765.  Apparently, if you have a TAM (i.e., Techniques of Alcohol Management) card, you can get into (Las) Vegas clubs for free Sunday through Wednesday;
5766.  Apparently, I have a loving energy;
5767.  The person who takes a job in order to live – that is to say, for the money and not for purpose or passion, has turned himself into a slave;
5768.  Don’t make out for more than three seconds at the club and, at most, only two make outs.  (You) don’t (want to) release all of the sexual tension;
5769.  The best lap dance I’ve ever had (by far) was from a redhead, named Blaze (stage name, “Chili”) (from Boise, Idaho) at Sapphire (SapphireLasVegas.com) in (Las) Vegas;
5770.  Apparently, you’re supposed to tip 25% for lap dances;
5771.  Sapphire charges $6.00 for a credit card payment;
5772.  Irish girls expect you to buy them drinks when you talk to them.  I’m guessing it’s their drinking culture;
5773.  It’s (a lot) cheaper to get club tickets in advance (in Vegas) than (it is) at the door;
5774.  Robin Schulz is pretty good (too);
5775.  Owen Cook (i.e., Tyler Durden) is (a lot more) stockier than I thought;
5776.  A woman farting in bed is not attractive/sexy;
5777.  Apparently, Jeremy Long (i.e., the porn actor) lives in (Las) Vegas;
5778.  Some girls like to be bitten on the neck;
5779.  Some girls like anal;
5780.  You must be 21 to serve alcohol in a restaurant, bar or casino in Nevada;
5781.  Nevada puts no time restrictions on serving alcohol.  It’s typically sold all day (long);
5782.  Where do you find tall, slim, swimsuit model looking blondes in (Las) Vegas?  The answer is: Working the TAM training center (front) desk on Saturday mornings;
5783.  A key fact to understand about the mind is that whatever story you decide to pick, your mind will make you believe that it’s true.  It’s how the mind works that’s making you feel that way, not what’s actually happening.  We all have this thing called confirmation bias which dictates that however we want to look at the world our brain will make us believe that we are seeing the truth.  Our mind will actively filter out information that disagrees with our beliefs and our story;
5784.  Whatever story you told yourself about the event is going to dictate your emotions;
5785.  Emotions are designed to evoke motion.  They move us and motivate us and your mind uses them as rapid response fuel to do things;
5786.  Shamans can be attractive.  Who knew?
5787.  Jordana is rather attractive;
5788.  “Breathe, feel, heal;”
5789.  “Show me what I’m too afraid to see;”
5790.  Ayahuasca is ten times as potent as LSD;
5791.  Ayahuasca can change your life;
5792.  AndrĂ© and Jordana are really good, loving people;
5793.  Eating a frozen grape has a similar feel to eating a Popsicle;
5794.  Ayahuasca won’t work if your mind won’t let go;
5795.  Jordana has soft hands;
5796.  Ayahuasca ceremonies can be a shit show . . . literally;
5797.  Thai (yoga) massage is amazing.  I can’t remember the last time I felt so loose/relaxed;
5798.  Old people have (verbal) fights too;
5799.  Don’t confuse fashion with style and sex with love;
5800.  As you lie in bed preparing for your nightly sleep, remember that the last thought you have in your mind can last up to four hours in your subconscious mind.  That’s four hours of programming from just one moment of contemplation prior to going into your unconscious state.  Create a reminder like a prayer or mantra to place by your bed.  Write these words and read them as you get comfortable: I am going to use these moments to review what I intend to manifest into my life.  Keep that sign there to remind you how to spend your pre-sleep moments nightly;

Sunday, August 20, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

5701.  Depending on the people you’re around, depending on the social hierarchy and the status of all the people, you may want to be very quiet and just listen or you may want to be very up-tempo and try and create energy.  Match and follow those around you and find the zone of “just right;”
5702.  Thinking that you can get people to communicate with you without going to them first is like going to France and expecting everyone in France to speak English;
5703.  If you take five minutes before you meet someone to really think about what they value, how they communicate and how you can serve them, everything will change because you’re actually putting in thought and work into how you’re communicating rather than thinking that because you can speak you’re somehow a master communicator;
5704.  When you have a quick trigger for stress, you reduce the quality of your life and everything in it;
5705.  It doesn’t matter how good things are going externally if your emotional home is fragmented and stressed;
5706.  Every single emotion that you have in your life is a choice.  Once you’re aware of an emotion, you’re officially holding on to it;
5707.  Once you’re aware of an emotion, you are in complete control of your emotions at any given moment of your day.  You may not be in control of how they trigger, but once you are feeling an emotion and you’re aware of it.  It is in your power to change;
5708.  Meaning and events only have the significance that you ascribe to them;
5709.  Your emotions are the quality of your life and if anyone in the world can affect them in a negative way then you are not in control of your life and you are going to live a stressful experience;
5710.  You’re not getting stressed because of what’s happening in the world, at a deeper level, you’re getting stressed because you’re not in control.  All you need to do is to take ownership of your emotions and, in doing so, you can set yourself free;
5711.  Without leverage, you will remain stuck because you’re already leveraged in your current position.  You must have reasons, whether you’re aware of them or not, to continue doing your current behavior or it would have changed already.  Until you have a reason more powerful than what’s keeping you here, you’re going to stay exactly where you are;
5712.  There is no change without action and action only comes from a reason to do it;
5713.  Stop focusing on the how.  There is an unlimited amount of how and a how that works for you may not work for someone else.  Instead, focus on the why;
5714.  Leverage gives you the permission you need to keep trying all the different “hows” with everything you’ve got until you find a way through.  Commitment is building a total and ruthless focus on something that will allow you to plug the endless amount of answers that you could use into your life and actually start the experiment to find which one of them is going to work the most effective way;
5715.  Mastering leverage is about understanding that the human brain at all times is craving pleasure and avoiding pain.  Everything that you do in your life is at some level avoiding pain and about seeking pleasure;
5716.  The reason that you haven’t changed is that your brain thinks it’s more painful to change than it is to stay where you are;
5717.  Leverage is finding a reason to create change in your life where staying where you are, your current model of the world, your current reality and your current habits are more painful than changing;
5718.  A way to create leverage is to show your mind the real consequences of your actions if you fail to make a change;
5719.  Anything that you find important and care about you can tie to leverage to make change;
5720.  When I’m old and gray, what will I regret more?  Going after my dreams or settling for what I already have?
5721.  The key area for growth is recognizing that it doesn’t have to be certain.  You don’t have to have the perfect answer.  It just has to be good enough;
5722.  If you’re scared of failure or the rejection you may encounter from trying something new, acknowledge it.  Get comfortable with that fear.  We’re all truly fearful of failing at things that are important to us.  But you need to give yourself permission to feel that fear and go for it;
5723.  If you just feel the fear and run away then you’re never going to move forward;
5724.  Most of the time, it’s the expectations that we’ve set for ourselves that keep us locked down on a specific way we think we should be living our lives.  We’re afraid to make changes (that we know deep down in our hearts that we need to change) because we are looking for certainty that our changes will be the “right” ones;
5725.  You’ll never be sure about the outcomes of anything unless you actually take the actions to try and experience it for yourself;
5726.  The easiest way to get you to do anything is to create some fear or pain for you to run away from;
5727.  Respect is how to treat everyone not just those you want to impress;
5728.  It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love.  This is how the whole scheme of things works.  All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get;
5729.  It’s not in chasing happiness that we find it, but by practicing gratitude and compassion, which makes us feel deeply connected and fulfilled, which is what really makes us happy;
5730.  While empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes – to understand their situation and share their feelings – compassion is the concern and pity for their plight.  It’s the ability to feel their pain and to want to soothe it – just as you would want to soothe that pain if it were your own;
5731.  If we are compassionate towards others, it can help us to have a greater appreciation and gratitude for our own blessings in life.  For instance, when we empathize with someone who is sick, it helps us to appreciate the great blessing of our own health.  And if we have a strong sense of appreciation and gratitude in our own life, it can, in turn, help us to have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion towards others because a strong gratitude practice puts us in a mental position of resiliency that can fortify our ability to empathize;
5732.  Because of the way the brain works, the quickest way to greater happiness is not by chasing happiness itself.  Instead, it’s by cultivating and actively practicing gratitude and compassion in our lives;
5733.  In today’s world, there are many, who are willing to die for their religion, but no one is willing to live according to their religion’s principles;
5734.  It’s not in constantly chasing the things that we think we want that leads to a sense of “enoughness.”  It is rather the practice of gratitude for what we already have that makes our life feel full;
5735.  It’s not seeking love and acceptance from others that makes us feel valued (and validated).  Instead, it is instead practicing empathy and compassion for others that makes us feel truly connected;
5736.  Everything is temporary.  Your good times are temporary and your bad times are temporary.  So when you’re up, enjoy it, bask in it and be grateful for it.  And when you’re down, know you will get through it.  Know that it’s not the end and that it’s just a rough patch.  Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and surprises;
5737.  It’s about the journey not the destination.  There is a lesson in everything.  Recognizing the full worth of your hardships and your blunders is key to appreciating the journey;
5738.  More often than not, we tend to worry about what’s to come or dwell on something that’s already happened.  While it’s crucial to care and consider your future, be careful not to let it hinder your present.  Moments turn into memories.  Enjoy the moment while you have it;
5739.  Worrying isn’t productive.  Living in the past is equally unproductive;
5740.  Your work is a considerably large aspect in your life that you dedicate yourself to.  If you aren’t happy in your career, that unhappiness will seep into other aspects of your life.  And while nothing is perfect, it’s important to work on yourself and position yourself to reach the goals and satisfactions you desire;
5741.  Invest in yourself.  This goes for your non-work life too.  What habits and hobbies do you want to stop?  Which ones do you want to develop?  It’s important to be conscious of the type of people and activities you surround yourself with.  Information is like nutrients to your brain, be aware of what you are feeding yourself;
5742.  Success isn’t one triumphant moment.  Success is a series of moments (and choices) leading up to bigger moments;
5743.  You are the only person who can get in the way of living every day doing what you love;
5744.  What’s money?  A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do;
5745.  The happiest people tend to be the ones who’ve worked the most on themselves.  Being happy takes a lot of work.  It’s just as much work, if not more, to be unhappy.  So choose wisely;
5746.  Being happy means at some point you decided to take control of your life.  It means you decided to not be a victim and to put that energy back into yourself.  Sometimes it’s hard, but you have to pull yourself up and push yourself forward;
5747.  Your lifetime is a series of developments and personal growth;
5748.  One of the worst things you can do for self-development is comparing yourself to other people.  It’s easy to get caught up in jealousy and wanting what other people have.  Especially with the way we interact with social media.  You have to remember that people tend to show only the best parts of their lives on those platforms.  It’s not fair to yourself when you see that and think, “I want to do that” or “I want to look like that.”  Not only does that distract you from being appreciative of what you have in our own life, it doesn’t provide any productive input to yourself.  Most often, your perception of someone’s life is a fallacy.  And even if it isn’t, focus on yourself.  It’s your journey and your path that you should be concerned with;
5749.  Being happy takes practice.  Whether it’s you learning to let go of your ego or forming more self-loving habits, it takes practice;
5750.  You only have one life, work as hard as you can to make it your best life;

Monday, August 7, 2017

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious):

5651.  We accept the love we think we deserve;
5652.  We can’t choose where we come from, but we can choose where we go from there;
5653.  Your goal should not be to be better than anyone else, your goal should be to be better than you used to be;
5654.  Even religious girls like sex;
5655.  What’s so amazing about being right?  Is it really the greatest feeling in the world?  Would you really rather be right than be connected and loving with the people around you?  Would you rather be right than have someone in tears thanking you for how much you changed their life?  Would you really rather be right than do something for someone else that lights them up?  You wouldn’t;
5656.  If you’re focusing on being right, you’re not learning and you’re not connecting.  So come from the heart and not from the head, commit to letting this go and all will change in a matter of weeks;
5657.  If we risk nothing, we risk everything;
5658.  People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.  You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.  Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?  You’d distance yourself and you should do the same with complainers.  A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem.  They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction;
5659.  When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness;
5660.  When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.
5661.  While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt.  That way, no matter what (toxic) people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within;
5662.  Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain, you’re never as good or bad as they say you are;
5663.  Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state.  When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress.  When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress;
5664.  Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget.  Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on.  It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance;
5665.  There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (i.e., the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it.  Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating.  It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of.  You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs;
5666.  Drinking apple cider vinegar (i.e., one capful in a glass of water) will whiten your teeth;
5667.  Drinking apple cider vinegar will (also) get rid of bad breath;
5568.  “Treacle” is the British term for molasses;
5669.  Regardless of how challenging something is, it’s always our reaction to it that will dictate how much it is going to impact our lives.  You decide how much and for how long, getting cut off on the highway is going to piss you off and you decide how much someone’s poor opinion of you is going to make you shell up in insecurity.  Let your natural reactions happen, but then consciously choose how long you want to let them impact everything else;
5670.  You should always have enough money for what matters;
5671.  People are going to hate you no matter what you do.  You can try and people please your entire life, but no matter what, some people are always going to dislike you.  So rather than wasting your time trying to match what you think is the most acceptable, spend that time accepting who you are;
5672.  To unjustly direct blame towards a circumstance or other person may seem relieving, but in the long term it takes its toll.  The less you take responsibility for your actions and decision making, the weaker you become mentally.  Taking responsibility may come with some immediate repercussions, but, over time, it builds a life founded on honesty and it strengthens your ability to tackle challenges when they arise;
5673.  People don’t think of you as much as you think they do.  People are too concerned with themselves to give you as much as attention as you think they are;
5674.  Not even the perfect relationship is going to complete you.  True happiness comes from within and can never be filled in by another.  Relationships are an extension of our happiness and not the basis of it, so focus on strengthening the one with yourself and all of the others will follow;
5675.  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel;
5676.  Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right;
5677.  Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence;
5678.  If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.  If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough;
5679.  Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent;
5680.  To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart;
5681.  Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears;
5682.  Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value;
5683.  You’re not a product of your circumstances.  You’re a product of your decisions;
5684.  The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any;
5685.  A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new;
5686.  When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us;
5687.  The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be;
5688.  The ideal work-to-break ratio is 52 minutes of work, followed by 17 minutes of rest.  People who maintained this schedule had a unique level of focus in their work.  For roughly an hour at a time, they were 100% dedicated to the task they needed to accomplish.  They didn’t check Facebook “real quick” or get distracted by e-mails.  When they felt fatigue (again, after about an hour), they took short breaks, during which they completely separated themselves from their work.  This helped them to dive back in refreshed for another productive hour of work;
5689.  The brain naturally functions in spurts of high energy (i.e., roughly an hour) followed by spurts of low energy (i.e., 15-20 minutes);
5690.  The breaks we take aren’t real breaks (i.e., checking your e-mail and watching YouTube doesn’t recharge you the same way as taking a walk does);
5691.  Breaks such as walking, reading and chatting are the most effective forms of recharging because they take you away from your work;
5692.  It’s far more productive to rest for short periods than it is to keep on working when you’re tired and distracted;
5693.  The next time painful or stressful feelings threaten to overwhelm you, here is what you do: Get something to write with.  Get something to write on.  Write down a word that describes the emotion you’re experiencing.  It doesn’t have to be comprehensive.  Just a word or two will do.  Affect labeling, the act of naming one’s emotional state, helps to blunt the immediate impact of negative feelings and start the process of climbing back down from stress;
5694.  Yes, it’s a risk to switch careers with a mortgage and debt and two kids heading into college.  But which is worse: To take the risk for greatness or to stay in the same job where you know you’re miserable and in a few years you’ll still be miserable and now older to boot?  The first situation risks failure, but what so many people don’t realize is that the second situation guarantees it;
5695.  The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation;
5696.  Discovering what adds meaning to your life will very often add meaning to others’ lives as well.  And the money will follow;
5697.  Traits to embrace to live a fuller and more deeply passionate life include: 1.  An appreciation for beauty; 2.  Sense of purpose; 3.  Resistance to enculturation; 4.  Welcoming the unknown; 5.  High enthusiasm; 6.  Inner-directedness; 7.  Detachment from outcome; 8.  Independence of the good opinion of others; and 9.  An absence of a compelling need to exert control over others;
5698.  Every single person you meet your entire life has a particular window through which you need to communicate with them if you want to communicate with them.  Every single person you meet will have a different sized window that will be constantly changing.  Some people’s window is the size of a postage stamp.  You must communicate with them following their rules, their language and their words or you’re not going to have any real level of communication with them.  Other people’s windows are so big, they’re basically the size of the known universe.  You can communicate with them in any way you want and they will do their absolute best to understand you, respect you, be open to you and generally be a delight to speak to;
5699.  All great communicators have one thing in common.  They are obsessed with finding the boundaries of the other person’s window so they can communicate with the person.  They do not waste time moaning that people are not meeting their window;
5700.  It’s critical to understand that each and every person you meet needs a different language set from you for them to see you as part of the same tribe.  And considering we are all humans, we are all part of the same tribe.  Everyone on the planet has many different sides to their personality and we should aim to create the safest place that we can for communication with other people.  That means making sure that we show people the side of our personality that they can connect with, that they can understand and that they can appreciate;