5001. Don’t
pester your friends with your problems.
That’s not productive advice-seeking; it’s pointless whining;
5002. The plain
truth is that most people don’t want workable advice from certified mentors,
who will propel them to the next level.
They want commiseration, comfort, understanding and justification for
why they’re stuck;
5003. What many
people really want when they solicit advice is not advice at all, but rather
validation that they’re right;
5004. We say we
need help getting outside of our box, but what we really want is for people to
crawl into our box, relate to us and share our pain. The only people qualified and able to get you
out of your box are those who refuse to crawl inside with you. Friends will cozy up with you inside your
box. True mentors won’t;
5005. People
will solicit advice. They won’t like
what they hear because it clashes with their preconceived notions. So they’ll justify not following it by
labeling it “negative;”
5006.
Legitimate mentors will tell you things you don’t want to hear. It will feel like they’re insensitive to your
pain while they tear your dream apart.
But all they’re doing is revealing the same pitfalls they fell into
along your same path;
5007. Within
minutes, the right mentor can analyze your situation and tell you exactly what
you’re doing wrong and how to fix it.
They’re not being negative or insensitive; they’re being realistic from
hard-earned experience;
5008. Sometimes
change isn’t comfortable and sometimes neither is growth, but you can’t get
anywhere in life without taking action;
5009. Financial
risk is in the investor, not the investment.
Mitigate risk by increasing your knowledge;
5010. A woman often
seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and
purpose. She tests him to feel his
freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of
complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him
or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman’s testing
is going to end and his life will get easier.
Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength,
integrity and openness. Her desire is
for his deepest truth and love. As he
grows, so will her testing;
5011. Every
moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your
woman, only doubly so. Not only is her
simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy
is testing you and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge;
5012. It never
ends. This is the secret. Finding a different woman won’t get you out
of it. Therapy won’t get you out of
it. Financial or sexual mastery won’t
get you out of it. Your woman is testing
you because she loves you. She wants to
feel your truth. She wants to feel your
love. And she wants to feel that your
truth and love are stronger than the barbs she can throw at you. Then she can relax and surrender into the
polarity of man and woman. Then she can
trust you;
5013. The most
loving women are the women who will test you the most. They want you to be your fullest, most
magnificent self;
5014. “Keeping
your word” is a masculine trait in men or women. A person with a feminine essence may not keep
his/her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.”
In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions
and the shifting moods of relationship.
When she says, “I hate you,” “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t
want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient
feeling-wave than a well-considered stance with respect to events and
experience. On the other hand, the
masculine means what it says. A man’s
word is his honor. The feminine says
what it feels. A woman’s word is her
true expression in the moment;
5015. When you
listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the ocean or the wind in the
leaves. The sounds you hear from her are
sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy.
Of course, there are times when she speaks in the masculine style of
meaning exactly what she says, but, more often and almost always in emotional
moments, what she says is the sound of her feelings. Her feminine speech is far more like poetry
than like a clear cut agenda for action.
In an emotional moment, what she says she is going to do is actually an
expression of what she feels like doing in the moment. Her feelings and, therefore, what she is
actually going to do, could change in five minutes. It could change every five minutes;
5016. The basic
rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless
love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it. And even then, know that she is probably
talking about her current feelings not necessarily about the subject of
whatever she is talking about. Never
base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do unless she is in the full
flow of love when she says it. And then
expect her to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change. Remember that a woman’s feelings may be more
sensitive to an unseen realm of nature than are yours. Try to differentiate between your woman’s
shifting moods and her sensitive wisdom;
5017. Women are
not liars although they often seem that way to men. This is why a man must ultimately be
responsible for making his own decisions based on the deepest truth he can
fathom. Otherwise, if he bends his
course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing expressions,
he will probably end up blaming her;
5018. You
should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth carefully. Then, after you have fully considered her
input, make your best possible decision from your own deep core. This way, if your woman subsequently changes
her mind, you won’t resent her for compromising your path;
5019. When you
get a letter from the I.R.S., first notice the color of the envelope. If it’s brown, fear not, the I.R.S. has sent
you a check, but if it’s white, you may be the subject of an audit;
5020. How to
handle an audit: 1. Never talk to the
I.R.S. yourself, let your C.P.A. do it; 2.
Don’t give any more information than the I.R.S. requires; and 3. Be nice to your I.R.S. auditor;
5021. There are
two perceptive realities: one based on fear and one based on love. They are both real, in a way, because they
shape how we experience the world, but we get to choose;
5022. Nothing’s
going to happen for you if you just sit around waiting for something to
happen. Action has to be taken. But not all actions are created equal. Not all actions are the right actions. It’s a matter of taking action that’s in
alignment with your core values and beliefs;
5023. Dark
times are not always a bad thing. They
might suck at the time and they sure are painful to go through, but they can
lead us to face uncomfortable truths about our lives that we often are
unwilling to look at when things are just chugging along. The truth remains unconscious until the pain
of denial becomes stronger than the pain of facing up to it;
5024. We tend
to think of our lives as dull or small when we don’t love our lives the way
they are and we feel like there’s something more exciting we could be doing
with them, but often what we’re doing, when we feel like this, is we’re
comparing our current reality to our dream reality;
5025. No matter
how much craziness is going on in your life, in society, on social media, in
the news, you can choose peace instead of that.
It doesn’t mean that you can necessarily change what’s happening, but
you can accept what is. It doesn’t mean
that you necessarily like it, but you can accept that it is what it is right
now. That’s the fact of the matter. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you will do
nothing about it moving forward, but you have to acknowledge, understand and
accept what is, accept the fact that things are the way they are, before you
can move forward in a meaningful way;
5026. Do not be
discouraged by your inability to dispel darkness from the world. Light your little candle and step forward;
5027. Remember
that chemistry is inherently personal.
Even if you think she is the hottest thing since Adam and Eve that doesn’t
mean that she has a crazy dating life or even gets hit on a lot. In fact, if you’re talking to her and you
actually have real chemistry, she probably feels exactly the same way about
you;
5028. Recognize
that the desire to do something “special” comes from the belief that you are
not enough by yourself(, but you are enough);
5029. The most
successful entrepreneurs put no time or energy into stressing about their
failures as they see failure as a small and necessary step in the process of
reaching their goals;
5030. My
(maternal) grandfather was editor-in-chief of the second largest newspaper in
Kowloon and (in) Hong Kong;
5031. My
(maternal) grandfather died in a(n America) bombing raid three months before
the end of World War II. My mom was two
and a half (years old) at the time;
5032. My
(maternal) grandmother was born in 1918;
5033. My
(maternal) grandmother was under 18 when she married my grandfather;
5034. Positive
emotions like gratitude help us become more resilient;
5035. Gratitude
keeps us hopeful;
5036. Gratitude
expands our possible responses.
Gratitude moves us into a place of abundance, a place where we’re more
resourceful, creative, generous, optimistic and kind. When we’re operating from a place of
scarcity, it tends to make us reactionary, close-minded, tight-fisted, gloomy
and even mean;
5037. Positive
emotions, say researchers, “broaden one’s thought-action repertoire, expanding
the range of cognitions and behaviors that come to mind. These broadened mindsets, in turn, build an
individual’s physical, intellectual and social resources.” In other words, they make us more resilient;
5038. One of
the challenges in reaching our long-term goals is getting derailed by
short-term gains. These are decisions
that look good in the moment; instant gratification usually does. But they actually prevent us from making
progress or even set us back;
5039. Gratitude
keeps you going. In one study
researchers, Robert A. Emmons and Anjali Mishra, had students list goals they
hoped to reach over a two month period.
Ten weeks later they checked back and found the grateful students were
closer than others in the study to reaching their goals;
5040. Gratitude
improves your patience. A lot of times
we take the easy out because we’re impatient. Achieving big goals takes time and
effort. Thankfully, gratitude can keep
you in the game;
5041. Gratitude
lowers your stress;
5042. The seven
steps to thinking big: 1. Imagine the
possibilities. Give yourself permission
to dream; 2. Write down your dream. This is the act that transforms a dream into
a goal. Amazing things happen when you
commit something to writing. Writing
down your goals forces you to clarify what you want, motivates you to take
action, helps you overcome resistance and gives you a way to objectively
measure your success; 3. Connect with
what is at stake. This is your
rationale. Unfortunately, it is a
crucial step that people often omit.
Before you can find your way, you must discover your why. Why is this goal important to you? What will achieving it make possible? What is at stake if you don’t? What will you lose? Your rationale provides the intellectual and
emotional power to keep going when the path becomes difficult (which it will);
4. Outline what would have to be
true. Rather than merely asking how to
get from where you are to where you want to go, ask what would have to be true
for your dream to become a reality.
Start with the dream and work backwards.
It’s the same for any goal; 5.
Decide what you can do to affect the outcome. This is where you transition from the big
picture to daily actions. This is where
people often get derailed. They can’t
see all the steps that will take them to their goal. So rather than doing something, they do
nothing. You will never see the full
path. The important thing is to do the
next right thing. What can you do today
to move you toward your dream? 6. Determine
when this will happen. Someone once said
that a goal is simply a dream with a deadline.
A deadline is one way to make the dream more concrete, which is exactly
what thinking big is about. A deadline
also creates a sense of urgency that will motivate you to take action. Force yourself to assign a “by when” date to
every goal. (If you get stuck, ask
yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t hit this?”); and 7. Review your goals daily;
5043. You ought
to be glad for the troubles on your job because they provide about half your
income. If it were not for the things
that go wrong, the difficult people with whom you deal and the problems of your
working day, someone could be found to handle your job for half of what you are
being paid. So start looking for more
troubles. Learn to handle them
cheerfully and with good judgment, as opportunities rather than irritations,
and you will find yourself getting ahead at a surprising rate. There are plenty of big jobs waiting for
people who are not afraid of troubles;
5044. Problems
can signal existing success. Most of us
accept the fact that failure brings problems, but sometimes we are surprised
that success does too. Achieving success
doesn’t mean our problems disappear. It
means we get different challenges that correlate to our achievements. There’s usually a link between the complexity
of our challenges and the level of our responsibility. Chances are good the bigger your problems,
the greater success you have and are already experiencing;
5045. Problems
spur greater success. Solving problems
stretches us personally and professionally.
Without problems, there aren’t opportunities. And without opportunities, we can’t grow, be
given more responsibility or make more money.
In fact, if you ever find yourself in a job without problems, you should
immediately start looking for another one.
It’s a sure sign you’re stuck;
5046. Problems
engender confidence. This is one of the
key reasons Navy SEALs endure the most grueling training imaginable. “You can’t learn the confidence adversity
teaches you in a classroom or from a book,” SEAL Alden Mills says, “You learn
it from experience.” Only when we see
ourselves overcoming problems do we gain the confidence to know we can do it
again;
5047. Problems
expand our understanding. When we’ve
faced challenges, we know what it’s like.
And we can apply that knowledge to others, a critical skill for leaders
to develop. A leader who’s overcome
significant problems will know what s/he can expect from her/his team. And s/he’ll know how to help them reach their
goals;
5048. Fears are
almost always based on unknowns, when we become familiar with our fears, it
often kills them;
5049.
Apparently, (unopened) cans of “Red Bull” will explode after 12 years or
so;
5050. Anger can
be healthy, if it’s directed in the right way.
The most helpful way to direct your anger is to use it as motivation to
find a solution. This is the most
peaceful, helpful, productive way to use your anger. The least helpful way to use your anger is to
direct it into an unproductive loop of blame, complain and demean;
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