Monday, September 14, 2020

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0185

9201.  We’re all driven by fear to care about something because caring about something is the only thing that distracts us from the reality and inevitability of our own death.  To truly not care is to achieve a quasi-spiritual state of embracing the impermanence of one’s own existence.  In that state, one is far less likely to get caught up in various forms of entitlement;
9202.  People’s immortality projects are actually the problem not the solution; rather than attempting to implement, often through lethal force, their conceptual self across the world, people should question their conceptual self and become more comfortable with the reality of their own death;
9203.  While death is bad it is inevitable.  We should not avoid this realization, but rather come to terms with it as best we can.  Because once we become comfortable with the fact of our own death, the root terror, the underlying anxiety motivating all of life’s frivolous ambitions, we can then choose our values more freely, unrestrained by the illogical quest for immortality and freed from dangerous dogmatic views;
9204.  The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A wo/man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time;
9205.  The only way to be comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself as something bigger than yourself; to choose values that stretch beyond serving yourself, that are simple, immediate, controllable and tolerant of the chaotic world around you.  This is the basic root of all happiness;
9206.  Happiness comes from the same thing: caring about something greater than yourself, believing that you are a contributing component in some much larger entity and that your life is but a mere side process of some great unintelligible production; this fleeting sense of being part of something greater and more unknowable than themselves;
9207.  The gravity of entitlement sucks all attention inward, toward ourselves, causing us to feel as though we are at the center of all of the problems in the universe, we are the one suffering all of the injustices and we are the ones who deserve greatness over all others;
9208.  Entitle isolates us.  Our curiosity and excitement for the world turns in upon itself and reflects our own biases and projections onto every person we meet and every event we experience;
9209.  We are so materially well off yet so psychologically tormented in so many low-level and shallow ways;
9210.  People relinquish all responsibility demanding that society cater to their feelings and sensibilities;
9211.  People hold on to arbitrary certainties and try to enforce them on others often violently in the name of some made-up righteous cause;
9212.  People high on a sense of false superiority fall into inaction and lethargy for fear of trying something worthwhile and failing at it;
9213.  The pampering of the modern mind has resulted in a population that feels deserving of something without earning that something, a population that feels they have a right to something without sacrificing for it;
9214.  People declare themselves experts, entrepreneurs, inventors, innovators, mavericks and coaches without any real-life experience.  They do this not because they actually think they are greater than everybody else; they do it because they feel that they need to be great to be accepted in a world that broadcasts only the extraordinary;
9215.  Our culture today confuses great attention and great success assuming them to be the same thing, but they are not;
9216.  You are already great.  Whether you realize it or not.  Whether anybody realizes it or not.  It’s not because you launched an iPhone app, finished school early or bought yourself a sweet boat.  These things do not define greatness.  You are already great because in the face of endless confusion and certain death, you continue to choose what to care about and what not to.  This mere fact, this simple optioning for your own values in life, already makes you beautiful, already makes you successful and already makes you loved;
9217.  The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides never decides;
9218.  If we believe that we are “not enough” just the way that we are then we will constantly be trying to fill that hole or compensate for that sense of inadequacy.  Maybe with material things.  Maybe with achievements.  Maybe by pleasing others . . . there are lots of ways we do this all of which are doomed to failure because unless we heal that fundamental wound no matter what strategies we use to compensate for it, they will never be enough;
9219.  The belief in “not enough” just begets more not enough;
9220.  Some ways feeling “not enough” can show up: 1.  You feel like no matter what you do, it’s never quite good enough; 2.  You’re on a constant treadmill of working or striving to improve yourself without stopping to smell the roses; 3.  You bend over backwards to please people; 4.  You give and give, but find it hard to receive; 5.  You feel less than okay about your body or find it hard to accept the way you look; 6.  You say sorry a lot or, conversely, maybe you feel irritable a lot of the time; and 7.  You get some relief from these feelings by shopping, drinking, eating, working, watching television, sleeping or maybe even exercising, but the relief doesn’t last;
9221.  Peace isn’t something that you ultimately receive when you slow down the pace of your life.  Peace is what you’re capable of being and bringing to every encounter and event in the waking moments of your life.  Most of us are waging a nonstop internal mental skirmish with everyone we encounter.  Being peaceful is an inner attitude that you can enjoy when you’ve learned to silence your incessant, inner dialogue.  Being peaceful isn’t dependent on what your surroundings look like.  It seldom has anything to do with what the people around you think, say or do.  A noiseless environment isn’t a requirement;
9222.  Apparently, there are salivary/spit glands under your tongue;
9223.  The opposite of happiness is hopelessness and endless grey horizon of resignation and indifference;
9224.  Chronic anxiety is a crisis of hope.  It is the fear of a failed future;
9225.  Depression is a crisis of hope.  It is the belief in a meaningless future;
9226.  When people prattle about needing to find their “life’s purpose” what they really mean is that it’s no longer clear to them what matters, what is a worthy use of their limited time here on earth, in short, what to hope for;
9227.  The most tender fried (chicken) wings I’ve ever had are the confit wings at Bastille (Restaurant & Wine Bar) in (Old Town) Alexandria . . . and the espelette (dipping) sauce is great;
9228.  I can still say I’ve never had a bad dessert at Bastille (Restaurant & Wine Bar);
9229.  I’m not afraid of storms for I’m learning how to sail my ship;
9230.  Getting a blowjob for (buying )a(n expensive )purse . . . check (. . . yes, it’s very cliché ). . . coming in her mouth . . . (double) check;
9231.  You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want;
9232.  There may be some things in life you can’t control, but you are in control of what you choose to believe;
9233.  John Thompson, Jr. was the first African-American/black head coach to win a NCAA men’s basketball national championship;
9234.  Making out and “traumatizing” an 11-year old . . . check;
9235.  Apparently, I know John Thompson III’s cousin (i.e., his mom’s sister’s daughter);
9236.  Cheerwine . . . a sweeter version of Cherry Coke;
9237.  “Poppas pork belly B.L.T.” (i.e., crispy tender pork belly with bacon, Airlie fresh tomatoes, lettuce & fried onion straws) from PoppaDukes BBQ (PoppaDukesBBQ.com) is pretty tasty . . . bacon topped with bacon . . . yum;
9238.  There are 2 ½ glasses (of wine) in one (375 mL) can of wine;
9239.  (Attempted) “munching” in a hotel pool . . . check;
9240.  The “Berkshire pulled pork Sammy” (with “Sweet & Sassy BBQ” sauce) from PoppaDukes BBQ is great. . . . The partially caramelized sauce on the pulled pork adds so much flavor;
9241.  (I can say) I’ve gone to a wedding during COVID-19.  It’s (definitely) different.  There were separate RSVPs for the (wedding) ceremony, cocktail hour and the reception.  Tables were spread out (both) at cocktail and the reception and people wore masks;
9242.  Going to a wedding with the girlfriend . . . check;
9243.  The Italian cream wedding cake (i.e., almond coconut cake, almond cream & caramel buttercream filling & vanilla buttercream frosting) at Becky & Kevin’s wedding maybe the best wedding cake I’ve ever had;
9244.  Apparently, there are girls’ bikes;
9245.  Elizabeth likes riding bikes;
9246.  Work-life balance is a cultural myth.  It’s a fundamentally flawed and unachievable concept.  The notion of a work-life balance suggests that we should have this perfect balance between our personal and professional responsibilities at any given time.  Life is seasonal.  There may be seasons when the scales tip in favor of our professional responsibilities and aspirations and there may be seasons when our personal lives take priority.  It’s not all or nothing; it’s just not necessarily 50-50.  What works for one person, may not work for you.  And what works for you today, may not work for you down the road.  The seasons of life can also extend to your spirituality, relationships, health, fitness and other aspects of life;
9247.  It’s not about how much time; it’s about being intentional with your time;
9248.  We all get the same 365 days.  The only difference is what we do with them;
9249.  We all get the same 24 hours.  Are you living intentionally with yours?  Are you present when you’re with your family?  Are you zeroed in on the opportunity at hand?  Or are you distracted by everything else you could be doing?
9250.  Quit aiming for someone else’s idea of balance and focus your target on living intentionally;

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