Monday, December 23, 2013

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0053

2601.  Imagine the ideal you and the ideal scenario.  As long as it’s realistic, hold on to that image and make it happen.  If you prioritize your schedule and schedule your priorities, there’s almost no limit to what you can do.  But you have to make it happen;
2602.  When we eliminate any upward options from our mental maps, and worse, eliminate our motivation to search for them, we end up undermining our ability to tackle the challenge at hand;
2603.  When people feel helpless in one area of life, they not only give up in that one area; they often “overlearn” the lesson and apply it to other situations.  They become convinced that one dead-end path must be proof that all possible paths are dead ends;
2604.  Learned helplessness is endemic in inner city schools, prisons, and elsewhere;
2605.  When people don’t believe there is a way up, they have virtually no choice but to stay as down as they are;
2606.  When some people meet adversity, they simply stop looking for ways to turn failures into opportunities or negatives into positives.  Others—the most successful among us—know that it’s not the adversity itself, but what we do with it that determines our fate;
2607.  Just as personal crises can provide the foundation for positive individual growth, so can economic ones;
2608.  America’s top companies have often used recessions to reevaluate and improve their business practices;
2609.  As Time pointed out way back in 1958, “for every company that slims down its operation, another discovers new ways of doing things that should have been in effect for years but were overlooked during the boom;”
2610.  Economic adversity forces companies to find creative ways to cut costs and inspires management to get back in touch with the employees and operations on the ground floor;
2611.  Passion always trumps excuses;
2612.  The mere presence of passion within you is all you need to fulfill your dreams;
2613.  Passion is a feeling that tells you: This is the right thing to do.  Nothing can stand in my way.  It doesn’t matter what anyone else says.  This feeling is so good that it cannot be ignored.  I’m going to follow my bliss and act upon this glorious sensation of joy;
2614.  Never allow anyone else’s ideas of who you can or can’t become sully your dream or pollute your imagination;
2615.  If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you won’t find it in the opinions or the beliefs that have been handed to you.  Rather than trying to be what everyone else expects you to be, live your life by your own rules to be happy and find inner peace;
2616.  Australians don’t drink Foster’s.  They’d rather drink a Corona . . . or just about anything else;
2617.  A small soda in the U.S. is a large in Australia;
2618.  Watch out for drunk(en) Australian girls, they might head butt you;
2619.  Australian girls have hard heads;
2620.  The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs.  You can’t package stress, touch it or see it.  There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.  That pesky ego is at work when you’re experiencing stress or anxiety.  We speak of stress as if it were present in the world as something that attacks us.  But the stress in your body is rarely the result of external forces or entities attacking you; it’s the result of the weakened connection to Source caused by the belief that ego is who you are.  You are peace and joy, but you’ve allowed your ego to dominate your life;
2621.  Here’s a short list of stress-inducing thoughts that originate in your ego self: It’s more important to be right than to be happy; Winning is the only thing so when you lose, you should be stressed; Your reputation is more important than your relationship with your Source; Success is measured in dollars rather than in feeling happy and content; and Being superior to others is more important than being kind to others;
2622.  You aren’t your work, your accomplishments, your possessions, your home, your family . . . your anything.  You’re a creation of your Source, dressed in a physical human body intended to experience and enjoy life on Earth.  This is the intention that you want to bring to the presence of stress—your personal intention to be tranquil.  Stress and anxiety are choices that we make, ways that we choose to process events.  Each day, we have hundreds of opportunities to shift our thoughts and align with the Source that intended us for lives of joy and peace;
2623.  Maryland Live! Casino (MarylandLiveCasino.com) in Arundel Mills has a pretty good buffet.  It’s $14.99 for lunch (Monday through Saturday) and $17.99 for dinner (Sunday through Thursday) and Sunday champagne brunch;
2624.  Jane and Luisa think I need a bigger bed;
2625.  Don’t piss off Rashmi when she’s drunk. . . . Your (left) pinky will never be the same;
2626.  The Moulin Rouge was the first integrated hotel casino in Las Vegas . . . and (in) the U.S.;
2627.  Maurice Hines (i.e., the tap dancer and older brother of Gregory Hines) is almost 70;
2628.  A study published in “Evolution & Human Behavior” by Sarah Hill, a psychologist at the University of Texas, Austin, shows that people of both sexes reckon the sexual competition they face is stronger than it really is.  Dr. Hill showed heterosexual men and women photographs of people.  She asked them to rate both how attractive those of their own sex would be to the opposite sex and how attractive the members of the opposite sex were.  She then compared the scores for the former with the scores for the latter, seen from the other side.  Men thought that the men they were shown were more attractive to the women than they really were and women thought the same of the women;
2629.  When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that it’s simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with.  It’s only when we’re thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves;
2630.  As soon as you start blaming people, you’re missing the point.  Focus on yourself;
2631.  You are what you do;
2632.  See anything you want to change about yourself?  That’s where you start;
2633.  Taking care of yourself on the outside helps on the inside;
2634.  You are not the moral conscience of the world.  No one cares about your strongly held negative opinions of the guy down the street.  Drop it and try to do something positive with your day;
2635.  Negativity isn’t sexy or a rational response to the world.  You’re closer to death one day at a time.  Enjoy your time – it’s the one resource (unlike money, etc.) that’s not replenishable;
2636.  The “Mango & Lime” peri peri sauce at Nando’s Peri-Peri (NandosPeriPeri.com) is pretty tasty;
2637.  If you’re going to Nando’s Peri-Peri with a friend, consider splitting the “Full Platter.”  For $24.95, you’ll get twice the amount of food (i.e., two legs and thighs, two breasts and wings and two large sides that’ll feed four) for just a little (bit) more (money) than you’d spend getting two legs and thighs or two breasts and wings with two sides each (i.e., $17.70 and $18.70, respectively);
2638.  Emotions from one source can be transferred (i.e., misattributed) to another source;
2639.  Emotions have two parts: Physiological (i.e., in the body); and Cognitive (i.e., in the mind);
2640.  The shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald (by Jack Ruby) was the first live broadcast of a murder on TV;
2641.  If you like Asian fusion, The Source (WolfgangPuck.com/Restaurants/Fine-Dining/3941) in D.C. has a really good Saturday dim sum brunch from 11:30 AM to 3:00 PM. . . . The noodle and salad dishes give you the most food;
2642.  A(ccording to Starbucks, a) “Caffè Americano” is (a shot of) espresso (diluted) with hot water. . . . A “Caffè/espresso macchiato” is (a shot of) espresso with steamed milk foam. . . . And a “Caffè latte” is (a shot of) espresso in steamed milk, (lightly) topped with foam;
2643.  With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift.  Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing.  You get to choose;
2644.  Everything in this physical universe of ours is in some way connected to everything else.  When we attempt to isolate anything, we find that it is in some way part of everything else in the universe.  Just as it is absurd for a single wave to see itself as separate from the ocean, so it is for any of us not to recognize our oneness with all creation;
2645.  No one is capable of making you upset without your consent, so if you begin practicing the intention to be authentic and peaceful with everyone, you connect to peace itself–and gain the power to change the energy of your relationships with family and friends;
2646.  In order to change the nature of family relationships, you’ll have to change your mind about them and consider that you are the source of the anguish in your relationships, rather than the individual whom you’ve pegged as the most outrageous, the most despicable, or the most infuriating.  Over the years, all of these individuals have been treating you exactly as you’ve allowed them to with your reactions and behaviors.  This can miraculously change when you choose to be at peace with everyone in your life–most particularly, your relatives;
2647.  If the focus of your inner dialogue about your family members is on what they're doing that's wrong, then that’s precisely how your relationship with them will be experienced.  If your inner speech centers on what’s annoying about them, that’s what you'll notice.  But if you're thinking, I am authentic and peaceful with this relative, then that’s what you’ll experience–even if that relative continues to be exactly the way he or she has always been;
2648.  The key to having peace in all your family relationships is forgiveness.  Your relatives are simply doing what they’ve been taught to do over a lifetime and the lifetimes of many of their ancestors.  Shower them with understanding and forgiveness from your heart.  Rather than being in a state of non-peace concerning any family members, say a prayer of gratitude for their presence in your life and all that they have come to teach you;
2649.  If you don’t love yourself, nobody else will.  Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else.  Loving starts with the self;
2650.  Notice each day whether you are choosing to live in fear or love.  Fear can keep you disconnected from the loving presence inside of you;

Monday, December 9, 2013

Zagat's 5 Best Burgers in D.C. Metro

1.  Ray's Hell Burger
2.  Black & Orange
3.  Five Guys
4.  Thunder Burger & Bar
5.  Good Stuff Eatery

Monday, November 4, 2013

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0052

2551.  Things do not necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best out of things that happen;
2552.  The most successful people see adversity not as a stumbling block, but as a stepping-stone to greatness;
2553.  Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly;
2554.  Many venture capitalists will only hire managers who have already experienced their share of business flops.  A spotless résumé is not nearly as promising as one that showcases defeat and growth;
2555.  In his book The Pursuit of Perfect, Tal Ben-Shahar writes that “we can only learn to deal with failure by actually experiencing failure, by living through it.  The earlier we face difficulties and drawbacks, the better prepared we are to deal with the inevitable obstacles along our path;”
2556.  In one experiment where 90 people went through a software training program, half were taught to prevent errors from occurring, while the other half were guided into mistakes during training.  The group encouraged to make errors not only exhibited greater feelings of self-efficacy, but because they had learned to figure their own way out of mistakes, they were also far faster and more accurate in how they used the software later on;
2557.  When we fail, or when life delivers us a shock, we can become so hopeless that we respond by simply giving up;
2558.  Tibetan monks eat granola bars . . . and (roasted, unshelled) peanuts;
2559.  I can say I’ve had a cheesesteak in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania . . . albeit it was in the airport;
2560.  Karl Storchmann, a clinical professor of economics at New York University and the managing editor of the Journal of Wine Economics, claims that wines prominently labeled as “organic” in the U.S. are underpriced.  (He says) Europe is the opposite;
2561.  I know someone whose friends with Armin van Buuren;
2562.  Brazilians use a lot of rock salt to barbeque picanha (i.e., the rump cap of a cow);
2563.  Mission first, people always;
2564.  Lard fried (buttermilk) chicken has a distinctive (and kind of strange) taste to it;
2565.  “Patrón” in Spanish means “boss;”
2566.  The Patrón distillery in Mexico runs twenty-four hours a day seven days a week;
2567.  The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was designed by a then 20 year-old, Chinese American undergraduate (student) at Yale (University), named Maya Lin;
2568.  Honey and lemon (“tea”) is pretty tasty;
2569.  Apparently, I went to school (i.e., college) with Peyton Manning’s wife, Ashley;
2570.  On Mondays, Murphy’s Irish Pub has all you can eat (barbeque pork) ribs for $14.95 from 5 o’clock to 9 o’clock;
2571.  When you talk too much — when you give too many details, too much information — you’re lying;
2572.  Apparently, the Second Lady (i.e., Dr. Jill Biden) is a fan of Malcolm Gladwell;
2573.  Malcolm Gladwell used to write for “The Washington Post;”
2574.  Goliath (as in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible) may have been blind;
2575.  Malcolm Gladwell is a Canadian, who won’t remember your face (i.e., prosopagnosia), is a glutton for punishment (i.e., a Buffalo Bills fan), who wishes he could write like Michael Lewis and who loves his sleep (i.e., about nine hours a night);
2576.  I can say that I’ve been to a book signing with the Second Lady;
2577.  Secret Service agents are kind of dicks, but I guess you have to be if you work (in) security;
2578.  The crowd at a “Nine Inch Nails” concert is (a lot) more normal than I thought it’d be;
2579.  (The band) “Godspeed You! Black Emperor” sounds like an angrier version of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” soundtrack;
2580.  Go within, discover your invisible higher self, and know God as the love that is within you;
2581.  Seedless watermelons are allowed by the U.S. Standards for Grades of Watermelons to contain up to 10 seeds;
2582.  Apparently, you can eat as much candy as you want as long as you rinse the sugar off your teeth (afterwards) by drinking water . . . at least that’s what a dental assistant told me;
2583.  “FWB” means “friends with benefits,” not “favorite white boy” . . . duh;
2584.  Sonoma and Napa are both known for wine production, but they’re in different (although neighboring) places (i.e., valleys) in California;
2585.  The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness.  Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities that hurt us the most as children;
2586.  A man knows what he wants and goes for it.  A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really.  He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, he doesn’t exert much effort to get it.  A boy is passive.  A man is assertive;
2587.  A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life.  He has put thought into his values.  A boy has not established his moral compass or values and, consequently, is often inconsistent;
2588.  A man has integrity.  He means what he says and says what he means.  He follows through and acts on his promises.  And if he can’t (follow through and act), he has the guts to tell you why.  A boy makes promises, but doesn’t follow through on them;
2589.  A man is afraid of rejection, but will put himself out there anyway.  A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passively so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up;
2590.  Shiben Bhattacharya (i.e., Matt Nathanson’s touring bassist) likes to smoke and take pictures of the (front of the) venue before shows;
2591.  Joshua Radin gives out wristbands for meet-and-greets for buying merch(andise) so he can meet his fans and not be overwhelmed . . . not because he wants to sell more merch(andise) . . . so he says;
2592.  “Fine Champagne” cognac is made with at least 50% Grande Champagne eaux de vie and the rest Petite Champagne eaux de vie;
2593.  Cognac is like Scotch/whiskey except (it’s) made with grapes;
2594.  I’ve been told that some barrels of Rémy Martin could buy you several Mercedes-Benzes;
2595.  Cognac is brandy;
2596.  Luisa is really into Georgetown (men’s) basketball;
2597.  If you like traditional, Irish(, instrumental) music, Daniel O’Connell’s Restaurant (DanielOConnells.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria has a live band playing on Monday nights;
2598.  Think about for 5 minutes what your life will be like in 5, 10 and 20 years if you don’t change anything.  Then write it down as descriptively as possible.  Think about for another 5 minutes how you want your life to look like in 5, 10 and 20 years.  Then write down the changes you’ll need to make to get there – and how you’re going to make those changes;
2599.  You are in charge of your life.  If you don’t set a direction, you’ll drift to wherever you end up;
2600.  Most people spend more time and care planning their vacations than they spend planning their lives;

Monday, October 21, 2013

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0051

2501.  Even the way we describe seemingly straightforward tasks can make a difference in how people perform;
2502.  What we expect from people (and from ourselves) manifests itself in the words we use, and those words can have a powerful effect on end results;
2503.  The Pygmalion Effect: when our belief in another person’s potential brings that potential to life;
2504.  The expectations we have about our children, coworkers, spouses—whether or not they are ever voiced—can make that expectation a reality;
2505.  Theory X holds that people work because you pay them, and that if you don’t watch them they will stop working.  Theory Y holds the opposite: that people work for intrinsic motives, that they work harder and better when not being ordered around, and that they do it for the satisfaction they receive from good work.  Managers who believe Theory X turn out to have workers who need constant supervision, while managers who hold to Theory Y have employees who work for the love of the job.  Turns out that no matter what their motivations might have been before working for these managers, employees typically become the kind of worker their manager expects them to be;
2506.  While it’s important to shift our fulcrum to a more positive mindset, we don’t want to shift it too far—in other words, we have to be careful not to have unrealistic expectations about our potential;
2507.  We want to push the limits of possibility as far as they can go, not limit them in the way too many discouraging bosses, parents, teachers, or media stories tell us they should be limited;
2508.  As science has shown, when we believe we can do more and achieve more (or when others believe it for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more;
2509.  Stop thinking of the world as fixed when reality is, in truth, relative;
2510.  In the work world, as in our personal lives, we are often rewarded for noticing the problems that need solving, the stresses that need managing, and the injustices that need righting.  The problem is that if we get stuck in only that pattern, always looking for and picking up on the negative, even a paradise can become a hell;
2511.  The better we get at scanning for the negative, the more we miss out on the positive—those things in life that bring us greater happiness, and in turn fuel our success;
2512.  Constantly scanning the world for the negative comes with a great cost.  It undercuts our creativity, raises our stress levels, and lowers our motivation and ability to accomplish goals;
2513.  Lawyers are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from major depressive disorder than the rest of the employed population;
2514.  Trained to be on the lookout for the flaws in every argument, the holes in every case, lawyers start to overestimate the significance and permanence of the problems they encounter, the fastest route to depression and anxiety—which in turn interferes with their ability to do their job;
2515.  Scientists estimate that we remember only one of every 100 pieces of information we receive; the rest effectively gets filtered out.  If we have programmed our brain’s filter to delete the positive, that data will cease to exist for us;
2516.  “Inattentional blindness” is our frequent inability to see what is often right in front of us if we’re not focusing directly on it.  This aspect of human biology means that we can miss an astoundingly large number of things that might be considered “obvious;”
2517.  Repeated studies have shown that two people can view the same situation and actually see different things, depending on what they are expecting to see.  It’s not just that they come away with different interpretations of the same event, but that they have actually seen different things in their visual field;
2518.  When our brains constantly scan for and focus on the positive, we profit from three of the most important tools available to us: happiness, gratitude, and optimism;
2519.  The more you pick up on the positive around you, the better you’ll feel;
2520.  The more opportunities for positivity we see, the more grateful we become;
2521.  Psychologist Robert Emmons, who has spent nearly his entire career studying gratitude, has found that few things in life are as integral to our well-being;
2522.  Consistently grateful people are more energetic, emotionally intelligent, forgiving, and less likely to be depressed, anxious, or lonely;
2523.  Gratitude has proven to be a significant cause of positive outcomes.  When researchers pick random volunteers and train them to be more grateful over a period of a few weeks, they become happier and more optimistic, feel more socially connected, enjoy better quality sleep, and even experience fewer headaches than control groups;
2524.  The more your brain picks up on the positive, the more you’ll expect this trend to continue, and so the more optimistic you’ll be;
2525.  Studies have shown that optimists set more goals (and more difficult goals) than pessimists, and put more effect into attaining those goals, stay more engaged in the face of difficulty, and rise above obstacles more easily;
2526.  Optimists also cope better in high stress situations and are better able to maintain high levels of well-being during times of hardship;
2527.  It turns out that there is no such thing—in a scientific sense, at least—as luck.  The only difference (and it is a big one) is whether or not people think that they are lucky—in essence, whether they expect good or bad things to happen to them;
2528.  Sixty-nine percent of high school and college students report that their career decisions depended on chance encounters.  The difference between people who capitalize on these chances and those who watch them pass by (or miss them entirely) is all a matter of focus.  When someone is stuck in a Negative Tetris Effect, his brain is quite literally incapable of seeing these opportunities.  But armed with positivity, the brain stays open to possibility;
2529.  Priming yourself to expect a favorable outcome actually encodes your brain to recognize the outcome when it does in fact arise;
2530.  Imagine a typical paper-pushing office.  The objective reality of the physical place will always be the same: walls, carpet, stapler, computer.  But, as with everything else, how we see that space is up to us.  Some people will view the environment as constricting, confining, and depressing; others will see it as energizing and empowering.  In other words, to some, it’s an office; to others a prison cell;
2531.  Training your brain to notice more opportunities takes practice focusing on the positive.  The best way to kick-start this is to start making a daily list of the good things in your job, your career, and your life;
2532.  When you write down a list of “three good things” that happened that day, your brain will be forced to scan the last 24 hours for potential positives—things that brought small or large laughs, feelings of accomplishment at work, a strengthened connection with family, a glimmer of hope for the future.  In just five minutes a day, this trains the brain to become more skilled at noticing and focusing on possibilities for personal and professional growth, and seizing opportunities to act on them.  At the same time, because we can only focus on so much at once, our brains push out those small annoyances and frustrations that used to loom large into the background, even out of our visual field entirely;
2533.  One study found that participants who wrote down three good things each day for a week were happier and less depressed at the one-month, three-month, and six-month follow-ups.  Even after stopping the exercise, they remained significantly happier and showed higher levels of optimism;
2534.  The items you write down each day don’t need to be profound or complicated, only specific;
2535.  A variation on the Three Good Things exercise is to write a short journal entry about a positive experience;
2536.  In one experiment, researchers Chad Burton and Laura King, instructed people to write about a positive experience for 20 minutes three times a week and then compared them to a control group who wrote about neutral topics.  Not only did the first group experience larger spikes in happiness, but three months later they even had fewer symptoms of illness;
2537.  The best way to ensure follow-through on a desired activity is to make it a habit;
2538.  Looking at the world through a lens that completely filters out all negatives comes with its own problems.  That’s why I like to offer a slightly revised version of the metaphor: rose-tinted glasses.  As the name implies, rose-tinted glasses let the really major problems into our field of vision, while still keeping our focus largely on the positive;
2539.  The key is not to completely shut out all the bad, all the time, but to have a reasonable, realistic, healthy sense of optimism.  The ideal mindset isn’t heedless of risk, but it does give priority to the good.  Not just because that makes us happier but because that is precisely what creates more good;
2540.  Focusing on the good isn’t just about overcoming our inner grump to see the glass half full.  It’s about opening our minds to the ideas and opportunities that will help us be more productive, effective, and successful at work and in life;
2541.  The most successful decision come when we are thinking clearly and creatively enough to recognize all the paths available to us, and accurately predict where that path will lead.  The problem is that when we are stressed or in crisis, many people miss the most important path of all: the path up;
2542.  On every mental map after crisis or adversity, there are three mental paths.  One that keeps circling around where you currently are (i.e., the negative event creates no change; you end where you start).  Another mental path leads you toward further negative consequences (i.e., you are far worse off after the negative event; this path is why we are afraid of conflict and challenge).  And one, which I call the Third Path, that leads us from failure or setback to a place where we are even stronger and more capable than before the fall;
2543.  In a crisis, economic or otherwise, we tend to form incomplete mental maps, and ironically the path we have trouble seeing is often the most positive, productive one.  In fact, when we feel helpless and hopeless, we stop believing such a path even exits—so we don’t even bother to look for it.  But this is the very path we should be looking for;
2544.  Study after study shows that if we are able to conceive of a failure as an opportunity for growth, we are all the more likely to experience that growth.  Conversely, if we conceive of a fall as the worst thing in the world, it becomes just that;
2545.  We are not imprisoned by our circumstances, our setbacks, our history, our mistakes, or even staggering defeats along the way.  We are freed by our choices;
2546.  By scanning our mental map for positive opportunities, and by rejecting the belief that every down in life leads us only further downward, we give ourselves the greatest power possible: the ability to move up not despite the setbacks, but because of them;
2547.  Great suffering or trauma can actually lead to great positive change across a wide range of experiences.  After trauma, people also report enhanced personal strength and self-confidence, as well as a heightened appreciation for, and a greater intimacy in, their social relationships.  Of course, this isn’t true for everybody.  There are a number of mechanisms involved, but not surprisingly, mindset takes center stage;
2548.  The strategies that most often lead to Adversarial Growth include positive reinterpretation of the situation or event, optimism, acceptance, and coping mechanisms that include focusing on the problem head-on (rather than trying to avoid or deny it);
2549.  It appears that it is not the type of event per se that influences posttraumatic growth, but rather the subjective experience of the event.  In other words, the people who can most successfully get themselves up off the mat are those who define themselves not by what has happened to them, but by what they can make out of what has happened.  These are the people who actually use adversity to find the path forward;
2550.  Every setback comes some opportunity for growth that we can teach ourselves to see and take advantage of;

Monday, October 14, 2013

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0050

2451.  I think our (personal) insecurities can fuel our imaginations to come up with the worst possible outcome to a situation when the reality is nowhere nearly as bad;
2452.  I think our (own) perception of ourselves is (probably) different from how others view us.  The reality is probably somewhere in the middle.  We’re not as skilled as we fancy ourselves to be, but (at the same time) we’re also not as bad as others believe we are;
2453.  The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny;
2454.  Unaged whiskey is (just) another name for moonshine;
2455.  So you want to see the Seattle skyline, but you don’t want to pay the admission to the Sky View Observatory in the Columbia Center; then try the Starbucks on the 40th floor.  It may have the best view of any Starbucks in the world;
2456.  Red Robin (Gourmet Burgers) (RedRobin.com) was founded in Seattle;
2457.  It’s kind of bizarre seeing an older woman (with glasses and some white hair) sitting on a stoop, drinking a beer and smoking a joint at 2:30 in the afternoon . . . right next door to a men’s shelter;
2458.  To be in the “Blue Angels,” pilots have to be carrier-qualified, active-duty in a Marine or Navy jet squadron and logged a minimum of 1,250 flight hours;
2459.  I’ve bought a homeless man food (McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets and a soda to be exact);
2460.  I’ve given a homeless man a beer;
2461.  There’s Mexican shawarma;
2462.  The Estofado con Pollo (i.e., chicken thigh stewed in tomato, chilies, olives, almonds and raisins served with rice and corn tortillas) at Mezcaleria Oaxaca (MezcaleriaOaxaca.com) in Seattle is really tasty;
2463.  Mezcaleria Oaxaca (in Seattle) has the best tortillas (corn or otherwise) I’ve ever had.  They’re each handmade and grilled fresh;
2464.  Mezcaleria Oaxaca (in Seattle) may be the best Mexican restaurant I’ve ever eaten at;
2465.  Kerry Park has a great view of the Seattle skyline;
2466.  Taco Del Mar (TacoDelMar.com) is kind of a cross between Chipotle and California Tortilla.  You order like Chipotle, but the food tastes (and looks) like California Tortilla;
2467.  (Seattle) Seahawks fans have earned their reputation as the “12th Man.”  They’re really loud.  On game days, you can hear them a ½ mile away from the stadium;
2468.  The giant Pacific octopus is the biggest in the world. . . . It (typically) lives 3-5 years;
2469.  Sea otters have the densest fur in the animal kingdom. . . . And they’re really fast eaters;
2470.  Fur seals have the second densest fur in the animal kingdom;
2471.  I’ve eaten 108 shrimp in one sitting (during Red Lobster’s “Endless Shrimp” promotion);
2472.  The (glass) sculptures at Chihuly Garden & Glass (ChihulyGardenAndGlass.com) are incredible.  If you’re in Seattle, it’s worth a visit;
2473.  When it comes to the environment, Seattle is really progressive.  Besides recycling bins they also have compost bins at (fast food) restaurants and at Safeco Field (i.e., where the Mariners play);
2474.  You should double check your flight time the night before.  That way you won’t be silently imploring the train to go faster and you won’t have to franticly jog through (most of) the (Seattle-Tacoma Airport) parking garage and the entire concourse because (indubitably) your gate is all the way at the other end of the airport;
2475.  Just as our view of work affects our real experience of it, so too does our view of leisure.  If our mindset conceives of free time, hobby time, or family time as non-productive, then we will, in fact, make it a waste of time;
2476.  Allowing ourselves to engage in activities we enjoy can actually greatly enhance our performance at work.  But simply doing them is not enough to get results.  But if you change the fulcrum so that you conceive of such free time as a chance to learn and practice new things, to recharge your batteries and connect with others, you’ll be able to leverage the power of that rest time and return stronger than before;
2477.  The more you believe in your own ability to succeed, the more likely it is that you will;
2478.  Studies show that simply believing we can bring about positive change in our lives increases motivation and job performance; that success, in essence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy;
2479.  One study of 112 entry-level accountants found that those who believed they could accomplish what they set out to do were the ones who ten months later scored the best job performance ratings from their supervisors.  Their belief in their own ability was an even stronger predictor of job performance than the actual level of skill or training they had;
2480.  Our beliefs about our abilities are not necessarily innate, but can change, as our mindset is almost always in flux;
2481.  In a study performed by Margaret Shih and her colleagues at Harvard, a group of Asian women were given similar math tests on two separate occasions.  The first time around, they were primed to think about the fact that they were women, stereotypically worse at math than men.  The second time around, they were told to focus on their identity as Asians, generally thought to be math whizzes compared to other ethnic groups.  The result: The women performed far better in the second situation than they did in the first.  Their math IQs hadn’t changed and neither had the difficulty of the questions.  But in the second instance they believed more in their ability, and this was enough to make a substantive difference in performance;
2482.  If you’re sporting self-doubt, you’ve undercut your performance before you even begin.  So when faced with a difficult task or challenge, give yourself an immediate competitive advantage by focusing on all the reasons you will succeed, rather than fail.  Remind yourself of the relevant skills you have, rather than those you lack.  Think of a time you have been in a similar circumstance in the past and performed well.  Years of research have shown that a specific and concerted focus on your strengths during a difficult task produces the best results;
2483.  This doesn’t mean you should ignore your weaknesses or chant empty affirmations to yourself or take on tasks you can’t handle, it just means to focus on what you are actually good at;
2484.  More important still than believing in your own abilities is believing that you can improve these abilities;
2485.  Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck found that people can be split into two categories: Those with a “fixed mindset” believe that their capabilities are already set, while those with a “growth mindset” believe that they can enhance their basic qualities through effort;
2486.  A growth mindset is not dismissive of innate ability; it merely recognizes that “although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience;
2487.  People with fixed mindsets miss choice opportunities for improvement and consistently underperform, while those with a “growth mindset” watch their abilities move ever upward;
2488.  When we believe there will be a positive payoff for our effort, we work harder instead of succumbing to helplessness;
2489.  Beliefs are so powerful because they dictate our efforts and actions;
2490.  Those who simply believed in their own power to change followed a course of action that maximized their performance.  The others, given the same opportunity, squandered it;
2491.  Once we realize how much our reality depends on how we view it, it comes as less of a surprise that our external circumstances predict only about 10 percent of our total happiness;
2492.  Yale psychologist Amy Wrzesniewski found that employees have one of three “work orientations,” or mindsets about our work.  People with a “job” see work as a Job, a Career, or a Calling.  People with a “job” see work as a chore and their paycheck as the reward.  They work because they have to and constantly look forward to the time they can spend away from their job.  By contrast, people who view their work as a career work not only out of necessity, but also to advance and succeed.  They are invested in their work as an end in itself; their work is fulfilling not because of external rewards but because they feel it contributes to the greater good, draws on their personal strengths, and gives them meaning and purpose.  Unsurprisingly, people with a calling orientation not only find their work more rewarding, but work harder and longer because of it.  And as a result, these are the people who are generally more likely to get ahead;
2493.  Unhappy employees can find ways to improve their work life that don’t involve quitting, changing jobs or careers, or going off to find themselves.  Organizational psychologists call this “job crafting,” but in essence, it involves simply adjusting one’s mindset.  New possibilities open for the meaning of work simply by the way it is constructed by the individual;
2494.  If you can’t make actual changes to your daily work, ask yourself what potential meaning and pleasure already exist in what you do;
2495.  Researchers have found that even the smallest tasks can be imbued with greater meaning when they are connected to personal goals and values.  The more we can align our daily tasks with our personal vision, the more likely we are to see work as a calling;
2496.  Turn a piece of paper horizontally, and on the left hand side write down a task you’re forced to perform at work that feels devoid of meaning.  Then ask yourself: What is the purpose of this task?  What will it accomplish?  Draw an arrow to the right and write this answer down.  If what you wrote still seems unimportant, ask yourself again: What does this result lead to?  Draw another arrow and write this down.  Keep going until you get to a result that is meaningful to you.  In this way, you can connect every small thing you do to the larger picture, to a goal that keeps you motivated and energized;
2497.  Forget about your current job title.  What would our customers call your job title if they described it by the impact on their lives?  When you make these larger connections, your mundane tasks not only become more palatable, but you perform them with far greater dedication, and see greater returns in performance as a result;
2498.  This is not to say that all jobs have equal meaning, but that even a rote or routine task can be meaningful if you find a good reason to be invested.  You feel productive at the end of the day.  You showed people you were smart or efficient.  You made life easier for a client or customer.  You improved your skill set.  You learned from a mistake;
2499.  You can have the best job in the world, but if you can’t find the meaning in it, you won’t enjoy it, whether you are a movie maker or an NFL playmaker;
2500.  When a manager openly expresses his faith in an employee’s skill, he doesn’t just improve mood and motivation; he actually improves their likelihood of succeeding;

Monday, September 9, 2013

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0049

2401.  Apparently, a tangerine is an acceptable substitute for an engagement ring;
2402.  Surprisingly, “Instant Power Hair Clog Remover” works really well;
2403.  How do know someone has bad BO (i.e., body odor)?  The answer is: When you can smell him (when you’re) walking ten feet behind him;
2404.  The secret to cooling down a bottle of wine is to submerge it in ice water.  The temperature will drop faster than if you placed it in the refrigerator or even the freezer.  If you can bring the water temperature below 32 degrees, that’s even better.  The secret, long practiced by restaurants, is to salt the water and periodically spin the submerged bottle.  The wine should be cold in less than twenty minutes. . . . A gel sleeve placed around the bottle in the freezer also works;
2405.  StubHub! sales end two hours before the event;
2406.  Blue lipstick is not a good look on anyone . . . unless you’re a clown;
2407.  Pasilla is a type of (chili) pepper;
2408.  Apparently, Kristin’s idea of dinner is a beer and a doughnut;
2409.  Luisa is a klepto(maniac) for big German beer mugs (particularly the Hofbräu München ones);
2410.  Apparently, Stan (of Stan’s Restaurant in D.C.) is dead;
2411.  If you like electronic dance music, you’ll probably like iHeartEvolution.com;
2412.  Max Collins (the lead singer and bassist for “Eve 6”) is Stephen Collin’s (the actor’s) nephew;
2413.  Life’s a game made for everyone and love is the prize;
2414.  Our “mental construction” – the way we conceive of ourselves – has a direct influence upon the physical aging process;
2415.  Our external “reality” is far more malleable than many of us think, and far more dependent on the eyes through which we view it.  With the right mindset, our power to dictate this reality – and in turn the results of our actions – increases exponentially;
2416.  What feels like the blink of an eye to some can feel like an eternity to others.  Depending on their mindset, each person experiences the objective reality of time differently;
2417.  Psychology has shown that mindset doesn’t just change how we feel about an experience – it actually changes the objective results of that experience;
2418.  Placebos are about 55 percent to 60 percent as effective as most active medications like aspirin and codeine for controlling pain.  The simple change in mindset – i.e., a belief that they are taking an actual drug – is powerful enough to make the objective symptom actually disappear;
2419.  The brain is organized to act on what we predict will happen next, something psychologists call “Expectant Theory.”  Dr. Marcel Kinsbourne, a neuroscientist at the New School for Social Research in New York, explains that our expectations create brain patterns that can be just as real as those created by events in the real world;
2420.  The expectation of an event causes the same complex set of neurons to fire as though the event were actually taking place, triggering a cascade of events in the nervous system that leads to a whole host of real physical consequences;
2421.  The mental construction of our daily activities, more than the activity itself, defines our reality;
2422.  When we reconnect ourselves with the pleasure of the “means,” as opposed to only focusing on the “ends,” we adopt a mindset more conducive not only to enjoyment, but to better results;
2423.  The oxtail “vaccinara” at Palena in D.C. is really good.  Ask for some bread to sop up the leftover sauce;
2424.  There’s not a lot to see at the zoo (specifically the Smithsonian National Zoo) an hour before it closes;
2425.  Don’t be someone else, but do be the best version of yourself;
2426.  On Thursday nights during football season from 4 o’clock until close, Flat Iron Steak & Saloon (FlatIronKingStreet.com) in (Old Town) Alexandria has “mug” night.  For $6.00, you get a plastic mug (that you can keep) and a draft beer.  Refills are $3.00 after that.  At the next “mug” night, you can bring back your mug and you don’t have to buy another one;
2427.  Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy;
2428.  Luisa’s an Audrey Hepburn fan;
2429.  Hannibal (i.e., George Peppard from “The A-Team”) is in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s;”
2430.  Luisa has a (serious) sweet tooth;
2431.  Ted’s Bulletin (TedsBulletin.com) in D.C. isn’t a bad place for dessert;
2432.  Apparently, Kristin only likes sweet drinks;
2433.  If you’re a vegetarian/vegan, you might want to visit VegDC.com.  It lists vegetarian/vegan restaurants, groceries and bakeries in the D.C. area;
2434.  Elena Delle Donne (of the Chicago Sky) is rather attractive. . . . She’s also a pretty good basketball player;
2435.  Casey Phillips (the digital correspondent for the Monumental Network) is rather attractive. . . . She looks great in a dress;
2436.  The WNBA has (actually) been around sixteen years. . . . Who knew?
2437.  Karl Alzner (of the Washington Capitals) hasn’t made his wife, Mandy, paint the house yet (so he says);
2438.  Apparently, congressmen eat at Bobby Van’s Grill (BobbyVans.com/NY-Ave.html) in D.C.;
2439.  A “Pittsburgh-style” steak is a steak that’s been heated to a very high temperature very quickly, so it’s charred on the outside, but still rare (or raw) on the inside;
2440.  People will rarely remember what you tell them, but they will always remember how you made them feel;
2441.  Weak people prey on weak people;
2442.  There are times when people must stand their ground.  Pick your battles wisely, but don’t initiate any unwarranted hate;
2443.  “Success” is a voyage, not an “x” on a map;
2444.  You can’t teach happiness, per se, but you can teach perspective and let her/him see that the situation s/he is born into is unique and the things s/he is accustomed to are not everyone’s reality;
2445.  Matt(hew) Shultz (the lead singer of “Cage the Elephant”) on stage kind of reminds me of Mick Jagger;
2446.  When I’m at a Muse concert, I feel like I’m some sort of resistance fighter in a crucial attack against “Big Brother” in some not too distant Orwellian future;
2447.  Aged tequila kind of tastes like Scotch/whisky;
2448.  Change her mood, not her mind.  You will never seduce a woman with facts and logic;
2449.  Luisa “loves” sushi;
2450.  Don’t clap with a (nearly) full beer in your hand (especially if you’re sitting down);

Monday, August 26, 2013

What I’ve learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0048

2351.  The Washington Monument is the tallest stone structure in the world;
2352.  The tacos at Taqueria Nacional (TaqueriaNational.com) in D.C. are tasty;
2353.  The 9:30 Club’s “Friends With Benefits” program (Friends.930.com) has some nice perks . . . like access to the VIP deck at Merriweather Post Pavilion;
2354.  Tiffany nicked “I Think We’re Alone Now” from Tommy James & the Shondells;
2355.  Another name for the Norton (variety of) grape is Cynthiana;
2356.  It’s crucial to establish good habits.  Positive momentum breeds positive momentum.  Negative momentum just creates more;
2357.  You must stop saying negative things to yourself.  Every time you do, you’ll believe it a little bit more – and you will act more that way;
2358.  You can’t stop your mind from coming up with things, but you can tell your mind what is unwelcome.  As soon as you hear negative self-talk, change the conversation;
2359.  Managers at the Honi-Honi Bar (Honi-Honi.com) in Deep Creek Lake, Maryland, don’t like it when you bring your own booze onto the premises;
2360.  Deep Creek Lake is manmade;
2361.  There are no natural lakes in Maryland;
2362.  Cake slowly burns in a campfire;
2363.  It’s pretty fun peeing on a campfire. . . . It’s a lot more fun than I thought. . . . It’s like playing firefighter;
2364.  The only thing you need is a driver’s license to get a temporary boating license (at least in Maryland);
2365.  I can say I’ve piloted a motorboat;
2366.  When (you’re) piloting a boat under a bridge, go under the green light;
2367.  The “up/down” switch (i.e., trim switch) on a boat’s throttle raises and lowers the prop;
2368.  (Leftover) bacon grease burns great in a campfire;
2369.  (Raw) bacon burns pretty well in a campfire;
2370.  It takes a long time to cook bacon over a campfire . . . and it isn’t very good;
2371.  Sticks of butter burn pretty well in a campfire too;
2372.  (Greasy) pepperoni burns great in a campfire too;
2373.  You’d think that popcorn thrown into a fire would pop, it doesn’t;
2374.  A slightly damp (bath) towel works great for cleaning your laptop;
2375.  Physical activity can boost mood and enhance our work performance in a number of ways by improving motivation and feelings of mastery, reducing stress and anxiety, and helping us get into flow – that “locked in” feeling of total engagement that we usually get when we’re at our most productive;
2376.  One study proved just how powerful exercise can be: Three groups of depressed patients were assigned to different coping strategies – one group took antidepressant medication, one group exercised for 45 minutes three times a week, and one group did a combination of both.  After four months, all three groups experienced similar improvements in happiness.  The very fact that exercise proved just as helpful as antidepressants is remarkable, but the story doesn’t end there.  The groups were then tested six months later to assess their relapse rate.  Of those who had taken the medication alone, 38 percent had slipped back into depression.  Those in the combination group were doing only slightly better, with a 31 percent relapse rate.  The biggest shock, though, came from the exercise group: Their relapse rate was only 9 percent!
2377.  Contrary to the popular saying, money can buy happiness, but only if used to do things as opposed to simply have things;
2378.  In his book Luxury Fever, Robert Frank explains that while the positive feelings we get from material objects are frustratingly fleeting, spending money on experiences, especially ones with other people, produces positive emotions that are both more meaningful and more lasting;
2379.  When researchers interviewed more than 150 people about their recent purchases, they found that money spent on activities – such as concerts and group dinners out – brought far more pleasure than material purchases like shoes, televisions, or expensive watches;
2380.  Spending money on other people, called “prosocial spending,” also boosts happiness.  In one experiment, 46 students were given $20 to spend.  The ones who were told to spend the money on others (for instance, by treating a friend to lunch, buying a toy for a younger sister, or donating to charity) were happier at the end of the day than the ones who had been instructed to spend the money on themselves;
2381.  Everyone is good at something – perhaps you give excellent advice, or you’re great with little kids, or you whip up a mean batch of blueberry pancakes.  Each time we use a skill, whatever it is, we experience a burst of positivity.  If you find yourself in need of a happiness boost, revisit a talent you haven’t used in a while;
2382.  When 577 volunteers were encouraged to pick one of their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed than control groups.  And these benefits lasted: Even after the experiment was over, their levels of happiness remained heightened a full six months later;
2383.  Studies have shown that the more you use your signature strengths in daily life, the happier you become;
2384.  Even the smallest moments of positivity in the workplace can enhance efficiency, motivation, creativity, and productivity;
2385.  One study found that project teams with encouraging managers performed 31 percent better than teams whose managers were less positive and less open with praise;
2386.  When recognition is specific and deliberately delivered, it is even more motivating than money;
2387.  Just as important as what you say to employees is how you say it – the best leaders know that delivering instructions in an angry, negative tone handicaps their employees before the task is even underway;
2388.  The more you make a genuine effort to avoid slipping into an apathetic or irritable tone, the more your team’s performance will benefit;
2389.  In the U.S. Navy, researchers found, annual prizes for efficiency and preparedness are far more frequently awarded to squadrons whose commanding officers are openly encouraging.  On the other hand, the squadrons receiving the lowest marks in performance are generally led by commanders with a negative, controlling, and aloof demeanor;
2390.  Gravlax is pretty much lox;
2391.  Based on Marcial Losada’s extensive mathematical modeling, 2.9013 is the ratio of positive to negative interactions necessary to make a corporate team successful.  This means that it takes about three positive comments, experiences, or expressions to fend off the languishing effects of one negative.  Dip below this tipping point, now known as the Losada Line, and workplace performance quickly suffers.  Rise above it – ideally, the research shows, to a ratio of 6 to 1 – and teams produce their very best work;
2392.  Our brains are like single processors capable of devoting only a finite amount of resources to experiencing the world.  Because our brain’s resources are limited, we are left with a choice: to use those finite resources to see only pain, negativity, stress, and uncertainty, or to use those resources to look at things through a lens of gratitude, hope, resilience, optimism, and meaning.  In other words, while we of course can’t change reality through sheer force of will alone, we can use our brain to change how we process the world, and that in turn changes how we react to it;
2393.  Happiness is not about lying to ourselves, or turning a blind eye to the negative, but about adjusting our brain so that we see the ways to rise above our circumstances;
2394.  “Reality” is merely our brain’s relative understanding of the world based on where and how we are observing it.  Most important, we can change this perspective at any moment, and by doing so change our experience of the world around us;
2395.  Sometimes you can mistake comfort for actual compatibility with another person;
2396.  Similarities strengthen relationships – the more a couple has in common, the less they have to fight about.  And this is particularly true when it comes to shared values, since they are at the root of most of our thought patterns and decisions;
2397.  It’s funny how lightning can be so destructive, yet so beautiful;
2398.  Luisa isn’t a vegetarian during Restaurant Week;
2399.  Nicklas Backstrom (of the Washington Capitals) may’ve grown a couple of inches (since 2009);
2400.  Luisa’s no longer a “Free For All” virgin;