What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0209

10401.  The most effective approach to meaningful connection combines compassion with a specific type of empathy called cognitive empathy;
10402.  Compassion: The daily practice of recognizing and accepting our shared humanity so that we treat ourselves and others with loving-kindness and we take action in the face of suffering;
10403.  Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.  It’s a relationship between equals.  Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.  Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity;
10404.  Empathy is the most powerful tool of compassion.  It is an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding;
10405.  (Theresa Wiseman’s) Attributes of empathy: 1.  Perspective taking; 2.  Staying out of judgment; 3.  Recognizing emotion; 4.  Communicating our emotion; and 5.  Practicing mindfulness;
10406.  Pity is the near enemy of compassion;
10407.  The far enemy of compassion is cruelty;
10408.  On the surface, the near enemies of emotions or experiences might look and even feel like connection, but, ultimately, they drive us to be disconnected from ourselves and from each other.  Without awareness, near enemies become the practices that fuel separation rather than practices that reinforce the inextricable connection of all people;
10409.  Sympathy v. empathy: I feel sorry for you;
10410.  Discharging discomfort with blame: This feels terrible.  Who can we blame?  You?
10411.  Comparing/competing: If you think that’s bad!
10412.  Judgment: You “should” feel shame!
10413.  Advice giving/problem solving: I can fix this and I can fix you;
10414.  Empathy: You’re not alone.  I’m with you;
10415.  What does support look like right now?
10416.  Boundaries: A prerequisite for compassion and empathy;
10417.  Cultivating meaningful connection: 1.  Developing grounded confidence: Learning & improving; Near enemies: Knowing & proving; Far enemies: Protecting fragile self-worth; 2.  Practicing the courage to walk alongside; Near enemies: Controlling the path; Far enemies: Walking away; and 3.  Practicing story stewardship: Honoring story as sacred; Near enemies: Performing connection while driving disconnection; Far enemies: Not valuing story; Damaging trust & self-trust;
10418.  The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection;
10419.  What you aren’t changing, you are choosing;
10420.  Triggers are your teachers.  Let what triggers you, show you what needs healing;
10421.  Salt intensifies the sweet and sour flavors in a margarita.  It makes the sour seem brighter making the overall drink experience that much more pleasurable;
10422.  We spend far more time fixated on changing ourselves than we do on accepting ourselves;
10423.  Accountability starts with you.  It means you are responsible.  It’s not so much a way of thinking as a way of being and it starts from within;
10424.  Accountability is about being reliable.  Ask yourself, “Can people count on me to do what I say I’ll do as I said I would do it?”  You must always keep your word;
10425.  Accountability is ownership.  It’s the willingness to hold yourself to account; it means taking total ownership no matter the mess up;
10426.  Accountability is about creating clarity.  When you are accountable you clear up the gaps and voids of expectations and what you are going to be doing;
10427.  Accountability is about trustworthiness.  When you are responsible and you make a commitment, you hold yourself to a high standard where others know and can trust in you;
10428.  Accountability is a partnership.  Partnerships are about support and mutual accountability; when you are held accountable by a partner, it’s important to recognize and respect the power of their intention and respond with appreciation rather than anger;
10429.  Being accountable begins with accepting responsibility and leading from a place of action;
10430.  Choices + Behaviors + Actions = Accountability;
10431.  I am accountable means you are able to count on me: if it is to be, it’s up to me;
10432.  Great leaders who are bound by their word are liberated by their accountability;
10433.  Lead from within: You are the leader of your life.  Consider the importance of accountability and work to incorporate it in every area you influence;
10434.  Dark chocolate (flavor crème) Oreos are tasty;
10435.  Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth;
10436.  (I can say) I’ve had an oyster shooter (with Bloody Mary mix, Tabasco, Tito’s Handmade vodka & fresh lemon) at the Fish Market in (Old Town) Alexandria;
10437.  The blackberry (Arnold) Palmer at the Chart House is (really) tasty;
10438.  Remember that people: 1.  Love to their level of self-love; 2.  Communicate to their level of self-awareness; and 3.  Behave to their level of healed trauma;
10439.  Feelings are like children.  You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either;
10440.  The goals people pursue affect their long-term happiness;
10441.  People are happiest when they pursue goals that connect them to other people.  In the workplace, this is reflected in studies suggesting that when people see their work as connecting to a broader purpose and helping other people to achieve their goals, they’re more satisfied with their careers.  And satisfaction with your work generally lifts your overall sense of well-being;
10442.  You can distinguish between goals that are competitive versus cooperative.  A comparative goal is one where you want to see yourself do better and the people you compare yourself to do worse.  A cooperative goal is one where you try to lift up your family, friends or neighbors so that success means that everyone does well;
10443.  The happiest people tend to engage in a lot of cooperative goals rather than competitive ones.  This allows people to celebrate their own successes as well as the successes of the people around them;
10444.  Very few things are completely good or completely bad.  Most experiences have some positive elements and some negative ones.  A great meal at a restaurant may have started with problems finding a parking spot or a table that was a little too close to a potted plant.  Happy people tend to focus on the positives and to let the negatives of events fade into the background;
10445.  The focus on the positive elements has two benefits for well-being.  First, each event is more enjoyable in the moment because the focus is on the desirable parts of what is happening rather than the undesirable parts.  Second, the information you focus on is the information that stays in memory.  So, when you look back on the event later, you’ll remember the positive parts of it most strongly and that memory will also help to make you happy;
10446.  Over the course of your life, people will do bad things to you.  Even the people closest to you in your life will do selfish or mean things.  One thing that happy people do well is to forgive others.  The interesting thing about forgiveness is that it enables you to forget the details of what someone did that upset you in the first place.  As a result, you will not be reminded of all those negatives when you see them or think about them in the future;
10447.  The alternative to forgiveness is to hold onto the details of the bad things people have done to you in the past.  The memory of social pain does not go away as quickly as the memory of physical pain because you can regenerate feelings of anger, shame or embarrassment just from thinking through a negative interaction with someone from the past.  It’s hard to truly experience the physical pain of an injury when you think about it much later;
10448.  Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean that you will trust them completely in the future.  There are people who are mean, selfish or unreliable that you might choose not to spend time with or do business with anymore.  Still, forgiving them for what they did will help you to move past those interactions without harboring negative feelings that can drag down your mood or your satisfaction with life;
10449.  More than 50% of the surface of the brain is devoted to processing visual information;
10450.  Closing our eyes frees up the energy associated with that 50% allowing our brains much needed recovery;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0208

10351.  (As hard as it is,) sometimes you just have to let children go and fend for themselves and trust that they’ll figure it out for themselves (and don’t harm themselves or someone else in the process);
10352.  When given the chance, a 13 year-old (specifically Marlin Maughan) can surprise you and be (very) responsible even after all of the evidence to the contrary that you’ve (personally) seen;
10353.  Authentic love can be unconditional and still require reciprocity, respect and mutual willingness.  Without these things, what you’re left with is activated wounds looking to get safety, security and validation from a place it doesn’t exist;
10354.  Smoked corned beef is very tender;
10355.  Joshua Radin saw Colin Hay perform at the Birchmere in 2005 with his then girlfriend. . . . It was around that time he decided to write (and perform) music for a living;
10356.  Apparently, Joshua Radin is homeless. . . . He sold his house (in Los Angeles) and put his stuff/things in a storage unit.  And he’s now living out of a suitcase( while touring);
10357.  If you learned as a child that your silence would keep you safe, it can feel revolutionary to realize that your voice, not your silence, will keep you safe as an adult;
10358.  What if the things you shame yourself for (i.e., I’m lazy, overwhelmed, disorganized, unconfident, etc.) are actually the source of your power?
10359.  (Simply Nature) quinoa chips are (just) disappointing Sun Chips;
10360.  (Simply Nature) black bean chips aren’t very good (by themselves), but they’re great with salsa;
10361.  Corned beef prepared in a slow cooker is (also) very tender;
10362.  As we heal, we may find ourselves less able to tolerate others’ rage, neglect, sharpness or coldness.  This doesn’t mean that our healing has made use “weaker.”  It means that we’re finally allowing ourselves to recognize how painful these dynamics have always been and we’re finally giving ourselves permission not to tolerate them anymore;
10363.  The Portuguese stew (with Maine mussels, middleneck clams, market fish, smoked chorizo, peewee potatoes, fennel, cilantro & sourdough) at The Salt Line (TheSaltLine.com) is tasty;
10364.  (According to Isa Seyran, Washington,) D.C. has the second best theatre scene (in the U.S.) behind New York (City);
10365.  In order to break the people-pleasing pattern, we must learn to sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it, including: 1.  The discomfort of others being unhappy with us; 2.  The discomfort of letting others find the solutions to their own problems; 3.  The discomfort of having difficult conversations and setting tough boundaries; and 4.  The discomfort of realizing others’ happiness isn’t our responsibility, but our own happiness is;
10366.  (Simply Nature) cauliflower tortilla chips aren’t bad;
10367.  Old Ebbitt Grill (Ebbitt.com) in D.C. has oyster Happy Hour (i.e., ½ dozen for $12.00) daily from 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM and from 11:00 PM to 1:00 AM;
10368.  Fire Works Pizza (FireWorksPizza.com) in Courthouse has Happy Hour daily from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM;
10369.  Not everything needs a response.  You have the right to say “no” to people and situations that don’t serve you.  Don’t internalize other people’s behavior;
10370.  Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.  Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.  The point is to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer;
10371.  Letting things go is a daily practice;
10372.  Just a reminder that second chances without growth are just patterns;
10373.  Perhaps you are overvaluing what you don’t have and undervaluing what you do;
10374.  Make a list of everything you complain about and you will find some desires masquerading as complaints;
10375.  State your desire instead of complaining;
10376.  Shame and guilt must be released from past actions for they hold us separate from what is possible and ours as our birthright;
10377.  Whisky should avoid sunlight (at all costs) as it can effectively cook the alcohol and destroy it;
10378.  Whisky must never lay on its side because the alcohol can eat away at the seal and let air get in to oxidize the liquid;
10379.  Thinking you need to do it all alone all (of) the time is a trauma response . . . and a protection from the sheer vulnerability of inviting others in to the tenderness of your aching heart;
10380.  Don’t believe every worried thought you have.  Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate;
10381.  Caesars Sportsbook (WilliamHill.com/us/welcome) (by William Hill Sportsbook) in Capital One Arena (in D.C.) is pretty nice;
10382.  Don’t use mobile ordering at Caesars Sportsbook.  They automatically add a 20% gratuity, which is fine, but they also add an additional gratuity of 18%, which you can’t decline;
10383.  Deprivation of body pleasure throughout life, but particularly during the formative periods of infancy, childhood and adolescence, is very closely related to the amount of warfare and interpersonal violence;
10384.  Cultures that don’t interfere in the physical bonding between mother and child or prohibit the expression of adolescent sexuality show far lower levels of violence both between individuals and between societies;
10385.  The Muria of central India set up adolescent dormitories (called ghotuls), where adolescents are free to sleep together away from concerned parents.  In the ghotul, the young people are encouraged to experiment with different partners as it’s considered unwise to become too attached to a single partner at this phase of life;
10386.  Envy occurs when we want something that another person has;
10387.  Jealousy is when we fear losing a relationship or a valued part of a relationship that we already have;
10388.  Resentment: It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries, ask for what we need or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what people think, what they feel or how they’re going to react;
10389.  Schadenfreude: Pleasure or joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune;
10390.  We feel admiration when someone’s abilities, accomplishments or character inspires us or when we see something that inspires us like art or even nature;
10391.  Reverence: Sometimes called adoration, worship or veneration is a deeper form of admiration or respect and is often combined with a sense of meaningful connection with something greater than ourselves;
10392.  Irreverent: Not showing the expected respect for official, important or holy things;
10393.  If everything in your life is about your accomplishments, you eventually become a “human doing” instead of a “human being.”  Your entire sense of worth comes from what you’ve achieved (instead of who you are) and that’s a fickle place to be;
10394.  Bittersweet: A mixed feeling of happiness and sadness;
10395.  Nostalgia: A yearning for the way things used to be in our often idealized and self-protective version of the past;
10396.  Irony: A form of communication in which the literal meaning of the word is different, and often opposite, from the intended message;
10397.  Self-righteousness is the conviction that one’s beliefs and behaviors are the most correct;
10398.  Self-righteousness is closed-minded, inflexible, intolerant of ambiguity and less likely to consider other’s opinions;
10399.  The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets;
10400.  Compassion is a daily practice and empathy is a skill set that is one of the most powerful tools of compassion;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0207

10301.  The rooms at the JW Marriott Chicago are (really) nice;
10302.  It’s a 45-minute wait for deep dish pizza at Giordano’s (Giordanos.com). . . . It’s just so thick, it takes that long to cook;
10303.  Giordano’s deep dish pizza has more cheese and no tomato chunks (in their sauce) when compared to Pizzeria Uno’s/Uno Pizzeria & Grill’s deep dish pizza;
10304.  The crust on Giordano’s deep dish pizza is dry. . . . It isn’t greasy/oily;
10305.  Adolph Hitler didn’t invent the swastika;
10306.  The swastika is an ancient Hindu symbol adopted by Buddhists;
10307.  There’s a New Ireland in Papua New Guinea;
10308.  Both animal and human mummies were used at various times as fertilizer or fuel;
10309.  Mummy wrappings were used as raw material in papermaking;
10310.  Ground up human mummy was sold as medicine for its supposed ability to stop bleeding and was even used as a food seasoning;
10311.  In 1994, Frontera Grill (RickBayless.com/Restaurants/Frontera-Grill/) (in Chicago, Illinois,) was ranked the world’s third-best casual dining restaurant by the International Herald Tribune;
10312.  In 2007, Frontera Grill won the James Beard Foundation’s “Outstanding Restaurant” award as the best restaurant in the U.S.;
10313.  The (wood-grilled Florida pink) shrimp (i.e., camarones al coco) at Frontera Grill really taste like coconut . . . and so does the (white) rice;
10314.  The (grilled-roasted Gunthorp) pork loin (with Oaxacan yellow mole) at Frontera Grill is really tender;
10315.  Pecan polvorones remind me of pecan sandies;
10316.  The best (classic) flan I’ve ever had might have been at Frontera Grill. . . . It’s slightly sweet and the texture is very smooth with no lumps whatsoever;
10317.  The “Cloud Gate” (i.e., “the Bean”) (in Chicago) is cooler than I thought it’d be;
10318.  Testosterone levels correlate to the likelihood of a young man (or woman) getting into trouble;
10319.  In the U.S., adolescent males are 5 times more likely to kill themselves than females are;
10320.  Among Americans between 15 and 25, suicide is the third leading cause of death and teenage boys kill themselves at a rate double that of any other demographic group;
10321.  A government study found that homosexual youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers;
10322.  A 2005 survey of 12,000 adolescents found that those who had pledged to remain abstinent until marriage were more likely to have oral and anal sex than other teens, less likely to use condoms and just as likely to contract sexually transmitted diseases as their unapologetically non-abstinent peers;
10323.  The study’s authors found that 88% of those who pledged abstinence admitted to failing to keep their pledge;
10324.  If we had a parent, who was attuned, helped us navigate our emotions and (more often than not) met our needs, we will have safe, embodied patterns in relationships.  This means we will be able to express our needs and meet the needs of our partner.  We are able to trust and feel safe within the body;
10325.  If we had parent figures, who were not attuned to our needs, didn’t help guide us through our emotions and who were inconsistent, we develop relationship patterns to keep ourselves safe and protected.  We struggle to connect or trust and often leave our body(i.e., dissociate) to cope;
10326.  Our relationships (specifically our romantic relationships) are the greatest indicators of our emotional health;
10327.  Honey roasted pistachios are better/tastier than honey roasted peanuts;
10328.  Sometimes the reason that you’re suffering is because you won’t let go of the thing that’s biting you;
10329.  D(onald)J(oseph) Qualls (the actor) came out as gay at a Jim Jefferies show;
10330.  Jim Jefferies (the comedian) doesn’t drink anymore. . . . He just smokes (cannabis/marijuana) or takes edibles;
10331.  Jim Jefferies’s favorite TV show is The Bachelor/The Bachelorette;
10332.  “Eddie Murphy Delirious” was filmed at DAR Constitution Hall in D.C.;
10333.  The hot chicken and French toast sandwich (i.e., Nashville-style chicken sandwich, pickles & maple syrup) for brunch at Lyon Hall (LyonHallArlington.com) in Arlington is (pretty) tasty;
10334.  The band, Vertical Horizon, was formed by a couple of undergrad(uate)s (i.e., Matt Scannell & Keith Kane) at Georgetown University (in 1991);
10335.  (I can say) I was at the Seattle Kraken’s first game (ever played) in D.C.;
10336.  (I can say) I was at Mark Giordano’s 1,000^th career(, regular season) game;
10337.  Ironically, people-pleasing in order to feel a sense of belonging typically leads to the opposite outcome: feeling unseen and unknown;
10338.  A sense of belonging only arises when we feel seen and accepted for who we really are;
10339.  Fogo de Chao (FogoDeChao.com) has a pretty good Happy Hour.  It runs from 4:30 PM to 6:30 PM Monday through Friday (in the bar and patio) with $4.00 Happy Hour bites and $8.00 select cocktails;
10340.  Ronny Chieng (the comedian) has a( undergraduate) law degree from the University of Melbourne;
10341.  Apparently, Jim Jefferies was punched by an audience member when he was onstage in Manchester, England( in 2007);
10342.  Self-compassion isn’t just about being kind to your current self, it’s also about being kind to your previous self that didn’t know what you know now;
10343.  Emotional availability isn’t just about being able to give love, time and care.  It’s also about being able to receive love, time and care from others;
10344.  If you keep finding yourself in relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable, you might consider how emotionally available you really are;
10345.  Being happy doesn’t mean you have it all, it just means you’re grateful for all you have;
10346.  Life can change in an instant;
10347.  Apparently, you can die (rather) quickly after liver failure;
10348.  Chris Williams (the former University of Virginia men’s basketball player, who was nicknamed “Big Smooth”,) died of blood clots in his heart on March 15^th, 2017;
10349.  Root beer floats are good so I thought a ginger beer float could be good . . . not so much;
10350.  I can see (now) how it’s hard for parents to let go and trust their children to be responsible when a lot of what they’ve done in the past shows the opposite;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0206

10251.  Commitment is the ability to show up for something bigger than yourself;
10252.  Commitment is a value you can apply in every aspect of your life and it’s what will keep you going when times get tough;
10253.  (I can say) I’ve been to a(n) Islamic/Muslim wedding;
10254.  Imams (i.e., Islamic/Muslim priests) can be funny;
10255.  Austin(, Texas) strip clubs are terrible (specifically the Red Rose Cabaret);
10256.  Austin(, Texas) can’t handle freezing rain/snow. . . . They have no snow plows and not many salt/sand trucks;
10257.  Researchers Robin Baker and Mark Bellis found that approximately 35% of the sperm are ejected within half an hour of intercourse;
10258.  The female’s body perceives sperm as antigens (i.e., foreign bodies) that are promptly attacked by anti-sperm leucocytes, which outnumber sperm 100:1.  Only 1 in 14 million ejaculated human sperm even reach the oviduct;
10259.  There is striking evidence that the female reproductive system is capable of making subtle judgments based upon the chemical signature of different men’s sperm cells.  These assessments may go well beyond general health to the subtleties of immunological compatibility;
10260.  The genetic compatibility of different men with a given women means that sperm quality is a relative characteristic;
10261.  Not every “high quality” male would be a good match for any specific woman even on a purely biological level;
10262.  Because of the complexities of how the 2 sets of parental DNA interact in fertilization, a man who appears to be of superior mate value (i.e., square jaw, symmetrical body, good job, firm handshake & a Platinum AMEX card) may in fact be a poor genetic match for a particular woman;
10263.  A women’s orgasms provoke changes in vaginal acidity.  These changes appear to assist the sperm cells of the lucky guy who provoked the orgasm;
10264.  The environment at the cervical opening tends to be highly acidic and, thus, hostile to sperm cells.  The alkaline pH of semen protects the spermatozoa in this environment for a while, but the protection is short-lived; most of the sperm cells are viable within the vagina for only a few hours, so these changes in acidity alter the vaginal environment in ways that can favor sperm that arrive with the female’s orgasm;
10265.  Recent research suggests women who do not use condoms are less likely to suffer from depression than either women who do use condoms or who are not sexually active;
10266.  Women can develop a “chemical dependency” on the boost they get from the testosterone, estrogen, prostaglandins and other hormones contained in semen.  These chemicals center the woman’s bloodstream through the vaginal wall;
10267.  Reaching out and asking for help can be a gift.  It allows someone else to help/give back;
10268.  Jeremy thinks I don’t look my age;
10269.  The slow roasted Angus brisket (barbacoa style with red chile mayo, avocado relish & micro cilantro) and the chicken & waffle (with crisp tenders, peppered bacon, peppercorn gravy, green apple slaw, maple syrup, red chile aioli, chives on a waffle tortilla) tacos at Velvet Taco (VelvetTaco.com) are tasty;
10270.  Apparently, Kalpesh (Lakhani) thinks I’m a fun guy;
10271.  I feel/think that people don’t see me, but (some) people do see me as a good person (specifically Rob, Ian & Greg);
10272.  Spanish researchers confirmed that women experience greater feelings of attractiveness and desire around ovulation while others have reported women find classically masculine faces more attractive around ovulation opting for less chiseled-looking guys when not fertile;
10273.  Where a woman chooses her partner while she is on the pill and then comes off it to have a child, her hormone-driven preferences have changed and she may find she is married to the wrong kind of man;
10274.  The only real (love) revolution happens right inside of you;
10275.  The most important place for all of us to start is to prioritize loving and healing is the self-love that needs to happen inside ourselves and our own trauma first;
10276.  When we’re able to discover more of our own light after healing our trauma, we’ll have more light to shine out to the world;
10277.  Hurt people hurt people, but people filled with love for themselves love other people;
10278.  A lot of the restaurants/stores at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport close around 5:30/6:00 PM;
10279.  Celebrating your small wins is crucial as it reminds you that you are on the right path and your efforts will pay off;
10280.  We wrap our self-worth up in completing certain tasks or goals.  Noting that once we achieve a certain goal or standard, that it will boost our self-esteem and, therefore, our confidence and worth.  This is true to a point because achievement does feel good and is a strong motivator.  However, for those of us who struggle with perfection, it’s a dangerous internal dialogue to have.  To say that we are only worth something if we can achieve a specific thing we’ve randomly attached value to creates a rat race.  And it’s a race that, ultimately, we will never win.  We’ll always be chasing the next best thing, never satisfied, never fully confident and always hungry;
10281.  What if we shifted our perspective to be more like those who are truly confident and happy with who/where they are?  What would it take?  It would take self-acceptance;
10282.  Goal attainment and confidence are 2 separate things and, the more we can assess these separately, the better off we are;
10283.  If we blindly accepted ourselves, without attaching achievement, how differently would we look and feel?
10284.  What if we decided we were worth something not because we “earned it,” but because we know who we are and we know that’s someone worth believing in?
10285.  What if we believed we were worth something simply because we are human and know that nobody else out there is like us?
10286.  It’s okay to believe in who I am because I accept and love all of me . . . weaknesses, strengths, the whole package. . . . There’s no other package like this – like me – like you. . . . There is value in rarity;
10287.  Accept who you are and use all of what you know to propel yourself forward rather than focusing exclusively on goal attainment;
10288.  Achievement is one small portion of success; confidence, on the other hand, is a matter of perspective;
10289.  By constantly ruminating over your past, you are characterizing your present with a negative emotional experience.  Let go;
10290.  Researchers at Michigan State University have discovered that dogs often take on the same personality traits as their owner;
10291.  Dogs are like humans in that they have personalities that are shaped over time;
10292.  According to Professor Chopik, older dogs are much harder to train.  He found that the “sweet spot” for teaching a dog obedience is around the age of 6, when it outgrows its excitable puppy stage, but before it’s too set in its ways;
10293.  Forget those who hurt you yesterday, but don’t forget those who love you every day.  Forget the past that makes you cry, focus on the present that makes you smile.  Forget the pain, but never forget the lessons you gained;
10294.  It cost me $119.95 (i.e., trip charge) to find out that frost can form in your freezer if the door/drawer isn’t (fully) shut( all of the way);
10295.  With women, at least nominally straight women, the higher her sex drive, the more likely she’ll be attracted to men and women;
10296.  Lesbians showed the same pattern as men: a higher sex drive means more women-only focus;
10297.  Many women see themselves as attracted to specific people rather than to their gender;
10298.  Women, in sexologist Lisa Diamond’s view, respond so strongly to emotional intimacy that their innate gender orientation can easily be overwhelmed;
10299.  One can choose what to do, but not what to want;
10300.  Note to self: Don’t visit Chicago in February;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0205

10201.  In Mexico, they put shards of glass on top of walls. . . . I’m guessing it’s to prevent people from grabbing a hold of the top and pulling themselves over;
10202.  I can say I’ve been sailing (on a catamaran) in Mexico;
10203.  The “carpaccio di manzo” (i.e., beef carpaccio, balsamic gel & fennel-orange salad) at Bocelli Cucina Italiana at the Playacar Palace (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico) is (really) tasty;
10204.  Cancun(, Mexico) was founded in 1970;
10205.  Cancun(, Mexico and the Riviera Maya region) exist(s) solely because of tourism;
10206.  Tulum(, Mexico) was originally called Zama(, which is Mayan for “dawn”);
10207.  There are over 780 glyphs/signs in Mayan (hieroglyphic) writing;
10208.  The Mayans are known for their astronomical system, their calendar and mathematics;
10209.  About 20% of Mexicans are (part) Mayan;
10210.  Apparently, Mayans were short;
10211.  The Mayans built houses in the shape of a cross (pointing in the 4 cardinal directions of north, south, east and west);
10212.  Belize is a 3 days walk from Tulum;
10213.  Cuba is about 90 miles from Cancun;
10214.  Apparently, there’s a bike racing circuit for 7-year-olds;
10215.  Martie Haselton and her colleagues found that men shown photographs of the same 30 women – some taken around ovulation and others not – were quite good at judging when the women were “trying to look more attractive,” which in turn corresponded to the women’s menstrual status.  These authors found that women tend to dress more fetchingly when they are more likely to be fertile.  “Moreover,” writes Haselton, “the closer women were to ovulation when photographed in the fertile window, the more frequently their fertile photograph was chosen;”
10216.  Other researchers have found that men preferred women’s bodily smells near ovulation and that women tend to behave more provocatively in various ways when they’re likely to be fertile (i.e., they wear more jewelry and perfume, go out more, are more likely to hook up for casual sexual encounters and are less likely to use condoms with new lovers);
10217.  According to the head chef at the Playacar Palace (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico), you should cook onions (for) a little bit before adding (olive) oil. . . . It gives them a different flavor;
10218.  There are 60 employees preparing all of the food for the guests at the Playacar Palace (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico);
10219.  The biggest shrimp I’ve ever eaten/had were at the “chef’s dinner” at the Playacar Palace (in Mexico);
10220.  Nail buffer blocks remind me of drywall sanding sponges;
10221.  I had my first (ever) manicure and pedicure in Mexico;
10222.  There’s a Nickelodeon resort in Cancun(, Mexico);
10223.  The chipotle chicken tortas at Tortas Frontera by Rick Bayless (RickBayless.com/Restaurants/Tortas-Frontera/) is tasty;
10224.  If you want to date more, don’t focus on how many dates you go on, how many phone numbers you get or how many women you sleep with (i.e., all outcomes).  Instead just think about becoming the best version of yourself, being more social and putting yourself in situations where you’ll meet the women you’re interested in (i.e., actions);
10225.  You don’t have to know every turn on the route to get to where you want to go.  You don’t need to know how you’re going to get somewhere.  You just have to believe that you’re going to get there.  The how will take care of itself;
10226.  Faith is taking the first step when you can’t see the full staircase.  Trust is surrendering to the flow of life;
10227.  The degree to which you’re willing to be vulnerable is the degree to which you can grow in life;
10228.  Consistency is the not-so-secret secret to success;
10229.  (According to Ian Stanley, )the best habits to be consistent at are: 1.  Writing; 2.  Working out; 3.  Eating well; and 4.  Meditating;
10230.  Although Dixson classifies humans as mildly polygynous in his survey of primate sexuality, he seems to have doubts, as when he writes, “One might argue that . . . the female’s orgasm is rewarding, increases her willingness to copulate with a variety of males rather than one partner and thus promotes sperm competition;”
10231.  Apparently, Brittani (Wilson) lived next to Molly McGrath (i.e., the sportscaster) when she attended/was at Boston College;
10232.  Apologizing doesn’t make you weak.  It shows you have humility and the maturity to speak the truth and own up to your behavior;
10233.  Farmers Fishers Bakers (FarmersFishersBakers.com) in Washington Harbour in D.C. has a good weekend brunch (from 9:00 AM to 2:00 PM) for $29.99/person.  They have a good variety of breakfast (e.g., eggs Benedict, egg scramble, French toast, etc.), lunch (e.g., brisket, fried chicken, fried shrimp, ham, salads, salmon, tacos, vegetables, etc.) and dessert (e.g., cinnamon rolls, cheesecake, cookies, doughnuts, ice cream, kettle corn, Key lime pie, peanut butter mousse, etc.) items;
10234.  Don’t forget to show appreciation to those who genuinely support you;
10235.  (I can say) I’ve eaten/had wagyu beef. . . . I don’t (really) get the hype;
10236.  I never thought I’d ever know someone who was murdered . . . rest in peace Bengu Beachley;
10237.  Jehovah’s Witnesses are relentless. . . . They’ll send you (recruitment) letters in foreign languages if they think English isn’t your first language/native tongue;
10238.  Assumptions are often wrong.  Ask people about what they think rather than assuming you already know;
10239.  Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift.  That’s why it’s called the present;
10240.  Believe the hype.  Magic Spoon cereals (MagicSpoon.com) (specifically the cocoa and peanut butter) do taste like their sugary counterparts;
10241.  Overcooked gyro meat is like (lamb) bacon;
10242.  Yes, life is hard and many things cause suffering, but we also have the ability to find joy, relief and hope amidst difficulties;
10243.  Seth (Barr) thinks I don’t look my age;
10244.  The quinoa tabbouleh salad (with cucumber, roasted tomato, lettuce, radishes & olive vinaigrette) at the Sixth and Waller Global Diner (EastAustinHotel.com/food-drink/6th-and-waller/) (at the East Austin Hotel) in Austin, Texas is (really) tasty;
10245.  If you’re speaking, you’re not listening.  If you’re not listening, you’re not learning.  Listening is the key to learning and learning is the prerequisite to growth;
10246.  If you can’t hear what another person has to say, how can you learn about the motivations behind their actions?
10247.  If you don’t listen to your intuition, how can you live a life that is aligned with your gut/highest self?
10248.  If you don’t listen to that small quiet pull inside, how can you listen to others when we don’t even listen to ourselves?
10249.  If respect was the building blocks, listening would be the glue that holds them together;
10250.  What you do in the dark, puts you in the light;

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0204

10151.  We talk a lot in our culture about red flags when dating and that’s a good thing!  What we don’t talk enough about is: red flags don’t feel like red flags when they were once our familiar;
10152.  Many of us need to learn how to validate ourselves, how it’s okay to upset or disappoint people and how authentic relationships do not involve betraying ourselves to be loved or chosen;
10153.  If you’re always seeking external validation, you’ll lose the connection to your own voice, your own needs and your own power;
10154.  Apparently, Ingrid Michaelson has a “man-friend” (not a boyfriend);
10155.  Will Chase (i.e., “Luke Wheeler” from the television show, “Nashville,”) wants to be called a “man-friend” or partner;
10156.  I can say I’ve been to a concert at the (John F.) Kennedy (Memorial) Center (for the Performing Arts) with Will Chase;
10157.  Instead of setting an elusive standard for happiness, slow down to appreciate life’s little pleasures;
10158.  Relish the good.  Let the positive moments linger a little longer;
10159.  The way you perceive yourself makes a huge difference in the way your life turns out;
10160.  Elizabeth and Marlin think Charlie (Dog) would rather live with me;
10161.  Joe Snively is the first player from (the state of) Virginia to play for the (Washington) Capitals. . . . He’s from Herndon, Virginia, and was a player with the Washington Little Capitals program;
10162.  Adult male humans have the longest, thickest and most flexible penises of any living primate;
10163.  The unusual flared glans of the human penis forming the coronal ridge, combined with the repeated thrusting action characteristic of human intercourse, ranging anywhere from 10-500 thrusts per romantic interlude, creates a vacuum in the female's reproductive tract.  This vacuum pulls any previously deposited semen away from the ovum, thus, aiding the sperm about to be sent into action;
10164.  Despite all the bad press they get, men last far longer in the saddle than bonobos (i.e., 15 seconds), chimps (i.e., 7 seconds) or gorillas (i.e., 60 seconds) clocking in between 4-7 minutes on average;
10165.  A scrotum is like a spare refrigerator in the garage just for beer.  If you’ve got a spare beer fridge, you're probably the type who expects a party to break out at any moment.  A scrotum fulfills the same function.  By keeping the testicles a few degrees cooler than they would be inside the body, a scrotum allows chilled spermatozoa to accumulate and remain viable longer, available if needed;
10166.  A team of Australian researchers found that men who had ejaculated more than 5 times per week between the ages of 20 and 50 were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life;
10167.  Along with the fructose, potassium, zinc and other benign components of semen, trace amounts of carcinogens are often present so researchers hypothesize that the reduction in cancer rates may be due to the frequent flushing of the ducts;
10168.  A different team from Sydney University reported in late 2007 that daily ejaculation dramatically reduced DNA damage to men's sperm cells thereby increasing male fertility quite the opposite of the conventional wisdom;
10169.  After 42 men with damaged sperm were instructed to ejaculate daily for a week almost all showed less chromosomal damage than a control group who had abstained for 3 days;
10170.  A study conducted at the University of Bristol and Queen's University of Belfast found that men, who have 3 or more orgasms per week, are 50% less likely to die from coronary heart disease;
10171.  World Health Organization guidelines specify different sizes for various parts of the world: a 49-millimeter-width condom for Asia, a 52-millimeter width for North America and Europe and a 53-millimeter width for Africa (all condoms are longer than most men will ever need);
10172.  According to an article published in Nature, Japanese and Chinese men’s testicles tend to be smaller than those of Caucasian men on average;
10173.  Other researchers confirmed finding the average combined testes weights of 24 grams for Asians, 29-33 grams for Caucasians and 50 grams for Africans;
10174.  The Hamilton Beach Company of Racine, Wisconsin, patented the first home-use vibrator in 1902 thereby making it just the fifth electrical appliance approved for domestic use;
10175.  If a witch-hunter in the 1600s discovered a woman or girl with an unusually large clitoris, this “devil's teat” was sufficient to condemn her to death;
10176.  British primatologist Stuart Semple recorded more than 500 copulation calls from 7 different female baboons and analyzed their acoustic structure.  He found that these complex vocalizations contained information related to both the female’s reproductive state (i.e., the vocalizations were more complex when females were closer to ovulation) and to the status of the male “inspiring” any given vocalization (i.e., calls were longer and contained more distinct sonic units during mating with higher-ranked males);
10177.  Given all the other convergent evidence, it seems far more likely that in humans, female copulatory vocalization would serve to attract males to the ovulating, sexually receptive female, thus, promoting sperm competition with all its attendant benefits both reproductive and social;
10178.  My (maternal) grandmother’s godmother was Portuguese;
10179.  My mother’s godmother became a nun;
10180.  I never thought (that) I’d be “kissed” by a dog (on the back of my neck) when/while ringing in the New Year;
10181.  Jerry Buss (the former owner of the Los Angeles Lakers) used to own the (Los Angeles) Kings;
10182.  Taylor Hawkins was Alanis Morissette’s drummer before he joined the “Foo Fighters;”
10183.  According to the American Society of Plastic Surgery, 347,254 breast augmentation procedures were performed in the United States in 2007 making it the nation’s most commonly performed surgical procedure;
10184.  The ceilings are lower in Mexico;
10185.  There aren’t many Asians in Mexico;
10186.  You’re not supposed to flush toilet paper down the drain/toilet in Mexico;
10187.  I can say I’ve snuck into a (beach) club in Mexico;
10188.  I can say I’ve had a Corona (beer) in Mexico;
10189.  Apparently, Lukash is friends with (frosted-tips) “Harry Potter;”
10190.  I can say I’ve had tequila in Mexico;
10191.  I can say I’ve had a drink/shot with “Harry Potter” (in Mexico);
10192.  I can say I’ve had (late night, street) tacos in Mexico;
10193.  Bathrooms in Mexico don’t have tubs.  They only have showers.  The showers are next to the toilet set a little below sloping to a drain;
10194.  Prickly pear (fruit) has a lot of seeds;
10195.  Star fruit is very tart;
10196.  White guava is mushy and custardy;
10197.  The beach in Playa del Carmen (in Mexico) doesn’t have that strip of rocks/shells you have to walk over/through to get into the ocean;
10198.  I can say I’ve had a strawberry daiquiri on a tropical beach . . . and a Pina colada;
10199.  Apparently, I’m (really) good at recognizing movies by their soundtracks when I’m drunk;
10200.  They water down the (alcoholic) drinks in Mexico (especially at the all-inclusive resorts);

What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0203

10101.  Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down;
10102.  Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing;
10103.  Change will not come if we wait for some other person or if we wait for some other time.  We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.  We are the change that we seek;
10104.  Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending;
10105.  Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around;
10106.  At the beginning of the 20^th century, life expectancy at birth was around 45 years.  It has risen to about 75 thanks to the advent of antibiotics and public health measures that allow people to survive or avoid infectious diseases.  Keep in mind that this dramatic increase is much more a reflection of increased infant survival than of adults living longer;
10107.  Many anthropologists agree it’s likely that a large portion of infant mortality once attributed to starvation and disease probably resulted from infanticide;
10108.  They argue that foraging societies limited the number of infants so they wouldn’t become a burden to the group or allow overly rapid population growth to strain food supplies;
10109.  Joseph Birdsell, one of the world’s greatest scholars of Australian Aboriginal culture, estimated that as many as ½ of all infants were intentionally destroyed;
10110.  Various surveys of contemporary pre-industrial societies conclude that anywhere from ½ to ¾ of them practice some form of direct infanticide;
10111.  Learn to enjoy your own company;
10112.  You are valuable regardless of your relationship status.  You don’t need someone else to validate your self-worth;
10113.  Give yourself credit for the effort you put in to transform your life for the better;
10114.  There’s a (very good) reason why you’re not allowed to use your phones during a Dave Chappelle show;
10115.  Dave Chappelle is friends with/knows a lot of celebrities;
10116.  I can say that I’ve seen Dave Chappelle live;
10117.  Apparently, no smoking indoors in public places (in D.C.) doesn’t apply to Dave Chappelle;
10118.  Dave Chappelle smokes a lot;
10119.  Dave Chappelle is a decent singer;
10120.  If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack.  If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have;
10121.  Societies that practice infanticide don’t consider newborn infants full human beings.  Rituals ranging from baptism to naming ceremonies are delayed until it is determined whether or not the child will be permitted to live.  If not, from this perspective, the child was never fully alive anyway;
10122.  The dramatic increases in world population that paralleled agricultural development don’t indicate increased health, but increased fertility: more people living to reproduce, but lower quality of life for those who do;
10123.  Cortisol, the hormone your body releases when under stress, is the strongest immunosuppressant known.  In other words, nothing weakens our defenses against disease quite like stress;
10124.  Sheldon Cohen and his colleagues studied the sleep habits of 153 healthy men and women for 2 weeks before putting them in quarantine and exposing them to rhinovirus, which causes the common cold.  Those who slept less than 7 hours per night were 3 times as likely to get sick;
10125.  Intermittent fasting was associated with more than a 40% reduction in heart disease risk in a study of 448 people published in the American Journal of Cardiology reporting that “most diseases, including cancer, diabetes and even neurodegenerative illnesses are forestalled” by caloric reduction;
10126.  The theory of testis size is simple: species that copulate more often need larger testes and species in which several males routinely copulate with one ovulating female need even bigger testes;
10127.  If a species has cojones grandes, you can bet that males have frequent ejaculations with females who sleep around.  Where the females save it for Mr. Right, the males have smaller testes relative to their overall body mass.  The correlation of slutty females with big balled males appears to apply not only to humans and other primates, but to many mammals as well as to birds, butterflies, reptiles and fish;
10128.  A human ejaculation typically consists of anywhere from 3 to 9 spurts.  Researchers who somehow managed to capture “split ejaculates” for analysis found that the first spurts contain chemicals that protect against various kinds of chemical attack.  Aside from leucocytes and antigens present in a woman’s reproductive tract, they protect the sperm from the chemicals in the latter spurts of other men’s ejaculate.  These final spurts contain a spermicidal substance that slows the advance of any latecomers;
10129.  Several researchers have demonstrated that a man’s sperm production increases significantly when he has not seen his partner for a few days regardless of whether or not he ejaculated during her absence;
10130.  When my mom moved to Texas for grad(uate) school, she didn’t like the Mexican food served in the school cafeterias/dining halls;
10131.  My dad used to drink a couple of (12-ounce) bottles of Coca-Cola at work every day;
10132.  You deserve respect and compassion . . . from yourself;
10133.  Hibiki Suntory Whiskey (Japanese Harmony) reminds me of (The) Macallan (Scotch);
10134.  As much as it is fun to start a new life with someone, you must realize that the reason they want to be with you in the first place was that you had an “interesting life.”  You don’t want to lose your “life” trying to start a new one with them.  Let them come and share the wonderful life you’ve built just as you go on to partake in theirs;
10135.  I can say I’ve had venison Rocky Mountain oysters;
10136.  Venison testicles are soft and mushy;
10137.  Let your memories be just memories.  Don’t allow them to influence your thoughts and behaviors;
10138.  Serena Williams’s hitting partner is a former University of Virginia tennis player (i.e., Jarmere Jenkins);
10139.  Apparently, Dennis Rodman has a flip phone;
10140.  I hear Charles Esten (i.e., “Deacon Claybourne” from the television show, “Nashville,”) likes to go barhopping when he’s in (Old) Town (Alexandria) for Thanksgiving;
10141.  “Speck” is a type of cured, lightly smoked ham. . . . It’s very chewy;
10142.  “Pastirma” is Turkish pastrami;
10143.  You can only make helpful changes in your life if you focus on the things that are within your control;
10144.  No excuses about not being good at something.  We all have to start somewhere;
10145.  The single most important influence to our sense of self/self-worth comes from our relationships with parental figures;
10146.  Our parents’ interactions with us reflect back our sense of self.  We internalize their voice and it becomes our own inner voice . . . our identity;
10147.  If we had parents, who invalidated our emotions, denied our realities or disapproved of core parts of who we are, we felt this as children.  We developed beliefs that we are unworthy, unlovable and have a fear that something about us is broken.  This the mother/father wound;
10148.  When this happens, we search for love and validation in everyone we meet.  We become chronic people pleasers desperate to be “good enough” to be accepted;
10149.  Unconsciously, we recreate this parent-child dynamic with romantic partners.  We over extend ourselves, allow our boundaries to be crossed, allow people to betray us, place our self-worth in someone else’s hands and release our own needs in order to feel close to someone else;
10150.  External validation is the only way we can feel worthy.  Of course when someone doesn’t validate our worth, the blow feels crushing especially with romantic partners where we feel the original parental rejection all over again;