What I've learned since moving to D.C. (some of which should be obvious): 0126

6251.  There are far more activities and opportunities in the world than we have time and resources to invest in.  Although many of them may be good or even very good, the fact is that most are trivial and few are vital.  That’s the crucial difference between blessing and burden.  We can fill our time with very good things and end up saddled, straddled and stressed.  That’s because good things might still be trivial;

6252.  Essentialism is a lifestyle focused on discerning the difference between the “many trivial” and the “vital few.”  Essentialists are committed to the vital few in every circumstance they can manage.  The benefits include not only lower stress, but the satisfaction of developing real excellence and making a vital contribution through your callings;

6253.  When we forget we have the power of choice, we allow others to determine what fills our time instead of ourselves.  Essentialists remain empowered by choice to determine what they do and don’t do with their time;

6254.  For every ten things nonessentialists do, essentialists do one.  Instead of diffusing their energy, they focus it and gain momentum to make more impact than they otherwise could.  When we complain about being “spread too thin” at work, this is a sure sign we need to shed tasks and train our focus;

6255.  To do one thing is to miss out on others and maybe even essential things.  The more we commit to doing, the more strained our schedules are for the things that are truly important including family, rest and play.  Essentialists weigh every opportunity against the potential tradeoffs;

6256.  Essentialists don’t consider the minimum requirements for a “yes.”  They use extreme criteria: Is this exactly what I want?  Am I ideal for this opportunity?  If it isn’t a clear “yes” then it’s a clear “no;”

6257.  The role of a journalist is not to regurgitate facts, but to explain the meaning of those facts.  Essentialists act as journalists of their own experience.  Instead of allowing others to determine what matters and why, essentialists make that determination for themselves;

6258.  Essentialists pass on about 90% of opportunities.  If we are clear on what we do, we can filter out a thousand things we shouldn’t.  To gain this clarity requires asking hard questions, making difficult tradeoffs and exercising self-discipline.  Essentialists know it’s totally worth investing in the 10% of opportunities that make sense for them;

6259.  Saying “no” to the many trivial requests, essentialists are really saying “yes” to what matters most in their lives: their faith, their family, their health and their calling;

6260.  To be successful, satisfied, fulfilled people, we need to save our energy and creativity for just a few essential opportunities and pass on all the rest.  That will mean some hard choices, but we’re tricking ourselves to think burdening ourselves with superfluous “yeses” will make our life more comfortable.  We’ll just shortchange the important activities and people in our lives;

6261.  Apparently, I can have deep conversations;

6262.  Elizabeth thinks I’m smarter than she is;

6263.  (It’s good, but) Roti Modern Mediterranean (Roti.com) is really just Mediterranean Chipotle;

6264.  The Anthem (TheAnthemDC.com) in D.C. has Happy Hour (drink) prices upstairs before the music starts;

6265.  Elizabeth doesn’t like vinegar;

6266.  Women are self-conscious about their bodies (just) as much as men are (if not more);

6267.  Apparently, I don’t have an ounce of fat on me (. . . not really);

6268.  Apparently, the G(räfenberg)-spot is a small, spongy impression/indentation just inside the front of the vagina;

6269.  Apparently, Elizabeth is a 32 double “D;”

6270.  Christmas doesn’t come only once.  Christmas came at least 4 times.  After that, Christmas lost count/track;

6271.  I can say I’ve been to “Walk the Moon’s” first concert on their “Press Restart” tour (at “The Anthem” in D.C.);

6272.  Let’s remember that our goals are just tools we are using to serve us.  And if they’re not serving us, we get to change them;

6273.  When you follow your “why,” you feel like your life is meaningful.  When you make progress on fulfilling your “why,” it makes you feel like your precious time on this earth is worth trading for what you’re doing;

6274.  When you do work in line with your “why,” you tap into an energy and passion that makes achieving your goals feel effortless.  Even when you’re working hard, you just love it.  When you’re not really following your “why,” you don’t feel like that;

6275.  I don’t love every task, but I love my “why,” so if the task serves my “why,” I will have the motivation to do it.  Even if it’s hard.  If it doesn’t, then I probably won’t;

6276.  If you find that you set goals for yourself that you don’t fulfill or you constantly find it challenging to stick to the plan, maybe you’re just not working on stuff that serves your “why;”

6277.  No matter how much you want a goal, no matter how carefully you plan for it and no matter how diligently you execute on that plan, if you don’t really believe you can have it on a subconscious level or if you have a conflicting subconscious desire that will be violated if you do achieve your goal, then you will not achieve it.  Your subconscious will find a way to sabotage the outcome;

6278.  A lot of people fail in their goal setting because they set their expectations too high or they come from a place of feeling like they’re not good enough so they set goals that actually feel more like punishments.  They prioritize things that they think they “should” do, but, if they did some digging, they’d find those goals are not actually that important to them;

6279.  Clarity about your goals is super important;

6280.  Clarity means: 1.  Clearly defined outcomes of what and how much.  Specifics.  How do you define “success” on this goal?  2.  Clearly defined milestones.  For example, how will you know if you’re making progress on your goal?  How will you measure that?  And how will you know when you’ve been blown off course? and 3.  Clearly defined deadlines.  By when do you want to have milestones completed and by when do you want to have achieved your definition of “success” on this goal?

6281.  Desire + Knowledge + Belief = Success;

6282.  Desire + Knowledge – Belief = Frustration;

6283.  Without the vital ingredient of subconscious belief alignment, where you have a core belief in your ability to attain the goal, no amount of desire or knowledge (or even effort) is going to get you there.  It’s one thing to want a goal, it’s often another thing entirely to believe you can have it;

6284.  If your subconscious mind doesn’t believe you can have it, then you won’t get it.  You’ll fall prey to “subconscious sabotage” and you’ll find that you either spin your wheels, things fall apart at the last minute or you encounter so many obstacles that you just can’t seem to make any progress on your goal;

6285.  When your subconscious beliefs are in alignment with your goals, then your subconscious is working for you 24/7 to achieve your goals.  It never rests.  And when you have that happening, then you need to listen to the prompts and instructions coming back out from your subconscious mind;

6286.  The subconscious doesn’t communicate in words.  It communicates in feelings and pictures. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a feeling is worth even more.  So the subconscious mind processes a ton of information and then it gives you a feeling.  Or it draws your attention to a sign.  Something visual.  Or maybe it will latch onto something someone says.  Or it just gives you a sense of knowing, a clarity.  Call it gut feeling, intuition, instinct, a revelation or a moment of clarity.  Call it whatever you want.  Just learn how to listen to it and act upon it;

6287.  You manifest what you are, not what you want;

6288.  Neuroscience shows us that the pursuit of gratitude plus compassion creates more happiness in our lives than the pursuit of happiness itself;

6289.  If you manifest what you are, then the place to start is by cultivating the key character traits and attitudes of an abundant person;

6290.  5 key attitudes of an abundantly minded person: 1.  Gratitude; 2.  Compassion; 3.  Generosity; 4.  Accountability; and 5.  Forgiveness;

6291.  Gratitude is listed as #1 for a reason because it’s the most powerful place to start.  If you actively cultivate an attitude of gratitude in your life, you’ll very soon access an inner experience of abundance.  Recognizing and celebrating the value of what you’ve already got in your life, on a daily basis, is the fast-track technique to attracting more gratitude-inducing relationships, experiences and stuff into your life;

6292.  Compassion is when you have an awareness and a deep emotional connection with the plight of others (also called empathy) and that awareness is combined with a desire to do something to help.  When compassion is combined with gratitude, it’s even more powerful.  Neuroscience shows us that the pursuit of gratitude plus compassion creates more happiness in our lives than the pursuit of happiness itself.  It’s kind of counterintuitive that pursuing happiness directly is not actually the way to achieve it;

6293.  Once you have the desire to do something to help others (i.e., compassion), then you can put that into practice by cultivating an attitude and habit of generosity.  This is known in Buddhism as “maitri” or “loving kindness.”  Loving kindness can take many forms.  Praying for the well-being and peace of others is one form of loving kindness.  Performing random acts of kindness, where you anonymously do kind things for others is another example.  Why do anonymous acts of kindness?  It’s a way to avoid creating an expectation of reciprocity on the part of your ego (i.e., I was nice to you so you should be nice to me).  It’s also a way of avoiding a subtle inflation of your ego around identifying as a “kind person.”  I’m not saying you shouldn’t be kind when the other person knows it’s coming from you (i.e., like buying flowers for someone who’s sad or cooking a meal for a sick friend) definitely do those things because they’re nice and they build good connections in your relationships.  What I am saying is that if you only do kind acts when you get credit for them, then you might develop a kind of “spiritual ego” around this trait.  Giving generously and anonymously as well as giving when you get the credit can help you to cultivate this inner character trait in a way that the ego can’t latch onto and use it for its own self-aggrandizement;

6294.  Accountability is about how we approach the story of our lives.  We’re all born, a bunch of stuff happens during our time here and then we die.  However, how we interpret the stuff that happens and whether or not we learn from it, makes all the difference.  Do we have an attitude of personal accountability and responsibility?  Or do we have an attitude of victimhood and blame?  Are we willing to take the hand we’ve been dealt by our birth, upbringing, nature and nurture, which is different for every single one of us, and make the most of it in this life?  Are we willing to play the game of life full tilt and to the best of our abilities?  Or are we going to spend our life lamenting the hand we were dealt, being angry about it and blaming our family, fate or traumas on the way things are in our lives, giving up on making things better and resigning ourselves to the idea that this is how it will always be?  Everyone gets dealt a different hand.  Some are harder than others.  People who gloss over this fact usually do so because they don’t want to acknowledge their own privilege;

6295.  Forgiveness is the greatest healing attitude of all and, sometimes, the hardest thing to do.  The flip side of forgiveness, its antithesis, is judgment.  So long as we judge, we’ll find it impossible to forgive.  The best way to let go of judgment is to acknowledge that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so until you’ve walked in their shoes, you probably shouldn’t judge.  And because each one of us has a unique set of gifts, challenges, opportunities and trials that we face, you can never truly walk in another’s shoes;

6296.  If you think it’s your job to judge and punish, that job is never done.  It’s an endless cycle of negativity.  It will suck the life force right out of you and it does not lead to an abundance of good things.  It leads to an abundance of things like disgust, hate, retribution and revenge;

6297.  Consider it your job to be kind to yourself and others, to be compassionate to yourself and others, to be grateful for all you have, to be accountable for your actions (and only your actions) and to forgive yourself and others;

6298.  It seems to help (a lot) if you put a map on your Craigslist posting;

6299.  Whiskey (and) cranberry . . . not so good;

6300.  Some people are truly clueless (i.e., “I don’t want to pay for parking.  Can you just bring the bed down?” . . . “Do you think it’ll (i.e., a bed frame and headboard for a full bed) fit in the backseat/trunk of my car?”);