5251. It is not
time that kills delight, but familiarity, neutralization and lack of
purpose. Another man might find your
woman to be quite a turn on even though she seems old-shoe to you. It may not be your woman who has worn out,
but your capacity for desire. You may
feel like having as little to do with her as possible. But your lack of desire is only that: a lack
of desire. You have spent so much time
with your woman that you have “rubbed off” on each other, like two magnets that
have demagnetized each other.
Familiarity breeds depolarization and depolarization breeds contempt
among lovers;
5252. Every
moment you treat your woman as simply a childcare helper or a buddy, you are
neutralizing the same sexual differences that would secretly attract you to
your female babysitter or business acquaintance. Over time, you actually begin to behave more
sexually neutral with your woman than you do with other women you meet
throughout the day;
5253. When your
woman is looking withdrawn, dark or downright ugly, assume she is a goddess and
needs your divine invasion of her heart and body. Notice your incipient feeling of disgust for
her dark mood and take utter responsibility for her transformation. You know how fully committed you could be to,
say, finishing a project at work. Treat
her mood with the some ferocity of intent.
Her mood is your challenge;
5254. A
superior man knows that when things get dreary, it is his own doing. He knows that he is only truly happy when
giving his gift, fully and to the last drop.
He knows that depolarization is a sign that he has ceased giving fully
of himself and so the world and his woman have ceased responding in fullness;
5255. A sunchoke
is like a potato, but sweeter;
5256. Sometimes
you must move on, to another job or another woman. That’s fine, if it is a true movement of
growth: clear, empowering and an aspect of the ongoing giving of your
gift. But, more often than not, your
first impulse to move on comes when you have ceased invading the moment with
your fullest capacity to give and instead are droning along, coping rather than
creating;
5257. It only
takes a moment of meeting a real challenge to bring a man back to full purpose,
an emergency or a threat that demands his best.
And it only takes a moment of praise and deep appreciation to re-evoke a
woman’s radiance. It can happen to your
woman at the grocery store or at the spa, when a man signals his appreciation,
or it can happen at the kitchen table with you;
5258. A good
woman is a source of inspiration and attraction into the world for a man. He must never forget, however, that neither
the world nor his woman is the purpose of his existence;
5259. In your
worship of women, never forget that they die.
In your enjoyment of pleasure and delight, never forget that your
sensations and feelings are fleeting and never absolutely enough. Women can attract you, heal you and inspire
your gifts, but they will never satisfy you absolutely. Never;
5260. The play
of your body wanting her body is the most obvious hoax of fulfillment. If you have ever gotten the woman you’ve
wanted, you know that it’s never as good as you hoped for, at least not for
very long. And yet you continue to be
attracted, over and over and over, to the same woman or to different
women. You are deceived by the mirage of
your own desire. You are deluded by your
own excitement. Women are not to
blame. They are to be cherished;
5261. Women are
the epitome of appearance, all appearance, everything around you, potential and
actual. And like women, all appearance
seems to promise you something you want.
You want success from your job.
You want love from your woman.
You want pleasure from your body.
You want obedience from your dog.
When you don’t get what you want – when you lose money, your woman hates
you, your body is in pain and your dog bites you – you are unhappy. When you do get what you want, you are less
unhappy;
5262. Your
ultimate desire is for the union of consciousness with its own luminosity,
wherein all appearance is recognized as your deep, blissful nature and there is
only one. Your desire for union with a
woman is a stepped-down version of this ultimate spiritual need;
5263. You can
use your desire as a doorway to spiritual oneness. Magnify your desiring to the brink of
madness. Sustain it with full breath,
relaxed body and open heart. Embrace
your woman, if you have one, and give her what you want from her. Give it all to her. Give it away to her. Give her so much of what you want from her
that you can’t tell who is who, the chaser has become the tail and all motion
stops in the intensity of self-release.
There is only one;
5264. In a
moment of attraction, let your desire feel to her, but don’t stop there. Feel through her. Do this constantly. Feel through her body when you are having sex
with her. Feel through her anger when
she is raging at you. Feel through her
darkness when she seems ugly. Feel
through her beauty when she most attracts you.
By feeling through all of her forms, the superior man is not distracted
or obsessed. Rather, his attention feels
through the mirage of other and he is released of need in the revelation of
oneness;
5265.
Ejaculation, for the most part, actually depletes and weakens you. It feels great for a few moments, but the
price you pay for the genital sneeze of ejaculation is a much higher level of
mediocrity in your daily life. You will
find that you just don’t have the extra gusto necessary to live your life with
utter impeccability. Excess ejaculations
pave the road to living a good life, but not a great life;
5266. Most
women can experience many orgasms and deeper and deeper orgasms. And more importantly, most women have a
natural connection between their genitals and their heart. When you ejaculate and lose your erection,
you are probably depriving your woman of her fullest capacity of heart
reception and expression, which is evoked by relaxed, loving, watery hours of
your fearless and unstressful genital penetration. It is not simply your genital penetration
that touches her deeply, though. The
main penetration she feels is your yielding into her, through her, in
love. It is the fullness of your presence,
the actual invasion of her body by your consciousness that most ravishes her;
5267. Just as
your woman tests you emotionally, so she will test you sexually. Even when you are trying not to ejaculate,
she may energetically begin to “pull” the ejaculation from you. As always, her deepest pleasure is in feeling
your fullness, your strength and your love, even while she is testing you. When you don’t ejaculate, but demonstrate
that the fullness of loving is more important to you than the quick thrill of
genital release then she can truly trust you.
But she will continue to test your capacity for loving even once you’ve
demonstrated your capacity to bypass ejaculation for the sake of a much more
profound bliss;
5268. The
bottom line is this: If ejaculation is not completely a matter of conscious
choice for you, your woman knows she controls you sexually. And as long as she knows she’s in charge, she
won’t trust you enough to relax fully in the force of your loving. She will always keep her heart somewhat
protected. Rather than surrender so
deeply in your embrace that she is splayed into divine brightness, she will go
for whatever moist pleasures she can get before you lose interest;
5269. The front
of your body, especially your belly, is the place where your energy meets the
energy of the world. When the front of
your body is open and relaxed, your power flows freely and your presence fills
the room. You’ve probably been with
people who seem to occupy more space in the room than most people. They seem to command attention even though
they are not doing anything obvious to attract it. The front of their body is so open that their
energy flows freely through the room, magnifying their presence;
5270. If the
front of your body has accumulated tension, throughout the day and throughout
the years, you will hardly be able to sit up straight. Your belly and chest will be tight. Your thoughts will center on yourself. Your energy will remain constricted in your
head and your awareness limited to self-concern. Your powerful presence won’t fill the room at
all. You might not even be noticed;
5271. Right
now, notice your breath. Are you
inhaling so deeply you feel your genitals bulging slightly? Is your belly rising and falling with your
inhale and exhale like a mighty bellows?
Your belly and lower abdomen are special places of power. If your breath does not reach these areas,
you can’t recharge your batteries. You
will feel weak and unsure of yourself.
Your effect in the world will be minimal, less than your full potential;
5272. The kinds
of saturated fats circulating in the blood that are associated with heart
disease are even-chain palmitic and stearic acid. Most palmitic and stearic acids in the body
are produced in your liver when you eat carbohydrates. They don’t come from eating fat;
5273. Carbs and
alcohol (a form of sugar), not saturated fat, trigger high blood levels of
stearic and palmitic acid;
5274. Alcohol
doesn’t trigger much insulin secretion and small amounts may be protective against
heart disease;
5275. Saturated
fats (palmitic acid and stearic acid) in your blood that cause heart attacks
come from eating sugar and carbs, not fat;
5276. Saturated
fats (margaric acid) that come from dairy and butter show a reduced risk of
heart disease;
5277. Omega-6
fats from vegetable oils show no benefit and may increase risk of heart
attacks;
5278. Omega-6
fats from poultry, eggs and beef (arachidonic acid) seem to be protective
against heart disease;
5279. Omega-3
fats from fish are the most protective against heart disease;
5280. A study
published in Lipids in 2010 compared the effects of a very low-carb,
high-fat diet with either high amounts of omega-6 or high amounts of saturated
fats. The researchers examined blood
levels of fats, cholesterol and inflammation before and after different dietary
changes. They controlled diets by
providing all of the food. When they
then measured blood levels of important markers of cardiovascular health
(including blood levels of saturated fat, cholesterol and inflammation
markers), they found that more than doubling the dietary intake of saturated
fat had no impact. The group that ate
more dietary saturated fat in the absence of sugar or refined carbs had lower
levels of inflammation across the board;
5281. Saturated
fats cause inflammation only in the context of two things: low levels of
omega-3 fats and high levels of carbohydrates.
Take out the high-carb foods and add omega-3 rich foods or supplements
and saturated fat is not a problem;
5282. Many
studies confirm that blood levels of saturated fat (palmitic, stearic and
palmitoleic acid) are significantly correlated with the development of type 2
diabetes and heart disease. But these
fats in the blood are not coming from the fat you eat. They are produced by the liver in response to
the carbs in your diet;
5283. Your
total cholesterol should be under 200 mg/dl;
5284. Your
triglycerides should be under 100;
5285. Your HDL
should be over 60 mg/dl;
5286. Your LDL
should ideally be under 80 mg/dl (although this matters less than the LDL
particle number and size);
5287. Your
ratio of total cholesterol to HDL should be less than 3:1;
5288. Your
ratio of triglycerides to HDL should be no greater than 1:1 or 2:1. If elevated, this ratio can indicate insulin
resistance;
5289. The
(rosemary,) French fries at The Liberty Tavern (TheLibertyTavern.com) in
Clarendon are tasty;
5290. Saturated
fat actually improves your overall cholesterol profile in the face of a
low-carb diet by lowering triglycerides, raising HDL and decreasing the small,
dangerous LDL particles;
5291.
Cholesterol is a fatty substance produced by the liver that is necessary
for thousands of bodily functions. The
body uses it to help build your cell membranes and to cover your nerve sheathes
as well as much of your brain. It’s a
key building block for hormone production; without it you would not be able to
maintain adequate levels of testosterone, estrogen, progesterone and
cortisol. Even more important, without
it, you would die;
5292. People
with the lowest cholesterol as they age are at the highest risk of death;
5293. Under
certain circumstances, higher cholesterol can actually help to increase life
span;
5294.
Attraction in women is the feeling of being desired by a powerful man
who she can trust. Power can be
expressed many ways. It does not just
mean money or status. It can be
intelligence, humor, confidence or just the ability to get things done. Expressing a bit of power, whether it is in
the way you dress, the way you carry yourself or the way you talk, is the first
step to generating attraction;
5295. One of
the big things guys often do not understand is women do not really desire
men. Instead, women desire to be
desired;
5296. True
confidence and self-esteem are about not judging yourself at all. Confidence is a state of non-worry of being
present and occupied with the world as it is and not as it ought to be or as we
judge it to be. True self-esteem is the
state of accepting oneself for good and for bad;
5297. Inhale
deeply, through your nose, and breathe through whatever tensions you notice in
your body. Inhale deeply into your lower
belly. Then exhale. On your next inhalation, breathe into your
lower and upper belly. Then exhale. On your next inhalation, fill your entire
belly then your solar plexus and lower chest.
Then exhale. Then inhale and fill
your belly, solar plexus and your entire chest in that order. For several breaths, inhale fully in this
way, filling your lower belly all the way down to your genitals then the rest
of your belly, solar plexus and finally your chest. Then exhale fully, slowly and smoothly. Throughout the day, practice this kind of
breathing in random moments. Pay special
attention to any part of your body that seems particularly tense or
closed. For instance, if the area around
your navel seems tight, then inhale into that area. Literally inhale right into that area and
open it with the force of your inhaled breath.
Like filling a balloon, you can stretch open the entire front of your
body with your inhale. In this way, you
counter the effects of accumulated fear and anxiety stored in your body, which
diminish your presence and force in the world.
Throughout the day, as soon as you feel tension in the front of your
body, inhale into that area and open it;
5298.
Consciously contract the muscles of the floor of your pelvis. This area includes your genitals, anus and
perineum, which is the space between your anus and genitals. This exercise of contracting your pelvic
floor feels a lot like you are trying to stop yourself from going to the
bathroom. In addition to contracting the
floor of your pelvis, practice pulling it upward into your body and toward your
spine. This upward pull will actually
lift your scrotum slightly up toward your body.
As a single movement, practice contracting and pulling upward the entire
floor of your pelvis, including the anus, perineum and genitals. You can practice this in sets of 15 or 20
contractions, holding them as long as you can.
Do several sets like this, three or four times a day;
5299. While you
are having sex, but before you are close to ejaculating, practice contracting
your pelvic floor. While you contract it
and pull upward, breathe the energy up your spine. You will have to experiment to determine
whether to inhale or to exhale the energy up your spine, although most people
find that exhaling up the spine works best.
If you combine the upward contraction of your pelvic floor with
breathing up your spine, you should lose just a little bit of your erection as
well as the need to ejaculate. As you
continue making love, repeat this exercise as often as you need to in order to
maintain relaxation and openness;
5300. While
practicing this technique, you may notice that you occasionally come very close
to having an orgasm. At this point, stop
moving, apply the upward contraction of your pelvic floor and breathe the orgasm
energy up your spine. In addition to the
upward contraction of your pelvic floor while breathing up the spine, some men
find it helpful to clench their fists and teeth while looking upward with their
eyes, especially when the urge toward ejaculation is particularly strong. With practice, all the muscular action
becomes very subtle and gentle until the entire exercise is done primarily
through your breath, feeling and intention;
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