5301. Rather
than fantasizing or entertaining inward sexual imagery of any kind, remain
totally present, aware of your own body, breath and mind, and especially
attentive to your partner. Break the
masturbatory habit of inward fantasy by consciously practicing sex as a
relational play of love with your partner;
5302. Keep your
body and breath relaxed and full.
Especially keep the front of your body relaxed, so that your belly is
vast and your heart is soft and wide.
This will help prevent too much tension from accumulating in any one
area;
5303. Learn to
feel into and then through your partner, so that your attention is directed
beyond your own sensations and even beyond your partner’s sensations. Practice feeling outward, without limit, as
if you were feeling to infinity.
Whatever you are feeling, feel it fully and then feel through and beyond
it so that sex becomes a constant feeling through and beyond every sensation
rather than focusing on any particular sensation;
5304.
Throughout the day and during the sexual session, practice breathing so
that your inhalation moves energy down the front of your body and the
exhalation moves energy up your spine.
Excessive, chronic thinking or addiction to ejaculation is often a sign
that your energy is blocked and you are not yet breathing fully in this circle
throughout the day;
5305. During
sex, occasionally practice the upward contraction of the floor of your pelvis
while breathing sexual energy up your spine so it fills your whole body. Especially as you begin to approach orgasm,
you can combine the upward contraction of your pelvic floor with breathing up
the spine in order to shoot your orgasm up into your brain and even out through
the top of your head rather than down and out your genitals. This upward orgasm will then feel like it is
gently seeping down through every cell of your body saturating you with thick
open light;
5306. Although
you and your woman are equal beings, you are very different creatures. If she has a feminine sexual essence, her
core will be fulfilled when love is flowing.
For example, she can experience difficulties in her career, but if full
love is flowing in her life with her children, friends and with you then her
core will be fulfilled;
5307. If you
have a masculine sexual essence, then your woman and children can be loving you
all day and night, but if your career or mission is obstructed, you will not
feel at ease. You won’t even want to
share much intimate time with your woman until you have your career or mission
back on track;
5308. Your
woman’s core is fulfilled by love. Your
core is released from stress by aligning your life with your mission. To you, intimacy is something to be enjoyed
in addition to your purpose. To your
woman, intimacy is at the core of her life and the tone of your intimacy colors
everything else she does;
5309. When your
intimacy is going great, your woman’s life is filled with the color of
love. She feels good at work, at home,
in bed. When the intimacy is not going
so great, when your woman feels unloved, rejected, hurt or abandoned by you
then her day will be colored by hurt. At
work, at home and in the bed, the pain of “unlove” will color her disposition;
5310. When your
intimacy is going bad, you can’t wait to leave the house and go to work; there,
you can be in your element, aligned with your purpose and happy. For you, the intimacy is just one aspect of
your life. When you are absorbed in your
mission, you often forget entirely about your intimacy. For your woman, the intimacy is at the core
of her life and colors everything else she does. This is the primary asymmetry in intimacy;
5311. If your
woman has rejected her own feminine core, then she will struggle against her
inherent heart-connection with you. She
will try to identify with her masculine side, attempting to de-prioritize you
and your relationship. She will think
that she must “live her own life” and put more energy into her own career, for
instance. While it is obviously healthy
for every man and woman to learn to become whole and independent, it is
self-destructive for your woman to try to lessen the import of your
relationship in her life. If she has a
feminine sexual essence, the desire for the flow of love is at her core, no
matter how dedicated she is to her career or other activities;
5312. The
desire for intimate loving is as central to your woman’s life as the mission
toward freedom – financial, psychological and spiritual – is to yours. Think of how many hours a day you dedicate to
your mission and compare that with how many hours a day you spend serving your
woman’s deep desire for the magnification of love. If you want her to honor and support you in
your quest for freedom, you must honor and support her in her love of loving;
5313. If you
have a masculine essence and your woman has a feminine essence, you will never
be as concerned, distraught or elated about your intimacy as your woman
is. Don’t fake it. Don’t try to act concerned for the sake of
your woman. She can feel where you are
really at. Instead, be authentic to your
core desires and dedicate your life, with utter impeccability, to your highest
goals;
5314. When your
life is truly aligned with your highest purpose, you will become more present,
more loving and more humorous. Your
woman will then be the first recipient of your magnified presence, love and
humor. If your intimacy is not
constantly growing in this way, your life is not aligned with your highest
purpose;
5315. If your
woman devotes herself to her true heart desires, you will feel it. Her energy, radiance, wisdom and power to
create heaven on earth will feed you constantly, even when it is not directed
toward you. You will be inspired by her
magic, enchanted by her sexuality, awed by her knowingness and enlivened by the
life that flows so lovingly through her body.
However, if she has chosen to deny her heart desire and adopt more
masculine goals of purpose and mission as her core needs, both of you will
suffer. Her radiance will diminish, her
guardedness will increase and neither of your hearts will feel relaxed in the
intimacy;
5316. Your
woman could be a corporate executive and you could be a househusband. That’s fine as long as you are living your
highest purpose and her life is devoted to love. Honor this primary asymmetry in yourself and
in your woman. Only when you are willing
to support each other’s core desires will the intimacy give each of you what
you want and then perhaps bring you beyond even that into the utter joy of
being of which your relationship is only a hope;
5317. In a
review of studies where people consumed a mixture of omega-3 and omega-6 fats,
there was a 27 percent reduction in heart attacks and death;
5318. If
studies increased only omega-6 fats, there was a 13 percent increase in heart
attacks;
5319.
Randomized trials that used omega-6 fats alone (without any omega-3
fats) while reducing saturated and trans fats also showed an increased risk of
death’
5320. Many of
the current recommendations from studies to consume omega-6 fats omitted a
number of important studies and don’t distinguish between studies in which
people only consumed omega-6 fats from those in which people consumed a
combination of omega-3 and omega-6 fats;
5321. Omega-6
fats easily oxidize or go rancid, which makes any cholesterol you do have much
more likely to cause heart disease. Even
if your cholesterol is low, if it is oxidized or rancid, it is much more likely
to cause heart attacks. These fats are
called OXLAMs or oxidized linoleic acid metabolites; think of them as rancid
fats. They are what make up the
cholesterol plaques in your arteries;
5322. There’s a
public library in the Watergate (complex);
5323. Never
order a soda at Kingbird (in the Watergate Hotel in D.C). It’s $6.00 for a dinky, 8 oz. bottle of Coke;
5324. There are
masculine and feminine gifts in intimacy and each gift comes with its own
responsibility. The direction of growth
of a relationship is primarily the man’s responsibility. The energy of an intimacy – pleasure, sexual
flow and vitality – is primarily the woman’s responsibility. A simplified way of saying this is that the
man is responsible for the woman’s depth of love or openness of mood and the
woman is responsible for the man’s “erection” or energy in the body;
5325. Once you
have grown into independent adulthood, you no longer need somebody to take care
of you. You can be responsible for
yourself. In particular, you realize
that you are responsible for your own happiness. Nobody can live your life for you. You must create your own health, success and
happiness;
5326. Beyond
self-responsibility lies the responsibility to give your gift. It is important to grow beyond dependence on
your intimate partner for your own happiness.
But it’s equally important to grow beyond simple independence and
autonomy. The next stage of intimacy
after personal independence has been attained is the mutual flow of gifting or
serving each other in love;
5327. Your
masculine gift is to know where you are, where you want to be and what you need
to do to get there. If you don’t know
one of these then you need to discover it by any means necessary. This vision is, essentially, the basic gift
you have to offer your woman as well as the world. If you have no higher vision than the
day-to-day grind of housework, job, childcare, TV and vacations, you are
failing your birthright. Your woman will
feel cheated and ungifted by you as will the world. And they will both give you less of their
gifts in return;
5328. If your
woman is always stressed out, you need to know what she could do with her life,
in very practical terms, so she can relax.
If your woman feels unfulfilled most of the time, you need to know what
she is missing;
5329. Your main
gift in intimacy is to guide her, moment by moment, out of her moods and into
the openness of loving. And then, day by
day, to guide her life into greater degrees of divine love, even beyond the
relationship, so that her life becomes primarily communion, gifting and
celebration;
5330. Like a
musician practicing his art, you must practice, daily, the art of feeling
through your fear, feeling to your edge and then living just beyond your edge
neither slinking into private consolation nor pushing so hard you disconnect
from your source. The source that is
your deepest truth must become more and more the impulse of your life. Over time, all of your activities must become
aligned to this source and so must your relationship;
5331. Because
you probably tend to become lost in your thoughts, in your goals and in your
projects, one of the main gifts your woman can offer you is getting you into
your body, into the present, into love, which connects you to your source. Through her touch, her loving and her
attractiveness, she can also give you energy so that your whole body becomes
like an erection, full and alive and ready to penetrate the world into
love. If you have a masculine sexual
essence, her special gift to you is to bring you back into your body with the
attractive force of her feminine energy;
5332. Direction
in life is a masculine priority even in intimate relationship. A less spiritually mature man may say to his
woman, “My way or the highway!” A man in
the process of growing will often soften his direction and seek a compromise
with his woman, playing Mr. Nice Guy.
But a superior man will not settle for less than the fullest incarnation
of love of which he and his woman are capable.
With compassion, he slices through all bullshit and demands authenticity
and humor. It’s as if he were saying to
his woman, “The divine way or the highway!”
It’s the same masculine insistence on direction that a weaker man will
demand. But rather than wanting his
woman to follow his personal direction, a superior man wants her to move in the
direction that most serves her growth in love and happiness;
5333. If you
don’t know your own direction in life, you certainly will stand on shaky ground
offering your woman direction. The first
step is to align your own life so that, at least in this present moment, you
are living at your edge, fully aligned with your sense of purpose. If you are not absolutely certain that, in
this moment, you are living exactly the life you need to then your woman will
feel your lack of clarity and she will fight any kind of guidance you offer
her;
5334. If you
don’t cut through and take direction, your woman will. Masculine and feminine energies in intimacy
are governed by the law of conservation.
The less masculine direction you are living in truth, the more masculine
direction your woman will take on. If
you are working hard, but actually not living your true gift then your woman
will resent your lack of deep direction.
She will begin to take on the masculine herself, trying to cut through
your lolling, so that you feel the urgency, connect to your depth and really
give your gift;
5335. At your
core, you are masculine, her masculine attempt to cut through your lolling will
depolarize you. You will bash heads with
her, like two rams, since both of you are in your masculine. And if you move into your feminine, things
may get worse. A deep habit may develop
wherein no matter how strong you are in the business world, you become “pussy
whipped” in your relationship. Your
woman gets sharp and masculine, you become falsely receptive and agreeable and,
meanwhile, both of you feel like vomiting;
5336. If your
woman is chronically sharp with you, it is most likely a sign that, regardless
of how successful you are outside of your intimacy, you are not aligning both
of your lives with the highest truth.
You are not cutting through the underbrush of your duties and your woman’s
moods to reveal the fertile source of your lives. And so your woman must wield her own
sword. By the law of conservation of
masculine and feminine energy, whatever masculine gifts you aren’t offering,
your woman will naturally try to offer.
But since, in truth, your core is masculine, her masculine offerings
will most likely turn you off, eventually even repulsing you;
5337. A man
rediscovers and fine tunes his purpose in solitude, in challenging situations
and in the company of other men who won’t settle for his bullshit. But women strengthen their feminine radiance
best in the company of other women in mutual celebration and play. A man must arrange for both forms of restoration:
his own solitude and men’s gatherings and his woman’s time with other women;
5338. If you
spend too much time with your woman, you will rub off on each other in the
worst way. In order to get along
together, she will begin to adopt your masculine patterns of speech, denying
her feminine desire to flow in play and pleasure without having to make
masculine-style sense or fulfill a purpose.
You will begin to adopt her feminine patterns of touch and affection,
denying your desire to get down to it, with your mission or your woman. Instead, you will find yourself pecking your
woman on the cheek or giving her hugs and pats of lovey-dovey reassurance. In short, the goddess and the warrior will
become neutralized householders sharing only the mildest play of sexual
polarity;
5339. In order
to enliven her feminine core, your woman should spend time every day in
absolute abandon and celebration. During
these times of dancing, singing, laughter and sheer delight, her body and mind
should be totally released of any obligation to be masculine – directed,
controlled, structured or goal-oriented.
These occasions are most rejuvenating when she is with other women,
magnifying and rejoicing in each other’s’ feminine radiance and flow. If your woman lacks this frequent feminine
rejuvenation, she will develop symptoms of depressed feminine energy: disease
(especially in her more feminine parts), lack of life energy, low sexual desire
and enjoyment and a blue, downhearted, despondent disposition;
5340. Much of
the modern men’s movement has concentrated on men reclaiming their inner feminine
energy. If you want to revitalize your
own feminine energy, then you can do pretty much the same as women do to
revitalize their feminine energy. You
can go out into the woods and sing and dance and laugh with your friends. For men who have become rigidly stuck in
their masculine direction, without allowing the flow of joy and sharing in
their lives, this is good medicine;
5341. For men
who have lost their sense of purpose, who don’t know what their life is about
or who have trouble aligning their life with their truth, singing and dancing
aren’t the remedy. The cure for lack of
purpose is to be challenged to live at your edge, since you have lost the
capacity to live there by yourself;
5342. The two
ways to bring you right to your masculine edge of power are austerity and
challenge;
5343. Austerity
means to eliminate the comforts and cushions in your life that you have learned
to snuggle into and lose wakefulness.
Take away anything that dulls your edge.
No newspapers or magazines. No
TV. No candy, cookies or sweets. No sex.
No cuddling. No reading of
anything at all while you eat or sit on the toilet. Reduce working time to a necessary minimum. No movies.
No conversation that isn’t about truth, love or the divine;
5344. If you
take on these disciplines for a few weeks as well as any other disciplines that
may particularly cut through your unique habits of dullness then your life will
be stripped of routine distraction. All
that will be left is the edge you have been avoiding by means of your daily
routine. You will have to face the basic
discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. You will be alive with the challenge of
living your truth rather than hiding from it;
5345. Unadorned
suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth.
Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel
through it to its source. By putting all
your attention into work, TV, sex and reading, your suffering remains
unpenetrated and the source remains hidden.
Your life becomes structured entirely by your favorite means of
sidestepping the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel. And when you do touch the surface of your
suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up a magazine or
the remote control;
5346. The other
means, besides austerity, for rediscovering your masculine core is through
challenge. The more superficial forms of
challenge include activities like mountain climbing, ropes courses, competitive
sports and boot camp. These forms of
physical challenge instantly enliven the masculine sense of purpose and
direction, in men and women;
5347. Deeper
forms of challenge involve directly giving your gift in ways that have been blocked
by your fear. If you have always been
afraid of public speaking, you can take on the challenge of speaking in public
once a week for three months. If you
fail and miss an appointment one week, the following week you must give three
talks. If you have always wanted to
write a novel, but could never finish one, you tell your friends that you are
going to complete one chapter a week (or a month) for the next year. Every time you don’t complete your weekly
goal, you owe your friends $100.00. If
you don’t complete your yearly goal, you owe them $10,000.00;
5348. There
must be a consequence for freezing in the face of fear. There are obvious consequences for freezing
in the face of fear when mountain climbing or playing competitive sports. You must instill consequences throughout the
rest of your life, unless you want to cling to the safety net of superficial
pleasures;
5349. Spend
time every day in solitude with no distractions. Just sit, for ten minutes. No fidgeting, no channel surfing, no magazine
thumbing. Just be, exactly as you are,
not trying to change anything. Stay with
your suffering until you fall through it and intuit the source of your life;
5350. Just as
your woman must regularly spend time with only women, you must regularly spend
time with only men. At least once a
week, get together with your men friends to serve one another. Cut through the bullshit and talk with each
other straight. If you feel your friend
is wasting his life, tell him so, because you love him. Welcome such criticism from your
friends. Suggest challenges for each
other to take on, in order to bring each other through the fears which limit
your surrender in gifting. Always agree
on consequences for not persisting in the challenge. For instance, if you agree to ravish your
wife for three hours every other day for a week, then also agree to mow your
friend’s yard if you miss a day of ravishment;
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